Chapter 203: Siriel (2)
The wind always turns chilly after the sun sets. Siriel, who was indifferent to both cold and heat, found herself hugging her arms tightly for some reason.
“...It’s over.”
Under the darkening sky, Siriel murmured toward the neatly cleared open space. She had washed up, fearing the smell of sweat, but there was nothing left to do at the hastily arrived location.
In the morning, the area had been strewn with broken bricks, and dozens of pits filled with vile magic had remained. But now, half a day later, not a trace of battle remained; everything was smoothed out perfectly.
‘Now I have nothing to do again.’
Siriel swung her hand in a fit of melancholy. Though she merely waved her hand into the air, a chilling sword mark etched itself onto the smooth dirt ground. It was an unnecessary outburst. However, she felt that if she didn’t do this, her frustration might turn into something bad.
Crunch - Crunch-Crunch -
The disordered ground could be tidied up again. With vague thoughts, Siriel poured her uncomfortable feelings into the ground she had just tidied up.
Even though she overturned the ground several times, her frustration did not vanish.
She might not be the world’s greatest genius, but she was smart enough to consistently rank at the top of her class. Siriel Prient knew well the cause of her frustration and how to resolve it.
‘...I also wanted to show my skills. I have the confidence to do as well as Lucia.’
Once again, she couldn’t do it. Another opportunity slipped away before her eyes.
In the city with Kyrie’s mausoleum, Siriel had showcased her undeniable martial skills alone. But it wasn’t in front of the person she wished would see it.
The one who should have seen her brightest moment was not Lucia but her beloved brother. She didn’t need anyone else. Siriel only needed Shiron’s acknowledgment. But such an opportunity had never come to her.
It was quite funny, really. There had been eleven battles over the past two months.
“...Hoo.”
Siriel pounded her chest and exhaled heat. Now, it was more than frustration; a heavy pain pressed down on her chest. It felt like a stone weighing down on her heart, so heavy and annoying that she began scratching at her chest instead of the ground.
She needed to tidy up and go to bed, and then greet her brother with a bright smile the next day. But the pain in her chest was so great that she couldn’t stop her hands or move her feet.
There was no more opportunity for her.
Soon, Siriel would succeed Hugo and join the Sky Knights. Like her father, she would spend most of the year maintaining the knights and going on expeditions. Unlike Lucia, who had only a nominal title, Siriel would bear clear responsibilities, and she couldn’t stay by Shiron’s side anymore.
As these thoughts reached her, uncontrollable emotions surged within Siriel’s chest.
These feelings were not just anger or sadness. Such simple words couldn’t explain them.
Acknowledging there would be no more chances, sadness, resentment for being in this situation without fault, a desire to monopolize her brother, future longing, vague anger, resentment toward her father, jealousy of Lucia who monopolized opportunities, unresolved frustration, love for her brother, and fear of never achieving it all intertwined and clung to her.
Her mouth twisted, and her eyes closed tightly. Her breathing grew rapid, and her hands clenched.
She had been fine this morning, but now it felt like something had devoured her, and she couldn’t overcome the surging emotions.
Siriel moved her hand from the disordered front to her crown. To stop this ugly behavior, she wanted to feel Shiron’s scent.
Directly finding Shiron would solve it, but how could she show such a messy state to the one she loved? Siriel sat on the ground, recalling her recent memories with Shiron.
‘How did brother touch it?’
Siriel groped her hair, reminiscing. She had made an embarrassing request then, asking how her hair had become like this. It was embarrassing to think about it now, but remembering Shiron’s kindness calmed her.
Thanks to the cold wind, her head cooled down gradually.
...
Strange. Unlike her cooling head, her emotions showed no signs of calming.
It wasn’t that years of pent-up emotions would settle just from a bit of night breeze.
It was because of the clear scent in the cold wind.
A scent mixed with soot and fruit. She thought it might be the special perfume her mother prepared for her father, but it was subtly different. The scent she loved, mixed with the smell of old books and the beautiful light painted in her mind, was Shiron’s scent.
“I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”
At the heavy voice, Siriel’s shoulders shuddered. Usually, she would turn her body toward the direction of the night breeze, but she instead buried her head in her knees as if hiding.
“I couldn’t find you in the room, the practice hall, or the bath, so I even went to the annex.”
Shiron stared at the chaotic clearing, not at Siriel’s back. Despite his efforts to quickly cheer her up, he wondered if he should have been less thorough.
“You’ll catch a cold.”
“No, thinking about it, I can tolerate others, but Lucia is the problem.”
The piled-up emotions burst out. The dirty feelings hidden deep in her heart were exposed. Even to Siriel, it didn’t seem like the image of an attractive woman to pursue, but rather something sordid.
“Why do you keep hanging out with Lucia? I can do what Lucia does. Didn’t I prove it before?”
But like a broken dam, reason couldn’t hold back the emotions.
“Lucia might harm you...”
Finally, even the words she had vowed to keep secret for life spilled out.
“You shouldn’t be close to Lucia...”
“...Why?”
“In my dream, Lucia killed you.”
Shiron’s eyes widened as he listened silently.
‘What does that mean? Lucia kills me in her dream?’
Shiron stared at Siriel with wide eyes. Was she talking about a prophetic power? But a prophetic power was something Siriel could never have, leaving Shiron unable to grasp the situation.
“In the dream, Lucia stabbed you in the chest. Even then, I didn’t tell you for the sake of both of you.”
“Wait, wait...”
“I admit it’s strange to make such a fuss over just a dream. But I feel I can’t express it any other way.”
Without giving Shiron a chance to collect his thoughts, Siriel continued pouring out her words.
“Honestly, it’s true I’m ambiguous. I feel it myself. But at least I wouldn’t stab you in the chest.”
There was no sign of Siriel caring about Shiron’s feelings anymore. Unlike before, when she always prioritized Shiron, Siriel now cut him off rudely.
“I don’t know why Lucia would point a knife at you, but I’m sure it will happen someday. Then you shouldn’t be with Lucia, should you?”
“Siriel. You’re too excited right now.”
Shiron grabbed her shoulders to calm her down.
“Let’s talk after cooling down a bit. If you say things impulsively, you’ll regret it later.”
“I don’t care. I’m serious. I’m not ashamed of my feelings for you.”
“...”
Although Shiron tried to calm her with a joke, Siriel showed no sign of calming down. She clung tightly to his forearm, trembling.
Her hands shook as they gripped his shoulders and forearm. Shiron knew she was troubled, but he didn’t realize the depth of her emotions. He thought praises and presents would suffice, but it seemed he was wrong.
‘Should I propose now?’
The thought crossed his mind several times, but he couldn’t come up with any other solution. Shiron made a firm decision and acted immediately.
“Siriel.”
Their eyes met. Her blue eyes, glistening with heat and moisture, sparkled like stars.
“I love you.”
A surprise confession. Shiron hugged Siriel tightly. He thought this would cheer her up, based on her usual delighted reactions to his words. Judging from her severe criticism of Lucia, Shiron believed the reason behind her instability was her bottled-up feelings toward Lucia.
“I love you.”
He tried to divert her with a stronger emotion.
“You really... want me to go mad.”
But this time, Shiron didn’t get the reaction he wanted.
Huh?
His vision spun rapidly as he fell back. His back hit the ground with a thud. Shiron briefly lost consciousness. As darkness and dizziness engulfed him, he came to his senses when he felt someone climbing on top of him.
“...You’re awake?”
“Thank goodness.”