CH 12

Someone seemed to let out a horrible scream inside my head.

It was the cries of Adrienne, who was now dead, and me, who was still alive.

Although no one could hear it, to me however, it felt as if my ears were being ripped apart.

I couldn’t breathe for a moment. It was completely different from what I had thought.

The degree of shock that came to me was different from when I heard it directly from him instead of the unfounded rumours I had heard from the mouths of others.

Novian, whose eyes were quietly smouldering, continued to pour out his words with a sigh.

“I thought about whether I would follow Adrienne in death and die with her if she died. Then I thought about it more. Adrienne wouldn’t want that. Then I thought of you. When I look at you… Damn it, Adrienne comes to mind! If I’m with you, yes, it will still be difficult and painful. However, even while she was alive, I still suffered.”

“…”

“Adrienne was sick and struggling every day. Do you know how it feels to see someone you love keep suffering and suffering, until they eventually die?”

I don’t know.

That’s right, I probably don’t know how that feels.

I’ve never seen a loved one suffer until the moment just before they die. 

The most painful face of Novian I’ve ever witnessed with my eyes is his face while crying over my dead body at the funeral.

And now, it’s the deep cry of him wanting to follow Adrienne in death.

I looked intently at the face of the man who said he loved his wife while making another woman his mistress. 

The face of a man who wants a mistress while talking about love.

It’s unfamiliar to me. 

For a moment, it felt as if everything was just a dream. 

Although it felt as if I had wandered between dreams and reality every moment since waking up in this body, there had never been a moment that felt more like a dream than now.

The flawless and perfect Novian Trovica.

Was this still the same Novian that poured out his heart and soul to only his wife and no one else, despite being ascetic and cynical?

“…So, you’re saying you want to spend the night with me?”

The trembling voice of Blair Acacia broke the silence. 

I ignored the fact that my heart was already bleeding due to its wounds and tried to confirm it with him again.

It was an opportunity given by ‘Adrienne’, which he wouldn’t even notice.

The only man I had depended and relied on within the desolate Grand Duchy.

The only person who had continued to support and encourage me despite my illness and suffering.

Novian Trovica, my pride and my love.

‘Even if it’s only now, just tell me you don’t want Blair, Noah.’

Please let it all just be a lie. A lie that other people had used to insult the deceased Grand Duchess.

Adrienne Trovica had left no trace of her through a birth behind, so they were just trying to ridicule and crush her.

“Ha, hahaha…”

Novian buried his face in his hands, as if he were mocking himself.

Then he laughed, a sound that was similar to that of a grieving cry, and suddenly raised his head.

Those blue eyes that had darkened and were relaxed due to his drunkenness was that of which I had never seen before.

They were eyes that were engulfed in the ‘lust’ I had only ever seen in books before.

The eyes of an adult who clearly wants to share with this body the mature love of an adult that he had never once shared with the sick Adrienne. 

Although I had never received such a gaze from anyone, I could still feel it instinctively. 

My body trembled even more violently when it felt the strange sensation, as if an invisible hand was sweeping over my whole body.

“You seem to want to turn me into trash that can’t even be recycled.”

tl/m: you ready are bitch

“…Is that not it?”

Tell me it’s not, please.

I looked up at my husband eagerly with a glimmer of anticipation. 

However, as if this expression had encouraged him even more, his face distorted, as if he couldn’t overcome his passion and hugged me tighter.

Although I was clearly in the arms of my husband, whom I had missed so much, for some reason, my heart grew cold.

“That’s right, I want you.”

“!”

Within his cold embrace, I stiffened up.

‘That’s right, I want you.’

The confession of love I had received from my loved one, was truly bitter and painful.

“The Adrienne, whom I was never able to have, and the Adrienne, whom from now on and forever, will never be able to have, compared to that, rather…”

It was unfamiliar, but the blue eyes that heated up were intense, as if they could swallow me whole.

“…I want you, who’s right in front of me, even more.” 

“!”

Suddenly, lips that were full of the taste of alcohol overlapped with mine.

ASSHOLE

It was a kiss that was as intense as his eyes and seemed to swallow me up.. 

This wasn’t the kiss I knew that was shared between Noah and Adrienne.

It was neither affectionate nor tender.

It was just hot, the taste of it seemingly poisonous.

The strong alcohol he had drunk was enough to make my mouth ache.

Novian, who had acted as if he was going to give all of his breath to Adrienne, yet seemed as if he was trying to suck out all the air in Blair and take her breath away.

I was dazed from Novian’s assault on my lips and just shed my tears.

He didn’t care. 

He just stared tenaciously into my eyes, kissed me, and took my breath away. 

Although it was the wide embrace I had missed so much, the kiss I had always never had… 

It was painful enough to feel as if my heart was being torn to shreds, and so disgusting it felt as if the champagne I had drank just a short while ago was disgusting enough to regurgitate.

As I barely regained my senses and pushed him away, gasping for breath, I saw the pale face of Roadnez, standing and looking at us from below the terrace.

His gleaming red eyes were cold, the opposite of its colour.

***

pls do not share this anywhere or the transmigration gods will transport u into boku no pico !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.wordpress.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

I got out of the terrace of the drunk Novian and opened the emergency door in the second hallway and fled.

Novian didn’t even so much as look down at me as I ran across the garden. 

Although I didn’t even have the courage to look back, he probably didn’t since he wouldn’t be able to catch me, nor did I feel any gaze on me.

“…”

A silence, more terrible than any scream, settled in the corner of the gloomy garden I had escaped to. 

And I too, had no choice but to stand there blankly, in a daze.. 

Outside a closed corridor without any person to be seen. 

When I saw the image of Blair reflected in the window, tears welled up and quietly flowed down. 

I leaned my back against the corridor wall and collapsed onto the ground, turning away from the reflection of Blair’s crying face.

I had to get back to the carriage quickly, but my body didn’t have any strength left in my body.

“Urk… Hic…”

In a place that obscured the resentfully bright moonlight, I was crying, reeling from the cold and the betrayal. 

Drip, drip.

When a darker shadow fell over the teardrops that drizzled on the dry and dark floor… 

“!”

I realized that the dark shadow that covered my tears didn’t seem like a garden tree. 

Feeling as if my heart had dropped to my feet, I raised my head.

“…You looked like you needed some help.”

The sight of the man that was always talking about that damned help standing there filled my eyes.

A polite, and rather deep voice. 

Yet the voice seemed to sound more arrogant.

Although the voice that had asked if I needed any help was the same, a man with a much colder disposition was now shining right in front of me.

It was Roadnez, the Second Prince.. 

*** 

I just wanted to tell him to leave me alone since I didn’t need any help. 

Would it be too soon for me to jump up and face him?

When Roadnez raised his hand arrogantly, Neil, who I didnt’ even know was there, approached him and handed something to him.

“…”

Tears welled up as I stared at him blankly. 

Looking down at me, Roadnez put something he had received from Neil on the floor. 

Since he had acted so slowly with such a stoic expression on his face, I could barely breathe when I finally looked at it.

“…!”

What Roadnez had put down on the ground was a very familiar shoe. 

To be precise, they were the black shoes I had worn to my funeral and lost after meeting this man and running away.

“You looked like you needed some help.”

ONly then did I check my feet, which had somehow felt cold for some reason.

Ah, I really hate it.

“…Was it wrong of me to think so, Countess Acacia?”

The blond hair of Roadnez, who had tilted his head slightly, shimmered as if it had been sprinkled with gold particles and lit from behind.

A gentle face that knew about the me who had left my shoes behind and fled, the me who lied to Neil, who had come to the Count’s mansion, a face that had already known everything.

Between the sunken eyelids and the tip of his arrogant nose, a light shadow was repeatedly cast and disappearing whenever he tilted his head slightly.

“Thank… Thank you, Your Highness.”

Although I wasn’t thankful at all, I still answered in a deeply reverent voice.

Roadnez’s large hand appeared in front of me. 

Giving up, I accepted his help and quickly put on my shoes.

I could not stand barefoot, nor pretend not to know any longer. 

A prince who wouldn’t even care about who I was in the cemetery nor whatever lies I told Neil. 

Seeing as how neither I, who he had personally seen run away from him, nor I, who had lied to Neil, were being interrogated.

Perhaps he was a more warm-hearted person than what I had thought. He may have just followed me to deliver these shoes.

“Now…”

I tried to pull my hand from his after putting on my shoes, but Roadnez held on tightly to my hand, as if he had been waiting, and pulled me closer towards him.

I looked up at his face, startled at the sound of his exhale brushing close to the top of my head.

“…Don’t you think it’s time for you to introduce yourself?” 

A low voice climbed up my body, as if crawling on the floor which was wet with my tears.

“!”

He knew everything.

He knew the whole time that this body was Blair Acacia.

He knew that I was the woman who had frantically fled from the cemetery.

A polite, and mellow, deep voice.

On the contrary, his eyes that seemed to be fire waging against cold ice, accurately looked down at me.

“…!”

Those cold eyes that had witnessed the moment between Novian Trovica and his mistress.

Those exact eyes.

I felt the rush of shame and humiliation creeping in and my tears welling up.

‘This man has seen it all.’

He had seen it all.

Something that was neither laughter nor tears came out of my frozen eyes and mouth.

‘Who am I?’

“…The mistress of Novian Trovica.”

At that moment, cracks started to appear in that noble man’s face.

The impulsive words I had blurted out became huge fireballs that felt as if they were repeatedly burning my throat.

What was the point in lying to a man who had already witnessed everything?

“I am the mistress of Novian Trovica.”

And in the end, I spat that fireball at that man.

Those beautiful sparkling red eyes shook wildly, yet they couldn’t turn away from me.

I spat it out again in a surge of anger and unexplainable excitement. 

In fact, it was the same as taking your anger out on someone who kept unknowingly encountering the anger that had been boiling up from before.

“And now, I don’t want to live as his mistress…”

A ridiculous shamelessness burst out, like tears bursting out of my eyes.

“…Doesn’t it look like I need some help?”

You kept asking me if I needed any help.

You dared to come all the way here to expose my wounds, even after seeing all of my faults. 

You dare to make me reveal my identity and keep holding my hand. 

However, the shock was brief, and as if someone had drawn it, his beautiful and sharp eyes curved slightly.

As if he was smiling.

“It seems like you do.”

As I stared at him, as if possessed, I had no choice but to shake off the hand that was still held by the red beast.

Since the beast had said this with eyes that were filled with infinite affection and tenderness, yet at the same time, looked as if he would kill me.

“Let me ask you one more time. So… Do you need any help?” 

With an expression that seemed as if he would strangle me immediately if I said I didn’t need it.