While both of them were walking to the place where he left their groceries, Han Nanxian suddenly sighed and paused to look at his younger brother, “I’m going.”
“Good for you.” Han Zixin said with a snort. He didn’t pause in his footsteps like Han Nanxian. He just kept on walking ahead.
“I am leaving China, ” Han Nanxian said with utmost seriousness.
“Very nice, ” Han Zixin indifferently commented once again.
“Han, I’m not coming back ever, ” This time Han Nanxian’s voice was soft and serious.
This made Han Zixin pause in his footsteps and look at him.
Han Nanxian softly smiled as he looked at his brother who was now giving him his full attention, “I’m leaving. I didn’t tell you but I will be appearing for the college entrance test. But I will not be joining any national university. I received Havard’s confirmation letter a few days ago. I’m leaving and I’m not coming back.”
The last conversation with his father made him see his life from a new perspective. How long was he going to let his father treat him like a patient? He loved his father. There was no doubt about this. But he was tired of living the life of a sick boy. He was born and his father lost his wife. After a year, he was diagnosed with a deadly illness.
His father was told that only a bone marrow transplant could save his life. This was how Han Zixin came into the picture. His cruel father impregnated a woman only to have a child who could share similar bone marrow as Han Nanxian. When Han Zixin was old enough to be brought into the family, his father threw the woman who gave him birth away.
And when Han Zixin served his purpose, he was thrown away from Han Nanxian’s life by the cruel father again.
Han Nanxian had enough of everyone. He was feeling like he hadn’t lived a single day in his life for himself. Who was he living for? What was his purpose in life? What was he fighting for? What did he actually want from life?
He knew nothing.
And he knew that as long as he was under the thumb of his father he would never be able to discover himself.
He just wanted a life for himself.
He knew that he was selfish but it was a now or never chance for him.
“Does your father know?” Han Zixin found his voice and asked the question while looking at the boy who looked a lot like him. It wasn’t the first time he noticed similarities between both of them.
“No. You are the first one, ” Han Nanxian said with a smile. Wasn’t fate cruel to him? His brother finally started tolerating his presence and he had to leave. But he was happy that once he was gone, his brother would receive everything that was Han Zixin’s, to begin with. His little brother would lead the life he was born to live when the stumble in his road would be gone.
“He will not allow it, ” Han Zixin said. As much as he knew that man, he would never let his only son leave him. It was Han Nanxian’s wishful thinking to be away from his family.
“Good.” Han NanXian shrugged as he went on, “I have enough of the life he wants me to live. I’m dying, I would rather die in peace and freedom.” Next moment, his voice turned extremely remorseful as he said, “Han, this is the last chance for me to say sorry to you. I’m sorry for what my father did. But I’m not sorry for hiding the truth. I love you the most in this world. I was happy being selfish back then. I am happy to know that you are now happy in my life. This is my goodbye to you. When the time comes, I will inform my father.”
“I don’t need your fucking sorry, ” Han Zixin screamed. “You are no one to me. I’m no one to you! Dammit!”
“Sometimes I wish that I had died in the hospital back then, but then I look at you and understand that God gave me this life to make up for everything you lost. I will die making up for you, “Han Nanxian said. He believed that the best way for making Han Zixin happy was to leave his life.
“What about the Empire he created for you?” Han Zixin tried to reason with him. “You can’t go!”
“That’s yours. I need nothing. That’s the least he could give you after the pain he put you through, “Han Nanxian smiled.
Han Zixin punched Han Nanxian’s jaw and the latter hit the wall. “Motherfu*er! Selfish bastard all of you! Get out of my eyes before I beat you more.”
“Han, listen to me, ” Han Nanxian still used a soft tone to talk to him. “I have to leave or I will die here. It’s suffocating. Cancer didn’t suffocate me as much as living this life does. I know I should be grateful for the life you have given me, but I can’t stay.”
“Young Master, I gave you no life, ” Han Zixin said sarcastically. “If you forget should I remind you of the story again!!! I will never take your things. Never. If you want to go? Then go ahead. But don’t blame me for leaving like a fucking coward. You aren’t leaving for me but yourself. I’m just a pathetic excuse.”
Han Nanxian sighed as he looked at her. “Perhaps, you are right. I don’t know much at this time. I just know that I have to leave before I lose myself.”
“I’m sorry, Han.”
____
“Here, take this, coffee, ” Gu Yanxi smiled at the woman who had been working tirelessly since the morning without any break. He removed her glasses and placed them on the table before pushing the coffee mug near her.
An Qinyan smiled back at him. Lines of tiredness and weariness were visible on her face. “Thank you. How do you know I was craving coffee?”
“Well, coffee is your fuel, ” Gu Yanxi said. “Drink your coffee in peace and then I brought some files for you to discuss.” He took his liberty to sit beside her and put her head on his shoulder to let her relax for a moment.
“Yanxi, what are you doing?” An Qinyan asked suddenly.
“What did I do?” Gu Yanxi asked her innocently.
“You are pushing my boundaries, ” An Qinyan replied.
“Yanyan, ” He softly called out her name. “Let’s get together, alright?”
An Qinyan sighed. “Yanxi, aren’t you tired of asking the same question again and again?”
“I will stop asking you the question when you will refuse me, ” Gu Yanxi said in utter seriousness. “Tell me you don’t me and we will be back to professional colleagues.”
“I have two children, Yanxi, ” An Qinyan whispered.
“What a coincidence! I have one too. Would you discriminate against me for raising a kid?” GI Yanxi asked with a smile.
“You know I will never, ” An Qinyn replied. “Gu Shangyan changed you for the better. He put a stop on your daredevil behaviour and made you take your life seriously. I would never discriminate against you just because you have a child.”
“Then, why do you think I will discriminate about the same thing?” Gu Yanxi asked her. “Did you see how much our children liked each other? Did you ever imagine Xuan being close to someone like Shangyan? I never expected those two to click. But look at them. All three of them fit together so well. Xiulan even calls Shangyan Gege now. Why don’t we make him her Gege?”
“You are so good with your words, ” An Qinyan muttered.
“Really?” Gu Yanxi asked her. “I wonder why my magic of words never works on you. If I was so good with my words, I would have persuaded you to be mine a long time ago.”
“Gu Yanxi! Go to work! Don’t make me want to beat you, ” An Qinyan said as she turned her face to hide her red cheeks. Oh my, what was she again? A teenager again?
“And she says why Lu Xuan is so violent, ” Gu Yanxi huffed, earning a glare from her.
“Scram!” An Qinyan said but he didn’t move. Instead, he asked, “When are you going back? I told you I can handle this matter alone.”
“Gu Yanxi, don’t you think that someone deliberately caused trouble here?” An Qinyan couldn’t help but ask. “Nobody died. The injuries aren’t even that major but the matter is being hyped so much all of a sudden. Don’t you feel this is something plotted by someone?”
Gu Yanxi smirked. “That’s why I said I came with files to discuss the matter.”
_____
A/N: Sometimes, we shouldn’t be sorry for leaving. The life Han Nanxian is living it’s not his own. He had been living it for eighteen years and he could not live it anymore. He was bound to fail everyone’s big expectations one day and that day was today.