Chapter 190 Long buried fears.

When An Xiulan was returning to her room, she saw Chen Jia sneaking into Jiang Yao’s stuff from the corner of the door. Chen Jia was in the top five along with the other girls. She took out skin care products from Jiang Yao’s bag and was reading something on it or maybe it was what she was pretending to do.

Jiang Yao was a famous beauty influencer who had been known for her work on social media. Among all, she carried most skincare products with her. She had a big bag full of makeup and skin care. She was a skincare expert who could tell which products are best suited for a particular kind of skin. Her skin was glowy and baby-like.

This Chen Jia girl was really suspicious to An Xiulan at this moment. She texted Jiang Yao that Chen Jia was snooping through her stuff and then she went back to her room.

On the other hand, it was a sunny day for Han Zixin and his grandfather. They were cleaning their garden which was ruined by the harsh sun. All the flowers and plants could not withstand the harshness of the cruel sun and thus withered. Since many of the outside plants and flowers gas withered, they thought of cleaning their garden.

After cleaning the garden, Han Zixin was about to take a bath when he heard a doorbell ring. He had no other option but to open the door or his grandfather who was resting his tired body would have to open the door. His grandfather had over-exhausted his body in the sun and so with his sweaty and smelly body, Han Zixin turned to open the doorbell.

He found Song Xueyun outside his door. For a moment, he thought that it was an illusion. What would she be doing here? Their tuition classes wouldn’t start until the summer actions ended and Han Nanxian went back to his house. He and Song Xueyun were not close enough to visit each other’s houses. So, what brought her here? What do they have in common?

An Xiulan and Han Nanxian.

Song Xueyun’s eyes were red and she was still in her night suit. From her state, he could tell that she just woke from sleep. He was not wrong actually. She studied till late at night and was sleeping late when she heard the news that made her forget about anything else.

“Han Zixin…” Song Xueyun cried as she glanced at the boy. She grabbed his hand and tried to drag him with her. “Nanxian….”

She was so emotionally overwhelmed that she couldn’t even complete her sentence.

Han Zixin’s heart stilled as he heard the name that escaped her mouth.

“What happened? Is he fine? Is he in pain? What happened to him?” Han Zixin asked in apparent worry.

No, he was not worrying but panicking. It might not be visible but his insides were shaking in fear of the unknown.

It was as if his long-buried fears reared their ugly heads once again.

This feeling….was indescribable but it was a very suffocating feeling. He couldn’t breathe.

When he used to be a little kid, his parents would always come to wake him up whenever Han Nanxian’s health would deteriorate. Like a devoted brother, he would sit by his brother’s side all day and night. He was not forced to sit by Nanxian’s side but his heart would be restless whenever sick Nanxian would be out of his sight.

Therefore, this fear in his heart that someday something was going to happen to Han Nanxian was settled permanently. He couldn’t help but think negatively even at this moment.

Song Xueyun shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She, the epitome of coldness, was crying pitifully. No matter how cold a person is, there is always something and someone that is capable of melting or breaking any cold heart. She said in a cracked voice, “I was sleeping when he called…. He…he said…he said he was at…airport… he was talking nonsense. Or that’s what I thought…he is telling me that he is leaving for America forever… he is lying, right?”

Even she didn’t know why she was crying this pitifully hearing the news that her best friend was leaving for America. She refused to believe that he would never return. Perhaps, she didn’t want to lose her only best friend.

Han Zixin felt his body going cold as he heard Song Xueyun’s words. His heart was drumming loudly against his ribcage. His eyes teared up as he looked at her through blurry eyes and dashed through the door. He was about to take out his bicycle when she stood up before him.

“We won’t reach on time, ” Song Xueyun said as she looked at his bicycle. “His flight leaves in forty minutes. The airport is thirty minutes away. I drove my dad’s car here. If I drive the car to the airport, maybe we will reach it on time.”

“You don’t have a license, ” Han Zixin said, looking at her.

“I know, ” Song Xueyun said. Although she did not have a driving license, she knew how to drive the car. “This is not the right time to think about all these things. We have to reach the airport. Hop in.”

Han Zixin nodded his head and took the passenger seat while she drove to the airport. Thankfully, they were not stopped by the traffic police at any point and they couldn’t be happier about it.

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A/N: Do you know this book is mostly based on my experiences, thoughts, fantasies and dreams. I can see an image of myself in all the characters.

So, when I was writing this chapters I was thinking about all those people who I hate or I claim or or who hurt me too much and we are not ok speaking terms. Even if all I have for them is bitterness in my heart, I still can’t wish for them to be hurt.

If they are hurt, maybe I would be first person to put a balm on their wounds.

Because maybe like me, you all are not capable of hating. We all have a soft spot for that someone.

All I want to say is that caring for them doesn’t make you a bad person or a weak one. Instead, it makes you ‘You’.

Just like how Han Zixin is not weak to care for Han Nanxian. He cares too much for his brother but broken relationship doesn’t get mended in a single day.