Chapter 181: Ship’s ready!

Chapter 181: Chapter 181: Ship’s ready!

[General POV]

-Dunphy's house, late at night-

"My legs are still shaky." Haley whined as she walked with Alex to the kitchen. Claire was tapping on her laptop as she saw the girls, and quietly listened in to their conversation.

Claire grabbed her cup and tea and slowly sipped it. Subsequently, Alex continued replying to Haley, "With all of the grunting and moaning you did, I'd be more concerned for your throat."

Claire spat out her drink in shock, and looked at her daughter with a horrified expression as she wiped her mouth with a napkin, "W-What?"

Haley said casually, "Ignore Alex mom. She's jealous because she wasn't the one laying down on the bed."

Alex snorted and spoke sarcastically, "Yeah right, I'm jealous that I had to watch you having a 'good time' alone. Ugh, I know for sure this...will come back to haunt me again in my dreams tonight."

Claire's voice shook and she asked, "Haley...you ha– had a ... 'good time', and you made Alex watch?"

Haley defended herself, "Well she was the one who insisted on staying. I wanted her to leave me alone too. At first I thought it'd be weird, but turns out, I'm okay with it."

Claire gasped sharply and covered up her mouth as her eyes got glassy.

"Geez mom. Why do you look so anxious? You know what? Maybe, you should arrange some time and let Ed work his magic on you too." Haley said, not thinking much.

"W-WHAT?!" Claire exclaimed in disbelief.

Haley smiled and said excitedly, "Yeah mom. The way he just gets in there...and continues digging the sore spot, despite how many times you scream...but what you really want is for him to get in there more..."

"Haley that's enough!" Claire couldn't even look Haley in the eye after that. Phil walked in at that moment and asked, "Hey honey."

"Dad. Edward, is amazing!" Haley spoke excitedly.

"Don't tell your dad that!" Claire said hurriedly and panicky.

Phil was confused and then smiled, "No wait. I already knew that. Alex told me when they came back. I texted Edward to see if I could learn from him."

[Phil's commentary]

"When Alex told me how great he was at massaging, I was doubtful at first, to be honest. But then, I saw Haley with a light glow on her skin, and even her steps seemed airy. Not to brag, but I am an officially recognized masseuse. But I could never do what he did."

"Claire has been working extra hard these last few months. So, I wanted to do something nice for her. Even if I'm not the one that's going to give it to her, I'd be fine with Edward taking over my job."

[Phil's commentary]

Haley grinned and said, "You really should learn that! Maybe learn it as you watch mom while she gets it from him. You can stay on the chair beside them like Alex did."

"OOh. I should bring a camera too so I can rewatch the whole thing at night to study the technique." Phil nodded as he was acknowledging what Haley said, but Claire was really horrified right now.

"You guys are sick! This whole family is sick!" Claire scolded before she anxiously stormed away, grabbing Luke with her as she got out of the house.

"Honey, where are you going?" Phil asked. "All I wanted to do was ask Edward to show you a good time. I know you want it too."

"NO. I DON'T!" Claire said from afar.

Alex then realized something, "Does mom know we were talking about a massage?"

"Hmm? What else could we be talking about?" Phil asked, confused. Haley was also confused, leaving Alex as the only one trying to hold back her laughter.

"You should really explain the topic of the conversation next time." Alex said to Phil before she cackled. Then, she stopped and spoke sternly, "Seriously. You should go there and tell her about that right now. Or else she won't ever come back to the house."

"I got it." Phil didn't question his smart daughter and ran for Claire immediately. The sisters didn't react much to the normal family drama. Haley changed the subject and asked, "Oh yeah. What did you guys talk about before we went back?"

"Oh. He said he was going to bake but I noticed that he was really tired already, so I said no." Alex replied.

"Huh? Tired?...wait. How did he say it?"

"He said, "I'm going to get baked, just to get your sister's voice out of my head." His grammar was already all over the place." Alex replied with a slight chuckle.

Haley widened her eyes, but then she smiled and said, "You know. Sometimes, you're so smart... but Sometimes..."

"Huh?" Alex was smiling at first but then was confused as to why Haley stressed out the word sometimes at the end.

...

[Edward POV]

"Why did I make some dough last night?" I wondered as I checked the fridge after I woke up in the morning. It was only 4.30 am, and the sun wasn't even up yet.

"I don't know. Everytime I asked you about it, you just giggled and slapped the dough. Then, you ate a bunch of snacks before going to sleep." My dad replied as he was sipping coffee.

Usually, we get up around 5.30 to 6, but today was a special day.

"Oh. Nevermind that then." I replied, not wanting for him to realize that I was as high as a kite last night. "They are hauling your new ship to the dock right now, are you excited?"

"Excited as I'll ever be with a ship's engine so faulty, its role model could be right from the titanic." My dad joked.

"To be fair, the Titanic didn't have an engine problem. They had the iceberg problem, and most of the rich people on board were against the institution of the Federal Reserve and its ease to print more money, so you know they weren't really 'able' to live that long."

"Wait. Is that real?"

"Nah. I'm just messing around. You hear that, NSA–agent–tapping–into–our–phones?" I joked.

My dad smiled and said, "Someone seems to be in a good mood today?"

"I'm in a good mood everyday I woke up and still have muh moneeeeyy than yesterday." I said as I did a gangsta gesture. "By the way, since I have the giant ass dough, I'm thinking of making cronuts. But it's going to take about an hour for me to bake it."

"What's a cronut?" My dad asked.

I looked at him in disdain and said, "So Uncultured."

"???" My dad was really confused about this. Why wouldn't he be since cronuts wouldn't be invented till 2013, and I currently had no idea that they didn't exist in this world yet!

A cronut was a mixture of croissant and donut, hence the name, cronut. It became viral the moment it was invented. In my past life, I was a big fan of the pastry, but I never knew the history of it.

"So, should I do it or not?" I asked my dad again.

He thought about it and then shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't matter if we're a bit late. We're 'the boss'. So, I'd say, go for it."

"Hmm...Alright. So, go away now. I want to record the process and upload it, and you staying here will ruin the video's quality."

"I'm not sure if that's a technical term, or an... insult."

"Whenever you aren't sure about something, just go straight to insult. Trust your instinct on that." I smirked at him as I chased him away.

He didn't go far, and just sat out of the video's frame. While I was setting up the cameras, he said, "I maybe remembering this wrong, but didn't you hate, and if I may quote you on this, 'That parasitical waste of human society– the instagram influencers', so why are you trying to be like them right now?"

I pointed a knife at my dad and warned, "Call me an influencer again, and I'll stick this where the sun doesn't shine! How dare you compare someone who is giving the gift of 'food porn' to the world to someone who even the porn industry is going to reject! Just for that, I'm downgrading your cronut amount from two to one."

"Oh come on!" My dad whined. "Ugh. I hate this new dynamic between us." He fakely complained.

"Well, go get me a new mother. That will for sure change the dynamics of everything." I joked/seriously said to him.

He froze for a while and let out a fake cough before saying, "Do you need any help?"

"Ummm...There's no need. I can do it on my own. But I'm going to need containers to put them in."

I pressed the record button on the camera and started cooking. However, just like with my dad, I made the whole video on the assumption that people knew what a cronut was.

My dad took out a couple of boxes from the cupboard and asked me weirdly, "Why do we have donut boxes here...And why are they labeled... so simply?"

It was an orange and red coloured box with the label [Foodstuff] on it.

I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Well it's not like I'm going to open my own bakery! It's just something I need, and the suppliers won't custom make it if there isn't a brand name on it."

"And you think a good name for it should be, [Foodstuff]?"

"I mean it IS a box for the food... and stuff... so stop bothering me and go fold the boxes!"

I turned back to the camera while I was cutting the dough I had flattened and said, "I'm not going to make it circular, but instead I'm going to make it a rectangular cronut. Cause making circular ones is going to give me a lot of work to re-knead them."

After I finished making the cronut, I put one on a plate and then glazed it. Then, I captured the finished product and then finally filmed me taking a bite of it and asking people to try it out on their own and enjoy.

The name of the ship was the Billy O' Tea??

??The winds blew up, her bow dipped down

Oh blow, my bully boys, blow (huh)??"

The sailors smiled and then filled up their morning cup of coffee with liquor. I hopped on the top of the table and sang.

"??Soon may the Wellerman come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go??"

"Remember this part!" I shouted to them. Frankie was confused and whispered to my dad, "What's a Wellerman?"

"I don't know. I think it means traders. I'll ask him about it later." My dad replied with a whisper too. Then, I caught both of them making eyes at each other, blushing and giggling, which made me confused and almost slip from the table. 'Wasn't she a lesbian?', I thought secretly.

"??She'd not been two weeks from shore

When down on her a right whale bore

The captain called all hands and swore

He'd take that whale in tow (huh)??"

"All together now!" I shouted.

The whole crew than sang together in harmony, "??Soon may the Wellerman come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go??"

I laughed before I sang alone,

"??Da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da??"

"??Before the boat had hit the water

The whale's tail came up and caught her

All hands to the side, harpooned and fought her

When she dived down low (huh)??"

Together: "??Soon may the Wellerman come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go??"

??No line was cut, no whale was freed

The captain's mind was not of greed

And he belonged to the Whaleman's creed

She took that ship in tow (huh)??

"Oh god. This story is like Moby Dick's story. And even that name is here, on the new ship's bow!" Glenn shouted in a weird high pitched voice. Well, higher pitch than the normal high pitch.

Together: ??Soon may the Wellerman come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go??

Together: ??Da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da??

??For forty days or even more

The line went slack then tight once more

All boats were lost, there were only four

But still that whale did go (huh)??

??Soon may the Wellerman come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go??

??As far as I've heard, the fight's still on

The line's not cut, and the whale's not gone

The Wellerman makes his regular call

To encourage the captain, crew and all (huh)??

Together: ??Soon may the Wellerman come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day, when the tonguing is done

We'll take our leave and go??

I slowed down the music and then sang the last verse, "??Soon may the Wellerman come! To bring us sugar and tea and rum! One day, when the tonguing is done! We'll take our leave and go??"

The crowd clapped and cheered shortly after that. Then, they returned to their cakes and drinks, which made me feel a little bit like a cheap whore.

"Pffts. Sailors." I scowled in disgust as I walked to my dad and Frankie.

"Hey dad. Are you trying to teach Frankie what 'tonguing' means? Cause you should teach her in private for that."

My dad widened his eyes while Frankie chuckled. "I know what tonguing means Ed. But thanks for thinking about me."

I chuckled a bit seeing their reaction, and then I whispered to Frankie, "I thought you like girls?"

"Hmm? What? Why do you think that? Or ask about that?" Frankie was confused.

"Nevermind. I'm going to get to school. Bye! Oh, and dad, make sure that everything is okay with the ship first before taking her out."

"Stop nagging. Go! You're late." He chased me away quickly to prevent me talking to Frankie anymore.

"Ah, and by the way, I approve of her if you want her to be my new mother–"

"GOO!" My dad scolded me as I tried to speak with him again in the car. Then, I drove off quickly and then stopped by the middle school first to leave the pastry to Mrs Henderson– got scolded by her for a while because I wasn't in my class, and only after that did I get to my high school.