Chapter 1: A 17-year-old girl
00. A 17-year-old girl
The beginning was always the same.
The gray sky, the drizzling rain, the muddy, barren garden. The chill in the air, the mud-stained nightgown. The gash on her throat that stung. If she didnt go back to the mansion soon, the gardener would find her. She kicked the rope near her feet and headed to the passage used by maidsshe failed again this time. Its cold. This time, once again. She gritted her teeth. What went wrong this time.
Unlike the damp hallway, the room inside was warm. The temperature was better due to the thick fur quilts that blocked out the cold and the fire that burned in the fireplace.
She took off her dirty clothes and threw them into the fireplace, at which, the fire died because her clothes were wet.
Cursing to herself as she turned on the lamp at the foot of her bed, she poured oil into the fireplace so that the fire would burn once more. She stared at the woman in the mirror. She failed again this time.
She sat on a wooden chair, and on the table was a piece of paper and a small tub of ink. After staring at those for a long time, she grabbed a pen. Dipping it into the inkwell, she wrote on the piece of paper.
117. My name is
She lost her grip over the pen and stopped writing. Whats the point? Even her name was meaningless. She felt empty. This time, this time! She thought the same thing for ten years. For the next thirty years, she tried to adapt. The next twenty years, she only thought about how she could make herself die. Then, the next five years were spent doing nothing. And And.
Carynne Hare.
She fell into a book.
And for 117 years, she couldnt get out.
* * *
The book she transmigrated into was a typical romance novel. Carynne, the daughter of a minor fief lord, was to be wed to her relative, Dullan Roid, so that her family could keep the territory. But just like any other female protagonist, Carynne was a girl who dreamed of true love, and so she broke off her engagement.
She couldnt possibly love a smelly, skinny, hateful-looking man. After that, Carynnes family fell into ruin, so she started working as a lady-in-waiting for a young noblewoman, and there, she fell in love with Raymond, the fianc of the young noblewoman. Following many trials and adversities, Carynne and Raymond got married.
The novels timeline was roughly over a year, and she also succeeded in marrying Raymond by using the same method. Happy ending. Happy ending.
After this chapter ended, Carynne was murdered the very next page. It was through poison. After collapsing because of the burning pain, she woke up at dawn, in the middle of the garden. She had trembled with fear.
Then, she fell in love with Raymond once again. She fell asleep in his embrace. Yet, when she opened her eyes, she was back in the same garden. This was the second time she died, and she didnt even know why.
The third loop was spent staying away from Raymond, who then married another woman, and Carynne applauded as she attended the wedding as a guest. After the ceremony, she died after being trampled by a horse during the wedding procession. Her whole body was mangled.
The same was true after this round. The reason was different every time, but the end was always the sameher death.
Just in case it would work, she pushed through with her engagement a few years ago. Her engagement with Dullan hadnt been broken, and she had wedded him without any problems. But when she woke up once more, she was back in the same garden. She didnt know which it was that sent her back, whether it was when she had died or whether it was when a year had passed.
It wasnt until a considerate amount of time that she figured out the mechanics of the loop.
1. The duration is one year. It always starts in the garden while its raining.
2. After one year, Carynne dies for whatever reason and will return to the same time and place.
3. She would start anew while bringing back with her the things in her hands that she was holding as she died.
Thanks to the third law, she was able to have faith that she wasn't dreaming. The number 116 was engraved onto the flat gold coin in her hand. After changing the number 6 to 7, she looked up at the ceiling. She couldnt even remember her original face anymore.
She had lived as Carynne for more than a century. As her mind grew more than twice as old as her body, she had lost any hope of being able to leave this novel.
Id rather die, really.
Youre not supposed to say that, Milady. I cant imagine a world without you here.
Nancy, a dark-skinned maid, berated Carynne lightly as she brushed her hair. She could still remember a time where the worlds most important Missus was a woman who had the same dark skin. It was more than a hundred years ago. It was too vague of a memory to even call it a memory.
Whenever she saw this maid who was closest to her, Carynne would be reminded again that she wasnt from this world. When she saw for the first time how the maid bowed towards her, Carynne shuddered in reluctance.
But then again, if this maid did not keep her head down as she left the room, she would be punished and beaten. This was how colored people were treated here, even the elderly. She had witnessed it for 117 years. Only time could change such values of humanity.
Does Milady not like Lord Dullan to that extent?
This time, Carynne was set on doing something. She was too lazy to marry Raymond, too lazy to spend time taking care of the fiefdom. Shes already read almost all the books she could get her hands on, and the food here wasnt delicious at all.
C-Carynne Hare. Y-Your h-husband has come to you, yet y-you make that face?
Not yet.
F-Fianc.
Either way, not yet.
Dullan, Carynnes fianc.
It was strange how he wore his black priests robe while attending his fiances birthday banquet. She was already used to it, but her brows would still furrow at the unpleasant sight of him being unbearably self-conscious. What she couldnt stand wasnt really how whispers followed them while they were together, but rather his attitude of being so conscious of the eyes on him.
It was embarrassing. He arrived a while ago, yet he didnt even change his clothes. What he wore right now didnt match the occasion, and there were mud stains clinging onto the edges of his pants.
He smelled disgustingly of medicine, wine and acrid rain. His wide eyes looked like a dead fishs, and the black shadows underneath them made it so that children would cry at just the sight of him. Even maids would sometimes get surprised after seeing him. And those eyes were looking at Carynne right now.
Of course, Carynne had gotten used to them for over a hundred years, so she wasnt particularly affected by that ghastly gaze.
W-What are you thinking about?
Nothing much.
He was very tall, but he was skinny, had no money, and didnt know how to use his d*ck. He was a man who didnt love Carynne and instead lusted for her. Apart from that, he was arrogant and rude.
Carynne loathed him, yet at the same time, she hated herself for feeling so strongly towards mere ink on paper.
If he was even the least bit attractive, none of the conflict in the novel would have happened!
It was a laughable thought. Just what the hell was this man. She had tried getting married to him, but that didnt work. When she returned after spending a year with Dullan, her frustration had reached its peak.
Everything was meaningless. She had lived compassionately back then, like a nun, but it was all for nothing.
Life is meaningless.
B-But After getting m-married
All women who are about to get married feel the same way and the same frustration, but most of these concerns disappear after you get married. Stop thinking youre some sort of fairytale princess, Lady Hare, is what you were about to say, right?
S-Similar.
Yes, it was exactly the sameshe wanted to reply like this, but she complained inwardly instead. What he said to her several times back then while stuttering was Youll marry me anyway, so wake up.
Its not like that.
If only her complaints were only that much.
She just wanted to grow old. Or die. No she just didnt want to be in this place anymore. She was tired of it all. The same conversations, the same responses even after 100 times! Even the stuttering.
Swallowing a desperate scream, Carynne mimicked a 17-year-old girl who was moderately pouty. As he admired her beauty a little, the 25-year-old Dullan stopped being sarcastic. Dullan thought that Carynne was being immature, and he was right.
About a century ago. Maybe even now. Carynne was already 117 years old, but there was no one who treated her as such, so she didnt find the need to act according to her age either.
Carynne, the redheaded beauty with purple eyes who lived forever.
The orchestra began playing.
t/n: hello there~ im yonnee, the translator for this series. just want to say how much i absolutely adore this novel because its so different from the usual shoujo/josei transmigration and regression novels out there, and all the blood and murder in this one is really up my alley~
resetting lady is officially tagged as R15 on kakaopage, but ive read some comments and reviews online saying that it may as well have been tagged as R19 because of the heavy subject matters it deals with. nothing too explicit, but it could get too rough later on, so consider yourself warned!
i hope you enjoy reading about carynnes journey as much as i do!
side note: our protagonists name is canonically carron (based on an arc/chapter title in the novel) or karen (based on the second cover by laphet on kkp) but i personally like the look of carynne on the page more, so i went with that.