Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

content warning: mentions of war and carynnes callous thoughts on the matter. given the state of current events, i thought i should mention it here first.

Do call me Carynne. I rarely go by the name Catherineits awkward. Thats my mothers middle name.

Okay.

Watching him act more familiarly with her, Carynne smiled reluctantly and looked out the window.

Raymond was the kind of person who would treat someone else casually right away. While thinking of how she had fallen so foolishly in love with him before, she stiffened up. It was Raymond, this remarkably chatty guy. He was someone who was in no such position to be that waysomeone who had no need to make jokes at his own expense.

The weather is nice, Raymond noted.

Carynne set aside the scope covering her eyes as she looked at Raymond, the one tainted with her previous memories of him. The topic he brought up just now, 7 points.

Looking down at Raymonds clothes, she saw that he was wearing a deep navy hunting outfit, the top and trousers matching nicely. She wondered who picked that for him.

It seems so. Do you like the summer, Sir Knight?

I like all the seasons except the winter.

Winter at the White Mountains is quite harsh, I believe.

It was terribly cold.

She recalled a distant past, them both lying in bed together, when Raymond once confided in her with a hushed voice.

At one point, I wanted to cut my fingers off. Everywhere I looked, I could only see the white expanse. I thought that it might be better if I bled.

He said so as he lifted a lock of Carynnes bright red hair, giving it a kiss.

I truly love the color of your hair.

You know about it very well, Lady.

* * *

Women should have someplace else they could go. We just sit inside the house and either listen to others with strained ears or read books.

Carynne shrugged.

These are dangerous times. Its better to stay cooped in a safe place.

It was a dangerous time to live. Even now, wars were still being waged in the countries beyond the White Mountains, but this country they were living in had nothing to do with that war. Rather, Carynne wondered if she could soothe her boredom more if shed get caught up in the war despite being far away from it. If shed say these thoughts aloud, Raymond would surely be angered.

In the end, it was someone elses business. It had nothing to do with her since it was so far away.

During an afternoon like this, she was supposed to be embroidering, watching the dust dancing in the air that looked like golden specks beneath the sunlight. She didnt care about the people who were suffering beyond that mountain range. Whatever those peoples names were or however their faces looked like, right now, they were all nothing but entertainment for her. Whether this entertainment came in the form of comedy or tragedy, they both weighed the same in the end.

Wont the kitchen be more dangerous for him?

When Carynne giggled, Raymond turned his gaze slightly to the side. At the end of his gaze was that boy.

Staring out the window of the carriage, Raymond spoke once more.

I do not know what kind of work hell do in your household, but boys are bound to grow stronger at a fast rate. He will be stronger than you in just four years.

Hell die in a month though. It doesnt matter.

If someone is destined to die, shouldnt there be a cause for that death? Thank you for the good will that youve expressed, however I do not wish to reverse a decision I already made, and so quickly as well. Lets stop talking about this, Sir Raymond.

Carynne cut off the conversation right there, glancing sideways to gauge Raymonds reaction. Fortunately, he didnt seem offended. As she safely played the role of a good-natured young lady, Carynne let out a small exhale.

This reminded her of a similar conversation. Tom worked as an odd-jobs boy or a dishwasher several times before in past iterations. Whenever that happened, Raymond would always tell her not to do anything unnecessarybut unlike the words he spoke, he would admire Carynne for her kind-heartedness.

Its because, on the battlefield, theres no one I can trust.

Thats why you have to look forward to it even more.

She remembered the slight melancholy that could be seen on his face.

Peoples good will, their forgiveness and anything like it. You must look forward to them even more. If its possible to forgive the enemy, shouldnt it be the same with comrades? Even love is possible, perhaps.

It was what he desperately longed for. And Carynne was enough for the role he yearned. A beautiful girl who always forgives, always loves, always warmly faces him. Nevertheless, a woman who was of decent rank, but still in a position that needed his help.

I will remember you in the next life.

You cant. Its already the th time with you.

Is there something on my face?

Im just looking at you because youre handsome.

I see.

It was futile.

Even though she matched as he wanted, he never gave her the answer she wished to hear. Not in life, not in death. In the past, she thought that this man would save heras if he was the very sun that rose high above the deep ocean, she looked towards Raymond in such a way.

But the one who will save Carynne wasnt Raymond. The sun was just that. The sun. Time moved forward. The sun would rise, the sun would set. It did not even move through the help of a gods carriage, and neither was it a deitys eye.

The sun just produced light and heat, and that very light was too far away to reach for a creature living in the deepest parts of the sea.

Nevertheless, this time again, Carynne will play the role he wants out of her. And to give him the gift of death.

Were almost there.

It seems so.

While getting off the carriage, Carynne almost fell this time while trying not to step on Tom. Feeling Raymonds gaze on her, she hoped that her actions could somehow cover up those doubts he had about her. And, with years of experience, she was convinced that he was already attracted to her.

After that, it was a trivial matter to receive the piercing gaze of Isella, who arrived on horseback while her eyes were swollen. At this point, Raymond cared little about her already.