Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Why did you clean up the body?

Why did you steal the truth from me? Do you even know what this means to me?

Tears welled up in her anger. This act was no different from taking away the truth from her like this, letting her madness and irrationality eat away at her. This was neither love nor protection.

Wouldnt it have been difficult for you if things grew out of hand? The childs happiness is the parents happiness as well. All Catherine and I wish for you is happiness.

If you wish for my, my happiness.

Her voice was hoarse. Carynne hated the middle-aged man in front of her. This stance of his of not telling her the honest truth, this conduct of cleaning up her mess without telling her anything. It was all disgustingly terrible.

Why didnt you grab me by the shoulders and tell me thisYoure crazy.

What should I do to satisfy you?

If I killed someone, you should have told me that Im not supposed to do that, right? You should have thrown me in jail. You should have let me be tried in court and gave me the death penalty.

What kind of happiness could you attain in prison? You havent even started your life yet. Youve yet to meet a man, get married and have your own children.

She was so utterly speechless that she wanted to stomp her feet.

If my insanity is hereditary, then it must have been from you, Father.

At those words, the fief lord abashedly shrugged his shoulders. And then his answer was just absurd.

You resemble your mother more than me.

Do you even know what on earth youre saying right now? My mother and father ruined my life. At the very least I should know how to think for myself, but no. I cant even believe anything I see, hear or feel right now. Its not about trusting you or not, neither is it about you loving me. What youre doing is nothing short of a sledgehammer right to my head to erase my memories just to give me what you claim is a stable life.

Marriage, love. What the hell kind of dream was that.

Between putting someone to sleep through medications and with this so-called peaceful life, whats the difference?

Those things have no importance to me right now.

Theyre important.

The fief lord asserted this.

Theyre very important, Carynne.

Look here, Mister Fief Lord.

If it was like this, then there was no need to continue this conversation. Carynne tightened her grip on the fief lords hand. She had just gotten her nails done. His hand gained a few red marks, but that was all.

What is it?

I should be angry. But I cant even do that properly either, Im too baffled. Ha Fine, do as you please. Im going to keep killing people, so if you want to stop me, then try it. And if I mess up, Ill just go to Sir Raymond and turn myself in.

I wont let you.

Lock me up then. Stop me. Tie my arms and legs, find another hypnotist to replace Nancy. This time, I want you to tell me an even more beautiful story than this fantasy where Ive fallen into a book and have been dying over and over again for one hundred years. It might be fun to find myself waking up in the emperors bedroom and become a sex slave, or even go further back in history where I can try to change the world.

Carynne tried to be as sarcastic as she could. She would not be able to see any grief from her father. And he wasnt going to fight with her about this.

And he covered his eyes with his hands.

Catherine loved you so very much. And she was just like you.

Then I must have inherited this insanity from Mom.

Dont be sarcastic when talking about Catherine. She, your mother

The fief lord found it difficult to continue speaking. His emotions surged up. He took a moment to breathe, and then he spoke once more.

She used to talk just like you. The world is like a novel to her. And she said that shes older than how she looked.

Carynne stopped breathing.

And you, too She said that you will live the same life she lived.

So what youre saying is that Catherinemy mother has the same symptoms that I have?

Yes.

Are you certain?

Hearing the suspicion in Carynnes voice, an offended look swept through the fief lords expression without holding back.

Thats what my wife said. How can you doubt her words.

Dont tell me. My fathers not an imbecile, is he?

Carynne spun a wily imagination inwardly. If it was like the life Carynne had experienced thus far, her mother, Catherine, wouldnt have turned up dead had there not been any conflict caused by her father. They always just had that only that much relevance.

But what he said just now, that its not just Carynne. That was something she could never ignore.

I dont exactly know the details of it. And in the end, its just something that youd tend to doubt. Id rather that its just But shes right. To start from the beginning and forget everything.

Missus Catherine.

Mother.

In the midst of it all, the fief lord still corrected her words. She had to hold it in because she was about to spit out words that she couldnt even describe. She wondered if the fief lord had always been this kind of person.

Yes, my mother.

She glanced sideways and looked at the portrait. How great would it have been if the person that was here before her wasnt the fief lord, but her. Carynne couldnt help but sigh.

Why was it that the one whos left living was this fief lord who was an outsider to all this? If what hes saying was right, then wasnt it that the only person in this entire world who could understand Carynne was her dead mother?

Do you have any proof that she lived a repeated life like me?

So, in the end, youre still doubting it.

Arent you the living proof of it?