Chapter 104
What do I do?
What do I do?
How am I supposed to live?
Would it be easier if I just died along with my parents?
Inside a confessional booth, Raymond asked the priest who was his relative. The priest then answered, clutching the hem of Raymonds sleeve.
God puts the people he loves up to a test. You should not doubt His love.
So God gave me such a test because He loves me?
What He plans for us is so very profound that its sometimes difficult for people to understand.
The priests words could not reach Raymond. However, Raymond did not lash out at the priest. He was too young to tell an adult about the injustices of life.
Still, he felt a sense of frustration, so he asked.
Is that also the same answer He has given to other people?
Yes. The test that God provides is truly, very hard. We can only beg that He does not put us to trial, or that He gives us a test that we can handle.
Then, my parents couldnt bear the test?
He thought of his own parents. Raymond remained unconvinced. Still, the priest quickly denied Raymonds suspicions. He needed to say something appropriate to the child. He needed to soothe and comfort him.
No, thats not it. Its just that, good people come back to Gods embrace quickly. There are many things theyll be doing in heaven.
Then people who are still alive arent good? Are you and I still suffering because we are sinners?
The priest looked terribly distressed. If Raymond was a little older than he was now, he wouldnt bother this sincere, countryside priest who was his relative.
However, Raymond was young, and he was suffocating in his own pain.
Rather than being tested like this, if I was buried with my parents, wouldnt all the pain go away?
Raymond!
Why, whats wrong?
Dont say that. Being alive is a blessing. And it cannot be right to think of death. Dont ever say that in front of me ever again. Your life has been given to you by the Lord, but if you regard it carelessly, you will be sent to hell.
Why was it a sin for a living person to think of death? It was so, so hard to continue living, but why was it a sin to want to go back to His Arms? Why was it a sin to be together again with his loved ones, who went before him?
Questions poured one after another, but Raymond could no longer speak about the dead.
Because the priest looked even more distressed now.
So, Raymond asked something thats easier to hear.
How can I get along with my older brother?
This question allowed the priests expression to lighten up a little.
Yes, I suppose so. Right now He looks very much like the late former baron.
Looking carefully at Raymonds chin, Verdic grabbed the boy by the shoulder.
Hes quite tall for his age, and it seems like hell grow even taller. Thats good.
What are you doing right now?
Raymond struck Verdics hand. Its unpleasant. It was not polite for anyone to be this close, especially when its your first meeting. Besides that, the mans attitude right now wasnt indicative of familiarity or anything.
A commodity.
Thats how Verdics eyes were looking at him, like choosing a cow or a sheep.
How unpleasant. Why are you being like this to me?
When Raymond protested, the baron growled.
Raymond. Be polite in front of Mister Verdic.
His remark showed more consideration towards Verdic.
Haha, dont be so harsh on him. Isnt he still young? And family members need to get along well with each other.
Why was this stranger trying to interfere in their family affairs? Who was this stranger who was casually spewing such words that their relatives would also cautiously utter?
But Raymond couldnt speak hastily here. Those two men were conversing without any concern towards Raymonds presence here.
If this doesnt please you, then Ill fix his attitude.
No, no. Its fine, but I do think that educating him would be necessary.
Ill keep that in mind.
Very well. Hm.
Then, Verdic stared at Raymond with a slightly strained smile. The baron turned to look at Raymond as well.
Mister Verdic Evans. You and Brother, what are you both talking about?
He has a slightly confrontational disposition.
I apologize about that, Mister Verdic. Raymond, leave the room. The adults need to talk.
No, Baron, its alright. Hell need to hold fast to that masculine aspect of his, too.
Witnessing how that man continued to speak of him without care for his presence here, Raymond stood up. Because the baron clenched his hands into fists.
When Raymond rose to his feet, he saw Verdics greasy hair. And he finally figured out why he thought he had seen him before, when in fact, they had never met before this day.
This man looked very much like an ordinary nobleman. As though desperately dressing himself up as one.
Verdic left their residence only after a long time had passed. And as soon as that man left, Raymond quickly knocked on the door of the barons office. His fear of the baron was set aside for the curiosity he was feeling now.
More importantly, they had been talking about him.
Marriage? Me?
I also got engaged when I was around your age. Even though that engagement got broken off because of my depreciated value. Isnt it nice, Raymond? Youre going to be a rich familys son-in-law now. You might not be aware because youre still young, but the Evans family is extremely well off. Good for you.