Chapter 205： The unknown side

Chapter 205 The unknown side

But the money had already been settled, so Si Ningning didn’t think much about it.

Picking up the snakeskin bag and the things on the counter, and thanking her again, Si Ningning turned around to join Xu Shuhua and the others.

They bumped into male educated youths on the road first. Li Lingyuan and Song Shuhan each held winter melons and pumpkins, while Mo Bei was the only one with nothing.

Ever since, it seemed logical for Mo Bei to take over the snakeskin bag from Si Ningning.

Coming out of the department store, Jiang Yue was thinking about buying a table and asked Si Ningning to take her to the scrap station.

Si Ningning has changed her face. After a round of detours and coming to the scrapyard again, Old Man Cheng will naturally not recognize her.

There were a lot of educated youths entering the scrapyard. Old Man Cheng was afraid that too many people would lead to fishing in troubled waters, so he followed the educated youths and glanced at them from time to time.

Si Ningning, whose legs were very sore from running all morning, said hello to Old Man Cheng and sat on the rocking chair at the door to wait.

Not to mention, the rocking chair rocks back and forth, and the cattail leaf fan is shaken from time to time, which is very comfortable.

Si Ningning sank into the rocking chair and swayed on her tiptoes. The sky outside the door was too dazzling. Si Ningning covered her face with a cattail leaf fan. She had only been comfortable for two minutes when footsteps suddenly came from her side.

At first, I thought it was Old Man Cheng coming over, but when I opened the corner of the cattail leaf fan, I realized it was Mo Bei.

…”

They looked at each other and were silent for a long time. Si Ningning was defeated first and sat up straight, "What's wrong?"

"They still need to wait for a while, don't you go to the post office?" Mo Bei asked.

"Forehead…"

Why does it involve the post office again?

Si Ningning was a little confused, and then heard Mo Bei's cold voice continue: "I...I will accompany you. If there is a package, I will help you get it."

Before Si Ningning could say anything, Jiang Yue, who was closest to them, turned around first and said, "Si Ningning, go ahead! Don't worry about us!"

Si Ningning didn’t go to the post office in the morning because there was no letter to send. But the current situation is that I have to go home after shopping soon.

I don’t know if there are any packages at the post office, but I should take a look anyway. If there is one, wouldn’t I miss it if I don’t go?

Si Ningning can understand everyone's thoughts.

Her little face wrinkled, and under the gazes of Mo Bei and Jiang Yue, she could only answer bravely, "Okay, put that thing here first, let's go take a look, and we'll be back soon."

"Um!"

Si Ningning knew the general area of ​​the post office, but she had never been there even once.

Following Mo Bei to the post office, Si Ningning's main thought was that as long as her stepmother and stepsister were around, she would never receive letters or packages from the Si family.

But in fact, as soon as Si Ningning handed her household registration page into the window, the staff said there was a letter from her, which was from Beijing.

Si Ningning was stunned for a moment in disbelief.

Do you really have a letter from her?

Si Ningning waited for about two minutes before getting the letter.

Holding the envelope and walking outside, Si Ningning looked at the familiar handwriting on the brown paper envelope. Some fragmentary memories emerged like a flood. The memories of the two worlds were intertwined, including hers and the original person's.

At that moment, the surrounding scenery and noisy sounds suddenly faded away, and then what appeared in front of me was the cold and disgusted eyes of my father who was wearing a suit and leather shoes, and a man in linen clothes, pinching and beating his body. year women.

Si Ningning couldn't tell whether it was her emotion or the emotion of her former self. She only felt that for a brief moment, it was as if a big hand was clutching her heart tightly, making her breathless.

The cold or vicious eyes were like nails, driving hard into the nerves of her brain, and her head seemed to have turned into a gong in an instant, making a buzzing sound after being hit.

Si Ningning's face turned pale, a layer of cold sweat appeared on his forehead, his steps were weak, and he couldn't stand and his feet became weak.

"What's wrong with you?" Mo Bei realized something was wrong and grabbed Si Ningning's wrist in time to prevent her from falling, "Si Ningning?"

At first, he thought Si Ningning was tripped, but it wasn't until he saw her ugly face and the beads of sweat on her forehead that Mo Bei realized something was wrong, "What's going on? What's wrong with you?"

Although he spoke very little and seemed calm, he was actually very restless.

Si Ningning's thoughts were sometimes clear and sometimes blurry. She held on to the hem of Mo Bei's clothes with a bit of consciousness, and said with a slight tremor that she was not aware of: "I, I'm fine... It's too hot, I just need to sit down."

Mo Bei looked at Si Ningning's hand that grabbed a corner of his shirt. Veins bulged on the back of his fair hand, and his rounded nails and knuckles were filled with a dazzling white color due to the strong force.

“I’ll take you to a shady place to sit.”

Mo Bei frowned silently and took Si Ningning to a shady corner.

But he couldn't help but have some doubts in his heart.

real…

Is it just because of the hot weather?

Really, are you okay?

of course not.

Those memories that had been sealed away in the depths by Si Ningning surged up together with the memories of Si Ningning in the 1970s. The seemingly healed scars were once again vigorously uncovered, and a heart was blurred with blood and dripping with blood...

Such indifference, disgust, and condescending eyes, like looking at a bug, repeatedly penetrated Si Ningning's heart.

A kind of gloom, pain, resentment, humiliation and extreme grievance enveloped his whole body. Si Ningning bit her lower lip with her teeth and slowly squatted down.

—Daddy, daddy, it’s Ningning’s fifth birthday! I want daddy to hug me, daddy...

—Go away! Butler, take her away!

Hateful scolding at the age of five.

The nine-year-old's big hands pushed her away.

The high-end leather shoes that crushed cakes when I was twelve years old.

Still fifteen years old, slaps on the face and cold eyes every time...

No matter how good you are, you will still be disliked. She has stopped looking forward to it a long time ago! She has stopped looking forward to it a long time ago!

But…

Si Ningning may be tough, kind, or optimistic, but she is human.

As a person, there will be weaknesses. Family ties and family are her weaknesses.

Her experience is very similar to that of Si Ningning in the 1970s, which invisibly amplified the complex feelings in her heart several times.

Si Ningning's eyes were sore and swollen, and tears fell to the ground like raindrops. There was a surge of hatred in his heart, and he was completely dominated by emotions.

She hates them!

Whether it is Si Zhennan in the 1970s or Si Fu in the 21st century. Si Ningning hated them.

Hate them for not raising children, hate their cold-bloodedness...

Since you hate her, since you hate her, since you hate her and don't like her, then why give birth to her?

Si Ningning clenched her hands into fists, her nails deeply embedded in her flesh.

She will not forgive them.

Never, never!

I made a decision in my heart, but the memories in my mind were still rolling over.

Si Ningning’s lower lip was bitten until it turned white and bled, and the strong hatred in her chest made her whole body tremble.

However, just as she was remembering more and more painful memories and sinking deeper and deeper, Si Ningning's shoulders were suddenly held by someone, and someone was shaking her hard:

“Si Ningning, Si Ningning!”

Si Ningning seemed to be under the dark ice, and the sound of dripping springs from the mountain stream came into her ears. At that moment, it was as if someone broke through the ice and tried to pull her back from the desperate situation. Reality.

But, who is it?

With tears blurring her eyes, Si Ningning knew she should calm down and calm down, but the grievances and unwillingness in her heart wore away her rationality inch by inch, leaving her no time to think about it.

"No matter how hard I work and how good I become, dad, dad will never love me or even look at me twice!"

“I don’t want him to love me anymore!”

“I don’t want to be abandoned again!”

Because I know I won’t be loved, I don’t ask for anything extravagantly.

If you don’t ask for extravagance, you won’t be abandoned.

Si Ningning covered her face with her hands, tears seeping from the gaps between her fingertips.

She was crying about her father's indifference and her own grievance and pain, but her voice was thin and broken, and every word was like a knife. Ling Chi's conflicting heart pierced Mo Bei's heart even more.

Mo Bei couldn't imagine what Si Ningning had gone through, but the desire to be good to Si Ningning and to see Si Ningning smile had never been as strong as at this moment, and more like a prairie fire. , intensifying.

"The sun is scorching hot in summer, but there will also be rainy days, but so what? The sun won't always be there, but it will always be there." Mo Bei tightened his fist, clasped Si Ningning's wrist, and covered her face with her hand Pulling away, guiding her to look at him, "Love...so does the person who values ​​you."

Rubbing the long-lashed teardrops from the corners of Si Ningning's eyes with his thumb, Mo Bei's cold eyes flashed with complexity, and then slowly became gentle, "Maybe not everyone values ​​you and loves you, but there will always be people who value you and hold you in their arms. The palm of your hand is brought into the first place.”

“You are a warm little sun. Everyone in the educated youth area needs you. Everyone places you in an important position. More people will recognize you in the future.”

The man who has always been cold and indifferent comforted the tearful girl in a clumsy, literary and conservative way: "It doesn't matter if you get a **** on the head from time to time. Forget about those bad things."

Si Ningning's eyes were red and she shook her head in frustration, "Except for grandma, no one will really like me. Even if they show they like me, it's because all they see is the appearance. If it's the real me..."

Si Ningning didn’t say any more.

Shady, sensitive, low self-esteem, negative energy, who would like such a person?

The flaws deep inside her heart have destroyed Si Ningning's usual bright and confident self. At this moment, she is not only sensitive, but also immersed in deep self-doubt.

“Why doesn’t anyone like you? I just…”

Mo Bei interrupted Si Ningning to continue thinking. Halfway through his words, his starry eyes flickered and he changed the subject: "Everyone likes you. Can't you see? Everyone will ask for your opinion every time something happens. You are very important, far more important than you." It’s much more important to imagine.”

As if to comfort Si Ningning, and as if to tell himself, "You are very important," Mo Bei bit down particularly hard.

Si Ningning was very emotional, and her forehead was covered with fine sweat. Mo Bei put his palms together to fan her, and continued to guide her in a gentle voice: "You are very smart and know how to adjust your emotions, right?"

Mo Bei actually had some speculation in his mind.

Si Ningning suddenly became so sensitive and fragile, all because of the letter she just received.

And the sentence "No matter how good I become, my father will never love me" is enough to explain the identity of the sender.

For some reason, Mo Bei suddenly remembered a scene he happened to see a long time ago, probably when he first went to the countryside. At that time, Si Ningning rolled up his sleeves, and his slender arms were covered with scars and bruises...

is the mark of being beaten.

Thinking of a certain possibility, Mo Bei lowered his eyelids, and his gentle eyes a second ago turned gloomy. Even so, he still tried to control his tone and gently comforted Si Ningning: "Now that we are out of there, don't think about it anymore. , we always live in the present.”

Those who love you will love you forever.

Those who are willing to accompany you will always be with you.

Those who don’t love you or despise you, let alone those who don’t care about you.

With Qing Lang's gentle comfort, Si Ningning gradually calmed down. She looked at Mo Bei with red eyes, as if confirming something. After a long time, she lowered her eyes, nodded hesitantly and said "hmm" in a dull voice.

"Be good." Mo Bei's heart suddenly relaxed, his starry eyes slightly curved in reward, and he gently rubbed the top of Si Ningning's hair, "Are you thirsty?"

You must be tired after crying for so long.

Si Ningning shook her head slowly. After just a moment, she opened and closed her lips and spoke in a low voice: "The tears have dried and my face feels uncomfortable..."

Si Ningning had calmed down. Thinking of her crying behavior in the street and what she had just said, she lowered her eyes in embarrassment and unnaturally avoided Mo Bei's gaze.

"I have brought some water, and I will pour it over to you. You can wash your face first."

Pulling Si Ningning to squat on the edge of the steps on the side of the post office, Mo Bei unscrewed the lid of the kettle and poured water out. When Si Ningning washed his face, he freed his hands to fumble in his pockets, and before Si Ningning wiped his face with his sleeves, he put the handkerchief The child was handed over.

Si Ningning looked at the light blue handkerchief handed to her and was stunned for a moment, but did not accept it.

Mo Beishou handed it forward again, "Yeah."

Si Ningning took the handkerchief. The texture of the handkerchief was not very good, but the color was fresh and clean. When it was put on her face, she could faintly smell the faint fragrance of soap locust.

Si Ningning wiped off the water on his face hastily, and looked at the handkerchief that gradually turned mottled dark blue due to the water stains. Si Ningning quickly took back the hand that he returned and said, "Thank you, I, I'll wash it off and give it back to you!"

The tears and runny nose were all the fault of Mi Tai, and Si Ningning was really embarrassed to give them back.

It was a trivial matter. Mo Bei originally wanted to say no, but seeing Si Ningning's serious expression, he acquiesced.

General Mo Beizhong put a water bottle on his body, and his cold tone revealed a gentle and pious charm: "Have a rest, are we going back?"

"Hmm." Si Ningning nodded and said "Hmm". After taking a few steps, her slender brows wrinkled, "I just thought of something bad, so..."

After hesitating again and again, Si Ningning opened and closed her lips and lowered her voice and begged: "Can you not tell others?"

Si Ningning herself didn’t want to recall those things, let alone others knowing about them.

If possible, she even hoped that Mo Bei could forget it immediately.

"What did you tell others? That you missed home so much that you cried?" Mo Bei pretended not to know what happened just now, "Don't worry, everyone is homesick, and they cry much harder than you."

This was half true and half false, but Si Ningning understood that Mo Bei was speaking in the same tone as her.

(End of this chapter)