CH 8

The rain passed eventually. It wasn’t until the clouds cleared up that we were able to walk again toward the villa. We arrived at the villa after a long climb up an uphill road.

I didn’t know how long it had been but the villa was as quiet as deep into the night. Chairman Jang usually slept early so most of the workers either left work or went to their respective rooms. In the dark interior of the villa, only a few small lights were dimly lit. I went inside, thinking that it was a relief that it wasn’t that bright.

“Wash up quickly and then come down.”

Jang Yoonsung whispered quietly and pushed my back. As we walked up the street earlier, I couldn’t say I was hungry. Since I ate only one ice cream and exhausted myself all evening, I couldn’t help but feel hungry.

Even though it was hard to move with heavily wetted steps, we made meal plans with the food available at the villa’s refrigerator, on the way back. Since we suffered together long enough, as if we became close, I made an OK sign by circling my fingers. Jang Yoonsung’s room was on the first floor so I went up the stairs alone.

I looked terrible under the bright light. It was a relief that we were in a neighborhood where it’s barely bright. There were many things, a person who was hiding something should be cautious of. Whether it was bright lights, words that could slip up easily, and above all, people like Jang Yoonsung.

As per our promise, I should have washed up quickly and gone down, but as Jang Yoonsung claimed, being a fake wasn’t an easy feat. There were many things to wear, and the long wig didn’t dry that easily. It was storming inside my stomach with hunger, while the dryer blow-dried the wig. As it happened, a trivial greediness pieced my head.

Since he already found out that I was a fake, how about I tell him I am a man?

It was because we grew a little close…and even though it was for a short while, we suffered together and we did become caring towards each other at the end of it. On the way back, Jang Yoonsung surely became like that.

My feet were hurting as it slipped because of my wet sandals. I limped my way up, and Jang Yoonsung soon rested the bicycle he was dragging and sat with his back down. He meant for me to climb onto his back. I refused because I wanted to protect my boss’ son’s waist and my identity.

was different from his first impression. Would he do that with anyone, or… Before I knew it, my eyes went to the end of the thin strands of the pretty wig.

“Would ramyeon be okay?”

Jang Yoonsung was boiling some water in the kitchen when I rushed down the stairs. At the sound of ramyeon, I remembered Jang Yoonsung’s awkward face when he gobbled the ice cream and as soon as the latter noticed me, he grumbled.

“Why, didn’t you ever see someone cooking ramyeon before? The fake this time is severely biased.”

There was definitely a bias. A person who was raised in that kind of house, who had fair skin and spoke English well and never had an instance of having an ice pop. Also, if that person didn’t have a personality like Jang Myeongsoo, wouldn’t he be akin to Jang Yoonsiung at least? Like his father, Jang Yoonsung would be heartless enough to solely think about profits, or he would be soft enough to pity people easily. He would harbor that shallow sympathy without knowing its consequences.

Even elementary students could cook ramyeon once they learned to spell it. As Jang Yoonsung, I was an example of prejudice.

“Whenever someone came with the name of Han Jiyoung, did you call them fake?”

I didn’t refuse him to cook ramyeon for me. It was a question that suddenly popped in my head as I took my seat at the dining table. Jang Yoonsung with familiar actions took a moment to tear off the ramyeon bag. It seemed he cooked ramyeon before.

“Well, I did. But you said you weren’t totally fake. What kind of relationship did you have with her?”

“She was a friend who lived with us in the same neighborhood.”

I explained in a roundabout way rather than just saying that she was my next-door neighbor. It was Jang Myeongsoo’s condition not to slip any information about me and it was reasonable. A person who knew Han Jiyoung had passed away, there was no reason to let him know that she lived next door. Jang Yoonsung wouldn’t really take advantage of what I have said, but it would be better to follow through on what I had been already doing. Actually, Jang Yoonsung was the one who chased me from overseas because he got to know that Jang Myeongsoo and I were satisfied with what we were doing.

“Were you close?”

“Yeah.”

“You could even sell your close friend’s name in a scam, should I say it’s something amazing?”

Jang Yoonsung said sarcastically.

“It’s something I have been doing for a long time.”

Besides, my family was my first priority rather than my shame. It was clear that a young heir who would never have any regret because of his lifestyle, wouldn’t understand.

Jang Yoonsung looked at the noodles impassively and nodded as if he had been listening.

“Sure. Do you want an egg with this?”

“Hm. But don’t scramble it.”

“Of course.”

Jang Yoonsung carefully cracked the eggs as if he was worried about the yolk and white mixing up. The boiled appearance of the noodles was like the one Gunwoo made. Bringing the whole pot of the ramyeon to the dinner table, we devoured it like ordinary friends. Since I was hungry and a little cold, I gobbled up the warm ramyeon well.

We, two young men, who were very hungry, even had some servings of rice and patted our filled-up bellies. Drowsiness possessed us. Jang Yoonsung, tired, slipped off the chair and laughed as if he was dumbfounded. It wasn’t a bad night.

After a few more boring conversations, we went back to our respective rooms. I wanted to fall unconscious on the bed right away but there was a routine I couldn’t skip.

I took out an old phone from the drawer next to the bed and turned it on. A text came in as if it had been waiting. Since I spent most of my school days in daydreams, I didn’t have many friends to exchange boring formalities with. It was a text message from Gunwoo.

[Today Mom and I went to the hospital]

There was no explanation added to those brief words. If there was good news, there would be no reason to hide it. It was not midnight yet, and Gunwoo was a model student who studied until late.

When I pressed the call button, after a few rings, Gunwoo answered the call.

– Hello.

“It’s hyung. What did they say at the hospital?”

– You know…just.

Another voice was heard behind the hesitating voice of the younger brother.

– Is that Hakyung? How is he?

– Yeah, Do you want to talk to him?

– No, you can ask him.

When I accepted Jang Myeongsoo’s suggestion and left home, I said I would be living in a dorm provided by my workplace. My mother felt apologetic that she got sick for no reason and ended up sending his son away. But I was more sorry to see my mother in such a state. It was because I was the one who was in a comfortable place.

“Tell mom that I am doing well. It’s really great here and the work is comfortable too.”

-Hm. When are you coming back?

Gunwoo seemed to have something to say to me but since my mother was listening, he couldn‘t say it.

“Soon. I might come sooner than I think.”

I answered while looking at the two carriers at the corner of the room. I packed up so I could leave any time. I didn’t know when Jang Yoonsung would change his mind. It would be inconvenient to pack and unpack all over again. It was also mentally difficult to have repeated hopes and despair every time.

-….

Gunwoo didn’t answer that he understood but held the phone.

“Is mom saying she doesn’t want to take her medicines?”

-Yeah.

I asked whether it was what Gunwoo was worrying about the last time I called him, and as if it was the correct answer, an affirmation came. The medicines at the hospital were ridiculously expensive/ It was an amount that we couldn’t afford no matter how much support we could gather from different places. However, having those medicines didn’t guarantee that they would work. When my mother heard that, she had an expression that she had already given up halfway.

We already had a similar experience before. Our father was bedridden for a long time because of an accident and the accumulated hospital bills had become debt. Sometimes my mother would blame him and say, if my father had left the world quickly, it would have been less difficult on the kids. So mother could not help but wonder what would happen if she happened to leave.

“Gunwoo, don’t worry about money and go to the hospital, tell them to do whatever they can. I’m not here for nothing. I can gather the money.”

-Sorry, hyung.

“What are you sorry for? You are doing well.”

Both Gunwoo and Mother always have lived humbly, so why was it happening to them? I told Gunwoo to study moderately as I looked at the clock and hung up the phone. I threw my wig and rested my head on the pillow.

Was being that comfortable a stupid thing to do? In fact, it might be wiser to leave that place and find another job.

But that thought was far-fetched. There were many things to worry about but I still fell asleep. The next day, fever dawned upon me like a guilty conscience.

No matter how I lay down, I felt sick. I didn’t think I would be that sick from the rain. In that case, it would have been more effective to visit the hospital and receive an injection than to put up with it foolishly. However, I was in no position to do so. The people there at the villa were so kind that they wouldn’t send a person on the verge of dying from sickness to the hospital alone. Especially the young master who had to be nice to women who were on death bed. In conclusion, it would only be natural for my identity to be revealed.

I told the helper lady who came to notify me about breakfast that I would sleep until the afternoon because I was tired. I was going to take a nap and then look for some medicine. But as time went by, my condition became worse. I barely fell asleep and woke up every few minutes. Sweat rolled down my skin and my eyes felt hot. I roughly swiped my bangs and tried to sleep again.

Knock Knock

Someone knocked on the door. I didn’t answer because I thought they would leave if there was no reply but a voice came from the other side of the door.

“The sun came up and you are still sleeping? You are not even having your meals.”

Was it strange to starve two times a day? Are you going to pretend that just because we spent some time suffering together and ate some ramyeon, we are suddenly close? Hoping that he would leave, I pulled the blanket under my skin and sighed a warm breath.

“Hey, fake. Open the door.”

Jang Yoonsung knocked on the door again and urged. I was lying down with the door locked because I didn’t have the energy to adorn the wig. I wanted to tell him to leave because he was annoying me but my throat was so dry it couldn’t make a sound.

In between huffs and puffs, I gave up answering and covered myself with the blanket. Just leave, please.

Knock Knock

“Are you okay? Just say something. Then I’ll leave.”

Hearing how he would leave if I said something, I managed to construct some words.

“I’m fi..fine.”

“What do you mean you are fine? Open the door, please. I need to see how you are.”

The wooden door seemed to rattle at how hard the doorknob was turned. I was overcome with anxiety as the door was about to be opened.

Wig, where was the wig? I found a pile of hair on the floor in the midst of my confusion. I tried to reach out with my hand, but because I exerted too much on myself, my body rolled down to the floor.

It was no wonder that at that sound, that body person outside the door was startled. There, I heard the urgent search for the door key.

Oh, I am awfully unlucky. I faltered and picked up the wig. The buzz outside was louder by then. When I finally fixed the wig on my head and was sprawled on the floor, Jang Yoonsung opened the door.

“Hey!”

Jang Yoonsung dashed toward me and grabbed my shoulder. I shook his hand off because the touch was so sudden I was scared.

“Don’t touch me!”

I was in such a desperate position to wear a wig even when I was running a fever and had a cold sweat. I was already disappointed that I wasn’t able to visit the hospital and only had to lie down on the bed, but I hated Jang Yoonsung even more because he was the one who made me crawl on the floor and wear the wig. If he hadn’t come, I would have brought up the talk of money with Jang Myeongsoo. How much could I get in advance? I just wanted to live humbly like Mom and Gunwoo.

Jang Yoonsung reached out and touched my forehead.

“Let’s go to the hospital.”

Then he asked the helper lady who came along with him to bring the car key from his room. I shrugged off his hand and curled up stubbornly.

“I’m not going. I said I‘m not going. I feel like dying so why are you bullying me?”

I was out of my mind from the fever. Without thinking, I murmured whatever came to my mind.

“When did I…”

Jang Yoonsung tried to retort that he was falsely accused but as soon as he closed his mouth, he spoke up again.

“Okay. I got it so let’s go to the hospital and then have a talk.”

“I said I’m not going. If I do, all of my life I would really…”

The word, resentment, was so small and I didn’t know whether Jang Yoonsung heard it. He then watched me insist and asked the helper who brought the car key to call someone.

I don’t remember what Jang Yoonsung said to me that time, but I gently climbed on the bed and tucked myself under the blanket while repeating that he should not touch me. Like my head would burst, it was blurry in my right eye. Nevertheless, I tried to stay awake because I was worried that someone would see my body when I would be asleep so I went muttering under my breath endlessly.

It was only after Jang Yoonsung promised me that he would not touch me if I gave him one of my arms, I could finally relax. It was not because I believed in Jang Yoonsung but because I couldn’t endure it anymore.

When I woke up, the arm that I lent to Jang Yoonsung was in pins and needles. The other arm was holding my blanket. The wig was in the same state. I felt much better. It must have been a while as the red light was barely shining in my room.

Jang Yoonsung seemed to have placed a chair next to the bed and kept it by my side. His eyes were on the corner of the room, not on me. The place where the two suitcases were. Even though he wasn’t looking, whether it was because he noticed I was awake, he opened his mouth.

“You didn’t unpack yet.”

Would he tell me to leave at that point? I showed all kinds of annoying acts, that there would be nothing left to say. As soon as my head would clear, I felt I could give up that job with a breath of fresh air.

Fortunately, my limbs felt fine and everything inside my belly was fine, even if I were in debt later on, I felt like I could cross that bridge when I came to it. Jang Yoonsung’s face slowly came into view. What would he say? I couldn’t even blink my eyes so I could see his lips move.

“Should I help you?”

After that, Jang Yoonsung didn’t call me fake.