CH 70

The sound-activated lights in the corridor had turned off due to the prolonged silence. In that moment of darkness, Lu Ye seemed to snap out of a trance, hastily reaching out to hold Qi Yanbai’s wrist.

The cold bead bracelet brushed past his palm, and Lu Ye, seemingly reluctant, used his thumb to flick it gently. His warm fingertip accidentally brushed against Qi Yanbai’s wrist bone, leaving a subtle and almost imperceptible sensation.

Qi Yanbai was overwhelmed by this intimate reunion. He took a deep breath, and he could almost hear the rapid acceleration of his own heartbeat within his chest.

For the past half month, this was the first time Lu Ye had shown a change in attitude. Qi Yanbai felt both surprised and delighted, not wanting to miss this opportunity. Seizing the moment, he immediately lowered his voice, calling out to him in a conciliatory tone.

“Lu Ye—”

Lu Ye responded with a soft hum and, as if absentmindedly, he casually played with the bracelet on Qi Yanbai’s wrist with his fingers before letting go and stepping back.

The warm and familiar touch disappeared once again, and the cool breeze seeped in through the gap between them. Qi Yanbai panicked, instinctively wanting to follow, but before he could take a step, Lu Ye raised his hand to stop him.

In the next moment, there was a light metallic friction sound in the air, followed by a small spark of fire – Lu Ye had lit a cigarette.

“You said you would listen to me?” Lu Ye’s voice sounded emotionally ambiguous, with a slight hint of hoarseness. “How are you going to listen?”

“It can be however you like. We’ll get along in a way you prefer,” Qi Yanbai quickly replied, his voice softening. “I won’t lie anymore. If you don’t want me to watch over you, I can stop doing that too – as long as I can know where you are most of the time.”

Lu Ye couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the implied meaning. He thought to himself that Qi Yanbai was indeed a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He was so quick to agree on the surface but unwilling to take any loss.

Setting aside the “Teacher Qi” filter, Lu Ye suddenly realized that Qi Yanbai’s intentions were quite understandable. However, he didn’t expose Qi Yanbai’s true nature and simply adjusted his posture, leaning against the wall as he took a drag from his cigarette. He spoke with an ambiguous tone, “don’t you feel uneasy?”

“What?” Qi Yanbai didn’t understand.

“You said earlier that you were stalking me because you were afraid I’d leave you, that you felt insecure and scared,” Lu Ye said. “Now, if I were to ask you not to watch me, not to pay attention to me, wouldn’t you feel uneasy?”

Qi Yanbai remained silent for a moment, bewildered by Lu Ye’s question.

Lu Ye’s question had hit the core issue between them squarely – Qi Yanbai knew he wasn’t a “learn-from-mistakes” kind of person. Even if he sincerely apologized to Lu Ye today, there might still be moments in the future when he would act irrationally due to trivial matters.

It could be another argument between them, a new colleague at Lu Ye’s workplace, or simply a late reply to a message due to work matters. “Insecurity” was an abyss for him, and as long as Lu Ye was out of his sight, that feeling could return at any time.

Qi Yanbai had no confidence in his self-control. He couldn’t underestimate Lu Ye’s influence on him.

“I—” Qi Yanbai hesitated, struggling to find an answer. He had just promised Lu Ye that he wouldn’t lie anymore, and now he had to face such a sharp and challenging question.

The flame at the tip of the cigarette flickered in the night, and Lu Ye patiently waited for his response.

If he just said, “I’m not feeling uneasy,” he could easily go along with it. But Qi Yanbai had trouble finding the words to say.

The strange atmosphere brought about by their silence quickly spread in just a couple of seconds. Lu Ye took a drag of his cigarette and waited for a moment. Seeing that Qi Yanbai still couldn’t speak, he oddly felt a hint of warmth in his heart.

“I didn’t enter into a relationship to find a puppet who would obey my every command. There’s no need to tailor everything to my liking,” Lu Ye said, feeling better and loosening his attitude a bit. He couldn’t help but remind Qi Yanbai, “I just dislike being lied to. If you want to make amends with me, it’s better to be honest and be yourself.”

Qi Yanbai was momentarily taken aback, and before he could feel happy about the words “make amends,” he suddenly felt a chill in his heart. Of course not, Qi Yanbai thought. Lu Ye would say such things because he didn’t understand him. If he knew what kind of person Qi Yanbai was, he would never make such a request and ask him to be himself.

Right now, Lu Ye only saw him as a person who apologized to win his back, but he didn’t see the raging fire burning in his heart.

After not seeing each other for half a month, his desire for Lu Ye had reached its peak. If it weren’t for Lu Ye’s overpowering personality, Qi Yanbai was afraid that he would have pinned him against the wall for a kiss the moment they met.

This fire symbolizing “desire” and “insecurity” was about to burn him through. If it weren’t for the shackles of knowing that “Lu Ye might really disappear,” tightly binding him, Qi Yanbai wouldn’t have known what he might have done.

“But I don’t really know my true self,” Qi Yanbai’s eyes evaded, and he vaguely said, “I’ve been living my life according to my parents’ expectations since I was young. I’m used to seeking the approval of others, and I don’t know how to interact with people otherwise.”

This statement was half true and half false. After saying it, Qi Yanbai felt a bit shaky himself and subconsciously added, “And…”

“And what?” Lu Ye pressed.

“And…” Qi Yanbai’s voice faltered for a moment, as if he were forced to confront his own shortcomings. He instinctively avoided Lu Ye’s gaze and continued, “And, my personality isn’t that likable.”

Paranoid, pathological, possessive, and filled with lies—forget about Lu Ye being a police officer; even an ordinary person would probably not like such a partner.

Qi Yanbai was well aware of this, which was why he had to exert control, carefully playing the role of the “perfect lover” within the bounds that Lu Ye could accept.

But it seemed that Lu Ye wasn’t appreciating his “thoughtfulness.” Lu Ye gave Qi Yanbai an up-and-down look, then took the cigarette from his hand and exhaled softly.

“How do you know I wouldn’t like it?” Lu Ye asked in a nonchalant tone.

Qi Yanbai was briefly stunned, as if he hadn’t grasped the meaning behind Lu Ye’s words.

But soon, an entirely unfamiliar and overwhelming sense of anticipation swept over him like a torrential flood. Qi Yanbai subconsciously took a step forward and grabbed Lu Ye’s arm.

“What—” Qi Yanbai didn’t even know what he was expecting; he just urgently asked, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Lu Ye finished the last drag of his cigarette, crushed the butt into a nearby trash can, then turned to face Qi Yanbai. He reached out and touched the corner of Qi Yanbai’s eye.

“You were going for a walk, right?” Finally, Lu Ye curved his lips into a smile, a rare sight these days. He said, “It’s getting late. I’ll go with you.”