I know something about me by laughing in my heart.
Then don't talk. It's my fault to say it. It's my fault not to say it. Whatever I do is still my fault.
Nothing more than what? Just because I didn't please him or obey his orders.
He told me to go out and watch. I'd love to be outside.
Touching my head, I still feel some pain. This head has been hurt three times and twice, thanks to the Crown Prince there, that is, him.
Now, he is no longer the one he used to be.
I don't know why he left me, but have I ever made him happy? I think he is also a poor child who grew up.
I knew the pressure on his shoulder was heavy before, but now he still thinks more.
But there is no pressure in my heart. My heart can't hold him.
At noon, the emperor ordered to return to Beijing.
And Lou poxie and Shangguan Yu went to the border to clean up the tail.
Daliao couldn't take advantage of it and didn't mean to fight. Marrying thirteen princesses in the past is also a way to seek peace/
Daliao just ended. This allows Yan Chao to have a breathing time and recharge his energy.
They walked together. In the afternoon, the emperor deliberately didn't let me see and announced that I would stay in the carriage.
See and don't see, that's it.
The road between me and them is staggered from north to south.
The second day after returning to the palace is the new year.
The new year, the first year of the emperor's accession to the throne, is a different weather.
Everywhere is busy. The emperor has few concubines. Miss Zhang, the prime minister, has also become queen Zhang. Miss li from the military headquarters is Princess Li
I don't have to remember these. I only serve the emperor.
Back in the palace, what comforts me is to see my Xiaojing.
He is tall and strong again.
Seeing me, he didn't cry, but said firmly, "aunt, you've suffered."
My nose is sour: "what should I do? I'm not even as good as you."
"Auntie, you don't cry, auntie, you all like to laugh. Auntie, don't you like plum blossoms? Look." he ran out and moved in a large basin of red and white plums from outside the room. Set off, so beautiful.
"Does my aunt look good? Xiaojing went to pick it early in the morning. Today's new year, Xiaojing thought no one had been with Xiaojing. Yesterday, my aunt came back, and Xiaojing was so happy." he looked at me with bright eyes.
I feel sad that I didn't think about him? He is just a child, staying in this deep palace.
I feel sad that he has no relatives, not to mention him?
"Aunt, sit down and Xiaojing will make tea for you. Xiaojing knows what tea you like best, and I'll keep it." he is busy happily. The small box is like his treasure chest, and everything can be taken out.
Just like me before, I also have one in Qinhuai. I put something in it.
He carefully held a cup of hot tea and looked at me with a smile: "aunt, drink and see."
I picked up the tea and the warm temperature comforted the palm of my hand. It was so comfortable that I sighed.
He raised his head, with some moisture in his big eyes and said gently, "aunt, don't leave Xiaojing any more."
Poor child, I gently hugged him: "Xiaojing has grown up for another year. Xiaojing always has to learn to be independent."
"Xiaojing wants to look at her," he said earnestly.
I chuckled: "I don't know when I will leave here."
Now the emperor will not let me leave. I can only wait for him to be tired, tired and bored. Then he waved and said, "Ni chuxue, get out of here." how happy I am.
"Aunt, don't be sad, Xiaojing will accompany you." his small hand stroked my face and saw the sadness in my eyes.
I smiled and rubbed his head: "there's nothing wrong with my aunt. My aunt is an adult. It's the new year, Xiaojing. According to our Qinhuai custom, my aunt will give you a gift. What does our Xiaojing like?"
He looked at my wrist, pointed to something between my wrists and asked, "what's this?"
"This is the heavenly Pearl King." I said with a smile, "it was given to my aunt by a friend, which represents trust, happiness and persistence. Then my aunt will always be like this. This is what my aunt promised to be happy all the time."
"Is it that long?" he lost interest.
As soon as I said friends, he knew some of my friends.
A little Jing doesn't like it either. He doesn't like it when he says it.
"Auntie, draw a picture for Xiaojing and draw the image of auntie, OK?" his eyes flashed with longing light.
"OK, aunt, I'll send it to you tonight." I said readily, "but aunt still has to work. Just tonight, aunt will send it to you when she has finished painting." the emperor will have breakfast soon, and I have to wait on it again.
In fact, I don't need it. He wants me to get used to him.
Xiaojing is very sensible, "OK, aunt, Xiaojing will go back first. Aunt, today's Chinese new year, he should also be beautiful and happy."
"Aunt is like this. How can she grow beautiful again?"
He folded off a red plum blossom: "aunt, you lower your head," he called softly.
I knew what he meant and bent over with a smile. He put flowers in my black hair and said with admiration, "have a good look."
"The beauty of borrowed flowers." I smiled and took his hand out. "The fragrance of flowers in this room is really wonderful. Even my aunt felt particularly fragrant."
Xiaojing said word by word: "aunt, Xiaojing likes to see you laugh. You smile is the best gift for the new year. Xiaojing is greedy and wants to receive more gifts."
I smiled: "Xiaojing will make my aunt happy."
"I like my aunt," he said persistently.
"Well, my aunt also likes Xiaojing. Go back quickly. My aunt is going to work."
What about justice coming from one side? He must have come to call me.
The emperor did not eat in the palace. This morning, he went to the Empress Dowager.
When the emperor died, the queen became the empress dowager, the emperor's aunt.
I don't like the Empress Dowager very much, but I have to go if I should wait.
With the two little fathers-in-law, holding the tea the emperor used to drink every day, he went to the Empress Dowager's Ci Ning palace.
As soon as the queen comes up, she must have to move away. The prince lives in the East Palace and the queen lives in the West Palace. This is also the royal rule. Those places represent a certain power.
Even the queen and empress Li are here. What a family banquet.
I put the tea on the emperor's table. The Empress Dowager looked at me coldly and said, "emperor, why is this palace maid?"
"Is it funny to come back from the dead?" the emperor said calmly, grinning and mocking.
"Before the emperor ascended the throne, my concubine also saw that the palace maid had painted, which was also unique." the queen spoke very well and said softly and slowly.
"Oh, so it is. Even the queen praised it. What about Lin painter, the first emperor's favorite?"
The queen looked at the emperor and said softly, "it's different."
"Ai family is a little interested. The maid in waiting will stay in CI Ning palace and paint for AI family for a few days." she said casually.
I feel a little cold in my heart. I know something about her cruelty.
"I'm afraid it's bad. If the Empress Dowager likes it, there are many painters in the palace." the queen looked at the broken sun again and smiled.
Princess Li put down her tea and said, "is it difficult for the Empress Dowager to have a maid of honor to draw? Why does the Empress Dowager protect the maid of honor? Or what is it about being our empress dowager?"
Pick the bank's eyes and look at the queen. I laugh to myself. What a pet.
Imperial concubine Li asked for trouble. In this way, she told the queen that the queen looked at the emperor. Isn't that what the emperor meant?
He listened and ate a rich breakfast without caring about women's words.
Even I don't know what he means? Anyway, I don't care. Why not be around who?
"Emperor." the Empress Dowager raised her eyebrows and called softly.
The emperor took the handkerchief in my hand, wiped his lips, and stood up: "I still have something to do. Today is the new year. In the evening, my lord prepared a stage in the imperial garden. Let's go and have a look. As for the maid in waiting, the Empress Dowager likes it. It's nothing. Come here tomorrow. If you lose your peace, it's not enough." he looked at the three women and turned away.
I didn't expect that he really let me go to the Empress Dowager's Ci Ning palace. It must be a blessing in disguise.
But I followed him out without asking.
The whole morning was busy, either for the reward of the concubine or for the New Year gift of the palace.
And the bounty of every princess, Prince and Prince.
Everything has to be written down and sorted out. The whole palace has to be busy. If it is depressed again, the new year will still pass.
I can have lunch in my room at noon. After all, I'm specially serving the emperor.
This identity is probably some noble, and it is also equipped with a separate small room.
During the lunch time, I drew a picture and promised to give it to Xiaojing, so I can't break my promise.
Now I finally know that the hardest thing to draw in the world is human laughter.
Buddha's eyes, like pity but not pity, Buddha's smile, like smile but not smile, is also difficult for people to grasp and draw.
And people's laughter is really difficult to draw. I smile in the mirror, but I always feel that I can't laugh. It's strange.
How to laugh, or how stiff, maybe I was born not to look good.
Laugh, as stiff as you want, and simply draw a giggling face.
Blow the picture dry gently and roll it up.
Lunch is cold. Anyway, I'm not hungry.
I washed my hands, had a haircut and saw the red plum in the mirror.
Alas, it seems a little old. I'm only eighteen or nine years old after today. How can I be old? However, the eyes are obviously old.
Fortunately, I looked for some time and didn't find white hair.
Patting his face, "Ni chuxue is getting old," how can I say that he and he are old, and I don't even know that he has changed.
Nothing. People always grow up, no matter how old they are.
Well, day after day, I have been in the palace for two years.
As soon as I got back to the capital, it didn't snow again.
In the plum garden, the plum blossom competing for fragrance is so beautiful.