Volume 4 - CH 19.1

——After saying goodbye to his father, Subaru, while reorganizing the thoughts in his mind, slowly made his way through the familiar townscape, on the road leading to home.

As he walked on, a myriad of emotions had been surging through his heart.

He hadn’t taken a stroll in the sun at an hour like this ever since he stopped going to school, but the feeling of sunlight on his skin was probably not the only reason why the scenery he had walked through so many times before felt different this time.

[Subaru: Well, a kid who’s skipping school can’t really go shamelessly prancing around under Mr.Sun-sama, after all]

It wouldn’t be good if word got around the neighborhood, or if he wound up getting lectured by a police officer.

Even if Subaru had subconsciously wanted his father and mother to hate him, he wasn’t exactly planning to pull the police into it.

The streets around his home were full of memories.

As if soaking it all in, and confirming it with the soles of his feet, passing through the quiet―― or rather, completely unpopulated residential streets, by the time he no longer noticed the sensation of dried up tears on his cheeks, he had arrived at the front door of his house.

Taking in a deep breath, he halted.

Closing his eyes, going through the multitude of emotions in his heart, and gulping them all down,

[Subaru: ――I’m home]

Opening the door, he sent these words into the house.

Feeling a bit nervous, he waited for the reply. But the response that should have greeted him still didn’t come. Sensing something strange and furrowing his brows, Subaru took off his shoes and stepped into the house. Then, looking around for his mother who should be home,

[Subaru: ……Ohaiy-]

――In front of the refrigerator, looking back at him, his mother was holding a bottle of mayonnaise in her mouth.

[Subaru: …….I’m back]

All the tenseness up to now suddenly vanishing without a trace―― Subaru dropped down his shoulders, smiling wryly, and more or less accepted that situation.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

[Subaru: There was no reply, I was starting to worry if something happened]

[Mom: What else could have happened. See, mom’s mayonnaise bottle is empty. So I stole your dad’s mayonnaise to slurp on and…… recently, I’ve been getting the feeling that Subaru’s voice is becoming really similar to dad’s. If you’re on the phone I wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference]

[Subaru: The topic kind of jumped there, but basically, you couldn’t tell the difference between my voice and dad’s so you tried hiding, huh. No, but, if you were trying to hide you’d want to be a bit more sneaky about it]

Facing his mother, who was sucking on the Mayo, Subaru took the caved-in bottle from her and let it expand back to its original shape, before putting it down on the table.

Staring at him, Naoko tilted her neck,

[Mom: Keep it a secret from your dad, ok? But see, slurping on your dad’s mayonnaise, I get my favorite mayonnaise flavor combined with your dad’s flavor at the same time, it’s a great bargain isn’t it?]

[Subaru: That sounds like the perverted testimony of a kid who steals a girl’s recorder to lick it! Combining one favorite thing with another favorite thing to make something better, are you a kindergartener!?]

[Mom: So, what happened to your dad? Did you leave him behind? Subaru, when did you get fast enough to be able to leave your dad behind?]

[Subaru: It’s not like I could win against dad in race in the first pla……but, well, maybe]

Just as he was about to immediately refute his mother’s question, Subaru swallowed it back into his chest.

When was the last time he had a race with his dad? Back then, his father didn’t behave like an adult at all, and would mercilessly leave Subaru way behind in the dust. Despondently watching his father’s back vanishing into the distance, perhaps even at that point, a small sense of admiration had been sprouting in his heart.

But, how many years had already passed since then? If he raced with his father again, surely he wouldn’t be left that far behind, or, he might even win.

That admiration only ever enlarging, Kenichi’s existence inside Subaru had grown to an enormous size. All the while, having misunderstood its true essence, no one else could have saved him from it.

[Subaru: In the end, I still give up on everything half way, huh]

Saying this while leaning backwards and squeaking the back of his chair, Subaru flung out a big stretch. And, watching him do this, Naoko placed her hand over her lips and laughed,

[Subaru: What is it? Was something funny?]

[Mom: I thought, that gesture looks just like your father. Even back then, your dad likes to stretch on the back of his chair. He’d put too much force into it and throw himself right over]

[Subaru: It’s not just the voice, even our movements are similar, huh. I really can’t tell if that’s good or bad right now]

[Mom: But I think it’s a good thing. ――You’re his son, after all]

“DOKUN”, single large thump sounded in his chest, and Subaru desperately tried to stop a groan from seeping out of his throat. Seeing his expression stiffen and his eyes growing wide, Naoko blinked several times with her sharp eyes, that looked exactly like Subaru’s. Breathing in through his nose, Subaru managed to calm down the pounding of his heart, and,

[Subaru: I feel like I won’t have the strength to leave again, if I stay here for too long……]

Saying this, he stood up from his chair. With his mother’s confused gaze looking up at him, Subaru scratched his cheek, as he turned,

[Subaru: So um, there’s something I want to ask]

[Mom: En, I’m listening]

With an unconcerned air, as if pretending not to notice his reluctance and hesitation, Naoko occasionally glanced back and forth between him and the mayonnaise. The desire to hear her son continue his words, was probably as attractive as the impulse to continue slurping mayonnaise down her throat.

Taken aback at seeing his mother still not having changed a bit, Subaru’s face broke into a small smile,

[Subaru: ――Do you, remember where my school uniform is stowed away?]