Volume 4 - CH 49.1

――With the dry clasps of footsteps striking upon his eardrums, Subaru felt a sense of unease inside his very skin.

The cold wind flowing into the Tomb was accompanied by an unpleasant stickiness. As if the ground was clinging to his feet as he ran, every step drained him of strength.

Feeling sharp, electrifying sensations all over his exposed skin, it was like his body was being pummeled by objects protruding from the air. Essentially, it was a feeling that made him hesitate to go forward.

――Subaru already knew a feeling very similar to this.

But, urged on by his sense of foreboding, Subaru swept aside the tangling discomfort as he sprinted towards the entrance of the Tomb.

Passing through the moon-lit corridor and the ivy-ridden entrance, with a sensation of breaking through a membrane of air, Subaru came out of the Tomb.

And there, he saw it.

[Subaru: ……You gotta be kidding me, oy]

Subaru’s feet gouged into the earth as he skidded to a stop.

Almost toppling over from the momentum, flooding into Subaru’s sight was something in the realm of inconceivable.

So detached from common sense was the scene before his eyes.

[Subaru: A shadow……?]

The mutter that spilled from his lips―― summed up just about all of it.

Shadow―― was the only way to describe what he was seeing.

The Sanctuary, which was supposed to be visible from the entrance of the Tomb, was nowhere within sight. While it was true that the inhabited area was located quite far away from the Tomb, as far as Subaru was concerned, there was no way he couldn’t see a single building from here.

Above all, the full moon was still clear in the sky, pouring its silver glow over all the earth. Yet the world he was seeing was far too dark, as if it was submerged under a shadow.

[Subaru: ――――]

Gulping down his breath, Subaru made up his mind to set out towards the darkness-befallen Sanctuary. Lifting his soles off the stone slabs, he stepped onto the soil and grass. ――Or, that should be what it was.

He did feel the sensation of stepping onto a bed of overgrown grass, but his vision, swallowed by the darkness, couldn’t actually verify that fact. The sticky sensation on his skin didn’t change, either.

[Subaru: E-Emilia――!]

Unable to endure these surreal surroundings, Subaru called out to the first name that appeared in his mind. After calling to the girl most certain in his memories, his thoughts resumed their motion, as the names and faces flashed across his mind,

[Subaru: Ram! Lewes-san! And-incidentally-Otto! Are you there!? Please come out!]

If this was immediately after the Trial, they should still be outside the Tomb waiting for Emilia’s results. Ignoring their calls to stop him, Subaru had rushed into the Tomb and wound up becoming another participant in the Trials. That had always been what preceded his Returns.

Afterwards, when he carried Emilia out of the Tomb, he was always greeted by those usual faces.

This time shouldn’t have been any different.

[Subaru: They’re not here…… but it’s not only that… What’s with the gloomy atmosphere? Even paddy roads in the countryside aren’t this dark…]

Without artificial lighting, the paddy field roads in the night would sink into true darkness in the absence of starlight.

But the Sanctuary’s situation was different from that “instant-dark”. The moon was gleaming overhead, and that gleam was at least falling on Subaru’s body.

And yet, that light somehow dissipated before reaching the ground, setting the scene for this vague and uncertain night. ――It was as if a spotlight was shining on him alone.

The only thing visible in this darkness was himself. Turning to look behind him, even the Tomb he had just come out of had been swallowed into darkness and could no longer be seen.

Memories of walking through the White Whale’s fog came back to him.

Having lost the girl he relied on, thrown off the dragon carriage, unsure whether the White Whale’s jaws were closing in behind him, and having lost both sense of direction and any reason to go on living, he remembered walking on.

In the end, eventually wandering out of that fog, he was picked up by Otto’s favorite dragon, Furufu.

So this time, if he kept on walking through the darkness, perhaps he would be rescued as well?

[Subaru: What am I, an idiot? ……No, I am an idiot. What’s with this deadbeat, loser-dog thinking? If I have no idea what happened, no idea what’ll happen, don’t even know where everyone is and here I am worrying about myself, idiot]

Hadn’t he just confirmed his resolve at Echidona’s tea party?

No matter what happens, no matter how much he must suffer, if Subaru could just pay with his life to solve everything in the end, he would consider it a bargain.

Compared to losing the people most important to him and proceeding into an irreparable future, how fortunate it is to be able to exchange his life for the chance to try again.

So, dawdling around embattled by fear in front of an incomprehensible situation, going in circles before meeting a pathetic end to his life was not what Subaru needed to do.

Rather, he should be boldly challenging his incomprehensible circumstances, and even if he fails to reach an answer, he should grasp every clue he could for vengeance in the next life before welcoming a meaningful death.

[Subaru: In any case, what I have to confirm now is……]

Where Emilia, Ram, and everyone else had gone.

When he first saw that Emilia was not in the Tomb, for a moment, Subaru thought that she had passed the Trial, woke up, and left on her own. But he immediately ruled out that possibility. Because if Emilia passed the Trial and woke up safely, there was no reason for her to not wake Subaru.

Subaru knew from experience with Emilia that when someone inside a Trial is touched or called, the Trial would be interrupted.

Although more accurately, Subaru’s consciousness was inside Echidona’s tea party rather than the Trial, so that premise might not apply here.

[Subaru: But still, it’s not like Emilia to leave me and head out by herself]

She would have tried to pull the unconscious Subaru out of this place, or at least rested him against a wall. He couldn’t imagine that she would just leave without doing anything.

And then, there was also the rather mean conclusion―― Subaru didn’t think Emilia was capable of passing the first Trial on the first try.

Knowing that since day one, Emilia had been stuck on the same Trial in every loop, Subaru was skeptical of the idea that she could have cleared it on her own to begin with.

Therefore, Subaru decided that Emilia’s disappearance was probably not according to her own will. Either someone carried her out, or――

[Subaru: Maybe she came back from the Trial completely dazed, and went out without even noticing that I was here…… that’s not entirely inconceivable]

But that still wouldn’t explain how the world outside was plunged into darkness.

Even if Subaru could accept that as the explanation for Emilia’s disappearance, he still couldn’t begin to imagine what the cause and reason of this scene might be.

At least, in Subaru’s experience, the Sanctuary never once became like this while a Trial was taking place.

As for the absence of the people waiting outside, Subaru’s heart shuddered at the possibility that the ferocious white rabbits might be behind it. But he quickly shook his head and denied that hasty conclusion.

According to his calculations, the attack of the Great Rabbit should take place on the night of the sixth day―― five days from now. Even if it arrived ahead of schedule, he’d still like to believe that it couldn’t have come on the very first day.

――Although, he was intentionally ignoring the fact that the timing of Elsa’s attack on the Mansion had mysteriously changed as well.

That was just another one of the mysteries Subaru had no answers to. But if the date of the Great Rabbit’s attack could randomly change like Elsa’s, then that would leave no room for Subaru to even begin to unravel these circumstances.

Aside from having faith that there was no situation Return by Death couldn’t avert, there was not much Subaru could do.

[Subaru: All I can do now…… is call out to Emilia and the others while looking around and head to the Cathedral to check on the villagers, I guess…]

Straining his eyes trying to see ahead, it dawned on Subaru just how unfeasible his plan was. Although he had the layout of the Sanctuary more or less memorized, it wasn’t to the point of being able to navigate it with his eyes closed.

At this point, even just wandering around this area would require that level of memory power.

Needless to say, getting to his destination safely would be exceedingly difficult. And he couldn’t just unconditionally accept the plan of calling out while searching for the others, either.

[Subaru: If this pitch-darkness was somebody’s doing…… can’t really guarantee whoever I run into will be friendly]

Burning up with anxiety, Subaru continued agonizing over what his best course of action would be.

If he wanted to rendezvous quickly, he should raise his voice and call out. That would be the best way to find out if Emilia and the others were safe. But he was quite aware of the folly of acting blindly from his miserable past experiences. Just how many times had he died in this world because of that?

[Subaru: ……Damnit. If I don’t at least figure out what’s going on, I’ll be screwed if I get killed before that]

At the end of his deliberations, Subaru decided to take the cautious approach.

Suppressing his voice and holding down the sound of his breathing, he focused his eyes into the darkness and followed the map in his mind towards the populated area of the Sanctuary.

Only the sensation beneath his feet was certain. It was the only proof of the existence of the reality outside the Tomb and his only reliance in the world painted in darkness. Despite having fallen into pitch darkness, the Sanctuary should still be the same as before――

[Subaru: ――――U?]

Slowly but surely, Subaru carefully landed each step on the grass. But after only a few steps, he stopped.

[Subaru: ――――?]

Lifting his face, Subaru somewhat pointlessly looked around in the darkness, hoping to find the source of the ominous breeze.

He felt it. There was something unique about the wind that swept by just now.

It was neither the refreshing breeze passing a field of grass, nor the dusty wind blowing inside the Tomb, nor a wind infused with the blood-soaked scent of a scene of carnage. Instead, it was an air carrying the unmistakable warmth of having touched a living thing.

[Subaru: Wh――]

Unsure of where the wind was blowing from, Subaru looked back in search of the answer.

The Tomb should be directly behind him, but having walked only a few steps away, it was already impossible to see its outlines.

――No, there was a reason other than the darkness why he couldn’t see the Tomb.

[Subaru: ――――a?]

[???: ――――]

At a distance close enough to feel each other’s breaths, in the world of true dark, someone was standing right before his eyes.

The reason he couldn’t see the entrance of the Tomb, was because that person was blocking his view.

How did he not notice when someone had gotten so close to him? And why did that person not utter a sound when they approached him? In that instant, those questions stormed within Subaru’s mind.

But that storm of questions was soon answered.

It couldn’t have been any clearer than that.

{???: ――I love you}

The shadow said to Subaru with a voice so overflowing with affection that it sounded like it was about to melt.