Volume 4 - CH 67.1

“Incomprehensible” was the only feedback Subaru’s mind could muster as he watched the scene unravel before his eyes.

Ram lay in a pool of blood, and, on top of her, was Garfiel’s decapitated body. Standing beside their overlapping corpses, the one who had accomplished this with his bare hands, Roswaal, was wiping blood off of the hems of his garment.

Having witnessed this horrifying feat, for a moment, Subaru couldn’t believe that it was Roswaal who did this.

Roswaal L. Mathers was the representative Court Wizard of the Kingdom of Lugnica, one who could control extreme-tier magic at will, and possessed combat power akin to a siege engine, or so Subaru was told.

It was what he had heard. And precisely because he heard this, Subaru never imagined that Roswaal could deal such destructive power without the use of his magic.

[Roswaal: “Mages are weak in close-quarters combat” is such a pre~~judiced notion. Anyone who’s ever taken up arms against me had that naturally stuck in their heads. ……As to what happened to those thick-headed fools, it’s as you can clearly se~~e]

Subaru unwittingly swallowed his breath at Roswaal’s perfect reading of his unvoiced thoughts.

While Roswaal traced his finger over the specks of blood that had spattered onto his face, painting over his blue eyeliner with a shade of rouge as he smiled. ――Demonic, in the truest sense of the word.

[Subaru: Wh, y……]

[Roswaal: Mm~~mm?]

[Subaru: Why did you kill them…… kill Ram? Garfiel was… killing Garfiel was…… necessary…… but…]

[Roswaal: If we were to talk alone, Garfiel would’ve go~~tten in the way. As for Ram, I admit that what I’ve done was inexcusable. But I am not so strong as to be able to fight Garfiel he~~ad on. I was only able to kill him by catching him off guard just now]

Even though “Catching him off guard” meant piercing Ram along with Garfiel.

Somehow, as he listened to Roswaal’s casual explanation of why he killed them, Subaru’s emotions shed away their rage, and his mind returned to its usual calm.

It was a ludicrous answer to a ludicrous situation. And if Subaru allowed himself to be played in the palm of his hands, giving in to his passion would only be giving Roswaal what he wanted.

[Subaru: …………]

[Roswaal: Hm~~mm, that’s unexpe~~cted. And here I thought you’d be angry at what I said?]

[Subaru: Well, the anger’s done a whole loop around and went back to where it started. ……Not saying I’m not angry, though. Naturally I am. Naturally]

[Roswaal: I~~s that right. While that is an admirable attitude, the young Natsuki Subaru I know would be howling, mad with rage right now, if it were natural. Do~~n’t you think, Natsuki Subaru-kun?]

Roswaal’s single yellow pupil locked onto Subaru’s eyes.

One would often find Roswaal closing one eye and peering his gleaming yellow pupil into his targets, just like now.

And the mere thought of finding himself reflected in that blazing, yellow eye unsettled him to no end.

[Subaru: I realize how stupid I was before, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never grow up. This isn’t a situation that could be fixed by throwing a tantrum, I know that much at least……]

[Roswaal: No~~no, that’s not what I me~~ant, Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Natsuki Subaru-ku~~n]

Roswaal stroked his unbloodied left hand through his navy blue hair as he prodded Subaru with that infuriating address.

But even as the repugnant intonation drove an indescribable sensation into his chest, Subaru did not back down. Instead, he took a step forward, glaring into the clown’s face.

[Subaru: What are you trying to say?]

[Roswaal: What am I trying to say… if that’s what you’re asking, then this is how I’ll answer: ――Congratulations, and welcome. I’ve been waiting. For you to finally stand here before me]

Subaru felt a chill like damp fingertips creeping down his spine.

In front of him, true to his word, Roswaal watched him with a look of sheer delight. That attitude, that delight, all gave Subaru an incomprehensible sense of disgust.

Roswaal didn’t appear sarcastic at all, but seemed genuinely overjoyed for Subaru. The only problem was the inexplicable nature of his elation and of his words.

[Subaru: You’ve been waiting…… for me to stand here?]

[Roswaal: Not in this particular spot in this particular room. Tha~~t would be too literal of an interpreta~~tion. I’m sure you can understand how that is not what I meant. After all, you are the only one who should be capable of understa~~nding]

[Subaru: I’m the only one…… who could understand?]

Little by little, it was as though the pieces were falling into place. Slowly but surely, though hesitating as he linked them, the final picture began to take shape.

The moment he grasped its meaning, “No way”, the thought pierced through his mind.

[Roswaal: Do~~ you understa~~nd, Subaru-kun? Why is it that, when you’ve just witnessed two deaths before your eyes, you could remain so calm and keep yourself from falling into uncontrollable rage? ……In fact, I’m sure you kno~~w why]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Roswaal: Their deaths didn’t hit you with any great impact. You were shocked to see them die. There might’ve even been some indigna~~tion. But, you felt no grief. And that is why you could not turn your anger against me, or stri~~ke me with your fists]

Listening to Roswaal read him like a book, Subaru opened his mouth to object, but closed it again, unable to say a thing.

“What would you know!?” “You think I don’t care about their deaths!?” “How could you murder Ram and Garfiel, you monster!”

Countless rebukes came to mind.

In truth, the impulse to let his emotions explode had surged up many times inside him, each threatening to fly out of his throat, only to dissipate and fade to nothing.

He was enraged. He was shocked. He was in grief, or at least he should be.

But even so, Subaru had no words to refute Roswaal, because――

[Roswaal: ――Because it can all be recovered. Isn’t that what’s going through your mi~~nd?]

[Subaru: What d…..you]

An involuntary shiver froze up his throat, gripping his heart.

Without resorting to metaphors, he really felt the illusion of something clutching at his heart, so great was the shock.

Lifting his head, Subaru instinctively looked around the room, dreading that the black hand might appear to punish his trespass. This would be his first punishment since rejecting the Witch of Envy. What horror would that shadow bring at its return? Just the thought of it strangled his heart with such twisting pain that it felt like it might break.

But,

[Subaru: ……it, didn’t come]

[Roswaal: I wouldn’t know what you’re so wary of, but…… Aa~~ah, I’m sure it must have something to do with your co~~ntract? I~~ see. That would explain the peculiarities of your words and actions up to now. I think I understand]

[Subaru: Understand……. no, before that…!]

Watching Roswaal hold his chin as he nodded, Subaru’s face turned pale as his lips trembled.

Roswaal’s statement just now had no doubt struck upon Subaru’s core, and the fact that it struck meant that――

[Subaru: You…… kno… know about me……!?]

[Roswaal: As far as it does not deviate from what is written, yes. ――You possess the power to start over. I~~sn’t that right?]