Volume 3, Extra: Oni and Happiness

Volume 3, Extra: Oni and Happiness

“N-no way... is this for real...!?”

Amongst the crowded plaza, Subaru raises his voice in disbelief.

Eyes rife with excitement, he can’t help but make a scene.

In his line of sight was a single market stall. ---The brown-clothed shopkeep handling it widens his eyes at Subaru’s sudden overreaction.Thê source of this content n/o/v/(el)bi((n))

But Subaru, overwhelmed, doesn’t even notice the shocked shopkeep. Lips trembling with excitement, he even neglects to wipe the sweat dripping from his forehead, causing Subaru to taste some oddly bitter “saliva.” Caught like a deer in headlights, Subaru’s feet stop squarely in front of the stall.

“Hey, what’s the matter, standing around like a mook all of a sudden? If we don’t get home soon you’ll end up buying some useless crap again.”

The child walking ahead grimaces as he reluctantly stops for Subaru.

Folding his arms behind his head, the boy’s sharp, dagger-like stare makes his displeasure seem very obvious.

And yet, while his leering suggests he’s out to kill, Subaru knew he wasn’t necessarily in a bad mood. After all, Subaru, with his own set of sharp eyes, was practically a veteran in accidentally scaring off strangers.

“[Live strong...]”

“What the hell are you suddenly pitying me for! Ah, wait wait wait! I don’t wanna hear it! I know it’s just gonna depress me! Don’t tell me! I said don’t tell me goddamnit!”

“Seeing you all worked up like this, I’m really looking forward to the future. Really, you’re the best for bullying like this. You might seriously be a prodigy. Blessed by the very Gods with this divine gift.”

“Like hell I want a gift like that! If the Gods have the time to be giving out useless crap, then at least give me something more useful damnit!”

The boy shouts back at Subaru’s taunts, his face twisted fiercely.

---The boy with short blue hair looks up to the sky as if grieving. Subaru merely nods at his usual overreaction, then proceeds to face the shopkeep who had been watching their useless banter with a blank face.

“Hey, how much are these?”

“H-huh?”

Subaru grins mischievously at the shopkeep who was obviously taken aback. Subaru’s evil glare and exposed teeth puts a lump in the shopkeep’s throat as he tries his best not to shriek. Although considering the exchange just then, his own reaction seemed rather trivial.

Subaru clears his throat and points at a particular item in the stall.

“I want these. Give me some. I’ll take, say, three bags of them.”

“Y-yes! Thanks for ya patronage!”

“Hey! Wait, wait a sec! What the heck are you buying all of a sudden... if we buy unnecessary stuff on the way home, we won’t just be wasting money, we’ll be punished within an inch of our lives!”

The second the shopkeep accepts Subaru’s purchase, the boy’s face fills with fear. He pulls sheepishly on the hem of Subaru’s coat, practically begging him to reconsider. Taking hold of his hand, Subaru crouches to the boy’s eye level and reassures him,

“Don’t worry, I’m not using any of our shopping money. This’ll come out of my own personal pocket money. It’s my hard-earned allowance that I’ve slowly, slowly been saving up. I’m sure you know how restrictive I am about using it.”

“Uh huh, yeah, well... you don’t spend on alcohol or smokes, so that just leaves... I guess splurging it all on women?”

“Hey, you’re definitely trying for a serious misunderstanding here, aren’t you. Who the hell did you get this awful personality from, huh? I’d really like to know-”

“I’m pretty much certain it’s hereditary. Sadly.”

Subaru shakes his head with grief at the boy’s callous declaration. As he brandishes the Bird with his left hand, Subaru grabs the exposed finger by the joint, and the boy mutters a short “Ah” before wailing in pain.

As these two carry on, the shopkeep dutifully fills the bags and gives a brief, nervous laugh.

“You boys sure are friendly. Whatcha, father and son?”

“Hey, hey, after all that, you really think he’s my son... man, merchants sure have some useless eyes. What do you think Rigel?”

“After looking at our faces, it’d be harder not to figure it out!”

Still locked in a death grip, Rigel shouts rebelliously against the pain. Hearing that, Subaru admits defeat with a casual “Well, I guess that’s true.”

At that point, the bagging was finished. The shopkeep brings forward three small sacks while Subaru pulls out the pouch holding his allowance.

“Alright, how many Yen will that be?”

“Dunno what ‘Yen’ ya talkin’ ‘bout, all togetha it be sixteen coppers.”

“Hm, then three silvers should do. ---I don’t need the change. Keep it.”

“Shoot! Generous ain’tcha! I’ll take ya up on it. Thanks.”

The shopkeep makes big, dramatic gestures as he happily accepts the silvers. Watching the exchange and their carefree smiles, Rigel grimaces. Between Subaru’s Death Grip and the fact they were giving up the change, it was obvious that Rigel was upset.

“Don’t worry, it’s all good. Today I got a hold of something really nostalgic. Just consider it a bonus for bringing me a little excitement. Besides, being too stingy will get you punished someday.”

“...Excitement and nostalgia, what are you even talking about.”

Rising up, Rigel, while still clearly discontent, asks curiously about the purchase. In response, Subaru ruffles his short hair with full force. “GUAAAAHH”, Rigel roars with further discontent.

“It’s got a little something to do with the Missus. It reminds me of an old custom from my hometown,”

Subaru replies, a mischievous smile emerging on his face.

-------------------------------------

“---and so, you two somehow ended up spending how much?”

The blue-haired maiden sighs lightly at Subaru’s explanation. The second Subaru and Rigel had returned, she came out to welcome them both home. She apparently came from the kitchen, as her white apron had faintly wet splotches, showing where she had hurriedly dried her hands.

In his spare time, Subaru covered her apron with decorative patches and embroidery. Seeing the wet splotches all a careful distance from his handiwork, Subaru is struck with a surprise attack of embarrassing affection.

“Geez, what are you laughing about. Rem still hasn’t received a satisfying answer.”

Without really thinking, Subaru’s face loosens at the sight of her

---yet, the long, blue-haired Rem was thoroughly upset. Looking ready to dish out a frightening punishment, she lays her eyes on Rigel who stands beside Subaru.

“Rigel too. You know your father is erratic like this. If you don’t keep it together, what is Rem to do?”

“Yes, I’m incredibly sorry for.... wait a sec, this is just weird. Even if I calm down and think carefully it’s still just plain weird!? Why is the child being scolded for his careless parent? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?”

“Wait a minute, Rigel. Take a deeep breath, now exhaaale.... yeah like that, slooowly. Repeat that five more times, and make sure to close your eyes. One, two, three... yeah, there you go. Have you calmed down? Yup, you’re calm now. Alright so now that you’re calm, go ahead and apologize to your mother...”

“I freakin’ meditated till I hit my Zen state and reflected on my actions, but I still don’t see how I’ve done anything wrong!!”

Rather than calm down, Rigel goes red in the face with anger, raging toward his room. “Rigel!”, Rem calls out his name as he rushes past her, but he keeps moving. Or so it seems until he had run up to the end of the corridor.

“...what?”

Rigel’s feet stop. Despite everything else, Rigel always listens to what his parents had to say to the very end. Rem, fully aware that Rigel would stop for him, carries on with her usual cool demeanor,

“Snacks have been prepared for you up in your room, so please have them after washing up. And don’t forget to let Spica know you’re home.”

“...got it. Thanks for the food.”

As part of Subaru and Rem’s lessons on mannerisms, it was an ironclad law in the Natsuki household to say “Thanks for the food” before meals. No matter how frustrated or rebellious he was, Rigel would always remember this rule. Seeing the rare child in him, the couple looked toward him with fond eyes.

In an act of petty rebellion, however, Rigel still slams the door as he heads upstairs. Rem turns back toward Subaru.

“Do you, do you think we teased him a bit too much?”

“Nah, in terms of mother-and-son conversations, that was par for the course. Even though he acts like that, at his core, he at least doesn’t hate it. That brat, he really is just like how I was as a kid. I can basically see right through him.”

Subaru affectionately pets Rem, comforting her as he removes his shoes and enters his home. He collects the day’s purchases that Rigel had tossed haphazardly (though in reality, he let it prop up against the wall so it wouldn’t fall over) and, practically by habit, Subaru walks side by side with Rem to the living room.

As he props the three small bags onto the table alongside the groceries, Rem sneaks a peek at their contents.

“They really are... completely normal beans.”

“Yeah, that they are. What, did you think when I said “beans,“ I was somehow hinting something more naughty and erotic? Man, my dear wife might seem calm and level-headed, but she’s actually pretty active and aggressive afterall.”

“Rem simply doesn’t hesitate with giving and receiving love. Furthermore, when it comes to embarrassing displays of affection, Rem thinks Subaru-kun is just as guilty.”

“Oh? When has a SHYand NAIVE-natured NICE GUY such as myself ever done something so shameless?”

As Subaru poses flamboyantly, his chin on his fist and exposed white teeth flashing a smile, Rem briefly gazes at him with a charmed yet somewhat dumbfounded face. With her face still red with embarrassment, she averts her eyes,

“W-when we celebrated our anniversary, Subaru-kun bought a huge number of bouquets, and for Rem’s birthday Subaru-kun and Rigel put up decorations all over the house, and when Spica was born, Subaru-kun convinced the townsfolk to hold an entire parade.... Subaru-kun always spends way too much on other people.”

“I use my allowance to make my wife and family happy. Isn’t that basically spending for myself? In the end, I’m spending my allowance for the sake of my own HAPPY LIFEaren’t I?”

At that point, Rem had curled up into a ball on Subaru’s lap. While softly stroking her small back, Subaru points his finger upward,

“To Natsuki Subaru, family is the most important thing in the world. And the fact that we have ties with Oni isn’t something I can or want to ignore.... Besides, it’s not like Oni have to always be antagonized.”

“....meaning?”

“Technically we’re supposed to say ‘Out with the Oni! In with fortune!’ while we throw beans around. But lately it’s been popular to bring both Oni and fortune into the household.”

“That’s just putting the cart before the horse! Bringing in good and bad things, what happened to the stuff from earlier?”

“The way of thinking must have changed. And I don’t think it’s really a bad thing either.”

Subaru explains as his fingers gently trail through Rem’s long hair. Rem’s back faintly quivers at the ticklish sensation, melting Subaru’s gruff face into a fond smile.

“Chasing them out because they’re Oni is just unreasonable. After all, it might just be possible to befriend an Oni. And then do erotic things with an Oni, and then marry an Oni, and then build a loving family with an Oni. Yeah, somehow, I think they’re all possible.”

“.....”

“If the world changed its way of thinking like that, I think it’d be great. I’ve always really liked Oni, and now my wife is an Oni, so I’m in paradise! Maybe people have started accepting the good with the bad, and this change in the Oni’s treatment reflects that.”

Just as good and bad fluctuates in the world and day-to-day life, perhaps the way people feel about Oni is changing.

Some even declare Oni as “moe” characters. Having experienced Oni firsthand, Subaru knows them better than anyone. In his mind, there isn’t even a shred of doubt. His wife is the cutest.

“In with the Oni! In with fortune too!”

“Say what?”

“‘In with the Oni! In with fortune too!’ Let’s bring them both in! To me, Oni and fortune are both signs of happiness. Being a bit greedy and going for both.... how’s that sound?”

Seeing Subaru shrug casually, Rigel shapes his mouth to say something back, but eventually couldn’t find anything to say and slinks back down.

As Subaru laughs at his son’s speechlessness, a smiling Rem, still nestled in his lap, giggles with a “fufufu~” sound.

“That peculiar way Subaru-kun thinks, Rem loves it. ---Let’s do it, the Bean Tossing Festival.”

“Oh, finally up for it it I see. Alright, let’s strike while the iron’s hot. Maybe after this we can share the Festival with everyone else too.”

Rem tilts her face toward Subaru as he lifts her up. She gives him a puzzled look, to which Subaru answers,

“You know, like back when I showed the kids how to play freeze tag, and it spread like wildfire. Kararagi just feels kind of intimate and familiar. I always get the feeling it’s just like my old hometown.”

“Subaru-kun does say that occasionally. Is the feeling really that strong?”

“I said it a few times without really thinking much of it, but the villages here also elect their leaders by popular vote.... or something like that. And there are even holidays just like April Fools and Christmas.”

“Because having many events and holidays keeps things exciting and interesting... Rem thinks.”

“That’s definitely part of it, but I feel like there’s also more to it than that.... well, it doesn’t really matter right now.”

Kararagi was undeniably a wondrous place to live. Together with Rem, it has been nine years since they immigrated here.

Indeed, without the flood of support and kindness from its inhabitants, Subaru and Rem could not possibly have done as well as they did.

Even now though, they still had their difficulties with the tricky Kararagi dialect, which was reminiscent of Kansai dialect.

“Hey, I brought the beans. If we’re doing this, let’s get it over with already.”

“Aha, finally coming around are you, my son. Even though you were being all negative earlier, deep inside you just couldn’t help getting all crazy and excited. Wow, Rigel’s suuuch a kiid~”

“I’m still better than a stupid dad who worries his wife and kids to death!”

Rigel roughly forces a bag into both Subaru and Rem’s hands, keeping one for himself.

Now facing each other, the two Oni look toward Subaru for what to do next. Nodding, he stuffs his hand into the bag and pulls out a single bean.

“It’s simple. Just chant ‘Out with the Oni! In with fortune!’. Well, except we’ll be bringing the Oni in. Yeah, let’s do that instead.”

“Umm, so the beans.... does Rem throw them at the Oni?”

“Umm, Mom? That violent look you’re giving your son is genuinely terrifying him!”

“Well technically, but don’t do it so seriously, alright? Actually, please be gentle.”

After ensuring everything was set, the Bean Tossing Festival

---begins.

Facing off against each other, a bean in each hand,

“Alright, take that! In with the Oni! In with fortune!”

“Umm.... i, in with the Oni! In with fortune!”

“In with the-, hey wait, Spica don’t cry! I said don’t cry! Hey, stop for a sec-, wai-, STOP WITH THE BEANS!”

Back and forth, the room is filled with such exchanges as beans fly chaotically all over.

Subaru bears a refreshing energy and gusto. Rem, who felt embarrassed at first, quickly casts off her shame and laughs innocently. Rigel, who for some reason bore the fatal handicap of handling Spica, fights against an almost desperate struggle.

“Yeah! In with the Oni! In with fortune!”

With the Oni themselves as family, and a home filled to the brim with happiness, this is the way the Natsuki household celebrates the Bean Tossing Festival.

With a loving Oni wife by his side and yet more Oni as children, Subaru enjoys a truly new form of the Festival with his precious family.

This is just bliss, he thought.

Rogue beans scatter about the room, the corridor, all over the house. Just thinking about the ensuing cleanup would put a serious damper on the soul. ----But anyone moping about cleanup instead of enjoying this chaotic moment wouldn’t be quite right in the head.

They laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more as beans shoot across the room.

For the sake of being together with the beloved Oni, and for the sake of everlasting happiness, they toss beans.

“Subaru-kun”

Before he realized it, Rem’s face had closed in on Subaru.

As Subaru drops his gaze towards her, Rem approaches him, her flushed face showing him a brimming smile.

“Today and every day from now on, will Subaru-kun please happily embrace both Rem and fortune?”

Saying that, Rem jumps into his open arms. Subaru hugs her in turn as he replies,

“---I told you didn’t I? Building a future together, hand-in-hand with an Oni, that’s always, always been my life-long dream.”

With the happiness of this moment, as well as the promised happiness of tomorrow, unshakably rooted in his heart, Subaru whispers back his reply with a limitless passion.

---------------------------------

“....Damn, he sure just does whatever he feels like.”

“Adaaa---”

“What, you’re hungry? But no, you can’t eat them. Dad said you’re supposed to eat your age in beans. Spica’s not even 1 yet, and you don’t even have teeth to eat them with anyway. I’ll eat them in your place.”

“Udaaa---”

“Don’t look so sour.... you know, when you make that face, you look just like how Mom does when she’s sulking to Dad. Damn, once Spica starts walking around and stuff, I’m not looking forward to my place in the family hierarchy.”

“Au, baa---?”

“Go back inside? Don’t talk crazy, we can’t go back right now. All that stuff about bean tossing and the Festival, and after trying to look cool in front of Mom, they’re definitely still flirting around in there. ‘Out with the Oni!’ my ass. I bet he just wanted me out so he could flirt to his heart’s content.”

“Aau! Aaah, adaaa---!”

“What, are you backing him up too? First with Mom, now with Spica, does Dad emit some sort of Oni-attracting pheromone or something? I don’t believe this shit.”

“Aah---? Ada, adauuu---. Uuu---”

“Huh? Why are you petting my cheek like you’re trying to comfort me? No, you got it all wrong, it’s not like I like Dad or anything. Even among the Oni, even among the outsiders of the Oni, I’m still an outsider. It wouldn’t phase me even if all the Oni in the world fell for him. I’d still be a member of the Anti-Shitty Dad faction.”

“Aahh--- buaaa---”

“Agh, damn! Screw this! C’mon, we’re going Spica. I figure if we take a short walk around the neighborhood, even those two will eventually finish their flirting. And I’m saying this now, but it’s not like I’m doing this to give them some time for themselves.... I TOLD YOU THAT’S NOT IT!”

“Aadaa! Aadaa!”

“Ahhh, damnnit.”

“----The weather sure is nice today.”