Volume 4, Chapter 58 [Grandma]
Coming out of the remote residence alongside Lewes and Pico, Subaru noticed a sliver of dawn beginning to creep onto the eastern sky, and felt sleepy for the first time that night.
[Subaru: Woah, the sun’ll be up soon...... a whole lot’s happened tonight, huh]
It didn’t feel like it, but the night had begun with Emilia’s first Trial, followed by Subaru’s intervention, a Return by Death, an after-Trial meeting, a run-in with Garfiel, and, after that, him uncovering a secret facility before spending the rest of the night learning the Sanctuary’s secrets from Lewes.
This dense use of time and the hyper-speed developments had left him dazed and out of breath. And, unlike his mind, he couldn’t quite hide the toll on his body, which had been running non-stop until now. One could say that the subtle imbalance of mental and physical fatigue was just one of the downsides of Return by Death.
[Subaru: Honestly, I kinda wanna go back to the Cathedral and sleep till noon......]
[Lewes: No one would mind if you do. I plan on taking a nice long rest as well after I pass things on to the next Lewes]
[Subaru: While I sort of envy the kind of shift-rotations you have, I’m running out of time, so there’s no helping it...]
Six days―― or actually, only five, since a day had already passed. And considering that he’d have to spend a whole day’s travel time to get to and from the Mansion, there was really only three days he could use.
Wasting a precious half of a day sleeping wasn’t something he could afford, but, while Echidona already knew that Subaru could see the future, he was still hesitant about whether he should tell Lewes.
[Subaru: It might make the Witch of Envy show up, so better not just yet......]
Sweat popped up on his forehead the moment the shadowy, Sanctuary-devouring Witch flashed across his mind.
Somehow he just knew that the devastation was a result of him running his mouth in Echidona’s Citadel. Spilling forbidden knowledge out of reach of the Witch’s constraints, he had invited her wrath as well as everything that followed.
So, he’d consider it lucky if the Witch only dealt him the usual punishment in the real world, where she could directly lay her hands on him――
[Subaru: I do wanna try, but out of concern for other people’s lives... better not]
Deciding this in a deflated mumble, Subaru looked down at the dopey-looking Pico, standing there holding his left hand. On the receiving end of his gaze, as if in anticipation of another command, the girl’s round eyes grew even rounder.
It seems that Subaru’s first command had made her more aware of the transfer of command-authority. And now, Pico was like a baby bird looking up to its parent.
[Lewes: So, what does Su-bo plan to do next?]
[Subaru: Probably get back to the Mansion for now. There’s someone there I need to get some answers from...... and I’ll see Frederica while I’m at it. There’s a whole bunch of things she could clear up for me]
[Lewes: Frederica, huh......]
Mentioning the name of the hulking maid who popped into his mind, he saw a furrow in Lewes’ brows, as if there was some significance in hearing Subaru mention this name. After all, it wasn’t like Lewes to react this way.
[Subaru: Did that remind you of something? About Frederica?]
[Lewes: ......No, it’s nothing important]
[Subaru: Lewes-san, I’d rather not use my command authority if possible... I really don’t want to have to order Lewes-san to tell me]
Subaru shrinked up his shoulders, imploring her to tell him. But, underneath the words, his eyes sharpened as if clearly saying, “I’ll use it if I have to”. Seeing this, Lewes let out a sigh.
[Lewes: It was just that, ever since Frederica left, little by little, it feels like the Sanctuary’s gears have been slipping out of place]
[Subaru: Slipping out of place?]
[Lewes: The way it was, though I’m not sure if you could call it healthy...... hm, whether it was the residents, the Lewes Meyer replicants, or Gar-bo, none of them were as on edge as they are now]
[Subaru: ............]
[Lewes: You know, Su-bo, I have great expectations of you]
As Subaru fell silent, Lewes looked up and said this.
“Expectations”. He felt a tug on his chest as he heard it. Because the word reminded him of――
[Lewes: For the longest time, the Sanctuary had been awkwardly serving a purpose which it had already lost. That obstinance is now creating holes all over. That’s why I have great expectations of you, Su-bo]
[Subaru: What, could I......]
[Lewes: The Witch’s obsession, the reasons for the Sanctuary’s continued existence, and Lewes Meyer’s wish. I look forward to seeing you bring about a conclusion that fulfills everyone’s hopes in the end]
A far-too-heavy burden of bearing everyone’s expectations on his shoulders.
Subaru had the urge to immediately say “Can’t do it”. But, sensing Lewes’ solemn gaze,
[Subaru: ――――]
The words just stuck in his throat.
[Lewes: This is good. For now... it’s good enough]
Seeing Subaru’s hesitation and reluctance, as if understanding it all, Lewes nodded her head.
Her appearance was no older than a child’s, but it was in moments like this that Subaru understood that she possessed qualities befitting her age.
[Lewes: It seems, my time is almost up]
Leaving these words with a tinge of regret, Lewes’ body began to glow with a faint light.
It reminded him of a spirit on the verge of vanishing, he thought, as he reached out his fingers to her, but,
[Lewes: Don’t worry. I’m not returning to mana just yet. I’m just going to sleep for a while until I save up the expended mana again. There will be a Lewes to replace me soon]
[Subaru: But... even if your face and voice are all the same, you won’t be the same, right?]
[Lewes: I suppose you’re right. The looks and tone and personality are meant to be similar...... but we’re still different people. So, only this old self chatting with Su-bo right now is actually me. Does that make you feel lonely?]
[Subaru: It’s not whether I feel lonely or not. Lewes-san...... Lewes-san don’t you feel sad? Aren’t you upset that there are four people taking turns pretending to be Lewes Meyer? Don’t you ever wonder where your own life......]
Caught mid-sentence, Subaru realized just how cruel his questions were.
Even if Lewes herself thought this way, even if she truly suffered and grieved over her circumstances, Subaru knew full well that there was nothing he could do about it.
He had no grasp of arcane principles, detailed knowledge of mana, or even the most superficial understanding of magical algorithms. So what was the point of reaching out to these unreachable regrets?
Lewes seemed to understand his conflicting thoughts. She gave him a faint smile as her pink hair swayed in the wind, tinted by the colors of dawn.
[Lewes: What do you think, Su-bo?]
[Subaru: ――huh?]
[Lewes: The answer to that question... is just another one of the things I will eagerly expect from you]
Leaving this behind, like a thin haze, Lewes’ body melted into the morning light.
No different from a scattering mist, impossible to believe even with the warning beforehand, it was like a scene pulled straight from a dream. A living person simply vanished into the dawn.
Although she told him that she wouldn’t cease to exist, he found it hard to take her at her word.
But, in that same instant, the shape of another person appeared where Lewes had vanished. Whether it was stature or appearance, every last detail was identical to the Lewes who disappeared.
She shook her head once and looked up at Subaru,
[Lewes: I shouldn’t think I need to reintroduce myself, Su-bo. The previous “me” has filled me in all about you]
As if to clear up Subaru’s doubts, with that, the new Lewes updated their mutual understanding. And, at the very end, the girl tilted her head,
[Lewes: So, Su-bo...... what will you do first?]
[Subaru: Ah, right......]
He lifted his head.
Watching the light of dawn erode away the night’s sky, his thoughts slipped to the time that had passed, as well as the time that still remained to him.
Then his eyes dropped to Lewes and Pico, and,
[Subaru: First thing is to get out of the Sanctuary. I’ll need some help from Lewes-sans for that]
And just like this, Subaru submitted his request.
Subaru arrived at the stable just after the break of dawn.
Pushing open the creaking gate as quietly as he could, he searched for his partner inside, and found the jet-black figure blending into the darkness in the back of the stable, awaiting her master’s call.
[Subaru: Sorry for cooping you up in here, Patrasche]
Hearing Subaru’s voice, Patrasche reached out her head and nudged him with her nose. Her gesture was at once filled with affection and carrying a tinge of complaint at being left aside for so long, prompting a ticklish feeling inside Subaru’s heart.
[Subaru: I know you just woke up, but I need your help. Can you take me back to the Mansion?]
Holding her face up to Subaru’s palms, Patrasche snorted, as if to say “What ‘am I going to do with you, Subaru-kun......”.
Sighing with relief that at least his dragon was on board with his plan, Subaru untied Patrasche’s reins from the stable and prepared to bring her outside.
Without other encumbrances weighing her down, the usual half a day’s ride might be completed in even less.
[Subaru: Is that your excuse?]
[Garfiel: ――――]
Garfiel’s expression, flustered with rage, suddenly changed in front of Subaru’s concise question.
His seething glare sharpened while the intermittent sound of clenching teeth broke through his silent breaths.
[Subaru: Garfiel, you act like you want to keep us in the Sanctuary, and want us to complete the Trials...... but that’s not what you really feel, is it?]
[Garfiel: Th’fuck’s that supposed to mean, oy]
[Subaru: Doesn’t mean a thing. If you really hope to liberate the Sanctuary, you should let me do what I have to do. But you won’t, and you can’t, not yet, because there are more complicated factors at play. Am I wrong?]
[Garfiel: Hah, don’t give me that bullshit. I just can’t stand y’reekin of th’Witch’s stench without doin’ somethin’ ab......]
[Subaru: You... can’t really smell the Witch’s stench on me, can you?]
Once again, Garfiel fell speechless in front of Subaru’s question.
His eyes swam and his lips began to quiver. Truly a man who couldn’t hide his heart. Seeing his reaction, Subaru smiled bitterly, and,
[Subaru: What’s really been bothering me was when I came out of the Tomb last night. Honestly, at that moment, I thought you were going to kill me before I’d even have a chance, but you didn’t]
[Garfiel: ......Hah? Th’fuck’re y’talkin’ about?]
[Subaru: You don’t know what I mean? I’m starting to have doubts about whether you’ve been lying about that sharp nose of yours]
It was immediately following Returning by Death, after dying from contact with the Witch, no less.
Even though Subaru must have been soaked to the bone in the Witch’s scent, Garfiel’s attitude towards him didn’t change at all. Yet, not long after they parted, he came back to confront Subaru as if he had just remembered it, leading to their exchange last night. ――It was just all too unnatural.
[Subaru: Maybe you didn’t want to escalate the situation so you pretended not to notice, that was what I thought at the time...... but, considering your straightforward personality, I had to rule out that possibility]
[Garfiel: Y’re getting pretty far with yer conceited speculations. Y’think I’m lyin’ ‘bout smellin’ the Witch’s stench on ya? Hah, how fuckin’ stupid is that!? Why th’hell would I lie about somethin’ like that, oy? What’s the point o’......]
[Subaru: Of course there’s a point. By claiming this, you’re drawing all the suspicion to yourself...... and diverting attention away from the actual person with the sharp nose]
[Garfiel: ――――]
That single statement must have struck the heart of Garfiel’s true intentions.
The moment he heard it, Garfiel’s face contorted in the truest sense of the word.
His willingness to resolve matters through dialogue up to now was suddenly replaced by one of violence and impulse.
Garfiel’s arms swelled, doubling in thickness. Golden fur began to cover his exposed skin as his slouching back hunched even deeper, ever closer to standing on all fours.
[Garfiel: I’ve heard enough of yer prattlin’. Looks like y’know somethin’ y’shoudn’t. I’d have avoided it if I could, but looks like I can’t let y’live]
[Subaru: Don’t say that, Garfiel. You might want to hear me out for a little longer. Otherwise, you won’t know how your secrets got leaked, right?]
[Garfiel: My secrets......?]
Stared down by Subaru’s intensified glare, Garfiel let slip a voice of doubt.
To wipe away Garfiel’s disbelief, Subaru lifted his arm atop Patrasche’s back, and gave a loud snap of his fingers. Then,
[Garfiel: A, ah?]
Garfiel groaned, doubting the sight before his eyes.
On the other end of his vision, at Subaru’s beckon, one by one, Lewes Meyer copies emerged from the treeline, gathering around the ground dragon until there was twenty-one in all.
Personally restaging the scene he had once witnessed before, Subaru pointed his finger towards Garfiel,
[Subaru: Now that you’ve seen it, do you more or less understand my position here?]
[Garfiel: How...... how th’hell did y’find that place!]
[Subaru: Using regret and pain as the sacrifice, I’ve summoned the truth. Now, it’s my turn]
Raising his palm to the sky, Subaru looked down at the defeated Garfiel from atop his dragon.
On the receiving end of his gaze, Garfiel’s throat froze, as if unable to come to terms with the reality of having been beaten.
[Subaru: The command authority has transferred to me. So that you wouldn’t notice, I told them to follow your orders for the rest of the night]
[Garfiel: ――a]
[Subaru: But there’s no need to hide it anymore. Listen up, Garfiel. I am going to leave the Sanctuary and head back to the Mansion. There are things I have to do. So I can’t have you getting in the way]
Just now realizing the implications of Subaru’s order, Garfiel’s expression collapsed.
The firm determination of moments ago had melted from his face, and, in its place, was only an expression of weakness and confusion like that of a lost child.
His body’s beastification had ceased, and the swollen figure shrank back to its original, scrawny form.
[Subaru: Don’t follow, Garfiel. There’s a mountain of things I want to ask you as well, but it’s best if we leave it till later. The command authority too, there’re way too many things I need to ask you]
[Garfiel: Quit...... quit jokin’ around. Y’think I’m gonna give up that easily......?]
[Subaru: You will. Deep down, you’re just that soft]
At Subaru’s provocation, Garfiel leaped forth with a roar. Baring his fangs, his momentum seemed to be set on crushing Subaru and Patrasche in a single strike. But there, a tiny figure stepped in between them.
A replicant. Garfiel swung his arm as if to swipe her away to clear the path of advance or else run her over. But, just before his arm made contact,
[Lewes: ――Gar-bo]
[Garfiel: ――!?]
Being called by his nickname, Garfiel’s expression changed once more, as he reined in his arm at the last moment to strike at empty air. And, just like this, Garfiel’s body was caught mid-flight by a multitude of hands, pulling him to the ground without resistance.
The replicants reached out all over Garfiel’s body and held him under total restraint. Then, standing above Garfiel’s despondent face, looking down,
[Lewes: Now, is that enough of a head start, Su-bo?]
[Subaru: Yeah, thanks for the help. I don’t think Garfiel ever expected something like this]
During their battle against the Witch of Envy, Garfiel never hesitated in using the replicants as sacrificial pawns in his attack. But back then, there was no conscious Lewes Meyer at the scene. The active Lewes at the time must have already been swallowed by the Witch’s shadow, but Subaru suspected that there might be another reason as well.
With a calculation that could be said to be beyond cruel,
[Subaru: You can’t treat the Lewes you see as family the same way you treat the other replicants. If there’s a difference between how you and I use the control authority, that would be it]
[Garfiel: Y’motherfucker――!!!!]
[Subaru: But, even if not for that, you still couldn’t destroy Lewes Meyer replicants with your own hands, right? So, be good and let me off this time. It could be worse]
[Garfiel: How can it get worse than it already is! Quit fuckin’ with me, y’quit fuckin’ with me!]
Hearing the barks echo out into the horizon, Subaru consciously ignored it as he gave Patrasche a few taps on her back. Sensing Subaru’s intention, the ground dragon gave a little snort, turned her back to the restrained Garfiel, and headed for the bounds of the forest.
Before leaving, Subaru turned back to Lewes, and,
[Subaru: I made you do something disagreeable, sorry about that]
[Lewes: I can tell that it must be necessary. As unpleasant as it is, I wouldn’t have refused. There’s no need to worry about me]
[Subaru: Still, sorry]
Subaru left this apology as Lewes turned to Garfiel with a look of sympathy. With that as his farewell, he signaled Patrasche to get going.
Once again, with the activation of the Divine Protection, all noise and wind were left behind them.
[Garfiel: Wait! Stop! Y’motherfucker! Quit fuckin’ around, oy!!]
The distant voice hounded Subaru’s trail.
As if to shake off its pursuit, Patrasche accelerated once more, carrying Subaru through the forest and out of the Sanctuary.
[Garfiel: Let go! Y’can’t let that guy outside...... why, whywhywhy! Granny y’rather take that guy’s side than mine? Why, just why......]
[Lewes: ――――]
[Garfiel: GRANDMAAAA――!!!!]
A wail, as if at a loved one’s betrayal, resounded through the forest.
Leaving it and all else behind him, Subaru kept his course amidst the passing trees.
Necessary sacrifices, and necessary sorrows, all stepping stones towards the perfect future.
Biting down on the corner of his lips and feeling blood trickling out of the gash, Subaru wrote off Garfiel’s despair as another sacrifice.
-=Chapter 58 End=-