Volume 4, 61 [A Scream From Four Hundred Years Ago]

Volume 4, Chapter 61 [A Scream From Four Hundred Years Ago]

Entranced by the sadness of her eyes, Subaru couldn’t bear to look away.

An emotion rose up in his chest, making him want to snicker and laugh at her words,

――What did you say just now?

He should have thrown her senseless words back at her.

He should have twisted his lips into a grin and cracked a joke like they always did.

But there was―― just a hunch, telling him that it wouldn’t work.

Because otherwise,

[Subaru: ――――]

Why else wasn’t he laughing off the girl’s death-wish as some joke?

[Subaru: What did you...... say, just now?]

After a moment of hesitation and a brief lapse of silence, Subaru stuttered out this prepared line.

It would have been perfect if his lips were still smiling and his shoulders weren’t shuddering.

But,

[Subaru: ......a]

His cheeks grew stiff, and he was trembling all the way to the tips of his fingers, nevermind his shoulders.

It was as if the Natsuki Subaru reflected within Beatrice’s eyes was fixed in place, trapped within the confines of that world.

[Beatrice: As you wish, I will say it again, I suppose]

[Subaru: No, wait......]

[Beatrice: ――Betty wants to be ended by your hands]

[Subaru: STOP IT!!]

Screaming, Subaru shouted over Beatrice’s words.

It was almost comical how they’ve switched places from just moments before.

These were the same words Beatrice had shouted when Subaru relentlessly pushed his discoveries upon her.

And so, Subaru didn’t exactly have the right to complain when Beatrice did the same to him. Yet, even though he knew he had no right,

[Subaru: Do you... even realize... what you’ve just said......?]

[Beatrice: I should be asking you. Do you understand what I’ve just asked of you, I suppose?]

[Subaru: What?]

[Beatrice: I want you to be the one to bring about the end of this spirit, Beatrice. You will be “that person” who marks the end of the contract that, for four hundred years, has bound me]

“You should take that as a compliment”, she seemed to say with her strange, ironic smile.

It was a smile that seemed to be thirsting for something―― watching her, Subaru felt like twisted claws were tearing his chest from within.

Unable to bear it, he clutched his hand to his heart,

[Subaru: I don’t understand...... are you telling me you want to die?]

[Beatrice: Do I want to die? Strictly speaking, no, I suppose. Betty wishes for the contract to end. Betty wants to be released from this everlasting covenant]

[Subaru: If that means taking your life, how is that any different!!]

Stamping down his foot, Subaru screamed from his trembling lungs.

He was trampling on the scattered Gospel pages, but he didn’t care.

Jabbing out his finger, Subaru glared at Beatrice and barked.

[Subaru: Don’t talk about wanting to die like it’s some joke! Wanting to die or whatever...... I don’t care what you say to other people...... just don’t say it in front of me!]

Once you’re dead, you won’t come back to life.

Natsuki Subaru was the exception, and could start over even if he died. Only Subaru could throw away his life and still come out with something of value, and so only Subaru could justify suicide.

But that was not the case for Beatrice. Nor anyone else, for that matter.

Once life is lost, it can never be retrieved.

Knowing this, she still said it to Subaru’s face.

[Subaru: What do you mean you want it to end!? Do you realize how selfish that is!? Asking for an end...... trying to die, even if everyone else forgives you I won’t forgive you for it!]

[Beatrice: What an arrogant thing to say, I suppose. ――And just how much do you know about Betty?]

Nevertheless, Beatrice gave him this cold and unyielding reply.

She smoothed out her dress, stood up, and ran her fingers against the tips of her curls,

[Beatrice: Betty is the Keeper of Knowledge, and has been watching over the Forbidden Library for four hundred years. For four hundred years...... in accordance to the contract, Betty has waited here]

[Subaru: Four... hundred years......?]

That number again? Subaru wanted to click his tongue and furrow his brows.

Four hundred years ago was an age when the Witches ran rampant, a contemptible era which seems to have at least something to do with every long-living being he knew.

Beatrice, too, had lived through that age, and still lives on to this day.

[Beatrice: I sealed my contract with the Witch, and came to live with the similarly-contracted House of Mathers. From the beginning, I followed the Gospel’s instruction, and simply passed the days in silence, waiting for that time to come]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Beatrice: But while I waited here, time in the outside world went on, I suppose. One by one, the heads of the House of Mathers, who shared in my obligations, died of old age and was succeeded by the next. I witnessed their transfers of power, yet Betty’s time flowed on, unchanging, I suppose]

And how painful must that time have been for Beatrice?

Her dispassionate tone only seemed to be a reflection of the abrasions left by the meaningless passage of time, driving a chill into Subaru’s heart as he listened.

[Beatrice: The destined coming of the promised day―― Betty didn’t know when it would come, or who “that person” would be, and I passed those days without knowing anything]

“But even so”, Beatrice shook her head,

[Beatrice: It never worried me, I suppose. After all, the Gospel was in Betty’s hands. As long as I place my faith in the Gospel that records the future, and wait for the coming day to appear on its white pages, then all will be well in the end. If I only waited, that time will surely come...... I went on believing that]

[Subaru: But......]

Looking down at the pages trampled under his feet, Subaru felt the cruelty of their pristine whiteness. As if sensing the meaning of Subaru’s gaze, Beatrice nodded.

In fact, before she knew it, the Gospel that was meant to be her beacon of hope, had――

[Beatrice: Every day, checking time after time, the instruction did not change...... until even the time spent checking was too painful]

[Subaru: ............]

[Beatrice: How many times I’ve dreamt of new words appearing on the page after the final entry, I suppose. Time and time again, I envisioned the day when that unknown “person” would come to visit Betty, when I would have finally fulfilled the role given to me]

[Subaru: ......Beatrice]

[Beatrice: The House of Mathers is not without its visitors, I suppose. Many humans have visited Betty’s Forbidden Library, and many have touched the Forbidden Library’s door...... but each time, Betty’s heart would be betrayed]

And the one who opened the door was not “that person”.

So many times, she was disappointed, and so many times, her hopes were dashed. Over and over, her betrayed expectations must have worn down her heart until her eyes were buried in apathy.

Time and time again, Beatrice’s hopes came to nothing. And now, even that hope was lost. She could no longer endure the pain of being hoisted up within reach of her hopes, only to be cast to the ground once more.

It was only natural that her heart, which had endured so much, would begin to tear.

[Beatrice: It was during that time, that I realized...... or maybe, I had realized it long ago, I suppose]

[Subaru: Realized what?]

[Beatrice: The Gospel will never show Betty another instruction]

Beatrice folded her knees, and picked up the fallen cover of the Gospel. Emptied of its pages, the binding just seemed extraordinarily lonely.

Lifting it up, she traced her fingers over the cover, and began again, [Did you know, I suppose?],

[Beatrice: That the Gospel records its owner’s future? The less its owner deviates from the world’s memories, the clearer its details will be]

[Subaru: The world’s memories......?]

[Beatrice: The Memories of the World, I suppose. ――It knows not only the world that is now and that was past, but also the future that is to come. It is a forbidden book that draws necessary knowledge from the Book of Wisdom. Whereas the Gospel merely inherited a portion of its functionalities]

Echidona herself had called the Book of Wisdom the “Memories of the World”.

Indeed, there was no doubt that there existed some close connection between Echidona and Beatrice. There, Beatrice held up the black binding, as if to show it to Subaru,

[Beatrice: The false Gospels in the Witch Cultists’ possession operate on the same principle, I suppose. While their accuracy marks their only difference, their algorithms are based on this one’s]

[Subaru: ......How did this technology leak after Echidona’s death? Shouldn’t you and Roswaal have the only two existing Gospels?]

[Beatrice: Who knows. I don’t really care, I suppose. Whoever created these false copies, and whoever they are giving it to, it has nothing to do with Betty]

[Subaru: Then why did you bring up the Witch Cult?]

[Beatrice: Because there’s something I need to do with a Witch Cult Gospel, I suppose. Don’t go jumping to conclusions]

Unfazed by Subaru’s challenge, Beatrice replied calmly. Then, she asked him, [You have a Witch Cult Gospel yourself, I suppose?].

Subaru nodded in reply.

[Subaru: I don’t have it here. I took it with me into the Sanctuary, and it’s safe there for now. As for the ones we picked up from the other Witch Cultists, we left them in more capable hands]

The only Gospel in Subaru’s possession was the one that belonged to Petelgeuse.

Most of the other Gospels, owned by Petelgeuse’s fingers, were destroyed by the Cultists in their final moments, while the few that they managed to salvage were handed over to Crusch’s camp to be dealt with accordingly.

In fact, if everything had gone according to plan, they were supposed to have fetched Roswaal from the Sanctuary and met up with Crusch and Anastasia’s camps to divide the spoils of their victory over Petelgeuse and the White Whale.

The large droplets trickled down her cheeks, and dripped from her chin to the floor. Every drop striking upon the ground was a merciless shock ramming into Subaru’s heart,

[Beatrice: You want to help me!? Save me!? Then why didn’t you come sooner!? Why did you abandon Betty!? If you say those gentle words now, then why didn’t you keep hold of Betty from the start!? Why did you let go!? Why! Why! Why did you leave Betty all alone!?]

Her words were like daggers, like flames, like steel, and each left a wound on Subaru’s heart. In every sense, and in every way, every ounce of pain they carried tore at Subaru.

But Beatrice’s claims were all too unreasonable.

Four hundred years――for the greater part of that time she spent alone Subaru had no say in the matter. Subaru had only met her two months ago, and, going by her standards, he would have been too late no matter how quickly he came to her. If he wanted to protest, he could have simply said that.

But there was no point in protesting, because who could that possibly help?

Whether it was Beatrice or Subaru, it wouldn’t help anyone.

Only now, was Subaru made aware of how he had neglected how much time the girl Beatrice spent waiting.

Four hundred years. ――It was four hundred years.

On the surface, there seemed to be nothing significant about that number.

In fantasy fictions, four hundred years isn’t even that big of a number. There are stories with more ridiculous year counts, even ones that span the entire history of the world. Compared to those, four hundred years is nothing.

But was he an idiot? Was he really an idiot? How hopelessly stupid did he have to be?

In front of a girl who had spent an actual four hundred years alone, kept at a loss as to the purpose of her existence like some unanswerable riddle, how much of it could he possibly fathom from those three simple words? How much could he understand? How much could he feel?

And just how much could Subaru’s flimsy words heal her of her four hundred years of loneliness?

[Beatrice: Asking for help...... wanting things to change...... that wish had already withered in those four hundred years, I suppose......]

[Subaru: ............]

[Beatrice: Did you think you were the only person who tried to take Betty away? Betty is a High Spirit. In search of that power, countless humans have endeavored to take Betty from this place]

It was the first he had heard of this. That there had been humans just like Subaru who tried to make Beatrice leave the Forbidden Library. As for whether they succeeded, her presence here was answer enough.

Seeing Beatrice watch him with her feeble gaze, Subaru quickly shook his head,

[Subaru: D-don’t group me along with those guys! I just want to......]

[Beatrice: Like you, there were also those among their number who did not care about Betty’s power, who merely wanted to save a person in front of their eyes...... naive as that may be, I suppose]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Beatrice: But none of them could bring Betty out of this place. It was only natural, I suppose]

“After all”, Beatrice sighed with a faint, ephemeral smile,

[Beatrice: The contract binding Betty to this place cannot be abolished by such half-baked convictions. The contract that has bound Betty to her task for four hundred years...... is not so easily broken by mere human whims]

[Subaru: Then... what will I have to......]

[Beatrice: ――Put Betty above all else]

The words she said to him were so quiet, and yet so sharp.

So sharp that they were like needles puncturing into Subaru’s eardrums.

[Subaru: Wh, at......?]

[Beatrice: Put Betty above all else. Think first of Betty. Choose Betty over everything. And thus overwrite the contract. Paint it over. And erase it from existence. Take Betty from here. Lead me by the hand. And embrace me]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Beatrice: That is something you will never be capable of]

That was Beatrice’s true, desperate, and heartfelt wish.

A far too heavy request, and one not easily granted.

[Beatrice: You have already chosen who is foremost in your heart, I suppose. Whether it’s the silver-haired girl, or the blue-haired maid...... either way, you will never cast those two aside and put Betty above them. It simply cannot be]

[Subaru: Emilia...... Rem......]

[Beatrice: The contract is absolute. Absolute, I suppose. Aside from fulfilling its terms, it is impossible to replace a sealed contract without paying the corresponding price. Betty does not believe that the promise has been fulfilled, I suppose. And so, the only way to be released other than by fulfilling the contract is......!]

At the mention of the two girls, it was as if something hard had struck Subaru’s heart.

Whenever he thought of them, Subaru’s heart would pound, scream, and burst into heat. It was already the immutable reply carved into his very soul.

[Beatrice: So, break Betty’s contract...... and destroy this useless body drifting through the meaningless flow of time......]

[Subaru: Your contract...... is it really that important to you? If you hate it so much...... can’t you will yourself to change it......?]

Unable to answer her, he didn’t know what to say to Beatrice.

And so, Subaru took the cowardly approach and chose to divert her question away.

In that instant, a color of disappointment flickered across Beatrice’s pupils. And Subaru immediately realized that he had made a fatal mistake.

[Beatrice: That is...... Betty’s reason to live]

[Subaru: The contract......?]

[Beatrice: Betty was born for this contract, and lives for this contract. It was the task I was given at my birth, a contract I have never fulfilled for as long as I have lived...... and you want me to selfishly break it...... is that what you’re saying, I suppose?]

[Subaru: It’s not selfish at all! You’ve already tried your best for four hundred years, didn’t you!? Who can blame you when you’ve stayed true to your promise for so long!? Who’d have the right to? You’ve already done enough......!]

[Beatrice: And accomplished nothing! If I throw away the purpose of my existence and the reason I was born for, what will I have to live for!? No one will blame me!? Betty will blame herself! The Spirit Beatrice will never forgive such a cowardly way to live!!]

Subaru stomped with his trembling legs and grabbed the small girl by her shoulders, shouting. But the girl looked up and screamed back even louder, breaking away once more. The strength of the frail little girl pushed Subaru’s body backwards.

Powerless. What did she mean? He couldn’t understand what he was seeing.

[Beatrice: To spirits, contracts are absolute! A contract sealed between contractor and spirit is the most important thing there is! It’s the same with Nii-cha! Why else do you think he puts that silver-haired girl above everything else! He places her above everything! He loves her above everything! Between Betty and that girl, he wouldn’t think twice about choosing her! Not even Nii-cha would put Betty first!]

As a fellow spirit, there was no one closer to Beatrice than Puck.

It was a friendship that had developed over four hundred years in each other’s company, one far beyond what human lifespans could possibly manage.

What must Beatrice have thought of Puck? And what did Puck think of Beatrice? Subaru couldn’t be sure.

But Beatrice herself already had the answer to that question.

Beatrice had more than enough time to contemplate the answer.

Panting, her shoulders shuddering, even her neat curls have become disheveled. Enormous tear drops emerged in her large, round eyes, and her trembling lips were still repeating her desperate plea.

So small, she’s only a child, Subaru thought.

How could anyone leave a little girl like this?

[Beatrice: You...... aren’t the person mentioned in the contract. I know that, I suppose......]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Beatrice: But can you become “that person” for me? Or, if not become that person, then use some other way to save Betty, I suppose?]

[Subaru: ――――]

His answer never came.

He couldn’t make her some casual promise, or impulsively refuse her.

In the short time he spent here, Subaru had managed to understand just a small portion of the mystery that was Beatrice.

Yet, if he were to truly understand her loneliness, he would have had to pass four hundred years in solitude just like she had.

But something like that was fundamentally impossible for a human. Her distress, her loneliness, and her sorrow were too far beyond Subaru’s reach.

[Beatrice: Betty knows better than anyone just how impossible that is]

[Subaru: Beatrice......]

[Beatrice: So please, kill Betty. With your own hands. Suicide is a violation of the contract, so a spirit is forbidden to do so, I suppose. So even dying is something I can’t do myself]

[Subaru: But why... me......?]

Reaching out her hands, Beatrice pleaded once more.

Hesitating before her outstretched hands and afraid that he might give in to her request, Subaru covered his face with his palms,

[Subaru: Your death, at the end of four hundred years... why are you leaving it to me......?]

[Beatrice: Why...... I suppose]

Sobbing, whimpering, evading, Beatrice could have slapped down Subaru’s question. But she chose not to.

As if she herself didn’t know the reason, she slightly tilted her head.

And after a small lapse of silence, she slowly nodded.

[Beatrice: ――Yes, I think I know]

[Subaru: ............]

[Beatrice: Betty... wants to leave her death to you...... because]

If he listened to her answer, he would have no escape.

Of that, he was certain. He lifted his head. If he doesn’t plug his ears and refuse to listen to her answer, unless he holds a hand over her mouth and prevents her from speaking――

But he was too late. He had noticed it too late. There was no way he could stop it now.

Beatrice’s lips shall announce the answer.

And, in that moment――

[???: Sorry to interrupt when you’re in the middle of your conversation]

Hearing a voice that he should not have heard, a chill ran down Subaru’s spine as he spun around where he stood.

And there, he saw it.

[???: ――What if I were to become “that person” for you, I suppose?]

Holding two blood-drenched Kukri-knives dangling at her side, a jet-black murderer stood at the doorway.

-=Chapter 61 End=-