Arc 6 – 76, 'The Hell Bearing the Name of Oneself”

Arc 6 – Chapter 76, “The Hell Bearing the Name of Oneself”

“ーーーー”

ーーWith the young girl who had experienced『Return by Death』and was sobbing with her hands on her head before his eyes, Natsuki Subaru intently stared at his own palm.

It was not as if he was feeling hurt after having been called a monster, after having been spoken ill of.

That he was crazy. That it was impossible to withstand, he agreed with those notions as well.

Subaru himself, had died countless times until now.

He was aware of something as basic as those experiences being unordinary. But he had simply gritted his teeth, and endured it.

Believing with all his heart that it would be better for him to suffer than the death of someone aside from himself, a friend or an acquaintance, people whose names and faces he did not know, his precious comrades or the people he loved.

That wasーー,

Subaru: “ーーYeah, I sure am amazing, right, Natsuki Subaru.”

Tightly clenching the fist he had been gazing, Subaru『Sang His Own Praises』from the bottom of his heart.

He had been commended, through loose-lipped logic impossible to be held true. Such words had been used as if to console oneself, or for encouraging oneself.

However, the『Singing His Own Praises』just now had been different.

The『Memories』and『Real Experience』which had observed the existence named Natsuki Subaru terribly objectively, were commending the path oneself had walked until now.

Subaru: “Dang. I’m unexpectedly a pretty big deal, huh.”

And that was something which『Natsuki Subaru』, who had lost his『Memories』and had returned to the starting point of being summoned into the different world, and ultimately reached this point after taking a deep read of the『Books of the Dead』, could also be told.

Starting from being ignorant with regards to the different world, accumulating personal experiences of『Death』sufficient to equal the single year Subaru had lived through, and had returned without letting his heart shatter into pieces, impressively.

Thanks to that, the lost『Memories』and the『Memories』thereafter had been unified.

Subaru: “Meili, Shaula, entrusted to me, and I will take responsibility for them.”

Meili, for whom murder had become a habit, and had locked herself into a dark future.

Shaula, who had been liberated from a vain wait which lasted for four hundred years, and wished to continue the blessed present.

Subaru: “Ram and Julius, both of them sure act unreasonably. For those two to be doing that, that’s quite a feat.”

Ram, who already knew the best possible option, and displayed prudence more reliable than anyone.

Julius, who had lost his own resort, yet embraced faith and still resumed holding the sword.

Subaru: “Beatrice and Echidna, I’ve really been a bother to them as well. Geez, I’m such a......”

Beatrice, who dedicatedly supported Subaru, and noticed the limits of his heart before anyone else.

Echidna, who was utmost suspicious regarding Subaru’s amnesia, and had granted him forgiveness at its extremity.

“ーーーー”

And, no matter if he lost his『Memories』, no matter how many times he redid, he ultimately returned to the path of being drawn towards you.

He wanted to do that. He must do that. He could not think of any other path.

That is how much, you areーー,

Subaru: “ーーEMT.”

With love and certain tranquility on his lips, Subaru raised his face.

And looked at Louis, who still had her face covered and was shivering.

Subaru: “Hey.”

Louis: “Eek ~hk!”

Subaru: “......You’re too scared.”

Subaru scratched his cheek with a single finger upon her being excessively frightened by a single call.

She was a young girl with an outward appearance which could unobjectionably be called young. The form of that young girl shivering in fear, desperately rejecting the world was a sight heavy to the chest. It seemed she had been endowed with something akin to fleeting fragility which would make one thoughtlessly extend a hand to her, by birth.

Surely, an attainment of the nature to undo the opponent’s vigilance and crawling into their interior. ーーThat could perhaps be, a crystal pure like a child that had been coercively refined.

That Louis Arneb, who did not know of the world, was like an innocent, pure child.

Howeverーー,

Subaru: “ーーLouis Arneb, you lose.”

ーーNatsuki Subaru shall not forgive Louis Arneb, who was sobbing like a child.

“ーーーー”

Louis widened her eyes, frozen, upon the verification of defeat that had been slammed right before her.

Whilst witnessing fear fill her eyes like ink spilled on a white sheet, Subaru’s heart yet remained peaceful like the calm at sea.

The world was not filled with problems that could be ignored simply because of not knowing. And the deeds Louis or her siblings had committed were countless inhuman and demonic atrocities.

It was not as if she did not get a chance to know. Through the『Memories』of others, she must have also had a chance to come in contact with human emotions, likes and dislikes and learn from them.

However, what she absorbed from there was not something akin to affection for others, but a further dusky, grisly desire, and the conduct of trampling upon and spitting on the effortful lives of others.

Perhaps the fault was that of her teachers. Her elder brothers, had been bad role models of her life.

However, it was her decision to never use any chance to return back from the mistaken path.

Subaru: “You may know as well if you were a part of me. But the ranks which you all...... Sin Archbishops name yourself as is common with the seven deadly sins. “Seven deadly sins” is a pretty english term for chuunibyou purveyors, but there also exist the “Seven heavenly virtues” which are something close it.”

The seven deadly sins,『Pride』『Envy』『Wrath』『Gluttony』『Sloth』『Lust』『Greed』.

And the seven heavenly virtues,『Chastity』『Humility』『Temperance』『Patience』『Diligence』『Charity』『Kindness』.

If the seven deadly sins were karma impossible to be sundered from humans as long as they live, then these were seven conventions which mustn’t be forgotten in order for humans carrying the burden of those sins to live with others.

Because they respect that, humans can live with other humans.

Subaru: “But, you all...... you, violated that.”

That is why, the Sin Archbishops, Louis Arneb had become an unforgivable great evil.

Louis: “Eek, eek, eek......”

The frightened, curled up Louis was struck with Subaru’s words and was shivering as if she had experienced agony.

The slightest effort of others, of the world connected to fear. Subaru was also aware of that sensation.

Having tasted the other-worldly sensation called『Return by Death』, in a situation of not knowing how to surmount the obstacle however much one may『Die』, even the sound of dry leaves swaying in the breeze seemed fatal to life.

Because he remembered that feeling akin to the soul being frozen, Subaru closed his eyes.

And,

Subaru: “Louis Arneb, you lose.”

“ーーーー”

Subaru: “So, recognise that and release anything and everything.”

Once again, Subaru repeated her defeat such that she could hear it herself. On top of that, he pushed a firm demand toward the young girl, who remained silent upon hearing that.

The return of Subaru’s own『Memories』was due to the chance meeting between Natsuki Subaru, who lost his memories, and Natsuki Subaru of the moment immediately previous to his memories being robbedーー since his advance through the different world was replayed in the『Books of the Dead』, he was able to restore his own memories in the from of tracing them back.

In the form of re-experiencing the stolen『Memories』by utilising the『Books of the Dead』.

And fulfilling the unification of Subaru before and after losing『Memories』, the result was the successful second advent of Natsuki Subaru.

As it’s byproduct, Louis, who had gotten into Subaru in the form of a Witch Factor, had been forced out as a foreign substance. However Subaru had witnessed with his own eyes, her self-indulgent treatment of the stolen『Memories』of freely bringing them out and peeling them off.

If that was possible then a method to save the people who had their『Memories』, their『Names』robbed would beーー,

Subaru: “If we think of doing it, then we can do anything is what you said, right. Then......”

From being conceited and bragging about her own abilities, she had even succeeded in a stunt like splitting the Witch Factor into two.

Since she had achieved that, then surely it wasn’t impossible for her to cancel out the effects of her own Authority. If that, that alone, could come true, then perhapsーー,

ーーIt would be possible to recover the people who got their『Memories』and『Name』stolen, to recover Rem.

Subaru: “Then, release all of the people you’ve eaten up until now. If you do that......”

Louis: “......Do that, then what?”

“ーーーー”

Subaru articulated powerfully, but Louis shortly intercepted that voice.

Louis remained on white floor in the posture of pulling her knees towards herself, making her long, long golden hair spreading out on the floor blanket herself, she was glaring at Subaru through the gaps of her hair.

What dwelled in her eyes, was the sole unquestionable hue of fear.

Louis: “Do that, then what?”

Repeating, Louis piled up the same question yet again.

Subaru had been caught off guard by her retort for a moment, but got a hold of himself immediately after she displayed her stance of conversation. Far better than her not talking due to fear.

He must accept the words head-on and fumble around for a compromise plan that could change the situation.

Subaru: “Release the great number of people, you have eaten. If the『Names』return, then even the honour of the people who’ve already died can be restored. The people who are alive, can even reunite with their families. If you would do that, then I will let you......”

Louis: “ーーOff the hook, you say? If we do that, then onii-san will let us off the hook? Off the hook, you say?”

His words intercepted yet again, Subaru felt daunted.

Viewing that reaction of Subaru’s, Louis said “Hah” and opened her mouth bearing sharp fangs,

Louis: “That can’t be, isn’t it! That isn’t possible!”

Energetically lifting her face, Louis shouted with a blazing glint in her eyes.

Her two eyes glaring at Subaru, they immutably remained soaked in fear, twinkling darkly.

With those dark twinkles in her eyes, Louis forcefully rocked her body back and forth,

Louis: “It isn’t! It really isn’t, it isn’t after all, it indeed isn’t, we’re telling you it isn’t, as it isn’t, as we know it isn’t, that’s why! Onii-san will not let us off the hook! Absolutely certainly! After all”

“ーーーー”

Louis: “Onii-san, destroys his enemies! Absolutely crushes them until the very end of the end! Without any exception! Completely thoroughly! Closes it with a perfect game! He can do that! Then there’s no way he wouldn’t do that! There’s no point in him not doing that!”

As if having heard a first-class joke, Louis ended her silence and let her emotions explode.

And to Subaru, Louis’ outbursting form was visible as terribly distant, minute.

Louis’ facial expression was disordered, trying to laugh, trying to be angered, trying to be doleful, and baffled by the notation of fear not present in any of those, she was perplexed and was imploring.

“ーーーー”

The gateways of all of Louis’ surging emotions, all directly connected to『Fear』.

Regardless of whether they began with delight, rage or sadness. Knowing that all would ultimately lead to『Fear』, for what should she be delighted, be enraged, be saddened.

Even if she were to believe, that conclusion led to『Fear』as well.

Subaru was more than sufficiently aware of the ingrained nature of Louis’ rejection. Cursing the entirety of the world, being flung into a storm of suspicion and distrust, becoming trapped in a sensation of being forbid into the slightest movement.

That was, the hell named oneself which Natsuki Subaru had also experienced.

What pulled Subaru out of that hopeless hell, was surely because there had been someone who held his hand, and that warmth never let go of Subaru.

That was, the silver-haired young girl who had saved Subaru’s life, his heart when he had first arrived in the different world.

The truth was, Louis and『Louis’』 plans had transitioned smoothly. Louis experienced『Return by Death』inside Subaru and stimulated the separation of Subaru and『Natsuki Subaru』by putting wickedness to work.

And whilst staying behind in the『Hall of Memories』,『Louis』shall eat Subaru who had differentiated himself from『Natsuki Subaru』and make the Authority her own belonging. A single step had remained.

And even if that had not went wellーー,

‘Louis’: “ーーNo matter how many times, tens of times, hundreds of times! The arrangement was to challenge until the Authority of『Return by Death』has been looted, isn’t it! What’s wrong after failing a bit! It’ll be fine by stealing onii-san’s『Memories』again and trying again no matter how many times it takes. Let’s mutually exchange roles and challenge, no matter how many times how many times it takes! Failures, can be recovered from!”

The one to assimilate as a Witch Factor, and the one to stand by in the『Hall of Memories』, she had intended to accomplish the complete extortion of the Authority by exchanging roles and regardless how many times it would take, without getting tired of it.

And yetーー,

‘Louis’: “ーーAnd yet, to do something like rejecting us, what happened huh!”

Louis: “NOOOOooooーー ~tsu!”

‘Louis’: “Wo, ah!”

With strength poured into the arm which had grasped her hair, Louis gave rise to a screech in agony and fear. Afterwards she shoved the chest of『Louis』who was before her eyes, making her other half rumble in pain and fall onto her back.

Mutually glaring at each other with eyes of disbelief, a painful silence fell upon the white world. And, whilst Louis remained silent,『Louis』widened her eyes and,

‘Louis’: “It can’t be...... aiming to monopolise the Authority?”

Louis: “ーーーー”

‘Louis’: “Since the Authority of『Return by Death』was obtained successfully, erasing onii-san immediately and aiming to enjoy it by oneselves? Leaving us as is, too.”

Louis: “T-That’s wrong ~tsu!”

Louis bellowed before the frozen『Louis』, who had painted a picture of repulsive misgivings in astonishment, in shock. That was not true at all. It was improbable. She had not thought in the slightest bit, to monopolise this.

Something like this, if it was possible to throw it away then she wished to throw it away. However, she could not do so.

For these were the『Memories』of nobody, but『Louis Arneb』. Oneself’s own『Memories』were impossible to be erased. Impossible to be stolen. Impossible to be taken in and out.

‘Everything distressful, everything painful, bear all of it by yourself. ーーDon’t run away, from the『Memories』.’

Louis: “Eek.”

So she had been told by that thing just previously.

What was experienced by oneself, what path was walked by oneself, could not be erased. Having certainly taken birth within Louis, that was the history of『Louis Arneb』herself.

‘Louis’: “This is no joke ~tsu! Something like this, as if it can be excused......!”

She had wanted to become happy. She had wanted to attain a joyful life that was hers alone.

However, the life solely belonging to her which she had attained in an unexpected form smashed Louis’ ■ーー『Heart』into pieces, and wounded her to an irrecoverable extent.

『Louis』was unable to comprehend, Louis fearing the wounds and abrasion of her heart.

‘Louis’: “As if we’ll let someone like you, monopolise our means to become happy!”

Louis: “That’s wrong! That’s wrong that’s wrong that’s wrong that’s wro~o~o~o~ng! That’s not it! That is not it! That’s definitely not i~t!”

‘Louis’: “As if we can believe that! We never thought, that we’d be betrayed by us. As expected of us, isn’t it, us! That’s right. We get it, we get it. Hm hm, we do get it!”

Louis: “No! Don’t get it at all! Don’t get it at all! Don’t get our feelings at all ~tsu!”

‘Louis’: “No, do get it indeed! After all, it is about us. That’s right. If it’s for the sake of becoming happy then we’d be willing to do anything, and must do anything! Joyfulness, is something which keeps on keeps on declining by the slightest thing!”

『Louis』bounced and joined her hands before her slim chest. And with a magnificent, broad smile, she directed a sidelong glance towards Louis who articulated her rejection in a tearful voice.

‘Louis’: “What if, we carelessly schemed wickedness? If that’s done to us by us, who have attained『Return by Death』, then no matter how much the struggle we can never win, isn’t it! Amazing! Really put thought into it, isn’t it!”

Louis: “Don’t want to die! We don’t want to die! Don’t want to die don’t want to die don’t want to die~e~e~e~!”

‘Louis’: “Don’t say such utterly obvious lies! Don’t want to die? Why? How come? If it’s unneeded then hand it over to us! What a filthy desire to monopolise...... can’t even think that it’s us!”

Louis: “ーーーー”

From『Louis’』words, she was repudiated being the same existence.

At that instant, Louis felt like she heard the note of something inside of her thirsting, cracking, shattering. She did know, what had been present inside of her which shattered.

Though she did not knowーー,

‘Louis’: “ーーNatsuki Subaru belongs to us. This, thieving cat.”

Despite not knowing what that thing was whatsoever, it was condescendingly called as a belonging.

Even though the only one who truly comprehended what thing was, was only herself, how arbitrary a thing to say.

ーーThe only one who truly comprehended that thing, was herself alone.

Louis: “ーーThe only one who understands Natsuki Subaru is us. This, foolish girl.”

That thing was fearsome. That thing was repulsive. That thing, was abhorrent.

That is whyーー,

‘Louis’: “ーーLet us taste it tooーー ~tsu!!”

『Louis』pounced, advancing in order to purloin the『Memories』which made Louis, Louis.

To hand that over, would resort to give the meaning of it being the『Death』of Louis Arneb.

Giving the meaning, of『Death』. ーーGiving the meaning, of the world witnessed by that thing.

Louis: “Ah, a~a~a~a~a~a~hーー ~tsu!!”

Screamed. Screamed. Screaming, screaming, screaming, she screamed.

Continuing to scream, whilst screaming, whilst resuming screaming, whilst continuing to raise a screaming voiceーー,

“ーーDon’t want to die.”

An exceedingly fierce, meaningless conflict commenced in the『Hall of Memories』.

A conflict with nobody watching, nobody interested.

Commenced, and ended. ーーA conflict, devoid of victors.

△▼△▼△▼△

???: “ーーIce Brand Arts!!”

The instant those words were fired, she tightly gripped to sensation born within her palm and swung it completely. What had been generated in her hands was a longsword shaped with ice and it’s cutting ability was far greater than that of some incomplete iron sword.

Though she had only just begun practicing the sword, moving her body was her specialty. Swinging the ice sword atop the extended line, she attempted to land a fatal blow upon her opponent whilst sealing off his routes to escape.

Howeverーー,

???: “Hahaha~! You’re doing i~t! But, this is far from too far from being enough to land, gee~z!”

???: “ーー~hk!”

The enemy, with his long hair waving about, evaded her fatal strike by seemingly crawling on the ground.

Glaring with his sharp cuspids unraveled, was the Sin Archbishop of『Gluttony』who named himself as Ley Batenkaitos.

Upon hearing the name of Sin Archbishop, something akin to dislike swelled up within her.

That was because approximately a month ago, clashing with a great number of Sin Archbishops in the Watergate City Priestella had led to a large number of settlements, as well as a large number of settlements being delayed, at any rate, led to mountain worth of grave happenings.

Plentiful emotions of sadness or bitterness had been born forth.

Their elimination or solution had yet not been achieved, that is why everyone was doing their best, and yet.

???: “Why, do you all act like this andーー!”

Ley: “Why? Why indeed? Why we wonder? Why is it why? Why must it be why we wonder? Why is it what we certainly wonde~r? Why must what be why? Why is what why is why is why eh!”

His teasing words possessed no echo of seriousness, her opponent did not intend to give a proper response.

Sensing that, she powerfully stiffened her cheeks. Being able to converse would be the best. However, should the opponent not comply with conversation, then she shall not hesitate any further.

That resolute exchange, certainly occurred with clarity during that moment.

???: “ーーIcicle Line.”

Ley: “Wow.”

Accompanying the chant, a sound of freezing space echoed from her rear. Countless ice stakes with sharp tips were born in the air, signifying they were ready to be fired.

Gazing at that, Ley’s composure, yet, remained unchanged. With no strong feelings for that, she merely commenced the offensive abiding by her frozen fighting spirit.

“ーーーー”

The count of the fired ice stakes was close to, but no greater than, a hundred.

Submerging the aisle seemingly constructed of stone, the dust of the ice which had impacted the floor, the walls, the ceiling fluttered about and the space frozen white brought immense damage upon the one who had been immensely hit.

Howeverーー,

Ley: “Sorry, onee-san. We’re tired of seeing that...... is something we won’t say, but we have seen it. See, because we are genius after a~ll, we don’t think an attack that has already been seen once will hit!”

Swinging the daggers fastened to both of his hands, Ley laughed, having outdone the terrific attack of ice.

She inhaled in astonishment, witnessing his talent and skill, and having withstood and outdone it as a matter of fact, as he stood completely unwounded. However, if he had outdone it once, then twice, thrice, if that still won’t work, then even more.

Ley: “You’re thinking you’ll be able to win if you do it a hundred times? It will not reach through even after you do it a thousand times, you know?”

???: “Then I’ll just do it ten thousand times! I won’t let you go where everyone is!”

Ley: “Ahaha ~tsu, well that sure is a large scale! Good gracious, how outrageou~s!”

Putting his hand on his forehead, Ley let out a sigh divided into disgust and irritation. Whilst viewing that, she quietly abided by her own words.

Though she had pronounced those words whilst simply going with the flow, she must abide by them.

Thus, the moment she attempted to step ahead and fulfill thatーー,

???: “ーーLey Batenkaitos!!”

“ーーーー”

From the rear echoed a voice in the aisle that was neither her’s nor Ley’s, leading her to thoughtlessly halt her feet. Upon looking back after being immediately lured by the voice, a shadow showed itself by the corner of the path and leapt into her field of her vision.

That was a black-haired youth with a somewhat nasty look of eyes. He rushed into the battlefield with a gallant expression, and was looking at Ley and herself, who were sparring in the aisle.

???: “Ah......”

Suddenly, “oh no” was the thought which surfaced in her innermost mind.

Though she must say something, a vacuum was born in her words. This was due to the various emotions which overflowed in face of the rushing youth.

However, before『Bafflement』was yielded in front of the youth, she hurriedly moved her lips,

???: “Its dangerous so wait! Um, you may not, know about me, but he is the enemy! Leave this place to me! Even though you may not, know about me!”

She wished for him to leave this place, and for him to not think of herself much.

At the very least, right now at the present instant, should she begin considering things aside from fighting, she would certainly burst into tears and cry.

She did not wish to show her weak side like this and trouble everyone.

And yetーー,

???: “ーーIts alright, Emilia-tan.”

The youth who had rushed in called her name.

Emotions she could not concern herself with, like anxiety, like sorrow, strummed and sprang within her chest due to simply that, for which she tried her best to make sure they did flow out.

After allーー,

Subaru: “ーーMy name is Natsuki Subaru. Emilia-tan’s one and only knight!”

Right now,『Emilia’s』heart was beating with such warmth, such warmth.