Arc 7, 30 – 'Self-proclaimed Hero Natsuki Subaru”

Arc 7, Chapter 30 - “Self-proclaimed Hero Natsuki Subaru”

Mizelda’s expression was resolute as she declared that she would give up her position as Chieftain.

The dominance of her wild, strong-eyed beauty had not diminished, and she was still exactly the same as when they had first seen her. Through thick and thin, the impression of her being a strong woman remained the same.

And with that notion still present, having lost her right leg, Mizelda had decided to step down from her position as Chieftain.

Everyone: [――――]

The ones surrounding Mizelda, were the ones who harbored a deep sense of regret.

The People of Shudraq, those who had witnessed Mizelda’s, their Chieftain’s, strength from up close, would not be able to discard their bitterness and sense of loss that easily.

Kuna’s lack of expression was intensified by her usual coldness, next to Holly, whose usual relaxed state was replaced with a somber expression. A teary-eyed Utakata bit her lip and cast her head down, while all the remaining Shudraqians too, displayed gloomy expressions on their faces.

However, the one most shaken up amidst them all――

Taritta: [Oh, sister, it’s impossible. There’s no way someone like me could be a good Chieftain...]

Mizelda: [――Taritta.]

Taritta: [It’s because it’s you, sister, that you were able to do it! I don’t have the ability to do something like that...]

Shaking her head in disagreement, Taritta frantically pleaded.

That she, Mizelda’s younger sister, who had personally been nominated to be the next Chieftain, respected and practically worshipped her elder sister was easy to imagine, based off of every single one her daily words and actions.

For that reason precisely, Taritta was in denial, unable to accept the fact that Mizelda had lost her leg. She appeared even more upset than Mizelda herself was.

Rem: [...It’s because of my inadequacy.]

Taritta’s grief-stricken plea was met by a weak, self-condemning voice.

It came from the other end of the room littered with injured bodies, from Rem, who was in a state of exhaustion, making use of her cane to stand.

She was the sole existence at this place able to use healing magic. Making herself useful, Rem bustled left and right, going from person-to-person endeavoring to save many of the injured. One could only guess from her blood-stained clothes, disheveled hair, and fatigued expression how draining it had been.

Nevertheless, the person in question did not care, and even the appreciative words of Subaru at the beginning had been met with a simple “I’m fine” of dismissal.

Even so, no one had the right to condemn Rem for her lack of strength.

Without her, they would not have been able to attain a result devoid of fatalities from Arakiya’s attack. Everyone understood that much.

Therefore――,

Mizelda: [Rem, there’s no need for you to be worried. I was lucky to get out of the battle with the Imperial General having only lost one of my legs... No, it’s because I had your help.]

Rem: [Mizelda-san... that may be true, but――]

Mizelda: [I’m grateful to you. I have nothing more to say.]

Rem was blocked from speaking any further, as Mizelda repeated her gratitude.

Louis, her long blond hair in disarray, snuggled up beside the silent Rem. As the former gently picked at the hem of the latter’s dress, Rem quietly lowered her gaze, placing her hand on Louis’s shoulder.

The remorse and helplessness that Rem was feeling was painfully obvious to Subaru. But the dark-haired handsome man stepped forward faster than Subaru could say anything.

Abel: [Mizelda, you have no intention to change your mind, do you?]

Abel’s question as he stepped forward was met with a nod from Mizelda, who sat on an object.

As she felt the surface of her amputated, bandaged leg with her fingers, she said,

Mizelda: [Ah, I have no intention to. The pact between the Shudraq and Emperor of Vollachia will be kept. From here on out though, you should ask Taritta... or rather, the Chieftain.]

Abel: [――. I understand. Mizelda, you have done a great service.]

Mizelda: [Mh.]

Mizelda had hardened her resolve to resign and Abel showed his understanding to her answer while folding his arms. With that, Mizelda let out a small breath and showed a wide grin.

With a faint smile, she glanced upward at Abel.

Mizelda: [If it’s going to be that way, show me your smile. It’s the duty of a good-looking man.]

Abel: [――. Hmm.]

Mizelda: [Good enough.]

Despite losing her leg only recently, Mizelda was still much too fierce.

Even Abel, arrogant as he was, did not criticize her for her disrespect, and even smiled at her attitude.

Above all, this was proof that the Emperor, whose throne had been usurped, displayed his respect towards the female warrior who lived in the jungle.

And then――,

Mizelda: [――Listen up, my brethren!]

Mizelda’s smiling face hardened, as she raised her head to speak in a loud voice.

Hearing the fierce sound of her voice, the Shudraq all straightened their posture as to listen carefully.

Mizelda: [As I told you earlier, I am fulfilling my duty as Chieftain! I now hand over the role of Chieftain to my sister, Taritta! Everyone, obey Taritta from now on!]

Shudraqians: [――――]

Mizelda: [This is my last command as Chieftain. ――Thank you for your ancestral vows and ancestral pride.]

Shudraqians: [――Thank you!]

Mizelda concluded, and the Shudraqians seemed to be reciting something.

He knew not of their customs or longstanding practices. But even Subaru, an outsider and a layman, could sense that it was a ritual of succession.

It was short, informal, and a combination of practical and conceptual inheritance.

In this place, the position of Chieftain of the People of Shudraq had been inherited, going from Mizelda to Taritta.

Taritta: [Sister...]

Mizelda: [Don’t lower your head, Chieftain. Your hesitation is our hesitation. Your faltering is our faltering. Your death leads to our death.]

Taritta: [――――]

Approaching her, Mizelda encouraged the new Chieftain, Taritta, the latter’s expression was murky.

That would not make Taritta feel any better at once. However, Taritta must have realized that clinging onto her would not change the situation.

After a few moments of silence, Taritta nodded timidly, and silently.

Mizelda: [――――]

The complex emotions that flitted in Mizelda’s eyes as she saw this, were something that went unnoticed by Taritta as she lowered her head. ――And it was something that no one but her would mention.

△▼△▼△▼△

Subaru: [...To be honest, that was unexpected.]

With the Chieftain’s succession spiel and the damage report concluded, Subaru called out to Abel.

Abel furrowed his brow at being stopped without receiving a concrete subject. Showing displeasure, he then inquired about Subaru’s true intention with a “What was?”,

Abel: [I have much to ponder. You, of all people, should not be bothering me.]

Subaru: [You sure are harsh like always... It’s just that I was surprised. You accepted Mizelda-san leaving the frontlines so readily.]

Abel: [――――]

Subaru: [I thought you’d say that all she lost was one leg for sure. I thought you were going to tell her to work herself to death for you.]

Even though he thought it far too extreme, Subaru declared his honest feelings to Abel.

This was the Emperor who had appended the People of Shudraq to his troops for the sake of reclaiming the throne, and someone who had considered polluting the Fortress City of Guaral with poison, if worst came to worst.

Abel―― no, Vincent Vollachia, was very much willing to do such things.

Abel: [Nonsense. What in the world would be the meaning of being so forceful?]

However, Abel’s response to Subaru, who had been prepared to hurl words of abuse and his true opinion, was calm and sober.

In front of the disappointed Subaru, Abel looked at the Shudraqians conversing in the distance.

Abel: [Well, I do not wish that my subordinates do any more than they are capable of. Even if I order them to do their utmost, it would be delusional to expect them to go any further than their limits.]

Subaru: [――――]

Abel: [If they overperform in comparison to what they had been evaluated as being capable of, the plan shall be thrown into disarray. I simply request nothing more and nothing less than what I demand from my men. And Mizelda has fulfilled her duty. In that case, the only thing I can present her with, is a reward.]

With words, motivate them. With rewards, get them to exceed their abilities. With praise, make them promise to improve next time.

Subaru had always thought, with absolute certainty, that this was how powerful people subjugated their subordinates. Therefore, Abel’s reply was in direct contradiction to what Subaru had in mind.

He would not request labors beyond the capabilities of his subordinates.

It seemed like a good environment for subordinates to work in, albeit simultaneously a lonely one as well.

Abel: [Goes without saying that endeavoring less than what is expected shall be met with punishment. Definite punishment or reward, you do comprehend what it signifies, right?]

Subaru: [...Then, does that mean I’m going to be punished?]

Abel: [If you were my subordinate, that would be correct. But are you my subordinate?]

Staring straight ahead, Subaru’s eyes widened at Abel’s words.

In fact, if someone should be blamed, it should be――,

Subaru: [I wasn’t strong enough.]

Rem: [Eh...]

Subaru: [I didn’t think enough. I should’ve examined things more seriously.]

Upon hearing this answer spat out by Subaru, Rem’s round eyes went wide.

In front of Rem, Subaru clenched his molars with force, and covered his face with both of his hands.

If anyone were to curse the lack of strength, the blame should fall on Subaru.

Subaru: [All of it. It’s my fault.]

Despite the pompous claims of a “bloodless siege”, reality was far from such results.

Arakiya’s intrusion had caused many injuries, and her recovery had brought death to multiple guards. There had been no casualties within their own ranks, but taking into account Mizelda’s missing leg, how could it be called “bloodless”?

He had failed. It was a pile of failures, and the chance for recovery had been lost.

All he wanted was the best possible happy ending, and what Subaru had obtained was either a so-so happy ending or what should be called a so-so bad ending.

To paraphrase Abel’s words from earlier, definite punishment or reward―― castigation ought to follow.

Had Subaru been one of Abel’s men, it would not be strange for him to have his head chopped off.

――Worst-case scenario, he would have to Return by Death.

Thoughts like these crossed his mind.

In that case, he would most likely go back to the most recent point of return, to the time of the bloody battle against Todd in Guaral. ――The fear caused by the recollection of that time made his entire body tremble.

Still, even if he returned to that moment of terror, if he could recover what they had lost――,

Rem: [...Why?]

Suddenly, that word struck the brooding Subaru’s eardrums.

Raising his face immediately, he was met head-on by Rem’s eyes staring right toward him.

Rem’s eyes, which had been moist with remorse until just before, were now staring straight at Subaru, holding even stronger remorse within.

Rem: [Why did it turn into your fault?]

Agitated by Rem’s gaze, more words were piled up upon Subaru, rendered unable to move.

She extended her hand, her eyes damp, and while indicating the devastated City Hall she said,

Rem: [So Mizelda-san’s leg, Louis-chan’s and Utakata-chan’s injuries, Medium-san’s and Flop-san’s wounds, all of it is your fault?]

Subaru: [They are, yes. It wouldn’t have turned out like this if I’d been more careful about my preparations.]

Rem: [You thought of a plan, and your seemingly reckless plan had a proper pay off. You were able to hold the General Second-Class in place, and get them into the city without letting anyone fight. Just like we planned.]

Subaru: [But then after that...]

Rem: [――Who cares about what happened after!?]

At Subaru’s persistence, Rem raised her eyebrows and made her voice louder. Rem quickly turned her face, and because of this, Louis, who was leaning against her, fell into her lap.

Louis jerked slightly and groaned softly, without waking up. While supporting Louis’s shoulder, Rem puffed slightly and looked at Subaru again.

Rem: [No one could’ve foreseen what would happen after that. The appearance of that half-naked woman and her rampage were all unpredictable. So...]

Subaru: [――――]

Rem: [So why are you responsible for all of that?]

Subaru gulped as the question of “why” was once again asked toward him.

If you asked him why, he would think it was the responsibility of one that had power.

In the same way that Rem lamented the lack of power in her own healing magic, Subaru sometimes regretted and lamented the fact that his own Authority could not make up for it. The scope of Return by Death was greater.

The future could improve or worsen, depending on whether Subaru exercised his power.

However――,

Subaru: [It’s...]

――It was a truth that could not be told to another, even if the person was Rem.

It was not restricted to merely Rem.

The authority Subaru wielded, this alone he could not propagate to anyone, no matter how open-minded the other party was. ――No, he was unable to speak of it even to someone he had established an emotional bond with.

If he told them, there was no way he could disclose the truth without possibly causing the death of that person.

He was afraid of pain. The pain brought about from trying to tell someone about Return by Death was terrifying.

Who could get used to that intense pain that gripped one’s heart no matter how many times they experienced it?

But what was truly frightening was not the pain, but the loss.

Was there anything in this world that was more terrifying than loss?

Was it not because of this extreme fear precisely, that this Authority had been granted to Natsuki Subaru?

Rem: [...Why did you protect me?]

Subaru: [Huh...?]

Rem continued to speak as if she had given up on Subaru, the latter silent and unable to answer.

For a moment, Subaru blinked, unsure of what she was talking about.

Rem: [When that half-naked woman attacked me. I knocked down a pillar, and when that didn’t work... That woman came at me, and you stood in front of me.]

In a selfless attempt to save her from being attacked by Arakiya, Subaru had stood in front of Rem.

His hands outstretched, he had been desperate to keep any threat away from Rem. At that moment, Subaru did not care if Arakiya were to take his life.

He wanted Rem to outlive him, for even a second longer.

That was――,

Rem: [The result of your bloodless siege, the fact that you covered for me at that moment, and even the fact that Mizelda-san lost her leg, you’re trying to take on everything on your own...]

Subaru: [――――]

Rem: [You’re not strong enough to do all those things... At first, I was wary of you because of that horrible smell.]

That was where Rem broke off her words, and once she did, she looked down at Louis on her lap.

Gently stroking her golden hair, Rem choked and calmly turned her gaze back to Subaru, saying

Rem: [I, Louis-chan, Abel-san, Mizelda-san and the others, Medium-san and Flop-san are all human beings with a will, and you don’t have to get worked up to protect them.]

Subaru: [Oh...]

Rem: [Please don’t try to do anything like that all by yourself. You don’t have to take responsibility for our actions.]

Subaru’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, overwhelmed by the shower of words.

His brain refused to comprehend what was being said, in a prompt fashion. However, an unidentified sense of urgency scorched Subaru’s heart, forcing him to listen no further.

With earnest emotion, directed at a Subaru cursing his own lack of power, Rem bit back.

He had to stop her from saying anything beyond that――,

Rem: [You aren’t a special person――]

He knew he should not have allowed her to say it.

Rem: [――Because, you’re not a hero.]

△▼△▼△▼△

Staggering, Subaru walked through the City Hall as if wandering.

He had no destination in mind. It was not even clear when he had started walking, to begin with. When he had come to, he was walking, and if anything, his consciousness still remained in a state of vagueness.

Subaru: [――Hk.]

Suddenly, he was hit head-on by a hard impact.

Taking a look at it, it seemed that he had hit a wall. He was walking while only staring at his feet, that was the reason. Slamming his forehead against the bare wall, Subaru held his aching forehead and exhaled.

Then, without thinking, he slammed his forehead against the solid wall again.

A firm impact and a dull sound, and Subaru felt a stinging pain in his brain.

As he shook his brain from the outside, he felt as if the stagnation that permeated his whole body was slowly receding.

In the same manner, Subaru slammed his forehead against the wall again and again.

Slam, slam, slam――

???: [Hey, hey, stop that, bro.]

As he pulled back to strike again, his shoulder was grabbed from behind. He had been called out.

What came into view when Subaru turned around, was a gaze that met his own from behind a steel helmet directed his way. Still grasping Subaru by the shoulder, the other party cracked the bones in his own neck and spoke,

Al: [I understand the feeling of wanting to die. But no matter how many times you do that, there’s gonna be no end to that sorta thing.]