Arc 8, Chapter 10 - 'No One Can Be Alone”

Arc 8, Chapter 10 - “No One Can Be Alone”

――Fainting and sleeping, while both were the same disruption of consciousness, how were they different?

Surely, Subaru, who was probably one of the world’s leading experts on fainting and loss of consciousness, did not understand how the two were different.

What he could say for sure, was that if both fainting and sleeping had the effect of resting the body, then it seemed to him that fainting had only about half that effect.

It may have been just a matter of feeling, but that was how he felt.

That was definitely because in fainting, the feelings of the people around the one who had fainted were too different, as opposed to sleeping.

If one had no connection with anyone else, and no one was worried about them, maybe there would be no difference between fainting and sleeping.

However――,

Subaru: [――Ah.]

His eyelids trembled, and a weak sigh leaked from his throat.

Bringing himself back to reality with such a frail and helpless gesture, Natsuki Subaru slowly awoke from the darkness.

Subaru: [――――]

Subaru raised his face from the shore of reality he had pulled himself to, and for a moment, he forgot to catch his breath.

What came into his view was an unfamiliar ceiling―― how many times had he woken up in an unknown place like this and used his head to try to find out where he was?

However, what would normally be a solitary task was not so this time.

???: [...Oh, you finally woke up, I suppose. Subaru is such a hopeless oversleeper, in fact.]

Subaru: [Beatrice...]

A familiar, lovely face filled Subaru’s view of the unfamiliar ceiling.

Beatrice, with her drooping eyebrows and pale-colored eyes, was looking at Subaru; she was the girl who had probably shared the most waking moments with him.

And when Beatrice entered Subaru’s field of vision, he realized that his hand, which seemed to be lying in bed, was being held, and his lips loosened.

Subaru: [By some chance, did you hold my hand this whole time?]

Beatrice: [Of course, I suppose. Betty is Subaru’s partner, in fact. Besides, Subaru tends to go everywhere too much on his own, I suppose. If you don’t like being chained up, then holding hands is the most effective way to keep you in check, in fact.]

Subaru: [As expected, you really understand my personality well...]

As he could not come up with a retort, Subaru could only chuckle at Beatrice’s pouting face.

He always found a way to do what needed to be done even if chained up, but it was always heartbreaking to release a hand that had been held.

Subaru was sensitive to pain, so that was the most effective way to keep him from leaving.

Subaru: [Uh, so where are we? Right now, what are we doing...]

Beatrice: [Calm down, Subaru, I suppose. It’s understandable that you want to be concerned about a lot of things but... more importantly, first look around you, in fact.]

Subaru: [Around me?]

Feigning seriousness at Subaru, who wanted to know what was going on, Beatrice put her finger to her lips.

Subaru, who had been feeling restless and impatient, was stopped in his tracks and made to blink as he followed Beatrice’s advice to look around at things other than her and the ceiling.

And then, he gasped.

――Resting on his bed all around him, he saw many people snoring.

Subaru: [――――]

The cabin was not spacious at all. With only the one bed that Subaru was sleeping on, half of the cabin’s space was occupied. Within that cabin, there were more than ten people packed tightly into it.

In addition, it was an unthinkable assembly.

Subaru: [Tanza and, Garfiel? And, Hiain and the guys and Louis and, even Utakata...]

Beatrice: [That’s not all, I suppose. Betty may have won one hand, but the other...]

Being told this, with Subaru not only having his right hand clasped by Beatrice, he turned towards his left hand and realized it was also being grasped. There, tightly clutching his hand, sleeping with their upper body stretched out on the bed――,

Subaru: [――Petra.]

With a large ribbon fastened on her head, even the little girl’s sleeping face was adorable.

Generally, how many hardships and rough patches had she overcome in order to hold his hand? He was not familiar with Petra’s traveling clothes, which were covered in dirt, filled with the concerns that the little girl had about being stylish.

To be in that condition, it was proof that she had finally managed to arrive here.

Beatrice: [But the hardest thing that Petra had to do, it would have been seizing the chance to hold Subaru’s hand, in fact. It was a struggle for everyone, I suppose.]

Subaru: [Hey, hey, you’re saying everyone wanted to hold my hand while I was sleeping? No matter how you say it, something that stupid is...]

Beatrice: [It is not stupid, in fact.]

He almost laughed at this joke, but Beatrice’s quiet voice stopped him.

Subaru’s eyes opened wide as Beatrice raised her tightly clenched hand and pointed it out to him,

Beatrice: [We were all really worried about Subaru, I suppose. If holding Subaru’s hand would help you, then even if it’s just that, we’re ready to do anything, in fact.]

Subaru: [――――]

Beatrice: [Subaru should be more aware of how important his presence is, even if just a little, I suppose. For a long time, that’s what Betty has been telling you over and over again, in fact.]

Saying so quietly, the tone of her voice sounded somewhat dismayed, but Beatrice’s words were filled with far too much compassion.

To say something like that with those eyes and voice, it was impossible for him to disregard it.

Even Subaru did not presume to think he did not have an impact on everyone around him, nor that he should not be held dear, however――,

Subaru: [...Just because I shrank, everyone’s become too overprotective.]

???: [I do not know about that. For me, rather than the overprotectiveness of those around him, should you not first reflect on his shrinkage, Natsuki-san?]

Subaru: [――!]

Suddenly, Subaru’s shoulders jumped due to the voice he heard.

The voice unexpectedly barged in, coming from the entrance of the narrow cabin. Examining the expression of the one who slid the door open, goddamnit, were his soft features ever so great to see.

Subaru: [Otto!?]

Otto: [Yes, it is me, but... please be quiet. Please consider Petra-chan’s and Garfiel’s feelings.]

Subaru: [Their feelings...]

Otto: [Something like, they are waiting for you to wake up, you know? Of course, it was because they wanted to be the first to speak once you awakened, Natsuki-san. But, if they found out that I showed up like this and stole that privilege, how much would they resent me?]

Subaru: [Ho, you’re such a bad guy.]

Otto: [Even with Natsuki-san shrunken like this, you do not seem to talk any less.]

Putting a finger to his lips and lowering his voice, the young man that had appeared―― Otto, looked around the cabin.

He made a troubled expression, the inside of the chamber was so crowded that there was almost nowhere to step. Otto looked annoyed, but somehow managed to find a foothold and walked over to the bed,

Otto: [Beatrice-chan, you too, thank you for taking care of Natsuki-san.]

Beatrice: [There’s nothing to be tired of, I suppose... More importantly, are you going to inform them, in fact?]

Otto: [Of course, I will make sure to let everyone know that Natsuki-san is awake, but...]

As Beatrice looked at him with a reproachful gaze, Otto spaced out his words while smiling bitterly. As he made those spaced-out words sound more important, he looked at Subaru lying on the bed,

Otto: [Although it pains me, since I was witness to Natsuki-san’s inopportune waking, before things become too noisy, I would like to raise a personal complaint with you.]

Subaru: [T-the nerve of you to act so nice...]

Otto: [Yes, I am a merchant after all.]

Touching his hatless head, Otto laughed with a face free of offense.

That smile, it gave Subaru the same chills that the gaze of his enemies did, or the same chill he felt when he incurred Tanza’s displeasure; while experiencing this sensation, Subaru took a deep breath.

Admittedly, partially because he had been sent to the Vollachian Empire, Subaru believed that he was not as much at fault as he was for the ensuing troubles; however, it was true that he had made people worry.

No matter what kind of complaints he was hit with, he would take them in stride.

Subaru: [Okay, give me everything you’ve got. But, my mentality has also been suitably trained here. Don’t think that you can destroy me with half-baked words.]

Otto: [What kind of boast is that? Well, I do not intend on giving you a long lecture. Since I am not the only one who wants to say something to you, I will keep it short. ――Natsuki-san.]

Subaru: [Yeah?]

Otto: [――I am glad that you were able to safely reunite with us. Please, do not worry too much.]

Subaru: [――――]

A hand reached out, plopping itself onto Subaru’s small shoulder.

Feeling Otto’s fingers, which were stronger than the impression given by his features, with them trembling slightly on top of his shoulder, Subaru then choked up. ly, Otto knitted his brows, his nose wrinkling as he let those words out; as he had always been one to look at himself from an unbiased view, Otto’s uncontainable emotions became loosened.

Subaru: [Guh...]

His trained mental resolve, and his readiness to accept any blow, all of it was for naught.

Those words that Otto had let out had been a killing blow, mercilessly destroying Natsuki Subaru’s barriers, driving a fatal blow into the bare soul underneath.

In short, it was foul play.

Otto: [In any case, this works best on Natsuki-san, right?]

Subaru: [You, you, bastard...!]

In front of Subaru, whose whole body was trembling, tightening his expression which had just been on the verge of crumbling, a daring, calm, and implicative smile emerged on Otto’s face.

Having been completely led by the nose, Subaru could not help his face turning red from the sense of defeat. ――No, there were other methods. As payback to Otto for being outwitted, though it was far from being a win, it was at least a way to not let him escape with victory.

That was――,

Subaru: [Aaah! I’ve lost, I’ve lost, it’s a complete loss, Otto you bastard!!]

Otto: [Eh!?]

While his face was still red, Subaru had a wicked smile as he declared his defeat in a loud voice. The second he heard this, Otto’s face turned pale and he shouted.

At that, with Subaru and Otto’s back-and-forth argument echoing within the confines of the cabin, naturally, one-by-one his sleeping companions heard them―― No, rather the sleeping lion pack began to wake up.

And like that, with joy and reproach, there was an eruption of feelings of joy and sorrow.

Inside of that noisy cabin, beside the troubled Subaru and Otto, Beatrice watched it from beginning to end with her chin resting on her hands,

Beatrice: [Good grief... They all act far too much like children, I suppose.]

Saying this, with the attitude of a lone bystander, she looked over this scene with affection.

△▼△▼△▼△

――The simultaneous evacuation of the citizens from the Imperial Capital of Lupugana.

That was a matter of great importance that had been conducted while Subaru was unconscious, , Subaru had woken up in the cabin of a dragon carriage allocated to the transportation of important individuals, among the large group who had undertaken that action.

Pulled by a great number of ground dragons, it was a mobile sleeping quarter, an extraordinary product that could be used for both evacuation and recuperation. With such august treatment, it seemed Subaru had been taken out from the Imperial Capital.

Hiain: [Bro! I’m real glad ya’re safe! When the power left my body along the way, I got real damn worried, not knowin’ what might’ve happened to ya!]

Weitz: [I wouldn’t care if the bearded bastard died, but if we lose you, the Battalion’d be finished... If you’re on the verge of death, use me or anyone else as a shield...]

Idra: [Weitz’s phrasing bothers me, but I agree. Schwartz, I’m truly glad that you’ve returned. Both as a member of the Battalion, and as my own individual.]

Those were the reactions of people within group that had been waiting for Subaru to wake up, the three people who had reliably accompanied him since the Gladiator Island as a Unit, comprised of Hiain, Weitz, and Idra.

Regardless of Idra, who had gone with him during the battle, Hiain and Weitz had certainly been especially worried, having gone off separately.

And that was not the only reason for which he had to apologize to those three.

Subaru: [My bad. Because I fainted, everyone’s strengthening must have come undone...]

Weitz: [Don’t worry ‘bout that... Luckily, that only happened when we were already startin’ to evacuate.]

Hiain: [That’s right! The only one who nearly died from that bein’ cut off was this skull-lookin’ bastard, he was in the middle of supportin’ a crumblin’ pillar. If the Governor hadn’t been there, he woulda been crushed to death...]

Weitz: [Didn’t I tell ya not to speak of that...!]

As usual, Weitz’s thoughtful concern for Subaru was ruined by Hiain’s uncalled-for comment. Seeing the scene of the duo quarreling, Idra shrugged his shoulders.

With Cor Leonis having come undone right in the middle of the Imperial Capital, he had supposedly been exposed to danger as a result,

Idra: [As Weitz said, don’t sweat it, Schwartz. From the moment that we decided to follow you, whatever would happen beyond that point would be our own responsibility.]

Subaru: [But...]

Idra: [And even if I say that, I know that you’re the one who’s going to be worried. ――I’ll leave the rest of the discussion to those girls who seem to have known you longer than we have.]

As always, Idra was good at wrapping up the conversation rationally.

Thanks to this, Subaru, who could only make emotional objections, was silenced. Idra left the cabin with Hiain and Weitz, who were still grappling with each other.

Like that, as the three of them were leaving, a small figure was about to follow them,

Subaru: [Tanza.]

Tanza: [...I sincerely apologize for not being of use at such a crucial time. I am truly glad that you have been able to return, Schwartz-sama.]

Despondently hanging her head, Tanza responded in a formal tone.

Thinking back to the time when they were separated in the Imperial Capital, he could understand Tanza’s regrets about her own lack of strength. However, that did not seem to be the only reason for her dispirited expression.

Subaru: [What’s wrong? If something happened...]

Tanza: [――. No, it is not something that I should talk to Schwartz-sama about right now. Please rest your body, and spend time with everyone at ease.]

After a moment’s hesitation, Tanza also exited the cabin without saying anything more.

He tried to reach out towards her frail back, but both of Subaru’s hands were occupied. Still, Subaru’s heart appealed to him, not wanting to leave Tanza alone, having made such a face.

The woman who stood in front of her, clutching her elbows and puffing out her chest―― Ram, which was how she referred to herself, which was how she was referred to by those around her, bore a lot of resemblance to Rem herself.

The color of her hair and eyes, and the overwhelming pressure of confidence overflowing within them, marked the differences between her and Rem.

It seemed that she was Rem’s older sister, who had no memory of her.

To be honest, there was no room for denial after comparing their facial features. The name of her older sister, conveyed to her many times before by Subaru, was certainly “Ram”.

Above all else, what undeniably predominated Rem’s mind was――,

Ram: [Whatever you think, Rem’s heart will feel it, because Ram and Rem are sisters... Synesthesia doesn’t lie.]

Rem: [Synesthesia...]

Ram: [A sort of connection of the soul between twins. All along, Ram has felt Rem’s presence... Is Rem different?]

Rem: [――――]

Rem closed her lips at Ram, who narrowed her light-crimson eyes as she asked directly.

If asked whether Rem was different or not, then no, not at all. While she did not understand well that thing called Synesthesia, inside Rem there was a very, very strong sensation that felt different.

That was an overwhelming feeling of safety towards Ram, whom she was supposedly meeting for the first time.

Rem: [...But I’m afraid.]

Ram: [Afraid?]

Rem: [To have such feelings about you, with whom I have only exchanged a few words in a short time.]

For Rem, who had lost her memory, Subaru and Louis were the only two people who were present at the moment her present self began. Due to the circumstances, she had pushed Subaru away and kept Louis by her side at first.

After that, Rem got to know the Shudraqians, got to know Flop and Medium, got to know Priscilla and Katya, and in Rem’s own way, she established various relationships with them.

Even then, Ram’s very existence overtook them all at once, attempting to stand at the top.

Rem: [That is what I’m afraid of...]

This inexpressible sense of security, it was the footsteps of the past approaching.

It was not that she did not wish to regain her lost memories. But it also seemed as though many of Rem’s problems would surely come back to her with those memories’ return.

But at the same time, she feared that when those footsteps caught up with her, everything would change.

If the way one saw, the way one felt, the way one thought, if everything changed.

Yes, firmly, intensely, Rem shut her eyes and clutched her chest.

And there――,

Ram: [Yes. ――What a relief.]

Rem: [Huh?]

An unexpected voice was heard, and Rem opened her tightly shut eyelids to look up.

Ram, who was clutching her elbows in front of Rem, stared at her, lowering the corners of her eyes slightly, wondering what she had just said,

Ram: [Ram is thinking the same as Rem. Afraid.]

Rem: [Afraid, you mean...]

Ram: [What if Rem were to accepted Synesthesia that naturally, and jump into Ram’s chest as if it were guaranteed? ――Yes, Ram was afraid.]

Rem: [――――]

As she had a tender expression, but spoke about fear, Rem began to understand less how Ram in front of her felt. ――No, that was not it.

Understanding what she did not understand, that was what confused her.

Louis: [U!]

Suddenly, instead of Rem, whose eyes were swimming with confusion, it was Louis who groaned as she hugged her around the waist.

Louis, glaring at Ram from below, was sensitive to the quaking in Rem’s heart, sharpening her gaze as if to scold Ram for causing it.

Meeting Louis’s gaze, Ram’s eyes narrowed slightly,

Ram: [Trying to stand between Ram and Rem? Of all people, you?]

Louis: [Aau~!]

Ram: [So, you’re not going to back down. This is complicated, but not unpleasant.]

Just what history was there between them, for Ram to have stated as such while displaying signs that she also knew Louis, then looked into Rem’s eyes once again. When their eyes met, she could not separate them from hers.

Even though her heart felt like being burned by the intensity of that gaze, her soul was attracted to it.

Her anxiety grew stronger and stronger.

Just as equally strong as her captivation towards Ram.

Feeling it intensely, Rem bit her lip hard,

Rem: [You certainly must be my older sister. I can believe that without a doubt. It’s just...]

Ram: [Even if your heart is convinced, your mind is not?]

Rem: [...Yes.]

Ram: [Right. Then, that is fine for now.]

Rem nodded weakly, and Ram closed the distance with another step.

The former’s shoulders tensed at the sight of her approaching, and Louis stepped forward to protect her. But Rem gently held Louis’s shoulder with an “It’s okay”, stopping the gentle little girl.

Then, of their own volition, they directed their gazes directly at Ram.

With Rem’s gaze on her, Ram uncrossed her arms and held out her hand. The hand that was offered by the person whose heart had already recognized her as her sister.

Ram: [I am Ram. Your older sister, doubtlessly born to love you.]

Rem: [――――]

Ram: [Though, there are other people just as important to this independent older sister of yours too.]

At those words, spoken with such calm and confidence, Rem’s eyes widened.

Then, as the meaning of the words began to sink in, a gasp escaped her lips. Rem just gave a little smile and laughed,

Rem: [It turns out, you are a frightening person. When I talk to you, I feel like my body just surrenders itself into this sense of security I feel.]

Ram: [It cannot be helped, Ram is the kind of older sister you just want to put all your trust and love in.]

Rem: [Yes, Ram-neesan.]

Ram proudly puffed out her chest, her hand being timidly grasped by Rem, who at last had addressed her in that manner. Upon hearing that, Ram raised her eyebrows slightly.

It had taken courage for Rem to address her as such, so that reaction was unexpected.

Rem: [Umm?]

Ram: [...As much as doing it like Barusu said annoys me, this sure doesn’t feel comfortable.]

Rem: [Errr?]

Ram: [――Nee-sama.]

Rem: [Huh?]

With Ram looking sour for an instant then continuing her few words, Rem widened her eyes. In response to Rem’s reaction, Ram repeated herself once more, saying the same thing again.

Ram: [Address Ram with “nee-sama”. That feels the most comfortable.]

Rem: [...Ram, nee-sama?]

Ram: [The name is unnecessary.]

Rem: [――Nee-sama.]

Doing exactly as she was told to, drawing ever closer to what Ram wished to be called, the latter shut her eyes tightly. Then, she pulled Rem’s hand, the one she was gripping, towards herself; Rem stumbled around a bit on reflex, but came to have Ram gently catch her body from the front, embracing her.

And continuing like that, Ram put her lips to Rem’s ear, and,

Ram: [Now Ram can clearly feel it. ――Ram is Rem’s nee-sama.]

Rem: [I feel, it too.]

Thus, as soon as she was embraced by her arms, what she had been afraid of overflowed from her.

What she had dubbed a sense of security, was an attraction to her soul, a love for Ram. Firmly, gently, it engulfed even Rem, who was supposedly without memories.

Ram: [...As much as it pains Ram to say it, but are you ready for this, Rem?]

Rem: [Ready... for what?]

Ram: [Ready to go inside; we need to show it off to Barusu, not to mention show it off to Emilia-sama and the others. We need to boast our sisterly love, that will alleviate any lingering worries.]

Due to Ram’s words, Rem closed her eyes.

Even now, be it Emilia and everyone else or Subaru as well, how she ought to face them and what expression she should have were questions for which she had not found an answer.

But, at the very least, there were no doubts whatsoever about the feeling of Ram being her sister, about her feelings for Ram.

Rem: [Yes, nee-sama.]

Ram: [Like I thought, perhaps we should put that off until you call Ram that a hundred times.]

Rem: [Nee-sama...]

Ram: [It’s a joke.]

To the nodding Rem, Ram told a joke that had not sounded like a joke.

Seeing such a mischievous attitude from her sister filled Rem’s heart with relief, even if for but a single moment, despite her own self’s sense of urgency, despite the fact that they were in a situation that was otherwise a matter of the utmost urgency.

Louis: [Uau, auaaau~?]

Rem: [Yes, I’m fine. And thank you, Louis-chan, for your concern.]

Louis: [Uh!]

Louis had been standing by Rem’s side the whole time, caught in the middle of Rem and Ram’s dialogue. Relieving her of her fears with a smile, Rem gently stroked the head of the kind little girl.

Then, with Louis in tow, Rem mustered up the courage to line up next to her sister, who had turned around halfway.

Without stopping, Ram and her shared glances and nodded, and the two of them reached for the door before them and――,

Rem: [――Pardon us. I could hear you making a lot of noise, even from outside.]

Ram: [It was a very Barusu-like yell, like many little animals put together, wasn’t it?]

And so, the sisters both stepped into the cabin their companions were in.

△▼△▼△▼△

Subaru: [Haa... Feels like a huge weight’s been lifted off my shoulders...]

Keenly sensing that a huge load had disappeared from his chest, Subaru muttered so.

That huge load on his chest, it had been the responsibility Subaru had needed to take upon himself―― with nobody else around to protect Rem, he would see that duty through, and make it so Ram, Emilia, and everyone else could meet her.

In all honesty, however, upon learning that he had not been present for the reunion of the sisters, Ram and Rem, he had been struck with grief akin to that of the world ending.

Subaru: [If only I could’ve presented the two of them lined up side-by-side, like that...]

The demeanor of those two, visiting Subaru’s cabin together, made him believe that it had at least not gone badly, even if he did not know exactly what sort of exchanges the two sisters had had.

Once Subaru grasped this, the frustration he had felt just before vanished, and a sense of relief washed over him.

Finally, he had finally made it so that Rem and Ram could meet.

He had made it so that Rem could meet with Emilia, with Beatrice, with everyone else.

Just how much of that could be said to be due to Subaru’s contributions, he did not know, but it had been done regardless.

That Subaru himself had also been able to meet up with Emilia and the gang, was a matter of great celebration.

Subaru: [Although, I’m still small, and Rem’s Memories aren’t back yet...]

However, he could sense that the seeds of hope were budding.

As far as the matter of Subaru’s size went, it could be said that a way for it to be resolved could be seen in the near future; and assuredly, he would be able to find a way to restore Rem’s Memories.

So, what came next was――,

Beatrice: [...Is it really alright if you don’t have Betty with you, in fact?]

Subaru: [No, I’m not that composed at all, but that guy won’t show his face with you around, Beako, so indulge my selfishness for just a while.]

Beatrice: [If anything happens, call for Betty right away, I suppose. Betty will come rushing with a zyoom, in fact.]

Subaru: [I’ll be counting on you.]

Until the very end, Beatrice wanted to avoid letting go of Subaru’s hand.

The deeply considerate girl tenderly detached her hand; once Emilia and everyone else reluctantly parted with him and exited the cabin, Subaru was left with nobody else in the cabin filled with silence.

Once the factors for it having been so lively up until this point had all left the cabin, Subaru was instantly overwhelmed by a myriad of misgivings.

The retreat from the Imperial Capital, on how large of a scale had it been undertaken? Had the origin of that horde of zombies been grasped? Was the relationship between the Imperial Army and the rebels improving? For what reason had Emilia and the others purposely only touched upon nothing but upbeat topics? What was the answer for Tanza’s somber expression?

And, the events that had occurred just before, when Subaru had gone unconscious, how had they concluded?

Subaru: [Even if you don’t answer everything, can you at least answer around half of them?]

???: [――That would depend on how much you are willing to compromise.]

In the sleeping quarters bereft of people, Subaru’s words, spoken as he raised his upper body from the bed, were answered by a figure that had likely been waiting for everyone to finish leaving.

There was the sound of shoes stepping firmly, leisurely, on the floor in a dignified manner, punctuated by a posture which lacked any hesitation to make their presence known to those in the environs.

Their deportment, the keen glint of their eyes, none of it deviated from his memory. And yet, they were markedly different in some way, that person―― that black-haired man, Subaru fixedly stared at his handsome looks.

And then――,

???: [How eloquently shall you speak, Natsuki Subaru? ――O Stargazer of the Dragon Kingdom.]

And thus, his black eyes pregnant with hostility, Vincent Vollachia inquired so of Natsuki Subaru.