Chapter 417 Too Many Things

Chapter 417 Too Many Things　　~ SASHA ~

The moment they'd both caught their breath, Sasha buried her face in his neck and groaned. "I can't stay. I have to get back. The females are really struggling and I need to get them used to the idea of getting out of that hall. Some of them haven't left at all, yet."

"I know," Zev sighed, rubbing her arm. "Me too. I have to make sure we've informed all the Creatures. And since Lhars is out, I think I'll be the one running the meeting with the Alphas."

"I'm so happy for them," Sasha said with a smile.

"Me too." He sounded more relieved than happy, but Sasha wasn't sure in the current climate whether there was any difference.

Neither of them moved for a few more minutes. But finally, Sasha sighed and leaned forward to kiss him. She was about to tell him she was leaving when he spoke up.

"Let's bathe tonight," he said quickly, watching her. "Even if it's really late. Let's do that. Together. At the little pool."

She nodded. "It's a date. But it might be late. I got a message that Nick told the guards who took him to the cave that he was probably going to stay overnight there in the human world."

Zev went very still, frowning.

"Is that a bad thing?" Sasha asked him.

"I don't know," Zev said carefully. "It's entirely possible that he just wants to sleep a night away from the threat of Ernie," Zev snorted, but his humor didn't last. "But then, with Nick, you can never be sure."

Sasha nodded. "I keep second-guessing the decision to wait until he comes back. I mean, what if he brings the team with him?"

"Even if they realize I was on the device, they want those females healthy. I didn't do anything but access information. The risk is that they make some plot with Nick that we don't know about."

"But we won't be here to see it play out."

"Exactly."

"So you think we stick with this plan? If he stays overnight we don't leave until tomorrow? And do we just cage him and go? Do we leave him to die?"

Zev's eyes went very dark and Sasha felt the first cold, creep of fear. "It's tempting," he said. "I'll give it some thought."

"Zev—"

"What?"

"I don't like how angry you've become with him. It feels… dark."

He growled. "You don't think he deserves it?"

"Of course he deserves it. I'm worried about you, not him."

Zev rolled onto his back and rubbed his hands over his face, then linked his fingers under his head, his elbows out wide. 

Sasha scooted over and rested her head on his thick bicep. "Hey," she murmured. "I'm not saying you shouldn't be angry. I'm saying don't let it eat at you."

"Skhal said the same thing. I just… that fucker," Zev growled. "He knew and he didn't tell us. I'm certain he knew, Sasha."

"Well, then, let's focus on the fact that we're going to steal all those females right out from under their noses. They're going to lose all of them, Zev! The females back at the compound are all stronger and healthier than these. Life for the Chimera is going to continue, and in a way, that's… more natural."

"I hope so."

"I know so. God's going to make it happen, Zev. He's going to show you. He's going to save all of you."

Zev turned his head and held her eyes. "He didn't save our baby."

Sasha sucked in a breath as the pang hit, right in her heart.

Zev closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sash, I shouldn't have said that." He rolled to face her, curling himself around her. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I just… it took me by surprise, that's all."

He held her then, running fingers up and down her spine, and despite all the external pressures and their limited time, Sasha found she needed that. She needed to be there with him and process that.

"What do you think they would be like?"

"Who?"

"Our baby, Zev. I think about it sometimes. I want to have a baby with you. But… could you imagine if I'd been pregnant? Could you imagine if they knew I was pregnant and they took our baby? That's what they want to do. That's what they were trying to get me to agree to. You know that right?"

"Oh, I know, trust me."

Sasha blinked. Of course, he'd been raised by these people. Sometimes she was such an ass. She put a hand to his face and stroked it with her thumb. 

"Every time I think about my baby in their hands…" she shivered. "What was it like growing up with them, Zev? Did they hurt you all the time?"

"No! But…" Zev squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin. "They aren't abusive that way, Sash. At least, they weren't to me," he said reluctantly. "But it's still sick. They didn't beat me up or anything, but they don't love. They care for Chimera like they would an animal that's valuable. Everything you need to be healthy in your body, but nothing for your heart. Nothing for your mind."

"Nothing for your soul," Sasha added, watching him worriedly. "That makes me cry for you, Zev. If there's anything they've stolen from you, it's that understanding of how important you are. Like, on the grand scale. To God."

"God doesn't care about freaks of nature that were never intended to exist."

"Stop talking about yourself like that!" Sasha scowled. "Seriously, Zev… if we have a kid, are you going to see them as a freak, too? Are you going to tell them that?"

Zev blinked, his brows pinching over his nose. "I… I hadn't thought about that."

"Well, think about it now. Because I'm willing to bet you aren't going to let any kid of ours talk about themselves or see themselves that way?"

"No, you're right. I wouldn't. But… that doesn't mean it isn't true," he said sadly.

"Zev…" Sasha was heartbroken for him. "What did they do to you? My love, my male, my mate, my husband… what did they do to you?" she whispered, fighting tears.