Chapter 72: A Talk With Myselves

Chapter 72: A Talk With Myselves

Hiral sat in one corner of the room, a half-eaten ration in his hand. With the storm in full swing outside, the option of moving had vanished, and Fitch’s words—even if he knew they weren’t true, after some consideration—still rattled around in his head. It had just been in that moment, when all his old fears surfaced again, that he’d believed them, but they wouldn’t go away so quickly.

Around him, the others made small talk, snacking like he was, and chatted about the skills they’d picked up in the last dungeon run before they’d been forced to flee. It was an odd break, a tension from feeling like they had to move, along with a relief that they couldn’t.

For Hiral’s part, he knew he should use the chance to test out that Mold Crystal skill he’d picked up—he even had a couple ideas for it—if he could just force the lingering doubt out of his head. Problem was, he couldn’t. The things Fitch had said went round and round in his head, the words themselves discredited as bitter resentment, but leading to more genuine questions.

Namely—what would happen after they got to the Asylum?

There was no doubt things would change. They’d be safe.

There’d be no need to run dungeons anymore, or fight for experience to get stronger just so they could take another step toward that safety. So, what would they do? Wait out a rotation until Fallen Reach came back around, then head for a jump point? And then what?

Hiral would go back to being an Islander and they’d go back to being Nomads? He’d promised not to tell anybody else about the dungeons, and after his time with the party, the simple thought of breaking that promise clenched up his chest.

Or, would Seena and the others let him keep coming down to the surface with them to explore the mysteries of the dungeons and get stronger?

If they did that, somebody on Fallen Reach would take notice of his growth—even the fact he’d returned to the city would raise questions. How would he answer them? Then there was the whole issue of the Enemy, and what they’d do about it now that they knew.

Arrrrgh, it was just too much for him to think about all at once. Instead, he took a frustrated bite out of... whatever it was he had in his hand, and focused on the conversations around him.

“...and now my Gravity Wells have these snake heads that come out of them and constantly spit fire and lightning,” Seeyela told Seena, making small snapping gestures with her hands like mouths.

“...no, no, you hold it like this, twist, and then lunge,” Yanily instructed Balyo, both of them holding large forks like spears. “Think of it like the name suggests, a dance. An intimate, sexy dance.”

“...needs salt,” Vix said to Picoli and Wule.

“...and they’ve been gone a long time. Don’t you think they’ve been gone a long time?” Cal asked Nivian, while the tank glared at the food complaints.

“I’m sure Lonil is just giving him time to cool off. It hasn’t been that long,” Nivian said, flattening out his scowl.

“At least half an hour. And I checked outside the door... they aren’t in the building anymore,” Cal said. “I’m getting worried.”

Hiral dropped the half-ration in the pack beside him, then pushed himself to his feet and walked over to Nivian and Caleon. “Lonil and Fitch?”

“Yes. I’m not sure where they went,” Cal said, her fingers twisting around each other as she wrung her hands.

“The storm is pretty bad,” Nivian said. “I’m sure they didn’t go far.”

“I’ll take a look for them,” Hiral said.

“What’s that?” Seena’s voice cut over the low hum of conversation, then she came over to join the trio.

“Cal is worried about Lonil,” Nivian told her.

“Yes... and... uh, Fitch too,” Cal said, a little awkwardly.

“Yeah, so I’m going to just go check on them,” Hiral said.

“Maybe you’re not the best choice,” Seena said slowly.

Why? Because without me you can’t get into the dungeon? a voice in his head asked, but he stamped it out quickly.

“Seeing you again won’t calm Fitch down,” she went on.

“Maybe not, but I know the town the best since I was looking around. I have a couple ideas where they might’ve gone to get out of the rain.” And, maybe, if he was being honest with himself, he just needed a few minutes alone.

“Life,” Right answered. “Living does that to us just as much as dying does. What you felt when Fitch spoke back there, was it any less painful or traumatic?”

“It’s not the same. Dying ends all that...” Hiral said, then cut off as both of his doubles smiled.

“Not for us, it doesn’t. For us, it’s just another part of living,” Right said. “We want to keep living. To keep existing. Even though we know we’re nothing more than concentrated solar energy.” He looked down at his hands as he opened and closed his fingers. “We want to keep... being. To do that, we need you to keep living.”

“Let us protect you,” Left said. “Even if we’re selfishly protecting ourselves at the same time.”

Hiral reached out to the wall, the cool stone rough under his fingers, and let the sensation ground him. Let the image of the roiling emotions in his chest flow down through his arm and out his fingers. It wasn’t perfect, but it gave him at least a moment of clear thoughts.

“I don’t think of you just as concentrated solar energy,” he said.

“We know you don’t,” Right said.

“You’re just as much my friends as Seena and the others,” Hiral went on.

“We are,” Left said.

“But, I understand what you’re saying, and I respect your opinions...”

“You should; they’re ultimately your opinions,” Right pointed out. “We’re just better at expressing them.”

“Why is that?”

“Less filters.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Wonderful,” Left said. “Now that we’re all on the same page, we really should get back to looking for Lonil and Fitch.”

“You’re right,” Hiral said. “Like you suggested, we’ll split up. Be careful, though.”

“I will. However, before I go, I have too much solar energy. Resummon me with only about three percent.”

“What? Why?”

“Because dying taught me a few things. The big one was that I remember what happened before I was killed, even if I don’t know how. I kept my memory. Right and I can be used as scouts without putting you at unnecessary risk. By only giving us a small amount of solar energy, you’re lowering the investment and making it more sustainable to keep summoning us.”

“This still involves you dying,” Hiral said flatly, not at all amused with this plan.

“Or,” Left said, holding up a finger, “we can burn through all our solar energy and disperse ourselves. Either way, we come right back to you and can give a report on what we’ve learned. Another good reason to have very little energy.”

“What if you run into something you need to fight?” Hiral asked.

“Have we fought anything since we left the dungeon?” Left asked. Before Hiral could answer, he said, “No. If there’s anything out there, it’s something I can’t fight against and win by myself anyway. Better I get as much intel as I can and get back to you.”

Hiral looked at his double, part of him wanting to contradict the reasoning, but he couldn’t. It made sense. “Try not to do anything reckless,” he said flatly, then absorbed and resummoned Left with just a tiny amount of solar energy.

“I’ll be careful,” Left said, starting back down the hall. “I’ll go back and head out the front door, so to speak. Why don’t you two head out from here?”

“Listen to him, trying to sound like he’s the boss,” Right said. “It’s a good plan, though.”

“It is. Good luck,” Hiral said, waving at Left before turning to gaze out into the pouring rain.