Chapter 202

Chapter 202

The air is thick with smoke and oil as I ride past the smouldering remains of a funeral pyre, while bloody and bandaged soldiers go about their duties with an air of defeat, shoulders slumped, backs slouched, and heads hung low, they work in groups fortifying the camp, clutching their injuries and resting often, working hard while conserving strength for the battles still to come. Grim and resigned, the same scene repeats time and time again as I make my way towards the Sentinel camp, the steady rhythm of hoof-beats pounding the dirt filling the silence between thundering heartbeats, while a single question circles through my mind as I stare towards my destination, the answer imagined thousands of different ways since waking this morning to find pillars of smoke rising in the east.

Who will be there to greet me as I arrive and who will be absent from the crowd?

The Spectres have a field day with their whispers and thoughts, darkening my mood even further. Id decided it's easier to let them speak and ignore them, instead of shutting them out and being unprepared for the messages that get through, but so far, neither solution seems to work. Nothing to do but endure. The familiar sight of my retinues tents come into view and I bring my horse to a halt. Under no illusions of my skill as a rider, I awkwardly slide off its saddle and pat its nose, leaning against the beast for support while waiting for my legs to untense. A few familiar faces greet me with tired smiles, approaching once it's clear I have no intention of leaving the horse. I cant help it, my poor thighs and butt are so abused and sore, if I tried to walk unsupported, Id keel over and crack my skull. Not exactly an inspiring sight.

With a hearty clap on the shoulder, Saluk takes the reins of my horse. Is good to have boss back. Saluk take pretty horsey to water, yes? Feed grain, brush hair, is good, strong horsey. Transfixed by my mount, he fails to notice my panic and walks away, cooing to the animal while Pran shrugs apologetically. Is that what its like when Im with my pets? Maybe Baledagh is right, its a little embarrassing to see a grown man fawn over an animal.

Hubby! Greeting me with her usual enthusiasm, Lins white scarf trails behind her as she leaps into my arms. Burying her face in my neck as her feet dangle off the ground, she squeezes tight and whispers, Welcome back.

Only two of her guards follow closely behind and my heart seizes in my chest as I put her down and check her for injuries. What happened to your other guards? Were you hurt in the attack?

My concerns earn me an adorable scowl, her cheeks puffing up momentarily as we link arms, my little wifey supporting me on our shuffle into the camp. Im fine hubby, I wasnt in any danger and neither were my guards. They might as well be decorations for all the good they are, standing around and watching while Mi-Mi and Li-Li fight for their lives.

We are here to keep you safe. This much was made clear before we left. The Leader breaks her usual silence to defend her actions, a hint of reproach in her tone. Your friends chose to take part in this struggle, as I chose to stand apart long ago. Ill not be shamed into fighting their battles.

Nor should you be. Dont be rude Lin, apologize. Besides, Id rather they grabbed Lin and ran at the first sign of danger. Id like it even more if they brought everyone with them, but that hardly seems probable.

Hmph. Ignoring both me and the Leader, Lin leans sweetly against my arm and launches into a story. It was so scary hubby, all those furry, ugly lizards running around and the soldiers helpless and afraid. Mi-Mi fought and took charge like a natural, all the soldiers were listening to her commands, it was incredible, but then she slipped and Li-Li jumped in to save her and lost her sword. I thought she was gonna get eaten, but her armour saved her and Mi-Mi got back up. Then Tursi and Tenji showed up and the Defiled scurried away like rabbits. Her nose scrunches at the reference, having inherited Taduks disdain for the long-eared creatures. Glancing up at me with a smile, she adds, Mi-Mi is much better at leading than you are hubby. You should ask her to teach you, or better yet, focus on your healing and let her lead. We can go home to the Bridge, Daddy must be so lonely in that big empty house by himself.

Oh look, its my good friend, low self-esteem. I missed you, not really. Mila is so incredible, I feel terrible for stealing her thunder. Well head back once this is all sorted out. And hopefully never leave again. My hand clasps her tiny fingers as they clutch my arm, stroking them lightly as we walk. Will you rethink your decision to stay? I was so terrified when I saw the smoke, filled with dread the entire ride over. Were riding into even more danger now and Id never forgive myself if something happened to you.

Pouting adorably, she looks up at me with eyes wide. You must have been worried, ya?

Yes.

Terrible isnt it? Knowing something might have happened and left to imagine the worst?

Yes.

Like a weight pressed against your chest, squeezing the breath out of you?

This feels like a trap. ...Yea.

Not even Lins good cheer or Mafus happy squeaks are enough to shake my dark mood, and after a quick meal, I settle into a sullen silence outside my tent, both hands submerged in a basin on water. Searching for that warm, comforting embrace, my chi flows through my body, down to the tips of my now pruny fingers and no further, refusing to drift into the water no matter how hard I will it. Unable to even muster the anger to flip over the basin, I rub my temples and contemplate my latest failure. Why cant I get it right? Im doing everything Elder Mings journal listed, but Ive yet to even glimpse at the slightest possibility of success. Am I wasting my time with this? Even if I can control water, then what? Its not like a cup of water will change the tides of battle.

God, Im going to have to fight without Baledaghs help. Do I even remember how?

A heavy hand rests on my shoulder as Tenjin sits down beside me. Water huh? Is that what youve Awakened to?

Maybe? I shrug. Dont even know for sure, but it makes sense. Though what I can do with water is... debatable. Sprinkle my opponents in a cool, refreshing mist perhaps.

Chuckling, he shakes his head. Sense has nothing to do with it. Snapping his fingers, he conjures a tiny flame at his finger tip, little more than a candle light. If our Mother-given skills made sense, Id be a healer like my father, but Ive no talent for it. Well, I didnt until you came along. With a small smile, he extinguishes the flame. I never felt... right, with the flames. Chaotic and destructive, unpredictable and ever-changing, they're nothing like me. As a child, I wanted to be like the wind, moving through the trees unseen, free and unrestrained. To share in the unbridled indulgence and go wherever I please, it seemed so appealing, but I buckled beneath the pressure of duty and fell in line. Then, I fell in love with Tursinai, so free-spirited and nonconforming.

He glances at his loving wife who blows him a kiss, and he beams at her in return. Unsure what to say, I remain silent, wondering if hes rambling or if he has a point. I dont talk to him much, but I always thought hed be a little more hostile, considering his aloof manner and all the attention Tursinai gives me. Then again, I guess he knows his wife better than I do, and is comfortable with her shows of affection.

Turning back, he squeezes my shoulder. Worry not about what you can do with it. It matters not. When I awakened to fire, I was sorely disappointed. What can I do with fire but destroy? This is not in my nature, and unsuitable for me. My attitude towards it stifled my progress for a long time, until I recently spoke of my concerns with my wife. He smiles at the memory for a moment before pressing on. She laughed and told me, Dont be silly. Fire brings warmth in the winter and light in the darkness. It suits you perfectly. Do you understand?

...No? Totally lost.

You think of your blessing in terms of battles, but water can be used in many ways. To cleanse, to sustain, to nurture and yes, to refresh. Combat is not the sole purpose of your awakening. Besides, he adds with a shrug, Water would suit you perfectly, Falling Rain of the Bekhai.

Except my name is just a mistranslation. Nodding in feigned understanding, I ask, Any more advice? Preferably something helpful.

Indeed. Stop worrying so much, you will master it with time. Now, the day grows late. Stop working and conserve your energy. The Defiled will likely return to strike again, and this time, they will face the Undying Savage. Winking once, his visage grows stern. If you should wake in the midst of an attack, wait by your tent until I arrive and keep that hot-head Mila with you. Winking roguishly, he adds, Shes sleeping in your tent. Go to her. I will keep watch out here.

Thanking him for his advice, I give Lin a hug and a kiss and send her off, since her guards would never let her stay in my tent. Li Songs eyes greet me as I enter the tent, almost glowing in the gloom. Her sword in hand and a bear cub nestled in the crook of her arm, she sits fully armoured inside her bedroll, still paranoid from last nights attack. After quietly calming her down, I lay next to Mila and wrap my arm around her, breathing deeply as my sweet little bride-to-be stirs at my touch. Aurie pads over and settles down behind me, his chest rumbling as he pushes against me.

This is it, the warm, comfortable embrace I was searching for. Maybe it isnt too helpful when it comes to controlling Chi, but this is nice, nonetheless. Closing my eyes, my fears and troubles melt away as I sink into blissful sleep.

This is exactly what I need right now.

Tickled by my breath, Mila elbows me roughly on instinct, my pained gasp startling her from peaceful slumber.

Okay, almost exactly what I need.

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