Chapter 225

Chapter 225

I hate being a leader.

I have many reasons, like managing the endless stream of trivial and not so trivial details. Even a small, hundred-person retinue has too many things to keep track of, break schedules, rations, ammunition, camp details and more. While I try to delegate most things, its still my ass on the line if things go poorly, so my apprehensive nature forces me to micromanage things to a ridiculous degree.

Then theres the heavy responsibility and soul crushing guilt which comes with making life and death decisions for other people. Ive lost many from my retinue, more than half my former cripples and a handful of Sentinels, mostly impressionable youngsters who looked up to me. Survivors guilt is shitty enough on its own, but its possible my mistakes actually cost people their lives. Every time I close my eyes, Im haunted by crippling doubt and self-recrimination, wondering if I could have done things differently. Though Im no longer plagued by the Spectres, I still have my own ghosts to deal with, and all the coin in the world won't help me sleep better at night.

If I had to pick something to hate the most, it wouldnt be any of the above, nor would it be the meagre rewards of honour and glory, or the staggering bills for medicine for soldiers and food for quins. What I hate most about being a leader is the barrier between me and everyone above or below me. Forget the people who outrank me, I dont care about climbing the ladder, but in front of my retinue, I always have to be careful how I act. Gone are the days of sitting around dicing and drinking with Bulat and the gang, or complaining to Yan about the crappy food or weather. Every second of every day, I need to be aware of my status as commander and keep up appearances as the representative of my retinue. I dont get to be Rain, transmigrated mountain villager anymore. Every minute of every day, I play the part of Warrant Officer Falling Rain, Khishig of the Bekhai, The Undying Savage and so on and so forth.

Being that guy is exhausting. Just saying the whole name makes me tired.

I miss complaining the most. Its one of my guilty little pleasures, pointing out flaws with no intention to fix them. No one wants to follow a grumpy whiner and its been tough keeping all my bitching and moaning internalized. I miss having someone like Yan to vent to, unloading all my worries and insecurities to another human being even if they cant do anything about it. With Baledagh out of action, Im left with precious few options. Mila, Huu and Fung wouldnt understand and I cant burden sweet, innocent Lin with any of this, so here I am voicing all my complaints to an amorphous blob of water, only barely sentient enough to convey its complete and utter lack of concern or sympathy.

My new roommate is kind of an asshole. Ill name him Blobby. Or her. Or it. Whatever, this isnt about Blobby. This is about me.

Spectre devouring and Demonic blood neutralizing aside, there are upsides to keeping Blobby around, like its willingness to listen, or rather, it's unwillingness to escape. Taking full advantage of my captive audience, I unleash a torrent of grievances while riding towards the Defiled army with Major Yimu and Senior Captain XinYue. I didnt even get to take a nap. Whats the point of working so hard to retake a strong defensive position if were not gonna use it? Why not let your tired soldiers take a break and send those fresh, well-rested mercenaries to clean up? Itd be the logical thing to do, but Magistrate Chu Tongzu wants all the glory for the brave heroes of Sanshu, giving the nice cushy job to the schmucks who showed up late to the job. We dont even get to try out any of XiaoGongs lovely little catapults, the stingy fatty unwilling to lend us the weapons.

Its cool, sleeping can wait, its no big deal. Ive only been drowned, starved, beaten, traumatized, and denied sleep over the past few weeks, but yea, I can keep fighting. Who needs sleep?

Im so exhausted I could cry.

Oh right, another thing to complain about, lucky you Blobby. Usually, channelling the Energy of the Heavens helps keep me alert, but today meditation has been about as useful as nipples on a breastplate. I dont know what it is, I used to run on four hours of sleep while living in the village, but lately I feel tired all the time. It could be the long hours and heavy abuse, but it could also be a vitamin deficiency or plain old depression. Nothing a nice, long nap won't help, but Id settle for a hot cup of coffee. I miss it so much, the sweet, delicious nectar of the gods, far more useful than any other celestial fluids Ive come across. Oh man, the Blessing of Coffee would be awesome. I could keep an entire army alert, energized, regular, and well hydrated, all while tempting my foes with its sweet, intoxicating aroma. Then, when they come close for a sniff, BAM, scalding hot coffee to the face.

Can you top that Blobby? If not, then maybe I should put up ads for new tenants.

In response to my needling, my new friend emanates a sense of smug superiority and vague dismissal, wholly confident in its supremacy to coffee yet too lazy to bother proving it. Its only been a few hours since our reunion, but Im making great strides in understanding my deific excrement compatriot. A whimsical, arrogant entity, it refuses to act with no benefit to itself, happy to camp out and bask in my Chi without a care in the world. Normal conversation with it goes unanswered, only responding with vague emotions to thoughts and queries which threaten its comfortable existence. Im guessing it likes to eat Demonic energy, but it seems happy sucking down on my Chi, which raises several uncomfortable questions.

Why is Blobby here with me? If Im Baledaghs Demon, why didnt it try to eat me like it did the Spectres? Why does it want to eat Baledagh? Is it the reason Im so tired? So many questions, all ignored without explanation, though I dont think its out of malice. Blobby doesnt know why, acting out of instinct for lack of a better word, unable to explain its reasoning or logic because it lacks both. Like a white blood cell devouring harmful cells, Blobby merely fulfills its purpose, which seems to be glomping onto me and any Demonic energies in my vicinity, the parallels of which Im choosing to ignore for now.

Hopefully it has other redeeming attributes, but so far Im mildly disappointed. I wouldve thought having Heavenly Water in my... pocket? Would be more useful, but it doesnt seem to want to do anything. Water bullets, shields, blades, or even condensing a tiny droplet on my finger, Blobby ignores all my efforts to bring it out for show and tell, though everyone in the know takes my word at face value. I havent had time to explain things to Mila, but Tenjin explained things to Tursinai, Mila, and Song on the off-chance one of them knew something he didnt.

My beaming bride-to-be rides at my side, her bandaged face doing nothing to mar her adorable expression of pure bliss. Though she doesnt know what Blobby's presence means, shes thrilled by my great fortune and our current circumstances. Ive got Heavenly Water hanging out in my body cavities and weve got front-line tickets to the final battle in the War on Sanshu, so to her, everything is going perfectly.

Warrant Officer Falling Rain, your presence is requested at the front lines. XinYues Sending echos in my mind, eliciting an annoyed tch. I hate having people intrude on my thoughts. I wonder it theres any way to turn down Sendings, or set up call waiting or an answering machine. Something with a fun tune, like Believe it or not, Rain isnt at home. Please leave a message, at the beep. Hmm... I wonder if I can weaponize Sendings. Milas Sendings might be an asset, making enemies flinch though sheer volume. Hearing Surprise Motherfucker thundering through your skull could have interesting results.

Seconds pass in silence as the Defiled stand in wait, the three Champions not budging from their positions. What the fuck? Do I really have to do the whole spiel? Inwardly sighing, I announce my name with as much authority I can muster. I am Falling Rain, the Undying Savage... Yadda Yadda.

Oddly enough, when my introduction comes to an end, no one steps forward to greet me. This isnt how Id envisioned things going. Why arent they coming out to duel? C'mon, I'm a weak, helpless little runt and you're all big, strong Defiled. Come out and fight. Time is of the essence, I need to kill all three Aura-capable Champions and their five-hundred friends before the reinforcements arrive.

Fuck. I didnt think theyd be so cautious. I guess theyre being prudent, why risk it? Their reinforcements are probably already on the way, and Im a dead man walking. Ive never heard of a Defiled turning down a challenge, but now when I'm banking on it, I run into the only three spineless Champions in all of Sanshu. I'm never lucky.

While I struggle with indecision and confusion, Blobby continues to express its displeasure, giving off a sensation of animation without movement, saying cut it out before I do something about it. Its not thrilled about the lack of Chi, but theres nothing I can do. I need all my Chi, there are three Auras to contend with and Im straining to keep up.

Wait... I'm not straining, this is surprisingly easy. Relaxing the pressure of my Aura, Blobby immediate settles down while my enemies Auras slacken, no longer pushing against mine but still resisting, like a table for my arm to rest on. Weird, did all three Champions just sigh with relief? With three Auras, shouldnt they be able to put more pressure on me, or does it not work like that? Can I crush their Auras like Lins Guard tried to crush mine? If they wont come out to fight, this is my only option short of attacking head on.

Ill call that plan D, as in Dont wanna do it, or 'We're all gonna Die'.

Focusing on the closest Champion, I amp up the pressure, wrapping my Aura around my chosen foe and directing all my righteous anger, steadfast conviction, gut-wrenching anxiety, and heart-stopping terror towards him. Sweat drips down my neck as I channel the Energy of the Heavens directly into my Aura, slamming my opponent with a bevy of emotions. Fingers bruising as I grip my weapons, my Aura mimics my actions, squeezing around my opponents Aura in an attempt to pop it like a balloon.

Tense moments pass as the Champion struggles against me, my efforts failing despite giving it my all. As Im about to give up and call a retreat, Blobby figuratively rolls its non-existent eyes, moving through my body similar to how Chi moves, a warm, familiar feeling, but also foreign and strange. It does nothing to help in my Aura struggle, only flowing through Peace like I would Hone my blade, the energy turning into a thin chain made of sharp, interconnected links, the entire chain revolving even as the links spin like blades on a chainsaw. In a moment of clarity, I realize what Blobby is trying to say, but it takes a few seconds to figure out how. Randomly giving it a try, I picture my Aura as a swirling whirlpool made up of jagged edges, rotating around my opponent in a storm of motion.

The results are immediate as I shred the Defiled Champions Aura to pieces, his body stiffening in shock as my Aura takes hold. Riding the momentum of my first victory, I target the other two Champions in succession, tearing their Auras to pieces with my own in a matter of heartbeats. My Chi reserves drain away but it doesnt matter. With their Auras defeated, it only takes a modicum of effort to keep them from condensing again, allowing me to replenish my Chi reserves with ease. Pleased by the restoration of Chi flow, Blobby returns to wherever it normally stays, radiating pompous conceit and self-satisfaction.

Almost like its saying, Lets see coffee do that.

Raising Peace in the air, I yell, Soldiers of Sanshu. Charge!

Roaring with delight, I lead my soldiers and crash into the Defiled line, cutting down quasi-defenceless Butchers with ease as they struggle beneath my Aura, drowning beneath the same fear and desperation I constantly struggle with. Their limbs chained by terror and desperation, the Butchers are no match for our fiery fury, the dark-armoured warriors overrun by the stalwart defenders of Sanshu. Scything through them like chopping wood, theres no finesse or skill involved here, no Forms to display or elegant maneuvers, only overwhelming power in the form of Aura and muscle. When the dust settles, five hundred enemies of the Empire lie dead without a single loss, our voices rising in cheers of victory.

Grinning through the fatigue, I turn towards the alley entrance, darkened by the oncoming Defiled reinforcements. Stopped in their tracks, they gaze upon my triumphant army, their hesitation and uncertainty thick in the air, expecting to come upon a struggling foe but finding their friends crushed into oblivion. My orders echo off the alley walls. Ravil stand down. Bulat, with me! Joined by the second half of my forces, I charge these new foes, unleashing the raging blades of my Aura to tear apart all opposition. One Aura falls, followed by another, but the third gives me pause, resisting the storm of Chi. While fighting on the front lines, I struggle against my unseen foe in a metaphysical battle, setting upon him from all sides like a ravenous wolf.

Taking chunk after chunk out of my opponents aura, its only a matter of time before it too crumbles before my savage might. Letting loose with an exultant howl, my Aura crashes into the Defiled Butchers, their last line of defence crushed and their Champions vanquished. My Aura is light and unable to wholly restrain them, but still we hold the upper hand, with no quarter asked and no quarter given. Pushing them back step by step, my soldiers ravage through the Defiled forces with me leading from the front, each of us covered in the blood of our enemies. My world dissolves into a repetitive trance of hack and slash, killing any who stand against me without mercy.

Stepping out of the alleyway and onto the avenue, I watch the Defiled remnants flee before me, panting with effort and coursing with adrenaline. Unable to believe its finally over, I glance at my tired, bloodied soldiers, triumphant disbelief etched on every face. Laughter cuts through the silence as Bulat grins back at me, sporting a multitude of minor injuries but otherwise in one piece. Snapping to attention, he salutes and shouts, The Undying Savage, Unrivalled Beneath Heaven!

The soldiers take up the cheer, almost a thousand voices shouting Unrivalled Beneath Heaven, in unison. Mouth dry and head light, I fight to stay on my feet and look suitably heroic, hoping Bulats stupid title doesnt bite me in the ass. Im starting to understand why everyone craves honour and glory. Its not too shabby, but Unrivalled Beneath Heaven? No thank you.

Thats just asking to be challenged.

Chapter Meme