Savage Divinity - The Final Chapter April Fools Joke

Savage Divinity - The Final Chapter April Fools Joke

Swept out by the current, Falling Rain descended into the dark depths of the Azure Sea. Presumed dead, the Behkai searched high and low while Lin sat in silent vigil, watching over the Sea with forlorn hope. For two days and two nights, there was no sign of her hubby, but still she persevered, kneeling on the sand in silent prayer and awaiting his safe return.

And on the third day, he rose again.

Sailors and fisherfolk marked his passing, watching in awe as he emerged from the fog and strode across the surface of Nan Ping Bay, a muscular giant among men with jade-like skin, finely-chiselled features, thick, luxurious hair, and a massive, magnum dong. Moving neither quickly nor slowly, he walked across the water with head held high and hands clasped behind his back, his footsteps causing no ripples as the morning breeze carried him along his way. Arriving on the northern shore outside the Bekhai camp, he was greeted by the tearful smile of his sweet wifey Lin. Taking her into his arms, he kissed her right on the lips and said, Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.

His smooth, dulcet tones reached Lins ears and her flower flooded with juices and soaked her panties which fell of their own accord. Ripping away the rest of her clothes, he laid her down on the beach and consummated their marriage beneath the heavens, while encouraging everyone nearby to watch. A vision of beauty and wonder, all who saw him work were enlightened in the Dao of Manwhoring through this comprehensive and lengthy lesson, praising Falling Rain for his manly refinement, incredible prowess, and artistic imagination.

After twelve hours of passionate love-making and six hours of respectful cuddling, Falling Rain stood up, fist bumped Taduk (who watched the entire lesson), and said, I totally banged your daughter.

Mad respect, Taduk replied.

Turning to face the Azure Sea, Rain sighed. But there is still so much banging to be done. This world languishes in ignorance, but how can I spread my Dao of Manwhoring to them all?

Brow furrowed in thought, Taduk poured over his newfound enlightenment for ideas. Clapping his hands, he exclaimed, Clones!

Great idea. Raising his arms, Falling Rain called upon the Energy of the Heavens and created a clone of himself in like totally less than five minutes. Studying his work, he nodded and asked, So hows the new body bro?

Totally awesome. Flexing his prodigious muscles which were a mirror of Rains own, Baledagh continued, Check out how swole I am. Im not a manlet anymore. This is awesome!

It was indeed awesome. Falling Rain then ascended from this plane of existence and pimp-slapped the Father out of existence, telling the Mother, Woman, you deserve better than him. Didnt you know? Moms are hawt, you got options. Also, quit hoarding souls like some crazy soul-lady, its super weird. After banging her into complacency and lying about calling her back, Rain stole Qing-Qings soul from Her embrace and returned to existence. Crafting a new body for her soul, Rain gave her huge tits and a phat ass. There you go bro, your waifu is back.

Baledagh replied, Noice, and thus got to banging the newly resurrected and thoroughly confused Qing-Qing.

Having already mastered the skill of cloning because he was a talent seen once in a millennium, Falling Rain created clone after clone in the blink of an eye and sent them out into the world to spread his Dao, fornicating with the women of the Empire while the men watched and were Enlightened. All was well until he sensed a disturbance in the force and teleported over just in time to see five of his clones drained dry in an instant by Yans unparalleled technique. Licking her fingers clean, she winked and struck a sexy pose, her back arched, legs spread, and hands behind her head. Ive banged thousands of other dudes ever since we split, so youll have to do better than that if you want to satisfy me.

Doubt it, Rain replied, glad the old man had offered his name without prompting. I mean, I already pimp-slapped the Father into oblivion, so how strong could they possibly be?

Wait, seriously?

Yea, it was like the third thing I did today, after boning my wifey and getting my bro a bod. All this is just clean up. Shaking his head, Rain added, It was a dumb move, Its all so anticlimactic. Shouldve left the big guy for the end, but I jumped the gun to get my boi laiddddd. Anyway, are you the mid-boss or second-to-last boss?

This is such bullshit! the Uniter whined, his face red with frustration. Im like eight hundred years old and youre telling me you got this strong in less than twenty?

Git Gud Scrub. Exiting his Gundam, Rain grasped his sheathed Katana. Want to know the secret to my strength? I studied the blade. With that said, Rain disappeared from sight. Glancing left and right, the Uniter saw no sign of his foe until Rain spoke again. Nothing personnel kid. Turning his giant scorpion wheelchair around, the Uniter saw the back of Rains flowing trench coat as he sheathed his Katana. Omae wa mou Shindeiru (you are already dead).

Unsure why he was suddenly seeing subtitles, the Uniter glanced down to find himself bisected at the waist and slowly sliding apart. Hmph, you think youve won? he asked with a contemptuous smile. Fool, this isnt even my final form! Craning his head back to face the sky, the Uniter let loose with an anime roar as he powered up. The Dick Demons around him melted away and fused together, transforming the Uniter into a towering, colossal creature of phallic nightmare. Dick fingers, dick teeth, writhing skin made of dicks, everywhere you looked, there were dicks touching one another, a horrific and boner killing sight. You may have cultivated the Dao of Manwhoring, but I studied the Dao of Yaoi, which is anathema to your Dao. Accept defeat!

Knowing this to be true because he didnt want to touch another mans dick, Rain sighed and threw away his weapons, standing there in his trench coat and fedora. Youre right. Your Dao of Yaoi is anathema to my Manwhoring ways. Grabbing the lapels of his trench coat, he smirked and added, But who says the Dao of Manwhoring is my only Dao? Ripping aside his trench coat, he exposed his now flacid, magnum dong, which glowed with a resplendent golden light. It was all so simple, I should have seen it from the beginning. My amber eyes, the Tear of the Mother, my golden, magnum dong, its all so obvious. My name is no longer Falling Rain. From this day forward, call me: Golden Rain, Master of the Dao of Piss!

With that said, Golden Rain took his magnum dong in both hands and let loose with a concentrated stream of piss so powerful it sliced the Uniter in two. Having only just begun, Golden Rain showered the entire western province with his purifying piss, smiling as the rescued citizens rejoiced and danced beneath the warm, salty shower while the Defiled and Demons melted away into nothingness. Channelling the Dao of Piss, Golden Rain scoured the last of the Fathers filth from the five provinces with a single, prolonged stream of fragrant, golden liquid.

Once finished, he returned to his people and graciously accepted the offer to become the Emperor. Cuddling with his three wives and millions of animal-eared concubines, Rain then explained his past as a transmigrator and how hed been sent here to save this world from evil.

Cool, Lin said, accepting Rains story easily. But why you? Why this world?

Isnt it obvious mlady? Rain asked, tipping his fedora. Because this is my magical realm.

Then, the Azure Empire blinked out of existence as Rayne took his final breath, no longer assisted by the machines which kept him alive all this time.

- Fin -Updated from novelbIn.(c)om