Chapter 341

Chapter 341

After a short break for lunch, the Imperial Grand Conference picks back up where it left off once the Legate and his soldiers parade back onto the floating stage, a process which is less than exhilarating. Then again, itll be hard to match this mornings levels of excitement. Not to toot my own horn, but Im fairly certain my stunning victory over Wu Gam will be the highlight of the day, a milestone moment which will be spoken of for years to come.

Okay, fine, Im tooting my own horn, but so what? It feels good. Nothing wrong with a little self-toot every once in a while. Not like Ill go blind, thats just an old wives tale.

Sadly, the days victory was tainted by the arrival of my unwanted concubine and her accusing, tear-filled gaze. Its so weird, why does a Servant need 360 soldiers? Whos trying to kill her? And since when were dowries not a gift for the husband? Whatever. Putting her out of mind, I try to forget my problems and enjoy some good old-fashioned blood sport, but sadly, the Legate calls a steady stream of miscellaneous yet somehow important bigwigs to the stage to present their gifts in a non-violent fashion. I cant blame him for milking this, because who doesnt love getting gifts? Bored by the pageantry and exhausted from my action packed morning and the sleepless, traumatizing night preceding it, I cuddle up with Lin, Mila, and Ping Ping for a nice afternoon nap beneath the sun, hoping all my problems will be gone by the time I wake.

To my immense disappointment, my problems still exist when Lin wakes me to watch Akanai take the stage with Husolt, Tokta, Dagen, Ghurda, and a multitude of other Sentinels and former bannermen. Looking resplendent atop their well-groomed and well-disciplined battle quins, the difference is like day and night when compared to my rag-tag retinue, leading me to consider stricter dress codes or uniforms. Joined by the married Exharches Bralton and Erien and a few other mercenaries Ive never heard of, they represent the Imperial Defence Forces of the Northern province. And only the Northern Province.

Boo. No inter-province rivalries settled or feuds enacted today. Boring.

Having denied Akanai the opportunity to show off her superior ass-kicking prowess, I take solace from the fact that the Legate does the same to everyone else. When it comes time for the Northern Imperial Army to present themselves, my Mentor stands as Nian Zus right hand man and successor, with Situ Jia Yang and Han BoHai beside them. Baatars exotic appearance stands out among the sea of almost identical humans, his silver-white hair and clear blue eyes visible even from a distance, a resplendent and dignified warrior in his gold-trimmed armour and black cloak bearing his wolf insignia. Even Baatars hulking roosequin Balor is sporting armour today, though neither rider nor mount have a chance to put it to use as the first day of the Imperial Grand Conference eventually comes to an end without any further violence.

This sucks. I wanted to see Akanai and Baatar smack the shit out of a bunch of famous people like the original Gam, Shuai Jiao, Du Min Gyu and Ryo Dae Jung. It wouldve been fun for the whole family to display our martial prowess and dominate our rivals throughout the Empire as a whole but I guess the Legate didnt want powerful Martial Warriors duking it out on a raft, especially while hes sitting on it. Understandable, I suppose, considering the young talents already did a fair amount of damage to the stage and there couldnt possibly be an endless supply of replacement rafts to fix it. Besides, Im sure theres some personal safety issues with letting peak experts fight so close to the Imperial Legate, though I dont know why anyone would want him dead. As far as Yuzhen knows, Shen Zhenwu is a nobody, a youngish Imperial Scion who no one in the outer provinces has ever met before.

This gives me all the more reason not to trust him. It might be the paranoia speaking, but why would the Emperor send an unknown and untried youth to handle something of this magnitude? The Emperor has a Grand Marshal, a Prime Minister, and a General of the Army, but decided this thirty-something year old pretty boy was better equipped to ensure the continued survival of the outer provinces? No fucking way. Chances are, Centrals already been given up for dead and were all here as meat for the meat-grinder.

Just because Im paranoid doesnt mean the Emperor isnt out to get us.

Although this day feels like its been going on for weeks now, its still only mid-afternoon and there are plenty of festivities left to enjoy. Being the anti-social recluse that I am, Id much rather stay here on the beach, lounging with Ping Ping and my two brides-to-be while Mama Bun stretched across our collective laps. Its nice to sit arm in arm with my two lovely betrothed while ignoring all my issues and responsibilities. Lin napping on me in public is nothing new, but Mila is surprisingly forward today, holding my arm hostage throughout the entire ceremony. In light of the warmer Central climate, Milas taken to wearing long, loose shirts and little else, making for an alluring sight whenever her shirt slips to one side and exposes a single, lightly freckled shoulder. Throw in Lins sleep murmuring and Mama Buns aggressive snuggles and I could lay here all week if the world left me alone.

Unable to resist her allure, I kiss Milas shoulder and Send, So my love, how does it feel to be betrothed to the number one talent in the Empire?

After an adorably grumpy grimace, Mila bares her teeth and replies, How should I know? I should be asking you the same thing.Updated from novelbIn.(c)om

Fair enough, but let your beleaguered betrothed enjoy his moment for a few hours before you take it away, okay? If she challenges me in public, Ill be faced with a difficult decision. Either I fight fair and let her take away my glory or use Aura to save face and suffer in private. While I dont care too much about the title or the fame which comes with it, its nice to be on top for once, instead of the perpetual underdog and lifes whipping boy.

Hmph. Enjoy your head. Her sultry glare makes me wish we were back at the Wall and alone in her smithy, where the walls are thick and the neighbours loud enough to drown out any noise we make. Youve enjoyed yourself plenty and I deserve a win. Im sure your new concubine will soothe your hurt feelings afterwards.

Dont be jealous. Nuzzling her shoulder, I sigh and shake my head, enjoying the soft texture of her bare skin. Seriously, Im not joking. I barely even know her and already I dont like her.

...About that. Nudging me none too lightly with her shoulder, Mila puffs her cheeks in sullen anger. I cant believe youre making me stand up for your new concubine, but dont you think youre being too harsh with her? A few sentences into your first conversation and you already made her cry.

Oof. Shes joking, but its a little too real. Then again, itd be stupid to expect her to live out the rest of her life alone after Im gone...

Satisfied with her victory, Mila gingerly moves Mama Buns legs off of her lap and hops to her feet, stretching her arms and back with a series of sexy grunts. Im in the mood for a little exercise. Song, do you want to spar?

Thankful to have been spared the shame of a public defeat, I wave goodbye as Mila saunters off with Li Song, leaving me with Lin, Luo-Luo, and all my pets. After waking Lin with a soft kiss and putting my loving Aura to good use, I wrangle all my animals and head back to my yurt carrying Sir Inkys cauldron, hoping the angry octopus is still alive. He hasnt made a peep since this mornings horrifying tentacle mouth molestation and Im too scared to check. Not in public at least, I have an image to maintain after all.

While Im distracted thinking about how to get Sir Inky to love me in a less physical manner, Luo-Luo and Lin-Lin share a lengthy whispering session which comes to an end when my lovely, long-eared wifey hops onto my back and declares, Were throwing a welcome party for Luo-Luo tonight, hubby. You dont hafta do anything, you just have to be there, okay?

Ugh. Does it have to be tonight? Or you know... ever?

Yup. The Legate gifted Luo-Luo to us, but if no one knows about it then he wont be happy, so the sooner the better, ya?

Okay, but dont go overboard. Last I checked, were running low on coin and 360 more soldiers wont help.

Hm, about that hubby. Resting her cheek on my shoulder, Lin makes sure I can see her big brown eyes before whispering, We might actually earn coin by throwing a party. Its not exactly a wedding, but since shes your concubine, its sort of like a wedding, ya? People will bring gifts, so I think we should spend a little more.

God, its been a few hours and Luo-Luo already has Lin and the twins wrapped around her finger. How much? I ask, not bothering to lower my voice.

Not too much. Judging by Lins averted glance, thats not true at all. After a long silence in which my raised eyebrow refuses to drop, my wifey flashes a sheepish smile and continues. We need a big space for all our guests, so I said we could rent out the six restaurants around the duelling stage we always go to. As the bride, Luo-Luo also needs a red dress, she only has purple, gold, green, blue, black, and yellow. She doesnt need new jewellery, but itd be nice to have something she can show the guests and say was from you. She also needs a zither to perform for the guests and at least two handmaidens to accompany her. Well hafta hire servers and cooks, maybe some other entertainment, and -

Stop. Dear sweet Mother in Heaven, has Lin lost her mind or is Luo-Luos charisma stat through the roof? How did she convince my sweet wifey to spend so much money? Turning to face the towering succubus, I break the news as gently as possible, because I cannot deal with a womans tears. Look, I dont know what standards you were accustomed to or what misconceptions you have about me, but Im not some princeling or rich young noble with vast estates and holdings. I understand the need for a party, but I cant afford the opulent and luxurious lifestyle youve envisioned for yourself. Ill talk to Mister Rustram and see what we can spare, but I can tell you right now, new dresses, jewellery and handmaidens are almost certainly out of my price range. Probably the zither too. Instruments are expensive, right? And six restaurants? I dont think I even know enough people to fill six restaurants. If youre upset because I took away your guards, Im sorry, but it had to be done. Theres no way Im letting that many soldiers wander around camp unchecked under the control of a possible spy, but itd be rude to mention it. I promise I wont let you suffer a loss, but like I told you earlier, Im having money flow issues, issues which a big extravagant party would only exacerbate.

Throughout the whole spiel, Luo-Luos expression goes from cheerful and excited to utterly depressed in the span of a single minute. Visibly choking on her tears, she curtsies and responds with a simple, It shall be as Falling Rain says. Luo-Luo apologizes for overstepping her bounds.

God if shes faking then shes the best actress in the world. I hate how she says my name like its a title, but I dont want to correct her more than necessary. No. Dont just shut down and accept whatever I say. Im not angry or upset and even if I were, you have nothing to fear from me. Please, be reasonable and lets work together. We need to throw you a welcoming party to give the Legate face. I have monetary concerns. How do we solve this? Lets go inside, sit down, and discuss this like sensible people. Putting the cauldron down, I crack the lid open, toss in a handful of dried fish, and slam the lid back down, all the while praying Inky is still alive so I wont disappoint Taduk. Leaving Ping Ping to guard our new friend and the bunny enclosure, I head into my yurt with Lin, Luo-Luo, and the rest of my pets to plan a party I neither want nor can afford.

This morning, I became Falling Rain, number one talent in the Empire.

Judging by Luo-Luos sulky pout, Ive earned a new title: Falling Rain, cheapskate party pooper.

Chapter Meme