Chapter 350

Chapter 350

Its amusing how despite all her talk of decorum, Luo-Luo is so starstruck she almost forgets to curtsy for the Legate. She has plenty of book smarts but is completely lacking in real life experience, a caged songbird seeing the world for the very first time. Then again, in her defence, the Legate is rather handsome and dignified, rocking a neat man-bun and a clean-shaven look which shows off his strong jawline and fair, youthful features. His vibrant casual robes make my second best set shirt and pants look plain and muted in comparison, and even though he sits at ease, its hard not to notice his broad shoulders and muscular chest hidden beneath the folds of embroidered silk, a physique built on good genetics, proper nutrition, and a whole lot of hard work.

Plus hes tall, the lucky bastard.

Holding back my tears of jealousy, I utter the customary demeaning greeting alongside Yuzhen and Akanai. Ten thousand years of boundless longevity upon the Emperor. Imperial Servant greets Imperial Legate.

Dispense with formalities, the Legate responds, gesturing at the chairs. Be seated.

My ass is halfway to the chair when Yuzhen responds, her head still bowed in deference. Imperial Servant does not dare.

Fucking courtesy B.S shenanigans... Frozen mid-stride, I stand like an idiot while the Legate and Yuzhen do their little song and dance. He insists we make ourselves comfortable and she says we dont deserve the honour, then he puts his foot down and she reluctantly agrees. Its all bullshit and delays me from sitting for a good five seconds, during which my thigh cramps up from the awkward positioning. When I finally get to sit and relax, with Akanai in the middle and Yuzhen on the far left, I realize theres no seat for Luo-Luo to sit. After a seconds thought, I leave it be as it was probably done on purpose and my new concubine seems content to stand off to the side and sneak glances at the oh-so-handsome Legate. Bet she wishes he kept her for himself. Theyd make a lovely couple, what with them both being gorgeous and of similar height. Hmph. Whats so great about being tall anyways? Im compact, efficient, and my clothes are cheaper because it takes less fabric to make them.

So what if I have to shop in the teens section? Its all the same tailor-made clothes anyways, and Ill probably ruin them within a day.

The old Seneschal pours three cups of tea for us and stands aside while Yuzhen makes polite conversation with the Legate. In the meantime, I do my best not to fall asleep and wonder what Id look like with a man-bun. Awesome I bet, but then Id have to brush and style my hair every day. Besides, it takes deceptively long hair to pull off something like that, which means itd be at least two years of looking terrible before reaching sexy man-bun status. I could dress nicer too, but I hate robes. Theyre not simple and easy at all. Theres the inner-robe, which is like your typical comfy house robe and not so bad, but then theres the outer-robe, which is where things get complicated. Its not always a robe per-se, sometimes its a vest, or a long coat, or even a shirt, but its always elaborate, shiny, and in a different colour from the under-robes. Then theres the sash, which ties the whole outfit together, both literally and figuratively, and hangs down in front of the legs like a flat, flaccid silk dick.

Nice as it all looks, it seems like a lot of trouble to put on every day even if you exclude all the other attachments like cloth shoulder pads, ornamental, detachable collars, and fancy hats and hair pins. Plus, how would I even fight while wearing those layers? Id probably trip on my robes and impale myself by accident. No, tight shirt and slim pants are the way to go.

Though theres something enticing about sporting a giant silk dick...

After exchanging an appropriate amount of small talk, the Legate puts down his teacup and I copy Yuzhen and do the same, though Akanai drains hers first before following suit. A power move, I guess, subtle, but telling. I dont understand what message shes trying to convey, whether its displeasure at the Legates lack of response to the repeated attempts on my life or showing she isnt intimidated by his rank and nobility. Who knows, maybe shes thirsty and wanted to finish her tea, subtle is complicated. Either way, the Legate appears unperturbed by her unhurried demeanour, waiting until her cup rests firmly on the table before continuing on. So, yet another attempt has been made on your life, at a banquet in honour of your new concubine, no less. How inauspicious.

Without looking, I can feel Luo-Luo tensing up at the Legates words, probably reading too much into them and flying into a panic like she does so often. This one puts little faith in portents and omens. Considering how quickly we rushed things into place, my enemies most likely already had their pieces in play, and the banquet merely provided them with the opportunity to strike.

Have you determined who was behind the attack?

After a quick glance at Akanai to confirm, I shake my head and sigh. Not yet, but we have people working on it. Work Id rather not be privy to.Updated from novelbIn.(c)om

With narrowed eyes, the Legates smile turns from smarmy to scary, displeased by my unknown assailants. Hmph. How daring, Ill see to it the perpetrators suffer to the full extent of the law. Send word once you have a likely suspect in mind, someone with means and motivation aplenty. Ive ordered the Magistrate punished for his lack of security in hiring servants, and he is to lend whatever aid you should require in apprehending these criminals.

Do not plead for mercy on behalf of the Magistrate. Yuzhens Sending arrives just in time and I swallow my words. The sentence has already been carried out and an appeal will only put you at odds with the Legate. Just smile and thank him.

So complicated. This one thanks Imperial Legate for his support in these trying times.

Nonsense. With a grin which makes him look even younger than he already does, he adds, Im only doing whats expected. I couldnt possibly sit by while someone tries to assassinate the newest member of the Imperial Clan. The Emperor, Blessed be His Name, would have my head for it.

Oh right. This one thanks -

I.

Uh... Sorry?

I. Pointing at me with his fan, the Legate mock reprimands my choice of pronoun. Youre of Imperial Peerage now, which means you are no longer to refer to yourself as this one. I when conversing with your lessers and in informal settings such as ours, and Imperial Consort when in formal settings.

Finally, something good comes of this whole mess, though Im still not thrilled about being called Imperial Consort. Might as well call myself Imperial Manwhore. Then I thank the Legate for this great honour, though I worry Ive done nothing to deserve it. Gotta be humble, plus I dont know what he wants in return.

Seeing through my attempt to play coy, the Legate smiles and says, I must admit, I had my eye on you even before I arrived. A young hero hailing from parts unknown who stumbled across a nefarious Defiled plot, who then played a pivotal role in Sanshus defence and Butcher Bays downfall. Yo Lings Bane, one playwright called you, a rising young dragon bound for heights unknown.

Damn, that sounds awesome. Exaggeration and hyperbole. At best, I played a supporting role throughout the entire ordeal. Magistrate Chu Tongzu and the united people of Sanshu are the true heroes.

As we file out into the hallway and back to the antechamber where Ping-Ping awaits, Akanai explains the Legates abrupt dismissal through Sending. It is common knowledge you have a grudge against the Canston Trading Group, so you cannot be present when the Legate assaults one of their properties. Theyre backed by Zhu Chanzui, and thus we must adhere to the law else he might claim weve broken the Treaty and targeted him unjustly.

Whats the Treaty?

...An agreement between the Empire and creatures of power which keeps everyone in check through threat of mutually assured destruction. Ask no more, for this is all I know.

Hmm. Fun. Apparently, the Empire is stuck in a cold war with Ancestral Beasts. Cool, cool, cool.

The rest of the trip back to camp is spent in silence as I revel over the justification of my boundless hatred of piggies and mohawks. It might not be enough to end Big Poppa Piggy, but with proof of their misdeeds, the Canston Trading Group will be dead and gone by the end of the week.

Ah, sweet, sweet revenge...

The Death Corps park the palanquin right outside my door, and by the time I step out, Ping-Ping is already burrowed in for the night. Strange turtle. Wont let me take a bath indoors but is happy to let me go meet with the Legate. Probably because she already got what she wanted, the pervert. Patting her beak goodnight, I count the bunbuns in their enclosure and the sleeping birds on the roof, mostly for my own peace of mind. After panicking because Roc was missing and finding him asleep in a corner of the bunbun enclosure, I head back to my yurt for a well-deserved rest after the longest day of my life.

Lord Husband? Arms crossed and shoulders slumped, Luo-Luo looks so scared and vulnerable standing beneath the moonlight, but more importantly, between me and my yurt where precious sleep is to be had. Might we speak in private for a moment? Luo-Luo has something important to reveal.

Ill bet she does. Her intentions are obvious and my self-control non-existent. If she makes a move on me in the yurt, shell be subjected to the most disappointing three seconds of her life before I explode and fall asleep. It can wait. Doing my best to step around her, Luo-Luo moves to block my way and Im forced to stop before I crash into her pillowy breasts.

Mm, Id love to sink my face into them and fall asleep...

But Lord Husband, she whines, probably all too aware of what Im staring at. Its Luo-Luos wedding night...

Sorry, but I told you earlier, theres no need for this. Look, Im exhausted and would really like to sleep now. Well pick this up tomorrow okay? Li Song moved into Milas yurt, so you have the place all to yourself. Its right over there -

My words fall on deaf ears as Luo-Luo flares with anger, finally showing her true, petulant nature. Turning around, she moves to enter my yurt uninvited, but unfortunately for her, while yurt doors dont lock, they do latch, and theres a trick to opening them that isnt apparent at first glance. While she jiggles away at the doorknob, I glance around in search of help, but Jorani and the others have scampered off and I dont feel right asking the Death Corps to drag her away. For once, I could use the monks help, but hes been curiously absent for most of the day and not sitting in his customary place next to my door. Strange, considering were supposed to have our hour long debate where he tries to convert me to his ways, which happens to include celibacy.

What am I doing? A gorgeous woman who I am technically married to wants to do the horizontal tango. Not exactly the worst problem in the world. Besides, it is our wedding night...

Ah ha! Luo-Luos triumphant declaration wakes me from my stupor as she figures out how to open the latch. Watching her voluptuous body straining against her oh-so-tiny dress, my heart-beat speeds up at the prospect of sex. Its been so long since Ive been with a woman, and while I feel guilty for wanting to sleep with someone besides Mila or Lin, they both insist on waiting until after marriage which wont be for another year or two. Im a man, a man with needs, and if Luo-Luo is willing, then I dont see why two consenting adults cant do the nasty -

The door bursts open and Luo-Luo falls back with a shriek as fangs and fury come barrelling out, snarling and hissing up a storm while guarding the door. Catching her before she falls, I tilt my head at the familiar shape and stench before my tired brain finally clicks and the pieces fall into place once more. Zabu! I cry, unceremoniously hoisting Luo-Luo to her feet and abandoning her to go greet my first quin. Hiya buddy. Remember me? Its been so long, gimme a hug.

Rearing up at the sound of my voice, Zabu bares his teeth and gives me a few experimental sniffs. With a throaty grunt of acknowledgement, he turns around and disappears back into the yurt, without so much as a scritch, boop, or poof. Flooded with disappointment, I tell myself thats how Zabu is, an unfriendly battle quin who doesnt like hugs, grooming, or apparently long-anticipated reunions. Its okay. Im not hurt or anything. I got dirt in my eye, is all. Im so tired I cant stop yawning, and all these tears keep leaking -

Emerging from the yurt, Zabu dumps two large, furry bundles into my arms and rushes back inside with a squeak and a chirp. Glancing down at the unexpected gift, I find two fuzzy, otter-sized roosequins staring back through sleepy eyes, their little roosequin feet sticking up in the air as they nuzzle into my arms. Slowly dropping to my knees, I coo in delight at the sweet baby quins, marvelling at their soft, dense fur and how completely at ease they are in the arms of a stranger. They trust their daddy and know hed never deliver them to someone dangerous, dont they? Yes they do. Returning with two more pups in his arms and Shana carrying a third, Zabu arranges his babies in a pile before me and sits back, his head held high as if to say, Look at what I made while I inwardly squee in delight.

Wait... if theyre here... does that mean Yans waiting inside too?

Luo-Luo, go back to your yurt. Well talk in the morning. Giving her no time to argue, I bring the pups back inside with Zabu and Shanas help. Lips stretched in a smile, I wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Yan? I whisper, not wanting Luo-Luo to overhear. You there?

Silence is my answer and after a moment, I realize the yurt is empty but for me and the seven quins, with no gorgeous, luscious-lipped, peach-butted Yan waiting naked beneath my covers. Or you know, at all. She doesnt have to be naked. Though it would be nice if she were. And here. But shes not.

Why not? Is it because Im so late getting back? Why did she bring Zabu and Shana here? Was it so I could meet the pups, or is there more to this?

Laying down on the floor, I arrange all five pups in a pile on and around me, giggling at their sleepy little yawns as they snuggle into my chest and neck. Zabu and Shana settle down beside me, and I wait for sleep to come while staring at the most adorable little faces in the world.

Whatever, this is good too. Floof is love, floof is life.

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