Chapter 426

Chapter 426

Ive had it with these mother-fucking Spectres in this mother-fucking retinue.

As nice as it would be to have a steady supply of Spectres, theres too much I dont know about the birthing process to feel comfortable. Does it harm them in any way? Are they losing a part of their soul? What if my people go full Defiled before I can save them? Hovering about while Taduk checks on Awdar, I try to come up with non-specific questions to ask Jorani. Ral said things looked bad?

Wringing his hands and refusing to look me in the eye, Jorani watches Awdar with lips pressed and fists clenched. I swear on me life, he took a turn fer the worse. Sobbin and hurlin like there aint no tomorrow, sick as a dog he were. Something didnt feel right so I sent fer ye, but he calmed down right as ye got here. Barking in anxious laughter, Jorani adds, After ye left again, he took one sniff of yer soup and he was like a brand new man. Must be some real miracle herbs in it, eh bossman?

Nah, its normal chicken soup. Double boiled and made with the tastiest, most flavourful chickens Ive ever eaten, but no magic herbs or spices, only mundane ones. You said he was crying and vomiting before I got here. Anything else?

The gathered crowd scatters at a pointed glance from Jorani, a skill I envy and desire. Thing is, he says, keeping his voice low despite our newfangled privacy, I cant exactly say what it was, but something was off. He kept goin on about how he werent a good man and how Mum Above wouldnt want him, on account of all the killin hes done. Said he was bein haunted by the dead and it was a sign he deserved to be punished, and it felt... wrong. Shuddering at the memory, Jorani tries to laugh it off once more. Might be gettin a little long in the tooth and soft in the head. Sorry to disturb ye over nothin, and doubly so for botherin the Medical Saint.

Ah yes, guilt and self-blame, delicious Spectre bait laid out for them to feast. You were concerned and went with your gut. No need to be sorry. Especially since his gut was right. Awdar calmed down right before I arrived because I Devoured the new-born Spectre the second I saw it. Dollars to donuts the wrongness Jorani felt was the actual birth itself, an incident Im glad I missed and hope to never experience again. That said, considering I wasnt around to see it first-hand, Im only guessing a Spectre was birthed because last I checked, Awdar was Spectre free and there are no ghosties hanging about who couldve infected him. This marks the second time Ive been close to a Spectre birthing, which raises a whole host of new questions I have no answers for. Am I a walking font of gloom and despair who enables the birth of Spectres, or is Jorani to blame? Maybe Spectre births can occur anytime and anywhere and I happen to be unlucky enough to have two hosts in my retinue, but if someone is to blame, what can I do to lower the incident rate?

Or raise it. I mean, I did get a free Spectre to nom on and Awdar looks much improved from when I last saw him. Its not saying much considering he was an inconsolable, strung-out mess, but any improvement is a win. Clutching an empty vomit bucket to his chest, the lanky druggies expression is one of calm and serenity, his eyes glazed and gaze detached as Taduk carries on his inspection. Awdars withdrawal symptoms have all but disappeared, his heartbeat steady and body still, no longer wracked by the involuntary tremors of addiction. There are no signs of the inner turmoil and self-recrimination Jorani witnessed first hand, and if not for his vomit-encrusted collar, cracked lips, and bloodshot eyes, I mightve thought Awdar was deep in a meditative trance.

Even for a Martial Warrior, recovering this quickly from withdrawal is kind of ridiculous.

Then again, maybe Awdar wasnt going through withdrawal to begin with. The symptoms presented themselves much too quickly, barely an hour after we burned his stash, but I chalked it up to the potency of Dream Smoke. Is it possible his dependency and subsequent withdrawal was mostly mental which led to a downward spiral which culminated in birthing a Spectre?

Or something. I dunno.

If true, then it might explain why Awdar looks so much better now. I didnt put much stock into it before, but Jorani was the same after I Devoured his birthed Spectre, going about his duties with renewed focus as if hed shed all his worries and despair. If Spectres are born from negative emotions, then it stands to reason those negative emotions would be lessened after I Devour said Spectre, a sort of cathartic release, in a sense. Its not a perfect assumption, because emotions dont have a quantifiable presence and Spectres are supposedly itinerant souls or whatever, but its the best guess Ive got. It might also be why the Defiled are so big on torture and bloodshed, because theyre being driven to cause fear and misery so more Spectres will be born.

Finally... an argument to end slavery which the Empire might actually accept. Better working conditions equals happier people equals fewer shitty Spectres floating about. Now I just need to figure out how to prove it without being condemned as a heretic or whatever.

...Wait.

What if the higher ups already know and their solution is to ensure mistreated slaves dont live long enough to become a problem? Itd be about par for the course for this shitty Empire...

While I struggle to ignore the host of Spectres residing in my brain, Taduk draws back with a tired sigh, a result of spending his mornings hunting for Spiritual Plants and his afternoons Healing my injured soldiers. Theres a good reason most injuries arent treated by Healers, because the cost-benefit is heavily skewed in favour of the former. Assuming an injury would cost one unit of Chi to self-Heal, it might cost Taduk anywhere between three to ten units depending on the complexity of the injury. This doesnt take into account the focus required to direct and control Healing, as I myself experienced before pioneering Panacea, nor the mental fatigue accrued from long bouts of intense concentration. While Taduk can also use Panacea to Heal others, its advantages are mostly lost when used on someone besides yourself. While Traditional Healing might be more Chi intensive, Panacea Healing requires much more time to work, time my teacher has precious little to spare.

Even though hes busy and most of my soldiers will recover on their own, he still insists on looking everyone over and Healing anyone who needs it, his way of helping me fight the good fight. Patting Awdars head like he would a childs, Taduk says, The worst has passed for now. Eat and drink as much as you can, but no need to force it. Avoid drugs and alcohol for a few days, and with rest, you should be back to full strength in no time. Turning to Jorani, he adds, If he continues to vomit into the night, then come find myself or the boy, yes?

Yes Ser, Medical Saint Ser, thank ye kindly. Bowing and scraping as if faced with the Legate himself, Jorani says, Sorry fer wastin yer time Medical Saint. Like I was tellin the bossman, I cant rightly say what came over me, lettin my stupid worries get to me like that. Sorry and thank ye again.

Waving the apology aside, Taduk wraps an arm around my shoulder as we walk away. Theres something off about Awdar, he Sends, his brow furrowed in thought. Though presenting the symptoms of withdrawal, his blood still shows trace amounts of the drug flowing within. Addicted though he might be, his reaction is too extreme for someone in his condition, and I found no physiological explanation for his sudden malady.

I have a theory, I Send. Briefly outlining the information Ive pieced together regarding Spectres and how theyre created, I keep my half-baked conclusions to myself until Taduks had time to go over the facts. ... so its possible the sudden onset of his symptoms was brought about intentionally to stimulate the birth of a new Spectre.

Rubbing his eyes with his free hand, Taduk rewards my prudence with a helpful insight. You said there were no Spectres around before hand, yes? Then who or what directed Awdars sudden breakdown and suffering?

Thats one of the best things about Taduk. Even though he believes its the Father Himself pulling strings in the background, hes open-minded enough to consider other possibilities. Try as I might, I have trouble accepting an all-powerful duo of Gods would be so petty and bored as to meddle in the lives of us insignificant mortals. Then again, for all I know, were all pieces on a cosmic board game of five-dimensional chess or something. After a moment of thought, I Send, My best guess is Awdar brought it on himself. With his drugs burned, he realized he couldnt hide any longer and was forced to come face to face with his past actions. His guilt and shame drove him to believe he deserved to suffer for his sins, and in doing so, he caused himself to suffer from imagined withdrawal.

...Plausible. Nodding in thought, Taduk murmurs through Sending, possibly without even knowing hes doing it. Belief is a powerful force, and Awdars familiarity with Healing would help with subconsciously affecting his physical well-being. It explains why he had a fever, but no trouble breathing or inexplicable bruising, which is atypical, and why physical movement caused him no discomfort despite being wracked with pain. He only knew withdrawal would hurt, but not why it would hurt, so he manifested general throbbing pain rather than muscle-and-joint specific pain.

It was psychosomatic, I helpfully supply, having found the word in a dusty old book among his collection. A condition or ailment caused or made worse by a mental factor, such as stress or depression.

It bears looking into, though how one might combat an illness of the mind is beyond my ken. Slumping his shoulders, Taduk looks more tired and defeated than Ive ever seen him, his smile mocking and filled with self-loathing. In my hubris, I once believed I could Heal any malady short of death, but now I see I was but a frog in a well.Updated from novelbIn.(c)om

Hugging him a little tighter as we walk arm in arm, I Send, The mind is a complicated thing and the world has yet to unlock its mysteries. You can hardly blame yourself for not understanding something no one else does. Besides, how are you supposed to know things arent as they seem if you cant perceive Spectres?

True, true. Tilting his head, he Sends, Hmm... The Defiled, they can see these Spectres, yes?

Positive. Does this upset Lord Husband? Perhaps Mi-Mi can make up for it.

I dont know if its our time spent apart, the alcohol she drank, or my massage turning Mila into a horn dog, but I love this. And what did you have in mind?

...Pervert. Puffing her cheeks in defeat, Mila changes the subject. Why do you keep glancing at her? Am I not enough to hold your attention? Or perhaps its Yan youre so enamoured by. Counting down the seconds until you two can abscond to your premarital bed of sin?

My sweet, jealous, beloved Mila. Finding no more knots on her upper back, I drop to my knees and start work on her lower back, receiving a low grunt of pleasure for my dedicated efforts. Can you not? Im only waiting for Luo-Luo to finish speaking so I can talk to her about sourcing armour and weapons for my retinue.

Hmph. Resting her head on my shoulder, Mila is so utterly relaxed its almost comical, yet her face still maintains her customary frown. Why would you ask Luo-Luo for something like this? Is she a blacksmith? No, she is not.

Shes not a blacksmith, but she is a merchant, so unless you and your papa can craft a few hundred steel spears and breastplates before I head back out on patrol...

Milas dismissive snort draws everyones attention, but she remains blissfully unaware because her eyes are closed, thoroughly enjoying the massage. As if I would waste my time making mundane weapons. Listen carefully beloved: mundane work is for mundane blacksmiths, understood?

Yes beloved, but this doesnt

Even with everyone busy meeting quotas, if I were to offer even the most basic Spiritual Weapon in trade, I could gather a thousand sets of armour and weapons within the week. Opening her eyes, Mila smiles and blinks slowly to accentuate her point. So why. Would you. Ask Luo-Luo. Instead of. Myself?

With Mila already so relaxed, theres no point continuing the massage, so I pull her into my lap and she happily snuggles into my embrace. My most humble and sincere apologies, my talented and intelligent beloved. I should have known better and gone to you first. Maybe she can help with my other issues. Would you happen to know how I request reinforcements? Do I put up a poster or something?

Stoooo-pid. If you want trash reinforcements, then talk to Yuzhen. If you want stronger ones, then maybe ask Fung, Chu Tongzu, or better yet, Nian Zu. If you want elites, then swallow your pride and talk to Mama. With real Khishigs under your command, you will strike fear into the hearts of those worthless Defiled.

Fungs on the front lines and I dont know where his dad is, but Chu Tongzu should be in SuiHua... Tempting as it is, I doubt any Khishigs will want to join my retinue.

Oh beloved, perhaps I was wrong. You are not stupid, but brainless. You are not prideful, but simpleminded. Biting me on the chin for emphasis, Mila growls and Sends, Do you think no one wants to join your retinue? You are the Number One Talent in the Empire, but to our dismay, you represent the Bekhai with no Bekhai under your command. Shameful is what it is, and you are shameless for allowing it. Releasing her toothy hold, she kisses it better before continuing. You have stood on your own for long enough, and why you refuse to ask for help, I do not know, but it is high time you lowered your head and asked your people to fight at your side.

But... after Sanshu, all of the Khishigs left my retinue when you did, and more recently, I figured no one would want to join because of the whole... Almost exiled thing.

Idiot. Do you remember how you gathered the people for your first retinue?

...Grand-Mentor made me fiscally responsible for them.

No, you idiot! Well, yes, but that was not all. You asked them to join you and fight at your side. Did you ever ask any of the Bekhai?

...No. Shit, was it that easy?

So why not try?

...Will you join my retinue, beloved?

The irony lost on Mila, my query earns me an elbow to the ribs. Absolutely not. Stop asking. I will not fight in your shadow and beneath your command, for I will rise to glory on my own. And I want Song back when I do. Who knows what perverted thoughts you had while out on patrol, with poor, defenseless Song there to tempt you. It cant have been easy on either of you, so its best if she fought at my side...

Laughing beneath my breath, I cuddle with Mila and listen to her scolding with a smile stretched across my face, wholly contented to be back with my loved ones again. With the war looming over our heads, who knows how many more peaceful days we have ahead, for the future looks grim and dark indeed. I have plenty of room to grow and much to learn, but even with a surplus of Heavenly Energy and the ability to send the Defiled fleeing by Devouring Spectres, I cannot imagine a future in which the Empire emerges victorious.

Theres only so much I can do on my own, so unless I can discover a mundane weapon of mass destruction, its only a matter of time before the Defiled get their shit together and push through to Central, and when it finally happens, Ill do whatever it takes to ensure my family emerges whole and unharmed.

Even if I have to sacrifice the rest of the Empire to do it.

Chapter Meme

- End of Volume 23 -