Chapter 692

Chapter 692

After days of profound study and inspection, I have arrived at one irrefutable conclusion.

Panda bears are the derpiest of all bears. Full stop.

Black bears like Banjo and Baloo can be a little silly at times, but theyre a little too lithe and graceful to achieve max derpiness, while bigger bears like brown bears and grizzly bears are just a tad too ferocious for my tastes. Moon bears just look funny with their weird, dyed haircuts, while polar bears have a sleek, slender figure that lends gravitas to even the silliest of antics. Then there are the bear-adjacent animals, like red pandas and binturongs, with one being a bear-cat, and the other a bear-cat-weasel mix, while Princess is clearly a weasel-bear, with emphasis on the bear. While red pandas in particular come close to matching big Panda energy, theres just something so endearing about watching a chonker of a panda munch away at a turnip while sitting slouched like a lazy slob.

The Abbots panda is named Tai Shan, and I love him so very much. Not only does he like to grab his feet and roll around, hes also got a cute little belly and the chubbiest cheeks Ive ever seen on any creature besides a rabbit or chipmunk. Eyes half-closed in sheer relaxation, Tai-Tai is just chilling next to the Abbot and having a grand old time, holding his giant turnip in two paws and crunching in rhythmic contentment. I envy how much joy he can derive from something so simple, like chomping on a root someone just pulled out of the ground. That being said, his evident satisfaction doesnt stop him from turning his gaze to me every so often, checking if I have anything better to treat him with. Much as I would love to share, Lin-Lin and Kukku havent come back with my meal yet, as they probably got sidetracked along the way. I dont mind though, as this gives me time to appreciate Tai-Tais big chonk energy in private, or at least as private as can be while closed off in a room with the sleeping Abbot and his four human guardians.

That being said, my days spent studying this derpiest of floofs were not wasted, as I had a purpose all along that had nothing to do with my overbearing love of all things furry. In my past life, my dog always went crazy for food, so the hardest part of meal time was making sure he never ate too much so he wouldnt get fat. However, since transmigrating to this world, I dont think Ive ever seen another animal that was actually fat aside from those few days when Roc ate so much he couldnt fly. I assumed he lost the weight after hopping around all the time, but seeing how I never weighed him and that the difference was probably a matter of grams, its possible he just adapted to fly with the added bulk. I mean, I like to joke about Mafu being fat, but most of it is muscle, and while there are plenty of huge animals, theyre all big in a strong, husky, muscular way, as opposed to just plain obese. So why get buff?

My best guess is that it all has something to do with the fact that almost all animals instinctively bulk up in preparation of refining their physical bodies into a Spiritual Heart. Which when you think about it, is kinda strange. Theres really no advantage for animals like Mama Bun, Guai-Guai, and Kukku to bulk up, and yet bulk they do. Mama Bun is twice the size of her full-grown bun-buns, while Kukku is ten to twenty times larger than your average silky chicken. As for Guai-Guai, hes what I would consider average sized for a red-panda from my past life, meaning hes probably on the smaller side in these here parts, where everyone and everything is super-sized. However, before he became the Ancestral Beast Guan Suo, Ping-Pings memories showed that he was a real chonker of a red panda, which just doesnt make any sense. All three are prey animals, and being bigger only makes them easier to spot and a more tempting target. Its not like Mama Buns bulk makes her any better at fending off or hiding from predators, but it does mean she needs to eat more than her regular sized counterparts out in the wild. More risk with no reward does not seem like the right move to make, but I must be overlooking something because most if not all animals adhere to the rule of bigger is better.

Which brings me full-circle to a question Ive asked many times before, and will continue to ask until my curiosity is sated: why?

With my mind caught up in the moment, I leave Tai Shan to his meal and retreat to my Natal Palace, where the curtains part on my limited mental capacity as Buddy greets me with glee and exuberance. Hugs and kisses are great and all, but I should figure out a way to make treats for him to eat, but thats a matter for another time. Cuddling him as I settle into my office chair, I boot up journal.txt to go over my complicated Martial Path for the umpteenth time.

I know, I know, the Abbot told me to stop second guessing my own decisions and trust myself, but the problem is, my gut tells me Im still missing one vital piece of information, or maybe more than one. Core Creation, Aura Condensation, Natal Palace Formation, and Domain Development, these are the milestones I myself have already achieved, but where does Spiritual Heart Refinement come in? Yea, Ive technically refined my physical body using the baths Taduk, Taiyi ZhuShen, and Li TieGuai arranged for me, but I just know its not enough because I am clearly not in possession of a Spiritual Heart. Maybe Im trying to overachieve and looking down on false Divinity, but I cant just let this go. If Im going to do this, then I want to do it right, which is not to say I mean to go straight to full-on godhood. I just feel like this is the right path for me, to figure out what Im missing before proceeding from here.

Shatter the Void, the Abbot says, like its that easy. Just shatter it bro. What are you waiting for? Its not that hard man.

Okay, so I might be paraphrasing here, but I captured the general gist of his tone well enough. He expects me just to take the next step, as if I already know what to do, but lets be honest here. I have never, in this life and quite possibly the last, ever known what the fuck I was doing at any given moment in time. Ive just been stumbling my way down the Martial Path and somehow accidentally succeeding all along, and while it might look like Im some brilliant genius from an outside perspective, we all know how tricky perspectives can be. Aside from watching Tai-Tai eat and play, Ive spent the last few days going over all my notes and reflecting on my own personal Path, and as far as I can tell, I have no idea what Im doing. Core Creation just sorta happened, and I barely even remember the process, to the point where Im not even sure if I already had a Core when I woke up in this body. I mean, it would explain a lot, like how I managed to survive in the slave mines where so many older, stronger, healthier slaves died, but I have no idea if I Created my Core the good old fashioned way, or if I had help from Spectres I didnt know existed just yet.

That being said, I dont think it matters. A Core is a Core, regardless of how its Created, so Ive been more than happy to write that part off, but things only get more complicated from there.

Core Creation is not the only milestone where Im not certain if I achieved success with my own merits or possibly had help from the spooky, scary whisper ghosts. I Condensed my Aura in the midst of battle against Laughing Dragon, but I didnt really figure out how to use it until taking part in the Purge. Ive tried to forget so much about those dark days, but I cannot forget how I contemplated suicide by Shrike in the face of more pain and suffering than I could previously imagine. It wasnt just the torture and bloodshed, which I more or less expected after seeing the harsh measures Magistrate Tong used to deal with a seventeen year old boy, and hes one of the good guys. No, what really caught me off guard was the sheer indifference to death and suffering demonstrated by so many different individuals, from the fanatical Aspirants fulfilling what they believed to be their holy duty, to the plethora of Elites dispatched to ensure no innocents escape from their gruesome, agonizing end. The sheer apathy inundating the participants of the Purge was just too shocking for me to process, and I couldnt find a single person who sympathized with my thoughts, so when I failed to convince Han BoLao to take a step back, I almost lost myself to anger, grief, and misery.

And in doing so, I managed to harness the power of my Aura and share my pain and angst with the soldiers around me, an event I now believe was the first time I utilized Oration.

Later on, my continued conflict with Han BoLao proved that my Aura was not by any means standard either, as I had access to both Imperial and Defiled varieties. Its difficult to explain the difference, but the best I could come up with was that an offensive Imperial Aura feels like staring down a dangerous predator, while the Defiled counterpart is like unexpectedly coming across a psychopathic murderer covered in blood and guts. Both are scary, but at least you can somewhat understand the mindset of the first, with the latter is just too alien to really wrap your mind around. There is no logic to the Defiled Aura, no rationalizing with the individual in possession of it, or at least thats what it feels like, because as soon as you come into contact with an Aura like that, then your only options are to kill or be killed.

Things are already ridiculously complicated even without getting into my innate Aura resistance, the discovery of Emotional, Beyblade, and Musical Auras, and how animals dont Condense their Auras until they become Divine Beasts, which only goes to show how little the outer provinces truly understand about this supposed early milestone. There is no doubt in my mind that Shen ZhenWu knows much more than he let on, and judging from how respectful the Imperial Scions are towards Luo-Luo, I suspect they know more too. Alas, since no one is talking, I have nothing to really go on besides the fact that Aura be wack, leaving me no choice but to abandon my efforts to understand Aura and forge onwards in ignorance.

My Natal Palace isnt normal either, and Im not just talking about recent events either, though I do have concerns regarding it. For starters, Ive theorized that my current Natal Palace is situated outside of my Core, and that in order to cure what ails me, I must stuff my replica of the village alongside the condo, lake, and waterpark I created on a whim into my Core. This would understandably mean Id have to shave off large portions of my Natal Palace, an undertaking I am justifiably loath to do since Shen ZhenWu once made a vague comment about how I seemed lessened after a round of impromptu mental renovations.

Thats not all either. Before I even knew what a Natal Palace was, Id fashioned myself a largely working replica of the village inside it, complete with flowing water, working weather, a day/night cycle, and even a brief period of fully autonomous robotic villagers. How was I able to cram so much into my Core at such a young age? Ive never been able to really measure how much Chi I have, but Ive also never really ever pushed my limits, not that I can remember, so its entirely possible my Core is larger than average. Sure, there have been times where Ive felt like I was running low on Chi, but I dont think Ive ever hit rock bottom before, and then I figured out how to Devour Heavenly Energy, which wouldve afforded me essentially limitless amounts of Chi. Thats a whole other kettle of fish however, and I have no idea where to even begin with that, so Ive pretty much chalked up my Devouring to a miracle and will be moving on from there.

I hate not knowing so much, but theres no point agonizing over it since I have nothing to go on.

After Natal Palace Formation comes Domain Development, which is where things start to get really weird. Grandpa Du claimed that Aura is a metaphysical expression of emotion, while Domain is an extension of Aura in that it is a metaphysical expression of authority bestowed by Heaven, meaning within ones Domain, their Chi would remain Chi instead of reverting back to Heavenly Energy.

This so-called authority is supposedly granted by the Heavens or the Mother Above or whatever, but my experience was atypical in that I rejected the Heavens and seized authority for myself. Then, I did the same thing during the withdrawal from Castle JiangHu, except at the time, my Core was still shattered and I didnt seize authority for myself, but rather I granted it to Rustram instead. Now, he has his own Domain and wields it with ease, but I havent been able to ask him about it. Does he still draw his authority from my rejection of the Heavens, or was he granted authority through his own merits after the fact? Also, what is this authority and what does it entail? I already know Chi is simply Heavenly Energy bound by emotion, and more recently I realized that said emotion was actually slivers of soul, so this means that in order to use External Chi, we Martial Warriors are literally expending our souls. Luckily, the soul is not a finite resource and is actually rather easily replenished, but this begs the question of why the Abbot is even dying. Is it because he himself doesnt want to live and is inadvertently using Heavenly Energy to fulfill his wish? It cant be that simple, because if that were the case, Id be dead a thousand times over.

Theres more to manipulating Heavenly Energy than Visualization, Intent, and Emotion, or perhaps just less. The Abbots advice led me to believe that all this can simply be broken down into Will, as in you control Heavenly Energy by Willing it into action, but theres no way things can be that easy. If that were the case, the world would be in chaos as Martial Warriors manifest their hearts desires. Yes, Will has a part in the control process, but what else is there?

The Abbot told me to trust myself, but I dont even understand what Ive been doing this whole time. Does this mean I should just dive in face-first without looking back? Somehow, I dont think thats what he meant, but he might not have known just how stupid I really am. I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I put on a pretty damn convincing show of competence, but only because I have the memories from my past life. Without those, Im nothing and no one, an idiot dumber than Baledagh because at least he understood how to use Chi and progress along the Martial Path.

Having gotten this far, I decide that the best place to start is not at the beginning, which leaves me with too many unanswered questions, but towards the end, or rather the last place where I remember actually making progress. In order to do this, we have to go pretty far back, to just before I Shattered my Core in battle against Gen Shi. Back then, whilst steeping in a tub of cooling water upon a soon to be battlefield, I came to an important decision I only recently understood was pivotal to my development. For so many years, I was lost and without control, wholly vulnerable to the whims of Heavenly Energy and the world around me. I hated that, and I wanted to take back control, to find Balance without having to struggle against the torrent of serenity and surrender. I was done with all the theological bullshit, done with the Mother and Father both.

Forget good and evil, there is only creation and destruction with no morality to muddy the waters. Heavenly Energy is an enigmatic force of nature, but people have been taking advantage of nature since the dawn of humanity. Whether it be working with fire or harnessing the wind, taming a horse or cracking the atom, humans have always bent nature to their will, so I will do the same. Instead of treating it like an ineffable power, I will uncover its secrets and use it to my benefit and the benefit of humanity. Energy is energy, regardless if its electric, kinetic, potential, Heavenly, or otherwise. The only difference is how to use it, but the first step to using energy, is to control it.

There is no struggle or surrender, and I do not go with the flow or resist.

I simply contain and control whilst enduring the torrent rushing into my overflowing Core.

I am the dam which stops the river, and I am the wall which blocks the wind.

I am the forge which contains the flame, and I am the drill which pierces the mountain.

Water, Air, Fire, and Earth, these are the four basic elements that make up the world as we know it. Taking in all that the world has to offer, I make it my own, yet even this is still not enough. I am a product of the world, one forged by the four elements, but I am also more than that. I am human, and I have a soul, which means in order to progress along my Path, I must offer a part of myself to it, and I know exactly what to offer. Peace blazes into existence within my consciousness alongside Tranquility, my sword and shield which I both hate and love, emotions condensed through Aura directed inward, and I still have more to offer. Unity is required as well, not just the weapon itself, but the concept itself to balance power and morality. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, so no matter how powerful I become, I must always remember to weigh my own desires against the needs of the many.

Which really, is just good advice for life overall. Dont be a selfish prick. How difficult is that? Sad to think so many people cant even do this much...

One with the Sword and One with the Self, I move on with uncharacteristic confidence, as I just know I am on the right track. One with the World means to borrow authority from the Heavens, but I make my own authority. My Core is more than just a storage tank for Chi and my Natal Palace, for it is also my Domain, which I deploy about me with nary a second thought. Almost immediately catching my error, I draw my Domain inwards just like I directed my Aura, compressing it until my Domain just barely extends past my skin, but something is still missing. Envisioning Unity appearing within my hands, my Domain warps into the shape of the weapon as it appears before me exactly as I remember, not just in my minds eye, but in the real world as well. This is a weapon forged not from blood and bone like Peace and Tranquility, but from pure, untouched Energy of the Heavens itself, an extension of my Domain and my very soul itself. How is this possible? I have some inkling of the science behind it, that Im not creating matter, but rather transforming it from one medium to another, though the specifics are above and beyond my meagre understanding. This was not my initial goal however, merely a much needed pit stop along the way. Unity has become more than a weapon, it is also the symbol of my authority in a way that not even I truly comprehend, and by drawing upon its familiar presence alongside Peace and Tranquility, I have finally finished all my preparations needed to move forward and take the next step.

Merely a step and not quite a milestone just yet, but a pivotal step nonetheless.

The Energy of the Heavens continues to flow through me, but regardless of the atypical means through which I acquire it, any Heavenly Energy that enters my Core is lessened and becomes Chi. Though the Abbot would call this a distinction without a difference, I know they are not exactly one and the same. While I technically utilized Heavenly Energy to reforge Unity, this was easily done because the weapon is a part of me and the Heavens recognizes it as such. I wasnt making something out of nothing so much as restoring a missing part of myself, so the Energy of the Heavens was more than happy to oblige, much like how regular people can regrow teeth. What I intend to do next is entirely different, as I will be changing myself in a way that is... not unnatural, but is most certainly in defiance of Heavens plans.

Thus, the Heavens will not care to help me and mere Chi is not enough to fulfill my Will, but fortunately, I have a sizable cache of usable Heavenly Energy already sitting inside my Core.

Still focusing inwards with my Aura and Domain, I direct the Cleansed Heavenly Energy out towards the outer surface of my Core while continuing to Devour Chi without end. Fixating on the sensation of warmth and acceptance, I Will it outwards and expend the Heavenly Energy to enlarge my Core, which will eventually allow my oversized Soul and Natal Palace to fit inside without expenditure or reduction. Pain blossoms and a single second stretches into eternity as I reforge my body, not with the goal of making it stronger or better per se, but rather to ensure my Core becomes synonymous with my physical form. Had I tried this before I refined my physique, I might well have died, but I endure without breaking because this is merely physical pain, fleeting and temporary.

The human body has bones, organs, blood vessels, and more, but I have always been able to sense Chi moving through my physical self. There is more to Chi manipulation than just the Core, an entire metaphysical system that we have yet to even define, but while a thousand changes take place in the blink of an eye in order to meld the physical and metaphysical together as one, the details are unimportant for now. What must be done, will be done, without need for me to micromanage every last detail of Refining my body into a Spiritual Heart, because the usable Heavenly Energy at my disposal knows exactly what to do, unlike the lessened Chi taken into my Core. By my authority, the Heavens bend to my Will and heed my demands, forging my body in the elements and my own experiences until it is capable of not just containing Heavenly Energy, but eventually also controlling it.

I am the Core, and the Core is me. Add another One to the list.

And when I open my eyes, I find myself seated in reality, with sword, shield, and glaive resting comfortably in my lap. Physically, nothing has changed, and yet I feel like a whole new person.

What did you just do?

The unfamiliar voice shakes me from my thoughts before I have time to examine my work, and only then do I sense the tension in the air. Standing before me are the four guardian monks, flanking an older, undernourished monk Jorani affectionately calls Monk Bones. Behind them, but in front of me, stands Lin-Lin with arms spread at her sides, shielding my defenceless self with her own body, a sight which warms my heart even as it breaks in the same moment. Talented though my sweet wifey might be, she is not a fighter and has no place here on the battlefield, which I suspect is what the Abbots secluded cave will soon become.

For the Enemy has come to the Brotherhood, and they mean to do battle, led by none other than the excommunicated Vyakhya himself. This is the Divinity who stood out to speak against the Abbot in Sinuji, and he eyes me with hostile curiosity, as does the hulking giant of a man standing beside him. Theres something familiar about this Herculean figure, a madness in his eyes Ive seen before, but I cant quite place who he is, and truth be told, I dont really care. Mostly because despite his formidable physical features, he is still dwarfed by the hairy behemoth towering beside him, a giant mammoth of a man in every sense of the word, complete with two massive tusks protruding out from under his upper lip. An Ancestral Beast if Ive ever seen one, and in his shadow lurks another, a lithe, feminine form that exudes mature yet frigid sexuality. Or maybe thats just me, but theres something about her narrow eyes and pointed features that draws the eye, a slim, willowy slip of a woman who somehow radiates more threat and peril than the behemoth she hides behind.

Last, but not least is a regal, imposing man, dressed in flowing silken clothes reminiscent of western fashion. A jewelled turban sits atop his raised head as he stands with hands folded behind his back and nose pointed towards the sky, pointedly declaring that everyone present was below his station and unworthy of notice. The man sells it well too, exuding danger by way of his existence, a deadly Warrior without peer despite the lack of a weapon on his body. Its clear hes the most troubling opponent here, a human Divinity whose prowess outmatches his peers, but even he seems to be wary of our little party, for despite his haughty demeanour, his eyes dart about the room to watch me and Bones while quietly searching for other threats.

Thankfully, Kukku, Tai-Tai, and the Abbot are nowhere in sight, but the downside is that we are handily outnumbered. I only Refined a Spiritual Heart and have yet to truly Shatter the Void, meaning I am but a mere half-step Divinity, a lofty existence standing close to the peak for sure, but no match for the formidable foes before me.

Sensing that he wasnt going to get an answer, Vyakhyas wrinkled, dismissive sneer speaks volumes to his mindset. Hes curious about what I just did, but hes a man with a mission who will not be swayed. He means to unmake the world with Anathema and in doing so, break the cycle of reincarnation and existence as we know it. Without these barriers in place to stop us, he believes all souls will be free to ascend to Nirvana, a lofty goal to be sure, but one twisted by pride and misconception. We have come for the boy, and the boy alone, he says, making his demands to Monk Bones and ignoring everyone else. Hand him over, and there will be no more bloodshed on this day.

Before Monk Bones can reply, my sweet wifey huffs and my heart freezes in place. Stupid, she declares, drawing the ire of no less than four Divinities and one muscled madman. You cant have him. Rainy is mine.

Oh my sweet, adorable wifey. I love and adore you so much, but you are just way out of your depth right now. Me too, but thats hardly surprising against a line-up like this.

God dammit. I was so close too. I almost had all the answers figured out, or all the relevant ones at least. If only I had more time, but I suppose my journey ends here, for this tribulation is far too calamitous for anyone to bear.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and resign myself to surrender, for I see no other way forward.

Chapter Meme