Chapter 815

Chapter 815

Today was a day for the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and the jarring shifts between weal and woe left this Sovereign exhausted in body, mind, and spirit.

The grievous blow to his confidence and foundation both would set him back by years at the least, but his ability to adhere to the Razors Edge throughout the ordeal was something to take pride it. In his darkest hour, he persevered and found his way out from under Falling Rains shared burden of despair and depression, an accomplishment which brought this Sovereign hope aplenty for the future regarding his recovery, but it was difficult to find any joy or satisfaction with ultimate victory so far away. The lingering effects of Falling Rains Orated attack, one which made it difficult to hold this Sovereigns head up high in the wake of so much misery and despair, especially in light of this latest reversal of fortunes.

Unable to believe what hed just witnessed with his own two eyes, he stood stunned in silent lack of comprehension as he went over the memory of events which ran contrary to almost everything he once believed true. Driven to the brink of desperation, the boy tapped into his innermost misery to use against this Sovereign. A most effective weapon which dealt a ruinous blow to his confidence and determination, but the boys despair was a double-edged sword and would be his unmaking. Though this Sovereign might well require decades to repair the damage done to his psyche, the boy drank too deeply of his own misery and all but threw himself off the Razors Edge. A moment was all it would take, a single instance of surrender and abandon in which Falling Rain succumbed to despair, and the Spectres would take root in his body, mind, and soul.

In order to minimize the effect of the boys ability to Devour and Cleanse Spectres with impunity, this Sovereign had long since restrained what Spectres he could, but there were limits to his abilities and nothing could be done regarding those clever enough to remain outside of his reach. Swarms of those malevolent spirits emerged from the deepest, darkest recesses of the Void, drawn here by the scent of the boys vulnerable state like sharks tracking a trail of blood from thousands of kilometres away. To mortal ears, their arrival was silent as the grave, but oh how they howled as they manifested in reality, covering the skies and sands in a cacophony of fervent contempt and honeyed lies urging their prey to give in. Hardly necessary in this Sovereigns eyes, for the boys misery was so complete he could hardly imagine a pit any deeper, a chain more binding, or a weight more ponderous than that which he only just experienced through Oration.

The boy would surrender, of this there could be no doubt, or at least so this Sovereign wholeheartedly believed right up until the swarm of Spectres were swallowed whole by the boys Domain, consumed in an instant without warning or hesitation. One moment, the air was so thick with itinerant souls that their very presence darkened the world, sapping the colour and vibrance right out of reality as they readied to violate Natural Law and give birth to a malevolent existence that straddled the border between reality and the Void. Then the next moment, the Spectres were all gone, Devoured so quickly it was as if they never existed in the first place, mere figments of this Sovereigns imagination that disappeared in the blink of an eye. This was a marked departure from the boys previous accomplishments, because while he was capable of Devouring Spectres with remarkable haste, it was never so immediate and without delay. There was always a transitionary period, a drawing of energy from one plane to the next, like a man drinking whilst submersed in water, yet this was akin to instant annihilation of matter, with the Spectres present in one moment and gone in the next without even the ability to struggle.

Then the boy sighed again and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, Good dog. Lifting his head, Falling Rain proceeded to offer a sheepish smile while meeting this Sovereigns eyes and requesting he end his own life for the sake of convenience.

A surge of fear and fury both almost unmade him as his recently re-subdued Spectres bucked and heaved against their restraints, chains of unyielding Will and steely determination which had come loose in the wake of the boys Orated attack. Within the landscape of his mind and Natal Palace, a throng of Spectres broke free and set forth to ravage his soul, but he held firm to the Razors Edge and used logic and fortitude to bind them once more. To think, an off-hand comment could shake this Sovereigns foundation so easily, the damage was far more pervasive than he initially thought, a realization which only served to further fuel this Sovereigns rage and destabilization. With proper focus and attention, this fresh inner conflict would be settled in a matter of seconds, yet this Sovereign could not afford any distraction, so he stood firm and held his tongue as he did battle with the demons of his heart while keeping close eye on his foe.

Thankfully, the boy said nothing as he slowly sat up, with his rabbit still cradled in his single, unbroken arm no less, an impressive feat not solely due to the nature of his injuries, but also the considerable weight of depression dragging him down. Troubled though the boys mind and heart might be, none of it showed in his demeanour, so neutral and unflappable despite the tumultuous exchange which just took place. His expression appeared calm at first glance, but further study revealed it as a distant, glassy-eyed expression that belied the unspeakable pain and incomparable misery he surely must feel. A look which belonged more on a man suffering from mild fatigue or mindless boredom, one entirely out of place on this battered child who only just demanded this Sovereigns death whilst embroiled in a bitter battle where neither one of them held the upper hand. There Falling Rain sat beneath the hot desert sun, drinking in his surroundings as if seeing them for the first time, yet this Sovereign suspected that the boy saw nothing at all and had instead retreated inwards to the Void.

Where he no doubt could see this Sovereigns struggle, if he knew well enough what to look for. Difficult to say really, for there were times when Falling Rains actions made it appear as if he held all of Heavens secrets in hand, and others when he blundered about and made mistakes even a child would know to avoid. Take this very moment for example, because this Sovereign was at a loss on how to explain it, for the logic seemed circular at best. Did Falling Rain withdraw to the Void because he sensed this Sovereigns inner struggle? How else would he know he was safe here to lower his defenses in reality? Yet how would he know he was safe without first lowering those defenses to check on this Sovereigns plight in the Void? Only there was no hesitation from the boy at all, his body left helpless as a newborn babe while sitting a hundred metres away from his foe, a distance this Sovereign could cross in an instant if he were not embroiled in bitter battle with his teetering emotional state of mind.This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com

The sheer audacity set this Sovereigns blood to flowing in reverse, and this burst of emotion set him back in his battle against the Spectres by a fair margin. His inner struggle rose to heights never before seen as the boy set to tending his injuries, wounds of body, mind, and soul which this Sovereign had paid dearly to inflict. Broken bones shifted about the boys shattered flesh, yet Falling Rain didnt so much as grimace as he stared off into nothingness, his eyes turned towards this Sovereigns general direction yet his mind somewhere else entirely. The corners of his lips quirked into a smile of all things, somehow amused by the agonizing sensation of regrown muscle and reconnected nerves, which he followed up by planting a kiss on his rabbits head, one that lasted long enough to discomfort this Sovereign even more than the boys ability to ignore physical pain. Nuzzling his pet close, he closed his eyes and sighed a third time, not in sorrow but with relief, as if this battle was already behind him and his victory all but assured, but nothing could be further from the truth. The Hare and Rabbit Divinities were still battling Gen and Goujian, though this Sovereigns pawns had taken considerable damage in his distraction. As for other possible rescuers, there were none available, for the Old Wolf and his allies were all stuck in Shi Bei, working frantically to keep the Transcendent Divinities from bringing Heavens Wrath down upon them all. If that was the case, why would the boy be so at ease, so relaxed and relieved when the battle was not yet done?

The answer arrived almost unbidden in a moment of clarity, and this Sovereign finally put the pieces together as he unravelled the significance of the boys recent actions.

An emotion unexpressed would remain rooted in body, mind, and soul. A simple truth this Sovereign had uncovered so long ago, but one Falling Rain had only just discovered. All his life, this wretched child had gone through life burdened by the unfathomable weight of despair, a monumental mountain of emotion which he dragged along behind him. This was his pain and grief, his sorrow and anguish, his fear and hatred, all this and more which he kept close and hidden away for reasons unknown. Where others would have long since either succumbed to emotion or severed these burdens away, Falling Rain clung to his misery like a child clutches a favoured blanket, steeping himself in gloom and melancholy until he grew numb to it all. Why, only the boy could say, but after using those repressed emotions as a weapon and confronting them in full, the boy had finally found the strength to face his misery head on, and in doing so, had freed himself from the burdens hed carried for so long.

Fortune found in disaster, Balance through Extreme Imbalance, and now this Sovereign might soon face Falling Rain at his strongest, a prospect which shook him to his very core.

For three, long seconds, the boy sat in the sands with eyes closed and face pressed into his rabbits fur, and when he finally drew back for a deep breath, his limbs were whole and unbroken once again. His amber eyes focused and fixated upon this Sovereign, and though there was no confidence or arrogance to be found, there was conviction and determination aplenty. The boy did not know if he could win, but he set it as his goal regardless, and this Sovereign could almost respect him for his steadfast persistence if not for the fact that it enraged him so. Were he not already overwrought with emotion and unable to act, he would have smashed the boy into a meat paste before this mental transformation completed. Not just to satisfy this Sovereigns rage, but also because he felt threatened by the boys terrifying potential, an admission which robbed him of courage and lent strength to the Spectres. The back-and-forth exchange played out within the landscape of this Sovereigns mind and soul, with Spectres breaking free in his distraction even as he sought to bind others once more, for he could not afford to lose these Spectres and empower his foe even more. The boy had feasted on stray Spectres enough to Heal his body, mind, and soul in full, for his Elemental Spirit was capable of breaking down those itinerant shards of base emotion and Cleansing them into the very stuff of souls. Pristine and untainted Energy of the Heavens laced with the essence of life and existence both as well as the agency to enter the cycle of reincarnation, or at least, thats what this Sovereign believed souls to be, insofar as his limited knowledge and perspective was capable of comprehending.

With this power in the palm of his hands, it came as no surprise when Falling Rain shot back to his feet, as hale and healthy as ever, but then he did the unthinkable and placed his rabbit aside. Not onto the sand at his feet, but rather upon empty air at his side, and this Sovereign choked on his own spittle when the rabbit remained suspended where the boy left it. No, not suspended in air, but supported upon an invisible pane of Materialized Domain, where it sat back on its haunches and huffed in muted displeasure over the lack of physical comfort. Offering the aggrieved beast a conciliatory pat on the head, Falling Rain waved his hand and moved the pane of Materialized Domain and rabbit behind him before taking up sword and shield in hand, leaving his glaive poised between him and the rabbit as if ready to defend it to the death. Alrighty then, the boy declared, drawing out the words as he flourishing his weapons before advancing upon this Sovereign, moving neither quickly nor slowly but with deadly intent and indefatigable purpose. Round Two, he continued, his presence multiplying with every step as he drew upon the Energy of the Heavens to Materialize even more of his Domain and empower him in battle. Fight!

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Catharsis is one hell of a drug.

In JiangHu, I learned a lesson that I went on to overlook, because it hardly seemed all that important in light of everything else. I learned why people cry, and its to shed emotion, which was why I created a storm over the battlefield. I couldnt cry, was too scared, too afraid, too unwilling to face my own inner turmoil, so instead, I gave it all over to the storm clouds so that they could cry for me. A band-aid on a broken bone, thats essentially what that was, and then I pretended like I was all better and didnt hurt anymore. It worked too, for a time, but suppressed emotions always find their way back to the surface in one way or another, no matter how hard you might try to ignore them.

And boy, did I try. I blocked out my entire childhood to protect myself from my trauma, but even then, my little brother made his way back to front and centre of my mind. The Baledagh I pretended to be was not my actual brother, merely a manifestation created to help me manage in my time of need. Who better to save me than the little brother who looked out for me for the entirety of my childhood? The guilt I felt from taking his body away, the persistent notion that I should give up this life for him, the forlorn hope of finding some way to share everything I had with him, its all more fucked up than I care to think about, but at least now it makes sense. Well, about as much sense as any multiple personality can, so I suppose it would be more accurate to say I understand why Im so fucked in the head. My trust and abandonment issues, my inferiority complex, my extreme social anxiety, all of it can be traced back to my shitty childhood growing up in a Defiled tribe beyond the borders of the Empire.

What a relief.

It sounds weird to even think it, but knowing theres a reason for all my damage is just the best news ever, because now, its not all my fault. Im not broken because theres something wrong with me, Im broken because I never stood a chance from the start. No longer do I have to blame myself for everything, because now I can blame my parents instead, so fuck them and fuck the Heavens too for stacking the odds against me. Honestly, in light of everything I went through its a damned miracle I turned out even half as well-adjusted as I am.

A statement which wouldve left me in stitches just yesterday, but today, I know the truth, and the truth has set me free.

I am Rayne. I am Amigui. I am Falling Rain. These are my names, but I have many more. I was born Defiled, then sold as a slave, only to find my way back to the People who exiled my parents. From there, I was taken in and trained as a Warrior, dubbed a Hero, raised to Minister of Finance, and promoted to Legate of the Outer Provinces. I am a dutiful son of two adopted parents, spoiled brother of a doting sister, indulgent uncle to a niece and nephew, and hopeless husband who is head-over-heels in love with my four wives as well as a fifth woman who I hope to one day marry too. I am an adoring floof-father who aspires to add even more pets to his menagerie, an idealistic optimist who dreams of a better future, a pragmatist who accepts that a better tomorrow means more struggles today, a silly memester who wastes far too much time laughing at stupid jokes I remember from a past life, and a thoroughly damaged and broken young man who is understandably struggling with depression among many other things.

The dog from my previous life had his own soul, but in his love and affection, he gave me a portion of his soul to hold and to keep. In my despair, I latched onto that portion of soul, the one part of me that loved me unconditionally and without limit, and gave it life once more because I needed Buddy in my life, the same way Ping Ping gave new life to Guai Guai using a portion of Guan Suos soul. Theyre not the same soul, not really, more analogous to a child or even a clone of the original, but you could also argue that this is a brand-new soul as well, the same way splitting a worm into two gets you two living, breathing worms. The significance of Buddys revival never occurred to me before, but essentially, I created a new soul, a new eternal vessel that might one day enter the cycle of reincarnation to be reborn anew.

Not today though. Today, were skipping over reincarnation and crafting my doggo a new body to inhabit, because its high time the rest of the family met him too.

I know almost nothing of canine anatomy, but that doesnt matter, because Im not the one pulling all the strings. Buddy is, and hes not concerned by all the details, nor does he require them, because he understands what being a dog really means. Its not having four paws, or a wagging tail, working organs, or even big, brown eyes and floppy ears, nor is it anything about his shape or appearance. Those are merely the trappings of a dog, stuff that will come naturally because one can hardly be a dog without them, but theyre not what makes Buddy a dog in his eyes. No, the important part of being a dog is the love and affection, and he has all that and more to spare.

That is Buddys Dao, one which comes so naturally that I envy him for his simplicity.

The Heavens surge through him, enveloping him both here in the Void and before me in reality, a dazzling radiance without the harsh glare one would normally associate with so brilliant a light, but rather a soft glow which illuminates the world in warmth and love. The power of Creation made manifest, acting as a womb in reality to bring the four elements together and forge Buddys physical body anew, but this alone is not enough. As a creature of pure soul, Buddy requires more if he wants to be reborn in reality, and when he asks, I am more than happy to supply it. A thought is all it takes to send my Life Force over to fuel his rebirth, a gift given freely because his presence is synonymous with life itself in my mind, and my heart skips a beat as I watch it all unfold. Bones take shape even as the organs swell into existence, while flesh stretches out across the burgeoning framework. Skin and fur appear to obscure the details, and the rest takes shape in the blink of an eye, and I sense more than feel his Spiritual System take shape, one that is shockingly similar to mine. Twelve major passages gathered around the important organs, all of which are connected by an intricate network of minor, one-way passages that extend all throughout the body, with his Chi flowing through him in perfect, unobstructed harmony.

And in the blink of an eye, its all over and done with. There Buddy stands, a Spiritual Dog, if not a Divine one, but you wouldnt know it by just looking at him. His short, brown-and-black fur shimmers in the sunlight as his floppy ears and flappy jowls flutter in the wind, while he opens his big, puppy-dog eyes wide to take in his surroundings. Its all so new and exciting to him, new sights, new scents, new sensations all around, but then he spots me and that is all he can see. It begins without warning, starting at the tip of his tail and moving all the way to his front two feet in an instant, a full body wagging in concert with his joyous yips as he tippy taps his way over to my side, unable to decide if he wants to run in circles, stand still so I can pat him, or press his shoulder into my leg as if trying to merge with me once more.

Good boy, I croon, patting his head, back, chest, and cheeks as he shuffles and circles this way and that, all the while singing a happy chorus of yips and squeaks which give away just how happy he really is, especially once I bring Mama Bun over for a mutual sniff. Whos a good boy? You are! Yes, you are. Even Pong Pong expresses his joy over this unexpected development, though being the cool and calm elder that he is, he tries to pretend like he doesnt understand what the big deal is while remaining hidden in my hair.

Or maybe he actually doesnt understand what all the fuss is about, because he thinks Shattering the Void and forming a new body is as easy as turning a hand. Who knows.

What, Zhen Shi begins, thoroughly spoiling my joyous reunion with Buddy in reality, and I shoot him a dark look that goes ignored as he stares with mouth agape and finger pointed. Is that?

This? I ask, marvelling at how wonderful it is to feel truly happy once more, without the heavy burden of my oppressed guilt and misery weighing me down from within. This is my dog, Buddy. Isnt he cute?

How? Zhen Shi asks, ignoring my question to ask one of his own. Rude. Even though I already know the answer is yes, I still want to hear him say it. Tell me my dog is cute or Ill cut you, bitch. This soul it was hidden within yours? No, no, not at all possible, for souls are sacrosanct and inviolable, yet it must be possible for this Sovereign saw it all unfold with mine own two eyes. Ooh, a first-person pronoun, he must really be shook. The Void Shattered, a body Refined, and a Divinity birthed, yet how can one refine that which does not first exist?

Which came first? Chiming in for no real reason than to mess with his train of thought, I toss out an age-old adage on a whim. The chicken or the egg?

Rather than dismiss my words out of hand, Zhen Shi actually stops to think about it, which is surprising to say the least. The chicken or the egg? Running a hand over his bald head, he repeats the question over and over again, but Im just happy to finally understand why I hate bald people. Stupid custom, shaving a childs head to show theyre a child, as if you cant tell just by looking, but I suppose if you never cut your hair, then having long hair means youve survived a long time and are therefore more experienced and dangerous. Probably something my father Ankhbayar came up with, which is a stupid name by the way. First Joy. So girly. Besides, he clearly doesnt understand the significance of the name given how he treats his own children. Feeling an urge to pet my dog, I squat down to scritch his bum and give Mama Buns bum a scritching too, because I dont want her to feel jealous just because Buddys here. Not that she minds, because I think she loves Buddy just as much as I do, though not enough to hop down from her invisible raft and set foot upon the scorching sands.

Mental note: check Buddys paws to make sure he can take the temperatures. Sure, hes a Spiritual Beast, but hes still a dog, and Im pretty sure he doesnt know how to survive without me. Patting his head after another thorough scritching, I glance at Zhen Shi and find him still lost in the sauce and stuck on chickens and eggs, which is honestly not the worst thing in the world seeing how I could use the breather. Catching my eye, the befuddled monsters expression turns to one of hatred and envy, which I have to say is a first. No matter, he declares, only to appear before me with first raised to strike. The blow knocks the air out of my lungs and sends me crashing to the sands below, but once again, Pong Pong blocked enough of it to keep my inner organs from exploding. Once this Sovereign has you and the dog in hand, then I will slowly unravel all your secrets to discover the truth.

Another first-person pronoun? The first was kinda funny, but now Im a little worried, though I should probably have been worried all along. No matter though, because now that I have Buddy with me, I feel like I can take on the world, and Zhen Shi alone is not enough to stop me. Sic em boy! I shout, not even bothering to get up as I eagerly await the show, but while my foe glances at my dog to guard against him, he proceeds to do nothing else because there is nothing that needs to be done.

Turning to study my sweet doggo, I see Buddy with head tilted to one side and tongue hanging loosely in an adorable expression of innocent confusion, with none of the courage and bloodlust he displayed before. He has no idea what Im asking him to do, but hes just happy to be here. He is also really hungry and thirsty though, starving even, because he cant remember the last time he ate, but if theres no treats, then he but could also do with a nap if I dont feel like getting food. Another thing, hed love to go for that walkies as soon as possible, but he understands theres stuff I need to do beforehand, so hell just sit and wait, but I should hurry because itll be really, really fun. Thats everything Im getting from my sweet doggos emotions, reminding me of the fact that Buddy was never an attack dog, or even a guard dog. He was just a dog, a sweet, stupid, cuddly floof with exactly zero survival skills whatsoever.

If thats the case, why did I put so much effort into helping him be reborn? Dont get me wrong, Im glad hes here in the flesh and all, but like couldnt it have waited until after I dealt with Zhen Shi? Did I really just go to all that effort because Buddy wanted to go for a walk?

Maybe. Seems on point for my dog, who like me, is kind of a jerk now that I think about it.

Well fuck. What now?

Chapter Meme 1

Chapter Meme 2

Chapter Meme 3