Chapter 71

71 Chapter 71 ~ “Scared”

Cathain suddenly started to feel very scared and insecure.

What if she chooses someone else because of the past that he can’t remember?

What if she leaves him?

He doesn’t care about the past but she does.

There must have happened something terrible in the past for her to be like this. And the problem is, he can’t even remember it...

Cathain feels like the more he is trying to reach her, the farther she is getting away from him.

“Y-Your highness?”

Eleanora didn’t knew how to answer his question. She just stood still and felt his racing heartbeat.

One part of her still wanted to hug him back even if she didn’t wanted to.

.....

It’s already too late for them...

She could have considered if he hadn’t killed her, ignoring her words to investigate the death of her children’s.

His negligence towards her has cost the life of her and their children’s.

She doesn’t dare to fall for him again.

Eleanora felt pathetic again for not being able to push him, lose her temper at him.

Telling the brutal truth in the face of his.

How he ignored her, neglected her, gave his love to another woman which should have been hers.

In the end, She got killed by his own hands...

But it’s not the time yet, she needs him and his power to investigate the truth. Running away isn’t an option for her anymore.

She can’t hide forever...

When Jena will appear infront of him again, She will be thrown away by him in this life too.

‘Jena is the one he loves and the empress that he wanted in our past life. It will be the same in this life too.’

‘Don’t fall for it Eleanora, he doesn’t deserves it.’

“Your highness...”

Eleanora was about to deny when he intrupted her with his words.

“No- Don’t answer. It’s okay, Am sorry... Am sorry.”

Cathain released her from his grip and kept murmuring sorry... reassuring himself to believe his own thoughts, ignoring the truth.

His head was hanging down and he refused to make an eye contact with her.

He didn’t wanted to hear the answer anymore. It was like he deliberately choosed to believe the lies.

It’s better to stay in his own thoughts then hearing her refusing him.

He is scared that he might end up getting mad and lock her up if she says no to him.

Recalling all the crazy things he did just to get closer to her, he can’t deny the possibility to use force to cage her with him.

Which he doesn’t want.

So, Cathain choose to believe the lie.

‘Yeah, She was my empress and can only be my empress!’

He hurriedly turned away, leaving the dumbstruck Eleanora in the long corridor hall.

She could hear the steps of knights coming closer and closer. They have to leave now.

But her heart is in a mess. She doesn’t know anymore about what she wants.

Is the present three years with him is worth to believe the current him and forget the past tragic 12 years?

Eleanora sighed, The answer was clear in her mind.

...No, She can’t believe him.

She can forgive but not forget...

She turns around too and both of them walked in the opposite way.

Seems like two different paths really can’t become one.

When i loved you, you took me for granted...

When i let you go, you beg me to love you again...

Eleanora thought as she ride her own carriage, she needs to calm down for real.

She can’t do anything with this mentally of hers for now.

She have to calm down and plan for her future.

‘Take the knight test, be a official knight, stop the war, cherish the people i love now and...

Become the duchess!’

Emperor Valerian has given her time till she will turn 16 to break of their engagement.

So, she must find out the truth within that time and cancel the engagement.

Become a knight, help the people and rule over her territory as the Duchess of Dalton.

She might as well keep Ain with her as a knight.

As the time passed by, he have become a really good friend of hers. He is young but promising.

‘I miss you and our late night conversations, Ain.’

__

Cathain and Eleanora once again become awkward with each other.

They passed by each other like strangers and it was only Cathain, who looked back at her.

Just like how the past Eleanora kept following his shadow and stare at his back.

She didn’t dared to approch him thinking he might hate her even more if she does that.

Like how the present Cathain doesn’t dare to approach her in the same fear.

Cathain returned to their tent where Eleanora was already sleeping.

Because they had to prepare to go back in a hurry, they only bought a single tent for them as both of them had previously shared a room too.

Eleanora’s back was facing him and her shiny silver hair was spread all over the pillow.

He subconsciously started to play with her hair and kissed it with a dejected sad eyes.

It was killing him to stay away from her.

Everytime she passed by him, it broke his heart into pieces to control the urge to run towards her and hug her.

Asking her about what he did in the past that he couldn’t remember yet.

But he also feared her answer.

What if she turns away from him and never comes back after she tells the truth?

He rather kept believing her lies to keep her with him, then letting her go after telling the truth.

Cathain couldn’t stop his hands from moving and taking her into his arms gently to not wake her up.

Eleanora’s sleeping face came to his view and he smilled gently at her.

‘You are finally in my arms without any struggle, no attempt to push me away... But i don’t want it like this.

I know am being selfish but i can’t help it when it comes to you...

I just kept wanting for more and more. Just what should i do to keep you with me, My empress?’

Cathain’s eyelid’s started to feel heavy but he still couldn’t supress his fear about losing her.

He can’t help but think, What if she disappear again?

‘Again?’

As he was about to finally fall asleep, he felt sharp pain in his head. Like something was about to get into it.

.....

Soon, Cathain found his vision go white from blurred and then finally a scene appeared in his mind.