Chapter 73

73 Chapter 73 ~ “Substitute”

In the middle of the night, Eleanora sensed Cathain’s trembling body because he was hugging her to sleep.

His grip was becoming tighter around her body as he continued to frown in his dream.

‘Is he having another vision?’

Eleanora tried to move his hands away from her waist to weep his sweat but he held her more tightly.

“Am sorry... Am sorry... Ele.”

Eleanora frozed and stayed still in his grip. She doesn’t know why but every time Cathain address her as ‘Ele’, she recalls Ain.

‘No, they can’t be the same person. How can a crown prince like him disguise himself as a merchant just to teach me?’

Eleanora sighed and managed to place her palm over her head as she tried to calm him down.

She stroked his black hair untill he stopped frowning and sweating.

.....

Her chilly ice magic aura soon calmed down his trembling hot body and his breathing become stable again.

Cathain started to fall asleep and Eleanora felt sympathy for him.

It was true that she suffered a lot because of him, but he is also suffering a lot now.

Not remembering everything clearly... Bearing her hatred and pretense, where he knows she would just use him to discover the past as well cancel the engagement after that.

And the most cruel part is, his feelings won’t be returned back by her to him.

At least for now...

Struggling as he remembers the tragic past that he has no memory of... trying so hard to change.

Make her believe in him again where she doesn’t dare to trust his words even when she witnessed how changed he is compared to the past.

Cathain was pathetic to Eleanora. A poor soul which have to bear the sins that he never did.

Eleanora can’t even forget the past or embrace the new future.

If the past Cathain is someone who crushed her all hopes and dreams, then the current Cathain is someone who is luring her to dream again.

Eleanora closed her eyes, she can’t let him harm himself like this. She is no longer the 13-year-old innocent Eleanora that she was supposed to be.

Her 22-year-old heart has tainted this young soul with hatred and coldness.

The current 17-year-old Cathain is still pure and innocent, this is why he had to stay away from her.

Otherwise, She might unknowingly change the past and drag him into her darkness.

He is already having a hard time because of those past memories.

‘What would he do once he remembers everything clearly?

Or what does he want to do?’

This was something Eleanora wanted to ask him everytime they meet but couldn’t.

Finally she fall asleep too...

In the morning, they had to ride the carriage again to go back to the empire.

Eleanora couldn’t sleep well the previous night after she helped Cathain to sleep.

She kept remembering about the past till morning, so she fall asleep right after she got into the carriage.

The royal carriages stopped infront of the Dalton Duchy and Cathain got off from his carriage first to help Eleanora to get down.

But seeing no one coming out from the carriage, he politely knocked.

“Eleanora... We have reached.”

There was still no response, he knocked again before he opened the door to get in.

What he saw after opening the door was her leaning over the window with her eyes close. She was tired because of the long journey so she was in a deep sleep.

“Your Highness... should we call a maid for help?”

“Sush!”

Cathain gestured everyone to quite down as he get into the carriage and sat beside her after carefully closing the door.

Rather then intending to wake her up, he want to wait and watch her sleeping peaceful face.

Ain have seen her sleeping face quite a time, but it was the first time for Crown Prince Cathain see the sleeping face of his fiance.

It was slightly dark inside the carriage as the curtains was down and all he could hear was her peaceful breathing and his fast beating heart.

He carefully looked at her face and then his heart sank a little. The amount of time Ain had seen her face properly can’t even compare with the number of times Emperor or Crown prince Cathain has saw.

Even though they were married, but the past him never once took a proper glance at her face like he does now.

When they were in bed, all he could see was her white skin and his mind to calm down. Thinking of it, why did he always felt better when he was with her?

Cathain was lost in thought when he suddenly felt Eleanora’s body move and lay on his lap instead.

‘H-Huh?’

Cathain couldn’t breathe properly as she rested her head on his thigh and rubbed her face a little to feel more comfortable.

Cathain turned his eyes away with his hands wrapped around his red face. He gritted his teeth and groaned softly. He couldn’t believe he could feel hot all over his body just by this.

He felt his blood boiling as her breathe continued to fall on his skin. Sending a cold sensation which increased the heat in his body.

After taking some few deep breathe and managed to regin his compuser as he looked at the small figure resting on his lap peacefully without having the slightest idea what she caused him.

‘This is real tourture!’

The sun shone through the crevic of the small window, and the cold made her tremble slightly.

Eleanora’s lips parted a little as she let out a heavy breathe in annoyed.

Cathain smiled gently and started to stroke her hair as he continued to warm up her body with his mana.

As her body become warmer, Eleanora started to sleep comfortably again.

‘Am sorry for everything, Ele... either i remember or not but because if it you have suffered a lot.’

There was not a single vision of his where he found himself treating well like he does now, he didn’t saw her smiling either...

Cathain himself wanted to choke his older self to death in disgust and anger, not to mention the person who actually suffered all this.

It’s normal that Eleanora hated and loathes the current version of him.

Because he is totally different from the past one. Maybe she remembers the past one everytime she sees the current him.

‘Is there no way to make her forget that bastard and only remember the current me?

I don’t want her to remember or compare me with some other guys, even if it’s my past self.

Even if it’s you hatred, i want to be the one who will recieve all of yours emotions. Hatred comes from love and i don’t want you to love the past me.

I can accept your hatred and the fact that you might never love me again... but i can’t accept the fact when i see your blue eyes compare me with my past self.’

Because it makes him feel like a substitute for his past self.

But that doesn’t mean he can let her go and find her happiness with another man.

He will try his best to exceed her expectations about the type of man she likes.

There will be no one but only him, who would suit her and he will make sure to do it.

Eleanora can only choose the present Cathain, He won’t allow her to dwell in the past, holding the past him in her heart in the name of hatred.

‘I will save you in this life and chase you like you did to my past self. I will make you fall for me again.’

Finally, Eleanora felt like someone was stroking her hair and subconsciously smiled as she called him.

And the hands that was strocking her silver hair frozed.

“Ain... stop it, it’s ticklish.”