Chapter 82

82 Chapter 82 ~ “Letting Go”

‘W-What?’

Eleanora’s face was flustered because of embarrassment.

‘How can he say such words with this kind of calm tone, like he is telling me the time of the day?’

Seeing the embarrassed Eleanora, Cathain chuckled and loosened his grip on her waist.

“This young lady... What weird things are you thinking? Huhh?”

“If you say weird things then of course i will think weird things...”

“Young lady... I meant having you accompany me all day is better then eating three meals a day.”

“.......”

“Now say, who have unholy thoughts?”

.....

Eleanora was liptied. She can’t possibly admit that she really had unholy thoughts right?

“G-Go Away! I didn’t had any thoughts like that!”

Eleanora spoke as she pushed Ain and ran away from him.

Where, Cathain just stood still with his arm folded and watched Eleanora running away like a flushed little rabbit.

Cathain’s eyes narrowed as he placed his hand over his fast beating heart and then he looked at his hands which held Eleanora just now.

The hallway had still Eleanora’s lingering fragrance as well as on his hands. He moved his hands from his heart to towards his nose, to sniff her smell.

“Even if you don’t have... But i have unholy thoughts everytime i see you, My empress.”

Even if the Eleanora infront of him is only thirteen but the Eleanora in his mind is a adult, his wife and his empress.

Who waits for him in their bedroom with a shy face and looks away when he enters.

Her thin white nightgown and her open silver hair which shines more brightly under the faint moonlight in their dark bedroom.

Her blue eyes avoiding his red eyes because of embarrassment as he bites her trembling white shoulder and places a hickey to warn every guys that she is his.

Her little hands wrapping around his neck with tears filling her blue eyes as she looks at him.

His big hands stroking over her snow white body as he smells her milky scent spreading from her.

And then finally tasting her sweet pink lips, which tastes better then honey to Cathain.

Twirling his tongue with hers... making her out of breathe and panting hard under him.

Her soft lips looking more fuller and a little drenched because of him.

Then he will slowly took of her clothes and she will unbutton his shirt for him, placing her tiny hands over his beating heart and then slowly sliding it from there to till his lower abdomen muscles.

Her cold touch will give his hot burning body a thrilling pleasure that no matter how much he gets, it will never be enough for him.

Twirling her body around, her naked white back will face him and tremble as he showers it with his hot kisses.

Eleanora clenches the bed shit and tries to hide her moans but soon she gets defeated, letting out a soft low moan.

Grabbing her slender thin waist, Cathain makes her face him and takes her palm into his hands.

As soon as his hot lips touches her cold palm, she feels a shiver down her spine, warming up her whole body to an unknown new pleasure.

Cathain keeps kissing her hands till he reaches her neck and then kisses her in her chest, which makes her back arching into a beautiful curve.

From her chest, he keeps kissing her waist area to her flat stomach. Her tiny hands grabs his shoulder, digging her nails into his naked back.

Cathain’s red eyes looks up and meets her blue eyes full of faint tears.

Seeing her like this under him, Cathain felt a incredible warm and pleasure feeling in his heart which he never felt before.

He climbs over her and licks her tears as he kisses her face.

Eleanora pulls him more closer for another deep kiss and Cathain becomes lost into it.

Her soft lips moving with his hot lips which can never get enough of her kisses, her clumsy tongue moving with his and wrapping it around his tongue like a snake.

Her long fingers stroking his black hair and her another hand hugging his back tightly.

Their lips parted but a thin line of their saliva will keep them as one.

As he makes her ready for him and finally becomes one with her, she will fully cry out in pleasure under him and whisper slowly to his ears.

“I love you, Cain... My emperor.”

And then, Cathain will wake up as usual from his dreams.

How he wished that she could really hug him tightly like this for real one day.

Tell him that she loves him.

But he also knows he doesn’t deserves it from her, it’s a luxury for him to think that she might ever tell him this.

As long as she doesn’t pushes him away because of their past, as long as she just keeps being with him for her ulterior motives to solve the past... He can bear it even if she hates him, doesn’t loves him anymore.

Seeing the hatred in her eyes is better then seeing her emotionless, who have no reaction on no matter what he does.

Even if it’s not love... As long as she just stays with him can stop him from going crazy.

At first, he was only curious about the fiance everyone praises infront of him repeatedly.

He started to stalking her whenever he found the chance since he was only five years told.

His curiosity had turned into jealousy because the one he kept competing against, never once bothered to know about her secret competitor.

And he didn’t realised when that jealousy had crossed the love level to turn into obsession and possessiveness.

When he realized that she have romantic feelings for him, he was overwhelmed.

She has never once looked at him before, how can he let her be satisfy so easily?

He has tried to hard to get the recognition of everyone where she got that without even doing anything.

How can he let her be happy and get what she wanted so easily this time too?

Cathain ignored her, looking at her displeasure, he found pleasure. Finally she is feeling and getting the taste of what it felt like to be ignored.

But their ending wasn’t what he wanted. Cathain doesn’t know where it started to go wrong.

Both of them changed drastically. He lost his temper easily and Eleanora started to become more cold.

He doesn’t want to walk with the other woman but he founds himself walking with that woman.

He wants to run to Eleanora to save him, because she is the only one who can make him stay sane.

Embracing her takes his all worries and pains away.

The nausea and headache he feels all days goes away everytime he embrace her but her touch also makes him go crazy.

He felt like his heart and mind starts to clash against each other everytime she gets close.

So, Cathain never let Eleanora touch him... left after he finally felt okay to go on.

When he learnt about her pregnancy, he was the most happy but he doesn’t know why he couldn’t celebrate this happy news with her.

He felt like he forgot about this matter completely till Eleanora suddenly visited him one day and fall down the stairs.

She fall down because of him and he just watched her fall, laying down in a pool of her own blood.

Eleanora’s words make him suspicious for a moment but then he doesn’t know why he didn’t investigated it.

He wanted to visit her but was too guilty to visit her. He killed their own child.

He doesn’t even remember when he ordered Eleanora to move into the abandoned palace and how the mere palace maid become his mistress.

Cathain felt like he was being controlled, just like a pawn into a cheese game.

Moving as the player wanted him to move.

And then, Cathain finally found himself to kill the girl he loved by his own hands.

Not only the girl whom he fall in love at first sight but also the woman who was bearing his child in her stomach for four months.

It didn’t took him even four seconds to kill them where she kept their child alive and healthy for four months without anyone knowing about it.

Just how helpless and scared she was to lose their third child that she kept this big news hidden to keep the baby safe?

Just how heartbroken she was when he declared that he has gotten another woman pregnant infront of her?

Just where did things went so wrong and they turned out like this?

One by one, Cathain got his every answers which was like a slap in his face to remind of his stupidity and foolishness.

.....

No matter how many times he regretted, she can never came back... their child won’t come back.

Can they?

The amount of poison increased in his food and he kept taking it even after knowing about it.

He knew he was being controlled and who was doing it... but he didn’t took any action.

What if he catches them now and punishes them?

Will Eleanora and their child will be back to him?

No, They won’t.

So, he will just go to them.

They want the empire? They can take it. He doesn’t cares about it anymore.

Everynight when Cathain enters his bedroom and sees the dead Eleanora on his bed, his heart aches so badly that he wants to take it out.

He wants to yell out loud and cry, but he can’t do that. She sure wouldn’t want to hear him saying that he loves her after killing her with his own hands.

He silently lays down beside her and activates his magic powers into her body to keep it warm.

His condition was becoming more weak because of the poisoning and dark magic controlling his mind but he doesn’t care about it anymore.

As long as he can built back the duchy back for her and keep watching her sleeping peacefully with their child in her stomach.

He doesn’t mind dying beside her while holding her tightly, so that in their next life, he won’t make the same mistakes.

There must be a afterlife or next life, right?

As soon as Cathain activated his magic, the thick cut mark on Eleanora’s neck fades away and becomes smooth like before.

And then, he finally got the chance to sacrifice himself to make her alive again.

Even if the younger him can’t remember everything like how Alexander and Liana will, but he can still help the younger Cathain by appearing in his dreams and showing him visions of his tragic ending with Eleanora.

He is sure that the younger him would be smart enough to understand the situation and moreover, he had feelings for Eleanora since he was a child.

So, as long as he triggers the younger Cathain’s emotions for Eleanora and shows up in his dreams to warn him to not make the same mistakes as him, he can change the future.

Even if it’s not him, who will be with Eleanora in the future but as long as she knows that he always had her in his heart and never wanted to harm her willingly, he will be satisfied.

He watched her speaking her mind, doing what she likes, how it would be if she didn’t loved him back then... what it would be if he let go of his jealousy and pride, hold her hands to walk the path with her.

He watched the younger him confessing to her and bluntly get rejected by her repeatedly... How hard she is trying to run away and how hard the younger him is trying to chase her.

He is now relieved. Even if he isn’t happy because he isn’t the one beside her, but at least the past tragedy won’t happen again now.

Sometimes loving means to let go...

...As long as she is happy. He doesn’t mind walking the rest of his path alone.