Chapter 130 - 130 [Bonus chapter]"Don’t Deserve To Love"

130 [Bonus chapter]”Don’t Deserve To Love”

Eleanora gritted her teeth as she heard Cathain’s words and let out a sneer.

“Heh... You say am yours? Why, Your Majesty?”

Eleanora questioned Cathain as she turned to face him with a pained face.

“Why do you feel like that, huh?”

“Because I-”

Cathain wanted to say he loved her as he loosen his grip over her a little but suddenly Eleanora stepped towards him and placed her finger on his lips to shut him up.

“Sush!”

Cathain was a little starlet because of her changing attitude and behaviour.

A little while ago she was scared, then she become aggressive but now she appears calm which she is absolutely not.

.....

“Don’t say you love me.”

Saying this, Eleanora paused a little and draw him more closer.

“You don’t deserve to say that to me, My Majesty...”

“…”

Eleanora whispered in a low and cold voice as she pulled him closer to her by pulling his neck tie.

Where Cathain clenched his fist after hearing her words.

Why he doesn’t deserve it?

How long he has to suppress his feelings for her?

How longer does she want to torture him to get over the past that he doesn’t even remember?

He always respected her, gave her time because he knew she was once hurted by his past self, but what about the current him?

Why is he suffering for someone else’s sin?

Eleanora stepped back, her eyes was full of disgust and hatred as she saw him hanging his head down.

But as she turned away, his low voice stopped her once again.

“...Why?

Why don’t i deserve it?”

Cathain felt like his heart was piercing into pieces as he spoke.

Till now, he kept seeing her leaving without turning back again and again.

Throwing away his heart and breaking it into pieces, but he still picks them up and glue them together.

Chase after her again, only to break down one more time.

Eleanora sallowed her saliva to drench her throat which had become dry before she opened her mouth to speak.

“You know... Fairy tales should began great, Regardless of their ending.”

Eleanora paused on her words a little as she exhaled a heavy breathe before speaking again.

“But our tale was broken from the very beginning... So it won’t have a good ending.”

Eleanora spoke her last words and moved her legs to walk away but Cathain’s shout stopped her again.

“Why are you so sure of it?!”

Cathain spoke aggressively as he stood infront of Eleanora again.

He had enough of this bothering feeling in his heart.

Eleanora could see the pain written on his face and find her past self into him.

He didn’t touched her this time and both of them stood face to face.

Eleanora felt heartache too but she kept her indifference expression as she spoke with her cold eyes looking into his.

“Because i have seen the ending. Am not the one who you should love.”

Eleanora spoke and without waiting for his response, she wanted to leave from the side, but Cathain stepped aside to block her.

“But my heart beats for you.”

“!!!!”

Cathain’s words made Eleanora stunned and she tried her best to hold back her tears.

How the past her has kept trying so hard and hard to hear this from him.

Once she yearend to hear it, but it doesn’t matter now anymore.

It’s just too late.

“...Then stop it beating for me.”

“I can’t.”

“It has nothing to do with me.”

Eleanora spoke as she averted her gaze to look away and Cathain took a step towards her.

“But you care... You are afraid of me because you know that your heart beats for me too...”

Cathain spoke as he cupped her face into his hands and tried to make her look at him.

Trying to find a little bit of emotions for him in her blue eyes.

Just a little bit is enough but there is none...

Eleanora didn’t spoke as she knew what he said might be somewhat true to some extent.

But does that change the fact that he killed her?

She had enough of this!

“Then i should just stop it from beating...”

Eleanora spoke with a smrik as she drew her sword and hold it on her neck.

She have already died once, and now this seems like the only step that can stop him from bothering her.

“Empress!!”

Cathain’s eyes widened in shock as he grabbed the sword with his bare hands and blood rushed out from his palm.

Eleanora pressed her trembling lips as she looked at him with tears in her blue eyes.

‘Do you hate me to that extent that you rather die then being with me?’

His heart was aching more then his hands which was bleeding.

But he felt this scene rather familiar.

Eleanora holding her sword on her neck... But this has never happened before.

Why is he feeling more pain as the more he tries to recall?

Then Eleanora’s cold voice helped him to come back to his senses.

“This is what happens when we love each other, My majesty... One of us would be full of blood to please the other!”

Eleanora spoke as she remembered how she used to do everything to please the past Cathain, just like how the present Cathain does to the current her.

“Then let me be the one full of blood... You think death can stop me from being with you?”

Cathain spoke as he gripped the sword more harder, making his wound deepen.

His words made Eleanora more anger and she tried to take back her sword which cut his hands more deeper with a slashing sound.

Cathain smriked as he released the sword from his bleeding hands and Eleanora put back her sword.

But right then, his hands full of blood touched her face and covered her white cheeks with his red blood.

“If you dare to threat me with your life again, then every living being in this empire will accompany you to the afterlife, My Empress. Including me...”

“…”

Eleanora couldn’t find any words to speak and only glare at him.

“No matter how many times you are reborn... You are destined to me and only me alone!”

.....

“Heh... Destined to you and then killed again?”

Cathain’s hands which was holding her face froze as he heard her sneering and his expression turned dark.

‘Killed?’

Eleanora looked at him with deep emotions, mixed of pain, fear, anger and love that has turned into deep hatred.

“Didn’t you wanted to know the story of my ending?”

Eleanora sarcastically spoke but somehow Cathain didn’t wanted to hear it.

A fear filled his heart which told him that whatever she says right now will be the end for them.

He didn’t wanted that.

But he couldn’t speak to stop her either.

The sun was already set and the bright moon had already risen up in the dark sky long ago, shining brightly.

Cold wind blew, indicating for the upcoming storm as few rain drop started to pour.

There was only silent between them and their fast beating painful heart.

And then, finally the rain started as Eleanora opened her mouth to speak in a low and pained voice.

“Your love killed me, Your Majesty. My duchy was destroyed, My father was imprisoned and I, Your empress... was executed for a sin that she never did.”

A loud thunder lighten up the sky and to Cathain, it felt like the thunder had actually landed on his heart.

The broken twilight of the moon and the growing coldness of the night seem to be mirroring them.

Cathain felt like the distance between them suddenly grow so much that he can’t reach her no matter how hard he tries.

He just kept standing, looking at her with shock.

He wanted to wipe away her tears but his hands wasn’t moving.

“I’m getting tired of your meaningless obsession and i don’t want to die again. Just let me live peacefully...”

“I can forgive but not forget...”

Eleanora’s silent tears was mixed up with the rain water as spoke and turned around to ran fast without looking back.

Where Cathain kept standing without moving. Her words kept ringing on his ears and mind.

Till now, he had thought of countless possibilities of their ending.

But never once he thought something like this.

‘My empress...was executed?’

‘Why?’

‘And the past me did nothing to save her and just watched her being executed? Is this why she hates me, doesn’t wants me?’

Cathain thought as he stood alone in the empty street, letting the rain drench him fully.

In the dark cold night, Cathain felt his heart empty.

The moment she is not with him anymore, he seems to find his life meaningless.

He closed his eyes as he exhaled a heavy breathe out and faced the sky by looking up.

There is no meaning of his life without her.

‘Is there really no way for us?’

Cathain felt like breathing was becoming harder for him and his heart was in so much pain that he punched his chest lightly a few times.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed but the world seem to stop around him.

Her words kept ringing in his ears as the past visions kept repeating on his mind.

‘Stop it... Please...’

‘Stop...No...No...’

Cathain felt stinging pain on his head as His legs suddenly went numb and he fall on his knees, but he didn’t cared about that.

‘Is this how you felt like in the past, when i used to turn away? Is this my retribution?’

Cathain thought as he stared at his wounded hand, the blood has been washed away by the rain water long ago.

‘If it’s your revenge...then you have succeed, My empress. I rather you would kill me then letting me suffer from your indifference.’

‘...Am living but suffocating by each breathe i take.’

Cathain felt like his vision was becoming dark and he faintly heared someone rushing to him to help.

‘I want to be loved by her so badly...’

He thought as he gradually lose his senses and then suddenly another voice rang on his head.

‘Then...let me help you...’