Chapter 147 - Self-evaluation

"When a person is drunk, their inhibition declines. Their brain is not functioning the same as if they were sober. Hence why there are strict laws against drunk driving. There are several reasons why you did what you did but the brain is an amazing and complicated organ of itself. How do you feel about the kiss?"

"I feel guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed about it. I pretended to the person that I don't recall any of it when I remembered all of it."

"Do you perhaps have feelings toward the person you kissed?"

"No, I don't." Lena replied bluntly. "If I liked him, I think I would be more ecstatic about kissing him rather than feeling guilty and ashamed. And I have been deeply in love with someone before. I think if I feel in love again, I would not lie to myself about it. Love is a great thing when done correctly and if you ignore that feeling, it will slowly eat your brain."

Lena paused and adjusted her sitting position on the floor. "If I ignore the person entirely in the equation, the kiss was damn good though."

"How is your sexual life? That's a bit personal but it might be why you kissed someone. A feeling of lust or sexual desire to do it."

Lena paused to ponder again. SHE HAS NO SEXUAL LIFE!!

"None. I will only do such a thing with a person I genuinely love, that is if I am not drunk. I watched those bad videos once and it ruined my mind forever."

Stella chuckled in her heart. It was not every time a patient is very honest during their first session together. "Woman can watch those too. Could that possibly sparked a self-experience that you have never considered?"

Lena was quite so Stella continued. "Some young woman get exposure to their own body desires when they are educated about sex in school. Others get curious when they are in a serious relationship. Maybe for you, you only felt the desire now because you want to start a family?"

"I do want a family. I want lots of kids.. like 6."

Stella was surprised Lena wanted so many kids. These days, most woman only wanted 1 or 2. "So maybe the question is not exactly why you kissed a man while you were drunk, but maybe self-realization about the mental changes your body is going through. It's just like experiencing your first period or going through puberty."

Again... Lena was still quiet. She was processing the evaluation and question that Stella was giving her and trying to see if it was true. Lena felt that her desire to hug, kiss, or be near a man may be due to her heavy unconscious desire to be in a strong romantic relationship and start a family in the future.

"I think I understand now." Lena spoke.

"Are you sure? We can talk more to explore this if you want to."

"No. I am feeling a bit embarrassed... let's go backward and talk about you."

"Sure." Stella replied. Building a comfortable relationship with the patient can allow them to trust his/her therapist more. Stella often talked about herself but she always made sure not to go into too many details. She liked to keep her private life away from her work life too. "What would you like to know about me?"

"I don't really know where to start."

"Well, how about something we both can connect with? I met Dr. Tye when he did a lecture for my class. I could not believe such a young man was an accomplished doctor at his age."

"Ah... I met Tye when he came to my house with Collin because Kris took some bad pills."

Stella was a bit shocked. Tye did not tell her much about what Lena's role in Kris' therapy was but it seems like Lena has seen the worse of Kris.

"So Collin was there?"

"Yeah. He is my emergency contact for anything relating to Kris. I feel like he's the big dad of the group. Keso is the big brother. Kris... well he is like the baby. He cries randomly and is happy at other times. Lay is the dog who wags its tail and follow the baby everywhere. Tye... he's like the mom. And Hugh... he's the ghost that haunts the house."

Stella laughed a bit. "Why is Hugh the ghost?"

Lena was more relaxed now that they had changed the topic. "I have never seen him before but his name always gets a mention from time to time."

"That makes sense. I have never seen him too, but I have talked to him before."

"Oh, I was thinking that he was an imaginary friend. Good to know that he is real."

Lena finished her session with Stella. Although they went a bit off-topic, Lena felt that she trusted Stella more. She will prepare more for Stella next time. They would meet every Tuesday for one hour at 4 p.m. until Lena feels a bit better then they can meet bi-weekly instead.

Lena left the office at 5 p.m. James drove Lena to the Zhao hotel so she can go drive her car back home.

-------

Andy just got off work. There was another scandal going on with one of his artists and he had to take care of that. It was 10 past 5. Eva and he got into an argument a few days ago and had not made up yet. He wondered if she was still angry at him.

Their argument was some stupid stuff over the rings. He did not want the five diamonds on his ring and Eva told him that he needed it to make the rings match.

Andy was driving but he called Eva. After a few ring, Eva picked up.

"Hello?" Eva answered.

"It's me. Where are you? Let's go have dinner together." Andy spoke.

"I--- I can't. I have to go pick up the invitation cards for the wedding."

"This late?"

"Uh.. yeah. Apparently, there were some minor errors and I have to go see it."

As he drove and spoke on the microphone, the end of his eye caught Eva walking down the street. Andy quickly drove his car to the side and stopped. He was on the other side of the busy road.

"Didn't you have the invitations get made at PyroPaper?"

"I did. I am there just now. "

"You have your bodyguards with you right?"

"Of course babe. I have to go, dinner tomorrow, I promise."

Eva hung up the phone. He looked over the street and he was sure it was Eva there. She rung the doorbell of a building and waited outside. An older man opened the door. Eva instantly pushed something to the man. The man looked unsatisfied and dragged Eva inside the building.