CH 4

Before the age of 23, Shen Wenqiu’s life was smooth.

He had good grades, good relations, and a good family background. As soon as he graduated, he joined his family’s company as the heir apparent. His options were limitless; no matter where he went, he would be loved by everyone.

…Then the family business went awry.

The situation itself was not something rare. It was a typical bankruptcy case. They were eager to expand, made some strategic mistakes, failed to follow the direction of the market, and the capital chain suddenly broke. Shen Wenqiu had just graduated two years ago, and he was still immature and inexperienced. How could he help? All he could do was secretly pawn his house and car that his father bought him in full amount into the bank, and borrowed credit. It was still not enough, so he then borrowed money from some shady private institutions through his connections. He borrowed everything he could borrow under his own name.

When his father found out, he was very angry but touched. Shen Wenqiu acted first before saying anything to him. When he finally knew it, there was nothing else he could do.

They borrowed a lot of money, but the business still failed.

The land had seemingly yet to be developed and was left to rot. 

The company filed for bankruptcy and liquidation.

Both father and son became debtors overnight.

His father still held his breath and said, “Don’t be afraid, Dad is still here. We can just start over. Dad will pay back all the money.”

But of course he felt ashamed of himself. Once when he was drunk, he cried and said to him: “I don’t mind if I am the only one who suffers. You’re also a silly child, why did you have to sell the house? Dad is sorry for you, Dad is sorry for you.”

“I promised your mother to let you, both mother and son, live a good life. She didn’t make it. You are also hurt by me, and you are still so young.”

During that time, his father was under too much pressure, he worked desperately, running around trying to make a comeback.

Then one day he unexpectedly fell on the side of the road and suffered a sudden myocardial infarction. When he was sent to the hospital, he was already out of oxygen.

Only then did Shen Wenqiu discover that the omnipotent father in his eyes also had limits.

His dad was also actually just an ordinary person.

In the first few months after borrowing money for his father’s funeral, he lived a muddled life.

At first, he stayed at his brother’s and friend’s house and slept on many people’s couches. He was so depressed that no one could stand someone with so much negativity for a long time.

He couldn’t remember which friend brought it up, that told him that regardless, he should first relax, regain his mentality and unwind. Wouldn’t playing games make him happy? He felt that it made sense, and at that time he was extremely hopeful to find a place where he could escape reality.

Then his life slipped to the bottom in one breath.

He started to become less and less willing to return to society to live a normal life. He had become a dishonest person. If he wanted to get up again, he needed to work dozens of times harder than others. He had borrowed money from almost every relative and friend. But in front of the money, there was no such thing as friendship. Especially after discovering that he simply could not pay back, he was not treated well.

He thought endlessly, even if he went back to work and paid back the debts, what’s the point? His dad can’t come back to life anyway.

It’s pointless.

It  was like an addiction to psychotropic opium. He became more and more incapable of quitting. He knew it fully well, but he didn’t want to quit. Because only at this time, he could paralyze himself, forget the painful reality, and get a short period of happiness.

He even prayed that he would die suddenly, and let death solve everything.

When he was a child, he read novels and saw stories about families whose life turned upside down, and thought it was something that was far from him.

He didn’t expect that it would be so easy to fall down.

After going to his father’s grave last month, he squatted at the grave and smoked two packs of cigarettes. Suddenly, he felt that it was time.

Recently, he felt quite bored no matter where he went to play.

Well, it’s time to die.

He dreamt of dying in a lot of ways, and also dreamt of many past events. It was as if he was carefully reviewing his whole life in a revolving lantern before he died.

Dreaming of life leads to death and dreaming of death leads to life.

So many figures that have been forgotten appeared and disappeared, and finally left the figure of a man, which repeatedly surfaced.

——Lu Yong.

Shen Wenqiu thought about him and thought it was because he felt too guilty.

He dreamed of the last time he saw Lu Yong.

It was a snowy day.

He didn’t want to meet Lu Yong, but the snow was really falling heavily. Lu Yong had been waiting outside the villa for half an hour. When his father found out, he said, “Lu Yong is looking for you. When did you have such a bad personality? Why are you acting like a spoiled child? You shouldn’t toss people like this. Even if it is a quarrel, you should let him enter the house and continue the quarrel inside.”

He was so angry that he said, “You don’t understand! It’s none of your business!”

But after saying that, Shen Wenqiu still went out to meet Lu Yong.

His heart was filled with burning anger, even the ice and snow were unable to cool him down.

Shen Wenqiu scolded Lu Yong, “Are you crazy? Are you threatening me?”

Lu Yong’s dark cheeks were chapped by the wind, his lips were purple. Since he was so tall, he hunched his back slightly, and he slumped in front of him. He said in a muffled voice, “No…… you’ve been ignoring me for a few days. I was thinking, are we not friends anymore?”

Shen Wenqiu’s eyes were colder than ice and snow, and his malice almost pierced into the bone marrow. Young people would always talk without thinking, “Yeah, don’t you know your own place? Did you fucking want to just be my friend?”

“Do I have to say something so disgusting out loud?”

“Lu Yong, you don’t even look at what situation you are in.”

“Your father has worked so hard to raise you, and you are turning into a gay? You might not be disgusted, but I am. It’s almost time for the college entrance examination, and you’re still thinking about such things?”

Lu Yong looked at him, his eyes slowly reddened, but he did not cry.

Shen Wenqiu’s heart hurt like it was pierced with pins and needles, he looked away, “Don’t make it look as if I’m bullying you.”

Lu Yong was silent for a while. He took off his scarf and put it around his neck.

“What are you doing! Don’t touch me!” Shen Wenqiu was irritated and raised his hand to slap the hand away. The scarf fell to the ground and when they were pushing back and forth, one foot stepped on the scarf. The sole of the shoe was stained with dirty snow sludge, making obvious black footprints on the scarf. He froze for a moment.

Shen Wenqiu still remembered that scarf, which was woven by Lu Yong himself with only one arm. The diamond pattern was the same as a scarf of a famous foreign brand. He had seen it in a magazine before, but could not buy it. He pointed to the picture and complained to Lu Yong. Lu Yong immediately said energetically, “This pattern is not difficult. I can knit it, and I should be able to finish it for you by Christmas.”

He smiled and said, “Really? Do you even know how to knit a scarf? You’re amazing.”

But before he received it, they fell out.

Lu Yong picked up the scarf and said, “You are so lightly dressed, and I see that your nose is frozen red. I wanted to warm you up.”

Lu Yong didn’t look angry, and seemed silly even. And it made Shen Wenqiu even more angry, “I’m having a fight with you! I’m breaking off my friendship with you!!”

“What’s wrong with you? Don’t act as if nothing is wrong!!!”

Lu Yong looked like he was in too much pain, and stood still, “Oh.”

Shen Wenqiu took a deep breath and exhaled. The winter air was too cold, and his nose and mouth felt like they were scratched by a knife. He took out a light, fluttering piece of paper from his pocket. It was too cold and his fingers were frozen.

It was a very exquisite piece of cardboard, sent by Lu Yong, cut from pearlescent paper found in the scrap, It looked like a machine cut, regular square card with three words that were engraved with a pen: Wish Card.

Shen Wenqiu handed it over, without looking at Lu Yong, and said, “This is the birthday present you gave me last year. I will now make my wish–“

“I hope you don’t come looking for me anymore. Have a good high school exam and don’t show up in front of me again in this life.”

Lu Yong was like a dead man, he didn’t make any sound at all, not moving, and not picking the card up.

Shen Wenqiu handed it out again, and said, “Didn’t you say that you would promise to grant any wish you could do?”

Snow fell on the tips of Lu Yong’s hair, and it didn’t melt. After a long time, he finally moved, and a soft voice floated from the bottom of his throat: “Okay.”

Lu Yong took the card and looked at him, subconsciously making a gesture as if he was reaching out to help him sweep the snow off his shoulders. But then when he lifted it up, he took it back, and slowly said, “I understand, Xiao Baa.”

“You should go back inside soon, it’s too cold. I will listen to you. If you don’t like it, I will never come to you again in the future.”

Shen Wenqiu turned around and left without looking back.

He returned to the warm room, and looked down the courtyard downstairs on the second floor of the villa. Lu Yong was still standing there.

Lu Yong lowered his head and kept staring at the small card in his hand.

Only after ten minutes, Lu Yong raised his foot to leave. He walked very slowly. The snow on the road was not deep, but every step he took seemed to be stalled. He had to use his strength, pull out his foot, and walk forward. Walking up, he looked like a scrapped robot, which was quite comical.

–

Today, Lu Yong came home half an hour later than usual.

Shen Wenqiu looked at the clock several times, and felt annoyed.

Finally there was a sound of the door opening, he immediately stood up and walked over, thinking how to mention to Lu Yong that he was going to leave.

When they faced each other, Shen Wenqiu was stunned, staring at the dirty furball in Lu Yong’s arms. It was the stray dog that he had seen a few days ago.

Lu Yong placed the briefcase in the entrance cabinet and said, “Xiao Baa, can you help me get a carton in the utility room? I won’t take off my shoes and enter the house, I’ll take him to the pet hospital.”

Shen Wenqiu asked knowingly, “Where did the dog come from?”

Lu Yong said, “When I came back, I happened to meet the security guards catching this dog. It was a stray dog that was raised and ​​abandoned. They were going to kill him, so I asked them to hand it over.”

Shen Wenqiu glanced at a light trace of blood on the back of Lu Yong’s hand, turned around and took the cardboard box, handed it to Lu Yong, then changed into a pair of outdoor slippers, and said, “I’ll go to the hospital with you.”

He will talk about it with Lu Yong later.

Lu Yong held the cardboard box in his arms, with the puppy in it.

“You are really a good person.” Shen Wenqiu said.

Lu Yong hesitated and asked: “Xiao Baa, are you complimenting me or mocking me?”

Shen Wenqiu choked, “I’m praising you!”

Lu Yong gave a soft laugh.

He always knew that Lu Yong was a good person, and he was somewhat relieved. Yes, Lu Yong is the kindest and most forgiving man, even if he has been hurt before, he is willing to help him regardless of what he did in the past.

However, the act of Lu Yong helping him was probably no different from rescuing the wild dog on the side of the road.

It’s been ten years.

He has turned rotten like this, how could Lu Yong still like him?