CH 46

“I didn’t receive it…” Lu Yong felt like he had suffered heavy blunt blows on the chest, and his soul consciousness seemed to deviate from his body due to shock. He stood in place, stunned. “I know you invited a lot of classmates that day and sent out invitations. I thought that you would look for me too, so I kept waiting, but you didn’t.”

“But I thought that since the two of us were in a deadlock, it was right that you didn’t invite me.”

“I was also too embarrassed to go over there cheekily.”

Knowing that Lu Yong would not lie, Shen Wenqiu frowned. His throat suddenly felt dry, and he said incredulously, “In order to hide the fact that I wanted to invite you, I sent an invitation to the whole class so that even if they asked, I could find an excuse to say that it was not good if everyone else was invited but not you.”

He still felt extremely depressed when he remembered the scene back then and said in a low voice, “But…you’re the only one who didn’t come.”

Lu Yong put aside the memories of his sadness, and just wanted to comfort him. “Sorry, I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I’m so stupid. I didn’t even think it was weird, so I didn’t even ask a question.”

Shen Wenqiu saw the silly look on his face, and Shen Wenqiu actively took the blame on himself. “What are you apologizing for? It’s not your fault either. I was the one who said harsh words and didn’t let you come to me. It’s my fault.”

Lu Yong: “Blame me.”

Shen Wenqiu: “I don’t blame you. I blame myself.”

Lu Yong: “It’s really my fault, there’s nothing wrong with you. Originally, it was me who had to like you. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t want to change.”

Shen Wenqiu: “…Actually, I can’t blame everything on you as well.”

Lu Yong always felt that there was some meaning behind what he said and felt that he could think about it deeper. After thinking about it for a while, he felt like blushing.

Shen Wenqiu looked at Lu Yong, and he looked back at Shen Wenqiu. No one knew what happened, which led to the loss of the invitation that should have been sent.

The two were speechless.

However, since it had already been ten years, it didn’t matter anymore.

They looked at each other.

Silently, they discovered that each other’s faces seemed to be a bit embarrassing and funny. Lu Yong continued watching until Shen Wenqiu laughed involuntarily. When Lu Yong saw him laugh, although he didn’t know why, he laughed along too.

Lu Yong’s laugh was very forced. It made Shen Wenqiu want to laugh even more, “What are you laughing at?”

The frightful drive Lu Yong showed a few minutes ago disappeared like the ebbing tide. The dark seawater was also submerged under the sand and was no longer visible. He had become that stupid and honest man and admitted to it, “I’m watching you laugh.”

He said sincerely, “It’s good to laugh. Laugh more. I want you to laugh every day and not cry.”

See, this was the most terrifying thing about stupid and honest people.

He usually didn’t say sweet words, but once he said them, the words always came from the heart. People had no choice but to be convinced by them. Since it was rare, it was especially precious.

Shen Wenqiu smiled and couldn’t stop laughing. The tip of his heart felt both sweet and sour. Suddenly, so many misunderstandings were solved. Although there was a feeling that the clouds had disappeared and the rain had cleared up, in the end, they still missed each other for so many years.

He now had a strange feeling in his heart that he couldn’t put a finger on, and he thought that it was probably the same for Lu Yong.

The atmosphere seemed to be very odd.

It was like a sudden change in the setting, and they couldn’t get used to it all at once. Their consciousness was swaying between the past and the present.

Shen Wenqiu even wondered if he was dreaming, because everything seemed so unreal.

He felt that Lu Yong’s hug was not real, Lu Yong’s kiss was not real, and Lu Yong’s show of love was not real.

It was not that Lu Yong’s performance was not good enough—it was his problem.

For a moment, he felt like he was back in the past, but there were still many problems when he really stepped into reality. The process of growing up was the process of learning to give up. He had been losing, losing his first love, losing the ability to fall in love with others, losing his home, losing his father, losing his dreams, losing his friends, and he could only keep convincing himself not to care. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be sad.

So, now that things were different, what should he do?

Lu Yong was a person worthy of his attention, and he would never let him lay his heart on the wrong person. If Lu Yong changed in this world, only then could he really die without lingering. He knew he should at least muster up the last courage to care, but did he have the state of mind now? He calmed down and took a closer look. He wasn’t depressed, but he really didn’t have it.

Could a bad person like him really hold a piece of Lu Yong’s true heart?

“Then maybe it was lost in the delivery,”  Shen Wenqiu said, and he smiled at Lu Yong again. “Okay, now it’s clear that it’s not your fault or my fault. That’s good.”

He replied, “That’s good.”

Lu Yong’s fingertips brushed against the back of his hand from time to time as if he wanted to hold it, but he couldn’t find a good time.

The tip of the heart followed the jump: badump, badump. Badump.

Shen Wenqiu’s heart was pounding. He thought, how would he hold it? From the palm of the hand or from the back of the hand? Hand in hand? Or intertwining the fingers?

At this time.

“Din din!”

They suddenly heard the sharp sound of a horn behind them.

Lu Yong didn’t think much about it. He quickly pulled Shen Wenqiu to the side to dodge and gave way to an electric tricycle whizzing past them. Originally, he was walking on the side, and Shen Wenqiu was walking in the middle of the road because he was afraid that Shen Wenqiu would fall.

Looking back, they were already holding hands.

As if being pushed by fate, he blushed silently and continued to hold hands as if nothing had happened.

Then no one was willing to let go. Anyway, there was no one in the countryside, there were only fields and weeds, bugs and birds around, and no one would point fingers at the intimate behaviour of the two men—but even so, he was still nervous and the palm of his hand was sweating. He couldn’t tell who was sweating, maybe both of them were sweating.

Shen Wenqiu only enjoyed a brief moment of relaxation. He heard the barking of a dog, pulling his consciousness from the romantic state of floating in the clouds back to the reality of rolling in the mud.

Shen Wenqiu took a deep breath and asked in a low voice, “My family is gone, so no one cares about me, but how are you going to explain it to your father? You are the only child in your family. Your father doesn’t have any siblings either…”

“En.” Lu Yong patiently and quietly listened to him and replied, “My dad already knew.”

Shen Wenqiu: “…”

Shen Wenqiu turned his head and stared at Lu Yong in a panic.

Lu Yong saw his trembling appearance and felt as if he saw a silly lamb accidentally step into a trap and was injured. Meanwhile, he was the hunter who had no intention of hurting him. He wanted to coax him, but also felt a little inexplicable satisfaction in capturing the prey. So cute, he thought. He really wanted to kiss him again.

Lu Yong thought boldly, Since we’re lovers, I should have a formal kissing permit, right? He’s so cute. Lu Yong was dizzy from the cuteness, and said too frankly and honestly, “My dad asked me before, and I didn’t want to lie to him.”

Things had escalated up until this point and there seemed to be no other way.

Shen Wenqiu couldn’t stop being flustered and felt like writing himself off as hopeless, but now Lu Yong was the one who took care of it. He said angrily, “I sometimes think you are smart, and sometimes I think you are very stupid. “

Was there no need to press after Lu Yong and ask for his father’s answer?

He could tell from Uncle Lu’s attitude towards him that he was not uncomfortable at all, and he was still tolerant and kind.

Lu Yong had a relaxed attitude as if nothing serious happened, “I’m sorry. I should’ve discussed it with you first.”

Shen Wenqiu repeated himself, “I don’t blame you.  It was me who seduced you first.”

Shen Wenqiu still had a faint sense of guilt about dragging someone else’s good son into the water. It lingered in his mind, and he was unable to get rid of it.

When he could see the door of the house, Shen Wenqiu whispered, “We’re going to be seen. Let’s not hold hands, shall we? We are not high school students.”

Lu Yong, who had no procrastination habit, was so clingy for the first time. He begged him and said, “Just a little longer.”

He thought in his heart, The next second. I’ll just hold for another second. So, one second passed after another. His heart beat fast, and thought, Let’s wait for one more heart beat, one more beat, just one beat.

Shen Wenqiu felt that Lu Yong should be the one who was more stable, more calm and restrained. As a result, someone came out of the yard, and at the moment when they were about to be seen, Shen Wenqiu wanted to let go first, but Lu Yong refused to let go. He grabbed him and quickly hid the clasped hands behind him.

Fuck.

Shen Wenqiu thought.

“Ah, you guys are back, just in time for dinner. They told me to find you guys.”

Lu Yong smiled calmly and replied, “Okay, we’ll go over here.”

Shen Wenqiu didn’t dare to say a word and didn’t dare to move. His heart was about to explode.

For the first time, Shen Wenqiu had been made a fool by the honest man. However, the others didn’t pay attention because he was guilty of being a thief himself.

When the person walked away, Shen Wenqiu lowered his voice and asked him angrily, “Why are you still holding onto my hand?!”

Lu Yong was honest again. “Well, because I want to be seen. If we are seen, I can openly confess that we are in love.”

However, seeing that Shen Wenqiu was unhappy and glaring fiercely at him, he still reluctantly let go of his hand and looked apologetic for his wrongdoing. Shen Wenqiu had lingering fears. He always felt that if there was a next time, Lu Yong would do it without hesitation.

Lu Yong was a daredevil. Lu Yong was not afraid of anything, but he was a coward and a liar.

Lu Yong said, “If you don’t want to, then forget it.”

“It’s not…” Shen Wenqiu said guiltily, “I have a bad reputation anyway, but you do not. You are a young talent.”

“I don’t want to be the only stain on you.”

Lu Yong frowned and said solemnly, “You’re not a stain on me! I couldn’t possibly think so…”

“I know, I know.” Shen Wenqiu nodded and shook his head again. “But other people don’t think that way, and since your father has already approved it, then forget it. You should still introduce me as your friend to outsiders.”

Lu Yong stared at him deeply, like a big dog asking its owner to endure not to go out for a walk. Even if he was not happy, he agreed.

They ate another lunch and left.

Many dishes for this lunch were leftovers from last night’s birthday banquet. The Lu family’s father and son passed down the diligence and thriftiness for two generations, and it was impossible to throw away the unfinished dishes.

Life was like this with a lot of elaborate arrangements for a special day, but it was impossible to live like this every day.

Although Shen Wenqiu was a little confused, because Lu Yong was scheduled not to go to the company for another two days plus the weekend, he had four days.

It was completely possible to stay in the countryside for two more days to relax. Lu Yong had previously negotiated with him that he would return to the city on the last day, but now it was early.

Shen Wenqiu didn’t ask much. He was Lu Yong’s secretary, and everything was up to what the boss said.

They said goodbye to Uncle Lu, and the trunk was full of countryside souvenirs. The two returned fully loaded.

Uncle Lu stood at the gate and waved goodbye to them. “Be careful on the road, don’t rush and drive slowly. You can switch driving with Xiao Baa, okay? Just switch if you are sleepy, and you two should help each other.”

Shen Wenqiu hurriedly agreed, “Okay, I know, uncle.”

He waited and saw the two of them drive away.

Old Comrade Lu put his hands behind his back, walked into a car, and walked back slowly. A guy at their base blushed and walked up to him. He looked troubled as if he knew a big secret but couldn’t say it. He took the initiative to ask, “What’s the matter? Seeing that your face is about to turn into a pig’s liver, just say what you want to say.”

Then the other party said, “…Boss, I saw the two of them walking hand in hand by the field in the morning. Your son and your son’s friend.”

Old Comrade Lu remained calm and clicked his tongue, “I thought you were going to say something. What’s so strange? That’s my son’s boyfriend. It’s normal to be in love and hold hands. What’s wrong with that?”

–

The trip was boring.

Lu Yong turned on the car music, and a random song happened to be Jacky Cheung’s “Love Letter”: “You are so thin and haggard that I feel so distressed. Sometimes love is crueller than time, making people blind and reckless, forgetting that love requires two people putting in effort…”

Shen Wenqiu was very embarrassed and wondered if Lu Yong did it on purpose, but could Lu Yong scheme that? He said, “Your playlist is really old-fashioned, you can change it…”

Lu Yong clenched the steering wheel, “I just like old songs. I can’t get used to the songs that young people like to listen to now.”

Lu Yong was a man with lasting affection.

Shen Wenqiu really had no resistance to the honest and affectionate Lu Yong, but he didn’t want to appear so unreserved, so he changed the subject, “Why did we go back earlier? Is there anything urgent?”

“Yeah.” Lu Yong, with red ears, looked straight ahead and said shamelessly, “I want to go home quickly to make love to you.”