Chapter 72 - The pain of not knowing

Shen drove Lina personally to Dr. Hayama's clinic. He knew a big part of Lina's recovery would be through his support. She would never be alone in this.

As the black Mercedes pulled up in front of the airy, spacious office building a little outside the capital city, Lina's heart sped up.

Part of her wanted to remain in the ignorant bliss she was living in and deal with any troubles by means of pure force rather than confronting the secrets of her past.

But she would time and again be reminded of the pain of not knowing.

There was a lonliness in her heart no amount of company or proximity from others could change.

She was alone because she had no sense of self.

And no amount of doting even by her husband would change that.

Only she could save herself. And she had to be strong.

As they stepped into the building, they were greeted by a lean, bespectacled man with a grave expression.

He smiled politely at the attractive couple who walked in.

There was no one else waiting in the reception area.

Shen assumed that Lina must be the first patient for Dr. Hayama today.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Moshi. The doctor is expecting you."

The receptionist didn't seem like a man of many words and there was a particular sharpness in his eye as he scrutinised Lina.

They followed the receptionist in as he knocked on the doctor's office.

"Come in"

A smooth, magnetic voice called from within the elegant wooden doors.

As the receptionist opened the door, Lina and Shen stepped into Dr. Hayama's consultation chambers.

The moment Lina set eyes on the man, she was enthralled by his strong aura and his commanding presence.

His well-defined face wore a pleasant and welcoming smile, and his appearance was extremely dapper. This seasoned, mature man could take anyone by surprise.

His tall, broad structure had Lina's little assistant Mei swooning, falling head over heels in love with him.

But Lina was only intrigued.

Shen was slightly uncomfortable. The first time he had met with Dr. Hayama, the man was nonchalant, indifferent and matter-of-fact. But today, as he greeted Lina, he seemed somewhat...warm?

His easy-going smile brought a sparkle to his eyes, immediately changing the atmosphere. He had to make Lina feel comfortable enough to trust him and open up to him.

The first meeting was always the most important.

Lina looked around, observant as ever.

The chamber was extremely graceful, with the touch of an elegant man of good taste. Mahogany finishing, book shelves neatly arranged, chaises and sofas to comfort an agony-filled patient and the temperature set just right.

She felt cozy enough to lay down and fall asleep.

"Welcome Madam Moshi. And young master Moshi, it's good to see you again."

The doctor's chocolaty, low voice somehow fit the atmosphere of the chambers.

"Hello Dr. Hayama, my husband has told me much about your excellence in your work. I hope to be in your capable hands."

Lina's response to Dr. Hayama was filled with expectation, even though she knew that recovery was not an overnight process.

Shen, hearing the expectation in her voice, squeezed her hand and smiled warmly at her.

"Please take a seat, both of you. These are the confidentiality doc.u.ments that you both must sign, securing the patient's privacy."

After signing the doc.u.ments and completing the formalities, Dr. Hayama turned to Shen.

"Young master, unfortunately, I must ask you to wait outside while I conduct the session with your wife."

Shen's brow furrowed intensely. Yes, he knew it was normal for psychiatrists to require privacy for their sessions with patients, but Lina's case was special. They'd already talked about him being there to support her. Why should he leave the room!

"Doctor, as you know, Lina needs my presence to ease her anxieties. She's still fragile, and it would be better for me to stand by her side every step of the way."

Lina knew that she had to trust the doctor. Her husband's overprotectiveness would have to take the back seat.

Even though she had initially been panicky and hesitant, she had to fully commit herself to this process in the correct way to make any progress.

Dr. Hayama had a reasonable explanation for both of them.

"Young master, I am not at all familiar with the madam. My objectiveness provides her a space to completely let down her guard and inhibitions to bring back her memory. It won't work if her subconscious worries about protecting you, as I have noticed has been the case."

His observation skills were even better than hers. At first glance, he could tell that even though the husband was overtly protective, Lina's stance was always alert, as if to throw her body in front of his, as if to sacrifice herself to save him.

There was something that subconsciously put this woman on perpetual red alert, even though she was not aware of it.

If her husband remained present, she might suppress things that evoked too much emotion, rather than bringing those memories forth.

Shen still stood stiff in his place. He didn't feel like budging at all.

He then felt his wife's soft little hands squeeze his arm as she looked up at him with her angel eyes.

"Darling hubby...I must do this for you. I need to remember you. Please have some faith in me?"

Her words immediately melted his heart.

He longed for this affection and these adoring gazes from her.

Only she could make him comply.

He nodded and walked to the door, turning around once more to look at her sweet figure standing alone in front of the doctor, prepared to go down this painful path.

"Be safe, my love."

As he said those last words to her before leaving the room to wait outside, Lina's heart felt a stab of pain.

'Be safe, my love.'

Those famous last words were so familiar...as if from another life...