Chapter 120 - The woman she loved

Lina got dressed after receiving the message from Dr. Hayama. She would drive herself there. 

She could tell the housekeeper and butler that she needed to go to the hospital and they wouldn't stop her. 

That's what Lina hoped. 

She wore a white shirt that hung loosely to her dainty, slim figure and a pair of skinny jeans. She tied her hair up into a long ponytail and grabbed her purse before walking out of the room. 

As she was walking out of the main door, the butler stopped her. 

"Madam! Where are you going? Young master said you mustn't leave. For your own safety." 

Butler Min was clearly panicked. What a close call? Madam had almost slipped away. 

Lina sucked in a deep breath and calmed herself down. The house arrest was getting on her every nerve and she was on her last sliver of patience. She would burn the place down if someone tied her up like this!

But she bit on her lip to control her emotions. 

"Butler, I wasn't well all day. I'm going to the doctor. Please don't worry." she turned to leave again. 

But Butler Min wasn't reassured.

"Then I will call the chauffeur and accompany Madam." he said. He wouldn't give up. He had his orders from the young master. 

"No, there's no need-" Lina began to protest. But before she could finish her sentence, she front door opened. 

It was Ayu. 

She walked in with a stack of filed in her arms. She was struggling to carry them. 

Lina sighed. Why did her husband torture this dedicated woman so much. She always worried for Ayu. Even though she knew Ayu wasn't too fond of her. 

Lina immediately took half the files from Ayu's arms, leaving the other woman startled. 

"I can carry them, please put them back Madam" Ayu's annoyed voice complained. 

'Ah, she really hates me and thinks me incompetent' Lina thought to herself, now more upset than ever. 

On the other hand, Ayu's thoughts were elsewhere as a small blush crept up on her cheeks. 

'Why does she look so pretty when she's going out, she'll attract danger! I just want to eat her up, and I'm still a woman!' 

Seeing Ayu's look of disdain, and misunderstand her thoughts, Lina's disappointed heart sank even further. 

Butler Min interrupted the interaction between the two women. 

"Madam, please, the chauffeur is waiting." 

The butler was already prepared to leave. 

"Butler Min, please I'm not a child. I can go see my doctor by myself." Lina's voice sounded agitated, and her eyes were filled with hurt and pain. 

Seeing her expression Ayu's heart skipped a beat. She wanted to hold Lina and protect her from her pain. 

"Butler Min, I will go with Madam. I'll drop her back too." Ayu's voice was strong. She didn't take shit from others and was good at barking orders, being Shen's second in command. 

The butler opened his mouth to protest. But he knew Shen trusted Ayu with his life. It would be alright to leave Madam in her care. 

Lina didn't protest either. Ayu was still better than being walked around like a child with the old Butler and a chauffeur. Ayu was also less intrusive in her busines. She was dependable. 

Ayu left the files in Shen's office. She had a moment to herself. She was going to be alone with Lina. She took a deep breath and composed herself. 

'Don't let it show, Ayu, hide yourself well.' she reminded herself, as she walked back down to where Lina was waiting. 

As she got into the driver's seat, and Lina sat in the passenger's seat, Ayu could feel her presence fill the vehicle. She liked how Lina smelled. There was no overwhelming whiff of perfume or shampoo. Just a soft sweet smell that belonged to Lina and Lina only. 

She remembered waking up to that gentle scent when she first met her, when she collapsed at work and Lina had nursed her. 

'Maybe I should just collapse here again, so she'd come closer'. 

But Ayu quickly wiped those thoughts away and steeled herself, creating a mental fortress. 

"Where do you want to go Madam?" she asked Lina stonily. 

"Uhh...yes, this address here." Lina said, as she pulled out Dr. Hayama's address from her purse. 

Ayu nodded and started driving. Lina just looked out at the window at the city lights as they passed. 

She thought about the memories of Shen she had regained. The memories of him holding her hand as he drove her home after work. 

She wished things hadn't changed so drastically. She wished she hadn't lost her memories. And now there was an ocean between them she couldn't seem to cross. 

'Shen, there's so many words that hang between us. So many feelings that remain faceless and undefined, just hanging in the space that is tearing us apart. I try reach out to you, I try to open my mouth to speak, but somehow the words are stuck in my throat' 

Words that had no meaning without memories, they remained solely in Lina's mind. Only she could find the missing pieces of her life. Nobody would find them for her. 

Ayu sighed. She could see Lina's reflection in the window she was looking out of. Her big eyes were watery and lost. She looked inconsolable. 

She slowly reached out and covered Lina's hand in her own. 

Lina was astounded. For a second, she didn't know what was happening. 

Ayu's hand was warm and soft, like a gentle feather. She turned in surprise to look at the woman next to her. 

There was an awkward, uncomfortable expression on Ayu's face, as if she didn't know how to act around Lina. 

A small smile lit up Lina's face. She was amused by Ayu's action. This tall, gorgeous proud woman with a heart of stone was awkwardly trying to comfort her. She didn't even know why Lina was upset, but she was still trying to reach out. 

Lina's hand tightened around Ayu's, accepting her comfort. Ayu's heart was banging against her chest, and she was afraid it would fall out. 

She tried her best to focus on driving and not look at Lina, feeling the woman she loved's gaze on her smiling gently. 

"It doesn't seem like you hate me so much, after all." Lina said softly. 

Ayu's words were stuck in her throat. Her eyes were welling up with tears. 

She remained silent. 

'I never hated you at all' 

She just couldn't say it.