Chapter 3 – Distance to Approach The One Who Doesn’t Speak (Part 1)
"Animals that are aroused are a nuisance. They will do it wherever they are."
Lunch break. My classmate Shintaro Kanbayashi, who was sitting in the seat in front of me, said something like that.
He looked out the window irritably, and when the wind blew his long bangs out of his eyes, he pushed them away from his face with a miserable look.
Then he would sigh loudly, look out again, and when the wind blew, he would fix his bangs again... and so on.
I was curious what he was looking at, and when I looked over, I saw a couple eating lunch together.
"Hahahahaha... How nice... It's so peaceful~. Hmm-hmm."
After saying that, I saw Kanbayashi leaning on the edge of the window, resting his hands on it.
I stared blankly at the sky and sighed again.
(If it was Ritsu, I'm sure he would agree with my story, even if he pretended to be reluctant. How about it, should I tell him right away?)
He sounds hopeful in his heart...
He kept looking at my face... Well, I couldn't help it either.
"Kanbayashi... what's wrong with you? You keep sighing."
"I was just thinking, why is the world so unfair?"
"Huh, you sound like someone who had a revelation. But yes, that's the way the world is."
"Yeah, yeah. But it still bothers me. Maybe it's because spring is just around the corner, I've been seeing it more and more lately. It's really bothering my eyes."
"Ah~ Pollen from flowers flying around hurts your eyes, right? Yes, I understand──"
"Huh, what are you talking about. I mean couples, yup couples. There are new couples everywhere, like it's suddenly a trend. Normally, I don't care much about couples, but when I see them making out in front of me over and over again, it makes me feel triggered to be able to feel what they feel."
He seemed to look rather envious and sad as he said that he was distressed by this situation.
His well-groomed face looked glum, and his appearance was attractive to the girls.
While looking at Kanbayashi, some of the surrounding girls muttered to themselves that he looked cool.
"If you've ever been in a relationship, I'm sure you'll understand the feelings of those couples who always try to make out in public. I'm sure Kanbayashi could have dated anyone if you were more serious."
"Haha, no way, no way. You know that too, Ritsu. There's no one I like at this school. What I like are older, mature women. Teenagers are not my taste."
"Oh, that's right."
Kanbayashi's appearance wasn't bad. If I had to judge whether he was popular or not, I would definitely say that he was.
However, he likes older women, yes, at least a year older than him.
I heard that Kanbayashi has four younger sisters, so he inevitably has to spoil them every day. And I think his attraction to older women is due to his desire to be the 'spoiled one'.
That's why he always rejects declarations of love from people his own age, and he hasn't had a girlfriend yet.
It's a waste, considering his attractive appearance.
Then Kanbayashi let out an "Oh" as if he had remembered something and clapped his hands.
"Well, there is one person in this school. A woman who is mature and cool."
"Huh, really? There is someone like that..."
"You know, Mochizuki-sensei. She's amazing, right?"
".............Eh"
"What's wrong? You're looking at me like you want to say "Are you crazy? Ritsu is familiar with her, so I think you must understand her charm."
"Charm, huh... Like how she's so clumsy and awkward, huh?"
"Well, isn't that more of a flaw than a charm?"
Kanbayashi laughed.
He seemed to think I was joking.
I tilted my head and he cleared his throat.
"She is a good choice, right? Mochizuki-sensei is quite attractive as a mature woman, and her demeanor is very cool. It is no exaggeration to say that she is my ideal woman."
"Ideal, huh? But she's a teacher. Even if she finally accepts you, won't she be punished for it?"
"Very interesting, isn't it? The forbidden love between a teacher and a student is full of obstacles. But the bigger the obstacles, the more fun it is, right? When you are forbidden to do something, won't you feel the urge to do it? To break the prohibition? The more difficult the obstacle, the greater the satisfaction of overcoming it. People will always be attracted to such challenges."
Kanbayashi said this with a big smile and full of honesty.
He's a very open-minded person, and it's very disconcerting to hear him think to himself, "Wow, so this is possible?". I really wondered what he would do in the future.
I had to quickly tell him not to think about it seriously.
But suddenly he said,
"Well, Ritsu, isn't it time for you to find a new girlfriend? This is the right time, right?"
"Huh? A new girlfriend? I'm happy with my life now. There's nothing to change."
"Oh, I see. Apparently, Ritsu is still on good terms with her as usual. I thought you'd get carried away like everyone else."
"Well, that could happen if there's something I'm really interested in. But in every part of the world, love only creates problems. Especially now, after Valentine's Day, there are many people who are in a hurry to achieve their goals. And worse, there are some of them who flirt with others even though they already have a lover, so yeah, I have to be careful."
"But as far as I know, Ritsu is the one who is most likely to get into trouble, right? I'm just worried about you."
"Hahaha. Don't worry about it. I'm good at avoiding danger."
"Hee...really? I think you're the one who likes to play with fire. Yes, Ritsu is a person who is always looking for trouble."
"Yeah, whenever it is, trouble will always come by itself──"
"It's not like that. Shouldn't you be more vigilant and careful?"
"Yes, that's true. But it gets rather unpleasant. Doesn't it?"
The crying in someone's heart that others can usually ignore, I could hear directly.
Often the cries were loud, as if they were crying for help.
And if I looked in the direction of the voice, I could see who it was...
Of course, I couldn't just walk away after recognizing it.
I would feel guilty for ignoring someone in need. I would also feel guilty for pretending not to know if I could hear it.
If I could be indifferent, maybe I wouldn't feel burdened, but it seemed like my body was designed to accept these problems.
Well, because I always took action to relieve that guilt, I got the reputation I have now...so to speak.
"In the end, it was more hypocrisy than kindness, so yes, it was just for my own satisfaction."
"Huh. Yeah, if Ritsu thinks it's okay, I won't say anything else."
"Well, at least I'll be a little more careful."
"I wonder if you'll get a hole in your stomach from all the trouble you're having."
Kanbayashi shrugged worriedly.
I could only smile at his concern and laugh, "Hahaha.
"Oii, let me in! You guys are having fun, huh?", I heard a voice from behind me and felt a heavy weight on my back.
I turned around to see a man with dark skin, short hair, and an athletic appearance. That man was Jun Kawaguchi.
When my eyes met Kawaguchi's, he smiled at me with the innocent smile of a boy who had just graduated from elementary school.
"It's heavy, hey!"
"Oops, sorry. I was just trying to take advantage of this handsome guy."
"What are you going to do after physically attacking him?"
"Ahahahahaha! Yeah, sorry, sorry~!"
Although he was tall, muscular, and handsome, his personality was still childish.
He looked like a serious person when he was silent, but when he started to open his mouth, his childlike innocence would be clearly visible.
This gap between his appearance and his personality made him popular with girls, but he was so dedicated to his club activities that he refused all the declarations of love he received.
"You are so late, Gu-san. Lunch is almost over."
"Well, the teacher called me earlier. But it's all taken care of now."
He gave a thumbs up and a big smile.
"I'm glad you were able to finish everything. Are you having problems with your exam results again?"
"Yes, they decided to give me a make-up exam."
"Oh. Is that something that can be said happily?"
Kanbayashi said with a sigh, a look of shock on his face.
Kawaguchi was not bothered by his attitude and did not care at all.
"Hahaha! Isn't it good that I still have a chance to fix it?"
"Huh? The chance here means the chance for you to failing a grade, right?"
"Don't worry, don't worry! I have an amazing ultimate weapon."
"Uh, I didn't know Kawaguchi had something like that, because I see you're always busy with your club activities. Did you call a tutor? Well, good luck then."
When I said that, Kawaguchi looked at me with a desperate expression.
"............" (That's obviously a lie...right?)
When I turned my face away, he grabbed my shoulders tightly.
"Please teach me!!! If I don't pass the make-up test, I'll fail a grade. I thought my grades wouldn't be a problem because I'm good at sports, but it's not! I'm really begging you, Ritsu!!!"
"Ugh, stop shaking me... I mean, how many times did you ask?"
"You're the only one I can count on. Ritsuemon, please help me~!"
"You think I'm that versatile robot cat. I guess you think I'd be willing to help you if you asked, right?"
"Ah, so you already knew?"
"You don't have to be Ritsu to know that. I'm tired of seeing it myself! I hope you make it as a comedian."
"Hmmm. Yeah, I was expecting some variation of the way you asked me for a favor this time. So this is a bit disappointing."
"You two are really mean!"
Kanbayashi and I looked at each other and sighed.
The other classmates laughed as they watched our conversation.
It had become a tradition by now, and I think they already knew what was going to happen next.
Me too, so it was a bad joke, right?
Kawaguchi gave up and his shoulders slumped, but then he pulled some food stamps out of his wallet, which he had probably prepared beforehand.
"That's right, a coupon for free ramen from the school cafeteria. Hmm, how about... a jumbo bowl of ramen with a large chashu?" [TN: Chashu is a pork cutlet]
"Uh, the one with the soft-boiled egg, right?" [TN: Soft-boiled egg is like a boiled egg, but the yolk inside is still a little runny. It's really good if you've tried it at ramen shops~]
"Ugh... My monthly allowance..."
"Hmm. I guess Gu-san will have to endure eating bean sprouts every day this month~"
"Damn, then I'll go on a diet this month...."
"Thank you as always. All right, I'll teach you seriously."
"Thanks for the help, Ritsu~! Well, the problem is over. Let's go eat!"
"It's not that easy, man."
He responded to the rebuke with a childish smile.
The make-up test wasn't over yet, but he seemed to think he had solved the problem.
Well, he seems determined, so I'm sure he'll work hard later.
He just can't do it alone. But he seems to be a person who understands easily and can learn well with proper guidance.
"Are you sure you want to do it again?"
"It's okay, I don't mind. I'm used to it."
"Really? But with all this teaching load, it's going to be harder for you to catch up to first place, isn't it?"
"No problem. I've been studying every day, and teaching will help me learn. Besides, it's not a bad idea to study in a lively atmosphere once in a while."
"Hmm, I see..."
Kanbayashi shrugged and sighed.
"Well, then I'll come too. Ritsu's teaching style is very easy to understand."
"Uh, wait a minute. If one more person comes, we'll have to talk───"
"Then I'll come too. It seems to be an interesting development."
"Oi, Kiri──saki?"
Kirisaki, who had just arrived, immediately interrupted the conversation.
This was a common interaction between friends.
And those silly moments could sometimes be fun.
But it was only fun for us, not for the people around us. Negative feelings always grow around people who make a fuss or look like they're having a good time.
"They're doing it again, huh?"
"Hee, that looks like fun!"
That was the look our classmates gave us when they saw us joking around like that.
In other words, they were just jealous of us, and in their hearts they felt 'annoyed' or jealous.
But I don't have the courage to put it into words, so I guess I keep it to myself.
I can ignore it and not worry about it, but there's a possibility that those negative feelings could continue to grow and explode at any time... so it could become a very troublesome thing one day.
Emotions are like living things, and it is common for people to understand them in their heads, but not be able to act on them.
Things that might be trivial in your mind might have long-term effects in the future.
So──,
"Would you like to join our study group?"
I asked them.
They probably weren't expecting to be spoken to. The girls looked a little surprised and then replied with a wry smile, "No, we're fine".
"Oh, I see. Well, just come by if you want to join us later. I'll always be waiting for you~"
I chuckled and tried to look friendly.
A cool guy inviting others to join him. That's the image I created for now.
"Hahaha! What the heck~? But thank you!"
When I deliberately signaled that the side next to me was empty, the girls laughed at me.
I had invited them to join us, and they had turned me down. To the onlookers around us, this might seem a little silly.
But if, through a series of actions like the one I had just performed, they ended up thinking that "Kaburagi is a good person and open to everyone", then my plan would have succeeded.
In other words, everyone will think of me as a good guy. But even if some hateful feelings were directed at me, that wouldn't be a problem.
Because──if it's directed at me, I'll be able to handle it.
And I don't mind if they really want to join.
The class will be better if we can harmonize everything. And a harmonious class will be a comfortable environment...
However, I realized that the way the mind works is indeed very difficult to deal with.
After greeting my other classmates, I returned to my previous position.
"Ritsu, is there anyone else who wants to join us?"
"No, no... hmm?"
My cell phone vibrated and I saw an incoming message.
The message turned out to be from Kirisaki, saying, "Good job".
Ah, of course. She must have noticed.
I glanced at her and saw her looking away.
Then I sighed and put my hand on Kawaguchi's shoulder as he started to eat his lunch.
"By the way, let's do the study session later, okay? One day won't be enough for Kawaguchi, so we'll do it every day until the day of the exam."
"Eh, every day?"
"Yes. In fact, we have to be really serious about studying every day. If you really want to succeed, you have to make the effort."
"Hah, seriously~~~."
Kawaguchi fell on his face with his hands, but in his heart, he said, "I'll do my best!" as he sighed.
His overreaction to liven things up was so funny that I couldn't help but laugh.
Well... from now on, I'll be practicing with Kurusu and holding study sessions with them.
Can I get Kurusu to come to this study session?
While I was thinking about it, I opened my lunch box, even though it was a little late.
By the way, the contents of today's bento box were fried chicken.
"Ritsu's bento looks delicious as usual. How can you make such a wide variety of food?"
"Mmm!" (Seriously, it's amazing! I'd even pay if he made it for me)
"Don't talk when you have something in your mouth."
He looked like a squirrel munching on a huge amount of nuts.
But strangely, he still looks cool.
"Ah~! Rikkun's lunch looks so delicious~!"
Unknowingly, my classmate Kurumi Matsui came up to us and said that with a greedy look.
With her tiny body that looked like a small animal, she squatted next to my desk and stared at my bento box.
"Do you want some?"
"May I~~?"
"Just one."
"Hurray~~!"
I stuffed a piece of fried chicken into Matsui's mouth, and she jumped up and down happily.
"Thank you" (Thank you!!)
She looked very happy as she ate it, and then she looked at me as if to say that one was not enough.
"Um... do you want some more?"
"But..."
"Don't worry. Just eat as much as you want."
"All right, I'll eat it!"
Her eyes lit up, and she ate my bento happily.
Since she looked so happy while eating it, I felt satisfied.
"Ah...Rikkun. Sorry."
Matsui returned my bento box with a guilty look on her face.
And when I looked at the contents, there was only one piece of fried chicken left.
"Alright, that's fine. I put a lot of effort into cooking this fried chicken, so is it good?"
"Yes! I want to eat it again!"
"I'll make some more for you later. But I don't know if you'll get fat if you eat too much."
"I don't seem to be gaining weight, so that won't happen!"
Looking at her innocent childish smile, I didn't even want to be angry with her.
It was a great honor for me to be able to make dishes that were recognized as delicious by others... but I was still starving. Well, I'll buy something later.
For now, I'll just smile and watch the others eat.
"You idiot. You should have known this would happen!"
Kirisaki sat down at the table and put something on my head.
I heard a plastic sound and took the object off my head to check it out. And it turned out to be my favorite sweet bun.
"Thanks, Kirisaki!"
"No problem. Well, it would be very inconvenient if someone were to starve and pass out later. I just wanted to prevent that."
"I really appreciate your help. But I will pay for it anyway. So how much?"
"Just take it. If you need a reason, it's because you're going to help me study for the exam."
"Oh, okay. Thanks."
As usual, I couldn't hear her inner voice, but it seemed like she always said whatever she felt.
I happily accepted, opened the plastic and put the bread in my mouth.
"But Ritsu is really good at cooking. Everyone wants to eat your bento, where did you learn to cook?"
"Ah──umm. It's not that I learned it, rather... it's that I have to do it whether I want to or not..."
"Huh, why is that?"
"It's a matter of life and death. If I can't cook for myself, something dark will appear in the form of food... Ah~ I get goosebumps just thinking about it... Ugh."
"Uwa──. How pathetic."
Don't do that. It's hard to see you putting your hands together to show your sympathy for me.
And cooking my own food is not something I hate.
"It's hard to prepare your own food every day, isn't it?"
"Well, it's just a matter of habit. If you say so, you do it yourself too, Kirisaki."
"Yes, I do it sometimes. Even then, it's not as delicious as Ritsu's."
"Huh, really? I think you're getting better at it. You practice a lot too, right?"
"...That praise won't get you anywhere!"
"Huh, you don't want to be honest, huh~"
Kirisaki usually does not think about anything when she speaks, but sometimes when I praise her like this, I can hear her inner voice.
At such times, I can hear her inner voice saying, (Don't praise me, idiot).
When I laughed at her, she looked grumpy and had a sullen expression on her face.
"Hee? How dare you have an affair with someone else when you already have me, right?"
"Hinamori, you're late. Lunch break is almost over."
"I can't help it, I have to work for the student council."
"That sounds like a lot of work. It's to prepare the welcome party for this year's freshmen, right?"
"Yeah, right. I want them to have a good impression, so I'm working hard to prepare it." (It is important to show them how great I am. How many freshmen will be fascinated by me... Ah, I feel guilty about that)
"...You're still planning the same mysterious thing."
Hinamori's heart is disappointing, but she always tries hard to make herself look good.
If you don't know her true heart, it's easy to be fooled by her without realizing it.
"Oh, Kaburagi-san. Didn't you prepare a bento box for me?"
"Hmm? Do you want it?
"Not really. Even though the one I tasted before was delicious, I don't have the slightest desire to eat it again."
"Oh..."
"It's just that Kaburagi-san seemed to want me to eat it, so I asked you."
"Hahaha! Hinachi, you sound like a tsundere, you know~"
"Ah, shut up!"
Hinamori also looked panicked like an amateur criminal caught in the act.
Matsui, seeing this, laughed innocently, "Hihihi!" and poked Hinamori's cheek as she desperately tried to defend herself.
Hinamori blushed and waved her hands desperately, still trying to deny it.
(Ah~ why! Why isn't this going well~!!)
Hearing her screaming heart, I could only laugh.
"Ritsu, looks like you had a good time today."
"I guess so."
This group of people I was always with was as happy and cheerful as ever.
Feelings of envy and resentment were often expressed by those around them, but they never made a big deal out of it.
They are still able to speak honestly to each other. So everything continued to go well.
They are my classmates that I never get tired of interacting with.