Chapter 192 - 192 Nightmare

"Wei Lin. All I wants right now just to be with eternity and protect you for the whole of my life. "He kisses the back of my head.

After a few moment of silences as I was comfortable on his chest, something else pop up on my mind.

"Feng Teng, can you tell me where you went disappeared on me when I had rejected you at that time?"

He tenses below me.

"Never!" He spits the word out fast.

Fine, now I'm getting mad. As I turn myself over to lay on his front so he is forced to look me in the eyes.

"Hmm. I remember at the last time you held back on me, I left you before we could…" I winch then I put a smile on.

His eyes widen slightly, but then narrow.

He knows I've got him.

"Grhhh. I've locked myself in my office only," He speak softly.

"All for four days?"  I ask doubtfully.

"Yes, for four days," He looks past me, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Now look at me." I demand harshly.

His eyes fly to mine in obvious shock at my order.

"Eh? Excuse me?" he almost laughs.

It's patronising, and I don't appreciate it.

"What were you doing in your office?'" I ask.

Oh heck, why don't I just shut the hell up?

"Drinking and working. That's what I was doing. I was trying to drown out thoughts and images of you with wine. Happy now?" He tries to shift me from his body, but I tense from top to toe in an attempt to make myself a dead weight.

He was got drunk? Was he unconscious for four days like he was when I found him on Friday?

Oh, now I just feel incredibly guilty. I get out with him, pushing his slippery body back down into the bath. He gives in and lets me. I know he could overpower me if he wanted to, so he doesn't really want to escape. I slide my body up his so our noses meet.

He lifts his eyes.

"I'm sorry." he whispers, and I fall apart all over him, taking his mouth urgently, a silent message that I don't care.

"I'm so sorry, babe." He mutter.

"Please, don't." I push myself into him, tackling his mouth, desperate for him to know that I couldn't care less.

I feel responsible...guilty.

"When I saw those bruises on your arms, I realised I was in deep trouble. Way too deep." He say.

"Shhhh." I hush him, covering his whole face with my mouth, kissing every square inch of him.

He cups my bum and pulls me up, burying his face between my b.r.e.a.s.ts.

"It won't happen again, I'll kill myself before hurting you again." He sworn.

He doesn't have to use such strong words. I understand. He's regretful. I am too. I should never have walked away from him. I should have stayed, thrown him in a cold shower and sobered him up.

"Enough now, and forget it, okay?" I says.

"I love you. Very much," He chant softly.

"I know you do and I'm sorry too."

He releases his hold and I slide back down his body until we're eye to eye.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" He ask.

I shrug.

"If I know this would happened, I won't ever left you." I said guitltily.

"No, babe. I don't blame you for leaving on me. I know deserved that, and if anything, it will only make me more determined not to drink. Knowing I could lose you is enough of a motivation, trust me." He assured.

"Promise, I'll never walk away from you again. Never." I affirm.

He smiles lightly.

"I hope you don't because I'd be finished."

"I would be finished too." I say quietly, running my hands through his hair. I need him to know the feeling is completely mutual.

"Okay, neither of us won't walking away. That's clear." He pushes his lips to mine softly.

"Are you hungry?" I ask against his lips.

We need to change the direction of this conversation. We've said enough.

"Yes, are you going to cook me a dinner, wifey?" He ask.

I smile around his lips.

"I'm tired. Can we get take away?"

"Absolutely. You go shower, I'll order dinner." He props me up and gets out of the bath.

Tub talk today has been insightful and strangely satisfying.

But today I know he's start opening up to me and I accept it happily.

After a dinner, I curl up on the sofa under his arm. He strokes my hair as he watches some football programme.

It's obviously a passion, judging by the intensity of his concentration on the television. I snuggle and wonder what tomorrow will bring. He's already negotiated lunch with one of his mind boggling sense reminder.

Actually I could refuse, but then I would only be setting myself up for a reminder.

Would that be so bad?

I start to doze off and my semi-conscious mind homes in on his unknown activities in underworld jobs.

Is it really compulsory for me to know every little detail?

For his past, I believe him when he says I'm the only woman for him, I really do, so picking his brains on ex-lovers is not going to get me anywhere, apart from unreasonably jealous.

The thought of him with another woman makes me feel physically sick. He's a full grown man of a certain age, of which I now know he's irressistable s.e.xy and a mouthwatering one at that.

His s.e.x.u.a.l conflicts are probably plentiful, but for ex they are in the past, just like he said. Here and now is all that matters, and I am here, and I'm now.

"Come on, lady." I'm gathered up into his arms and carried upstairs to bed. I hardly stir as he strips me down and deposits me in his bed, climbing in next to me and pulling me into his hard chest.

"I love you." he whispers, and because speech has evaded me, I just snuggle closer to him.

In a middle of the night, I open my eyes and it's still dark. I'm vaguely aware of the bed vibrating under me, and I'm wet.

What the hell?

It takes me a few moments, but when awareness finally hits me, it really hits me hard. I scramble over to flick the lamp on and the light slams into my eyes like gravel. I squint to gain focus and find Feng Teng sat up in bed rocking back and forth with his knees clenched to his chest.

Holy shit, he's drenched and his pupils are huge black saucers. He looks petrified. I throw myself over to him. Should I cuddle him?

"Feng Teng?" I speak quietly, not wanting to startle him. He doesn't respond.

He just continues with the rocking, but then he starts mumbling.

"I need you."  he says quietly.

"Feng Teng?"  I place my hand on his arm and shake him gently.

He looks so scared.

"Feng Teng?" I call for him softly again.

"I need you, don't leave me, I need you. Babe, please," He repeats the mantra over and over.

When I watch his state, I want to cry.

"Feng Teng, please wake up," I plead.

"Open your eyes, I'm here. Just right infront of you baby," I can't bear to see him like this.

He's shaking uncontrollably and sweat is pouring from his brow, his frown line by far the deepest I have ever seen it.

I try to position myself in his line of sight, but he doesn't acknowledge me.

He just carries on with the rocking and mumbling, staring straight through me.

He's still asleep. I pull his legs down away from his body and climb onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his sodden back, holding him as tight as I can. I don't know if he is aware, but his arms come up and grip me, and his face buries deep into my neck.

We sit like this forever. I whisper in his ear, hoping he will recognise me and snap out of his night terror.

Is that what this is? I have no idea.

He is definitely not awake, I know that much.

"Wei Lin? Babe? "he mumbles in my neck after an age.

His voice is cracked and throaty.

He's awake.

"Shhh, I'm here. I'm going nowhere, okay?" I pull back and cup his face with both of my hands.

His eyes search mine, looking for something. I'm not sure what.

"I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" I blurt.

He's worrying me even more now.

"For everything. I know I don't deserve you, after all I'm not a man like others. I know. I'm sorry. Sorry," He falls back, taking me with him so I'm lying across his wet chest.

My body is soaking, but I don't care. My head rests on his chest and I listen as his heart rate slows.

"Feng Teng?" I call him nervously.

But he doesn't answer. I lift my head to look at him and see he's fast asleep, looking peaceful.

What was that all about? Is that mean he just had nightmare? Or dreaming talk?

I lay on him for hours, my mind racing with reasons for him to be sorry.

Bloody Hell, maybe I am reading too much into this. There's plenty for him to be sorry for.

As he lying to me, deceiving me, drink, his unreasonableness, his possessive streak, his neurotic behaviour, trampling my work meeting today, his...

I doze off, running through all of the reasons why he could be sorry.