Chapter 265 - 265 Grief

Grief turns into anger as I consider his reactions to a few kiss bites at his back. When I took a trip to SiSi van and his face when he clocked my bruised arm after my run.

Before I have a chance to declare my intentions of tracking Feng Teng down and demanding some answers, he comes barging back into the toilets in a blind panic. And I notice his eyes have cleared of the glaze as they land on me, his chest damps, his hair dark with sweat. I can feel SiSi eyes passing between us as she assesses the situation.

He starts towards me and I do not attempt to stop him from doing what I know he's going to do. He leans down, scoops me up into his arms and strides out of the toilets towards his office. He keeps his line of sight firmly forward as he walks with purpose, back through the living room under the watchful eyes of some his housekeeper, who is still floating around soaking up the spectacle. I'm aware of whispers and pointing as tears invade my eyes and start trailing down my cheeks. I'm in absolute agony, I feel sick to the stomach and my heart feels like it's been sliced straight down the centre.

He kicks the door of his office shut and walks straight to the couch, lowering himself down on a wince. My stomach turns. His arms immerse me and his head falls straight into my neck. He is silent, holding me as close as he can get me, while I try and control myself, try to prevent the shakes that are attacking my body, but it's not a battle I can win.

My beautiful man has deep issues and just when I thought I was figuring him out, I'm hit with the worst kind of wake up call. I don't know him at all and I certainly don't understand him.

"Please don't cry," His muffled voice reaches my ringing ears.

"It kills me," he says.

"Why?" I ask.

It's the only thing I can think to ask. It's all I want to know. Why would he do this to himself?

"I promised you I wouldn't have a drink," he says.

What?

He got himself sleeping with another woman rather than have a drink because he promised me he wouldn't?

Just when I thought I couldn't be more stunned.

"You wanted a drink?" I ask.

"I just wanted to block it out," he confesses.

"Look at me," I demand, but he does not attempt to lift his head from its secluded location.

"Damn it, look at me!" I wriggle to try and get a grip of his head and pull it up, but he hisses in pain and me still immediately.

"Three," I say calmly. I can't believe I'm giving him the countdown, but I don't know what else to do. I feel him tense under me, but he still doesn't look.

"Two."

"What happens if it on zero?" he asks quietly.

"I leave forever," I say calmly.

His head flies up and I whimper at the sight of him, his eyes clouded, pain spilling out of them, his chin trembling.

He gazes straight into my eyes. They are pleading silently to me.

"Please, don't," He begged.

Any ounce of strength that was keeping me marginally together is shredded at the sight and sound of him. I fall apart completely as I clasp his face in my hands and put my lips on him, but I'm not close enough. I gingerly shift so that I'm astride his lap, and then pull him as close as I can get him.

"Tell me what you were blocking out?" I ask.

"From hurting you," He says.

"What? I don't understand," I'm beyond confused.

Doesn't he think that this not going to hurting me by sleeping with another woman?

"I would rather you had a drink that!" I scowl at him.

"You wouldn't," He says it on a slight laugh that sends a nervous twinge through me.

I pull back and search his eyes out.

"I would rather face you with half an alcohol distillery inside you than see what I just saw," I say.

He drops his head in shame.

"Trust me, babe, you wouldn't," he says.

"Yes, I would," I affirm.

There is no contest.

"And trust you? Feng Teng, I feel sick with betrayal," I've not even thought about what I'm going to do to Muxin when I get my hands on her.

A trample won't cover it. She has marked my neurotic husband and the more all of it she touches him.

I lift myself from his lap and bat him away when he tries to grasp me.

"I'm not leaving," I say a bit too harshly.

His panicked expression has me even madder.

I start pacing around his office, tapping my nail on my front tooth under the tense, anxious eyes of my challenging husband, who just keeps delivering on f.u.c.k.i.n.g challenges. I'm struggling here. I lower myself to the sofa opposite him and rest my aching head in my palms. I can hear him repeatedly drawing breath as if he wants to say something. I exhale wearily and massage my temples.

I push his hands away from my thighs and get up, leaving him crouched by the sofa looking lost.

"So that's mean if you hadn't drunk the alcohol, I would've found you nailing Muxin on your desk, not just looking cosy with her on your desk? Is she your woman substitute like that?" This is horrible.

He gets up and stalks over to me, grabbing my h.i.p.s to immobilise me before bending down to get into my line of sight.

"No! Don't be so stupid," He says.

"Excuse me, I don't think I'm being stupid," I scathe.

"It's bad enough worrying about your drinking. I don't know if I can cope with the additional complications of you wanting to f.u.c.k other women if you were frustrated with me!" I'm screeching, but I can't help it.

He recoils.

"Will you watch your f.u.c.k.i.n.g mouth? It doesn't make me want to f.u.c.k other women if I don't drink when I frustrated with you. It just she was there and taking me to that," He denied.

"So I had better ensure that I'm with you when you frustrated with me and want to have a drink after then, hadn't I?" I sneer at him.

"I won't ever have a drink! When will you listen to me, lady?" he shouts.

"I don't need a drink,�� He releases me harshly and stomps off towards the window and then back again.

He points at me.

"All I need you just you!" He says.

He is scared of me leaving, but it has nothing to do with how much he loves me. But having another woman if you ever frustrated with your woman that is crazy.

"Don't manipulate me!" I yell at him.

"I don't manipulate you!" He looks offended.

"Yes, you do! With all your love words. Sense f.u.c.k.i.n.g, reminder f.u.c.k.i.n.g. It's all manipulation. When I need you and you use it against me!" I scream at him.

"No!" he roars, and then swipes his arms straight across the top of the drinks cabinet, sending dozens of liquor bottles and glasses crashing to the floor, the sound of broken glass thundering around us.

I jump, stepping back, but he stalks forward and grabs the tops of my arms.

"I need you to need me, babe. It doesn't get any simpler than that. How many times have I got to tell you? As long as you need me, I look after myself...that simple," he says.

"How? Is likely having yourself sleeping with another woman while your wife needed for you, is mean looking after yourself?" I scream in his face.

He drops me and grabs at his hair, virtually pulling it out.

"I don't f.u.c.k.i.n.g know!" He growls.

I look to the heavens above. This is hopeless.

"Hey, I do need you, but not like this," I say briefly.

He takes my hands.

"Look at me," he demands harshly.

I drop my head back down so we're at eye level again.

"Tell me, how do I make you feel? I know how you make me feel. Yes, I've got laid a lot in past, but it was all just mean nothing. No feelings. But, now all I need is my wife and only you all I need," He says.

I look at my handsome, troubled, madness rogue, looking me straight in the eyes and I want to scream at him, bang his head against a wall and knock some sense into him the conventional way.

We make each other crazy. That's the truth of it. We're no good for each other, and he does manipulate me as always. The problem is, I enjoy it. I need him, just as much as he needs me, but for different reasons. He's made himself a part of me. He's embedded himself into my mind and soul.

Without him, I feel like nothing. I am nothing.

"How can you need me if I make you come to this point?" I ask tiredly.

"By having another woman. When I've made you need alcohol, you have another woman to get over it. I think I've made you into an unreasonable, crazy man, and I'm certainly not stable anymore. Don't you see what we're doing to each other?" I say.

"Wei Lin," His tone is a warning.

He knows where I'm heading.

"And for the record, I hate the fact that you've put it about?" I need him to know this, but then the most horrific thought slams into my head.

I gasp.

"When you disappeared for a few days before...then…you must slee….." I can't even finish.

My heart has just jumped into my throat and exploded.

His eyes widen at my obvious conclusion, his mouth tightening, the muscles in his jaw ticking.

"NO! They meant nothing. I love you and I only need you," he persuades me.

"Oh, God!" I fall to my knees.