Chapter 295 - 295 My Right of Decision

I yank myself free and proceed to thump his chest with both fists in a frenzied lash out of anger. And he lets me do it. He just stands there and takes my deranged beating, my fists persistently striking him as I scream and wail.

When I think I might collapse with exhaustion, I step back and lose control of my tears.

"Why?!" I shout at him.

He doesn't try to touch me or come towards me. He just remains standing in the doorway, still with no emotion on his face.

His frown line isn't even there, but I know he must be concerned, and he must be concentrating on not restraining his deranged wife.

"I know that you keep avoided those issues. So I got no choice to take it away from you," His voice got soft and evenly.

"I knew already. Can you tell me why the f**k did you do it? For what??" I shout at him.

His frown and nibbled lip.

And I don't know why he's thinking so hard about this. I know he wants a child, and I know too the reason why wanted it badly.

"Babe. You always make me crazy," He shakes his head.

"So it's my fault, then?" I scream.

"My medicine started missing after a day I got it. I always thought that I'm the clumsy one who keeps lost it until I saw it in your bin last week. So that's how I got knew it was you all along but not until last week." I tell him because he did.

He broke me down, his determination is impossible to escape.

"I'm sorry," His eyes drop to the floor.

Oh no!

He will look at me, not looking away from me. So I steam back into his chest and grab his jaw, forcing him to look up at me.

"But still you don't get to avoid giving me your reasons for this. As you've always taken it upon yourself to dictate my life direction. And you know that I don't want a baby at this moment yet! My body still belongs to me even though we already married. So you don't get to make these decisions without my will," My voice is breaking through my screams.

"Can't you just tell me why you did this?!" I try to be reasonable with him.

"It's because I wanted to keep you forever," he whispers.

I drop my jaw and step back.

"By imprisoning my life decision? Like that?" I scowl at his statement.

"Yes," His eyes drop again.

"So though I'd run away even after I found out about your underlying world and mafia things like that? Or there is still more unimaginable things that you still keep hiding from me?" I ask.

"Yes." He refuses to look at me.

"But I here, still here beside but yet you still took away my medicine?" I counter him.

"There's still a lot of things that you don't know about my historical past. And I'm afraid you will still leave me one day if you can't accept it," He admitted weakly.

"But hubby, I do now. And we already married, so how would I leave you?" I will be reasonable with him.

"I know, babe. I know babe. But still, we don't what would be laid in future and you might give up for me. I was a really bad man in the past." He says.

"Just stop saying that you know my decision!" My arms wave around in front of him.

So I start losing control again.

His eyes lifted, but they don't meet mine. They're darting around the room, looking at anything but me.

He's ashamed.

"What do you want me to say to not make you angry?" he asks quietly.

And I don't even know what and how. Right, I was so rigid and so mad.

Crazy F**King mad!

All my reasonable messed up!

So I turn and head for the closet room. Today was my first day officially become his Madam, but now I'm walking out on him, but I have no clue of what else to do.

I grab my pants and yank them on.

"Babe. Where are you going?" His voice is full of the fear I knew it would be.

He'll never cope with this, but neither will I if I stay.

This of his confession has suddenly hit me very hard. So I don't answer him, instead, I focusing on getting my bra and t-shirt on before I yank down an overnight bag.

"Where the hell are you doing?" He snatched the bag from my hand.

"NO. I'm not allowed you to leave. Never! You're not leaving me. You have promised me," His words are somewhere between a demand and a plea.

"Just give me a bit of time, please. I need some space." I seize the bag back and start stuffing my clothes in.

"What space? A space for what?" He grips my arm, but I pull myself free.

"Leaving me? Is it? No way! No way! I let it!" He yells franticly.

"Stop with your thought. I only need my space." My clothes are being yanked and rammed into my bag viciously, but I fear I might turn on his beast again and if I don't focus on this, and I can't bring myself to look at him.

And I know what I'll see. But not a day after our wedding.

Fear.

"Please, babe. Don't go. I'm sorry. I beg you don't leave me," He begged.

I turn and storm past him, heading for the bathroom to collect my toiletries.

He's not restraining me, and I know why.

It's the same reason he's been delicate with me for weeks. Because he thinks he'll hurt his baby.

He's behind me, I know he is, but I continue gathering my things, fighting the overwhelming need to lash out, but at the same time, fighting the need to comfort him.

But I'm so confused.

"Wei Lin, please, let's talk about this." He stops me.

I swing around in shock.

"Talk what?" I yell at him.

He nods sheepishly.

"Please." He begs.

"What else to talk about? As you've decided the most behind thing possible. Now I really can't be reasonable and all your words can make me understand all of this control of yours. Even though you are my husband still you got no right to make decisions for me. You don't control me to this extent. This is my life! I have my right to decide it," I state clearly.

"But babe you knew that I was taking them as you have allowed it," He counters.

"Yes, I did let you! But not this extends and perhaps because of all the other shit you've thrown on me since I've met you, I didn't consider how f**ked up for this is. This is completely messed up, and you've got no redeeming reason. Marrying me by wanting to keep me imprison beside all the time isn't good enough. That's not a decision you get to make on your own!" I try to calm myself, but I'm fighting a real losing battle.

"Even we are made a vow. Still, have you consider what I want? What about me? My decision?" I scream in his face.

"Babe but I love you. Much more than you could imagine," He says.

The grip on my bag tightens until my fingers are numb. I'm seriously losing my reason. So I walk past him and quickly make my way downstairs.

"Wei Lin!" He calls.

I ignore him and keep going. My anger has bubbling inside me has shocked me as much as it's shocked to him.

This is past controlling. This is unforgivable.

And I don't want to have a baby yet. I'm not ready to be a mother yet.

Seriously not now!

"Babe, please stay. I promise I'll do anything. I won't decide about your life anymore. Please, stay," His heavy footsteps are close behind me, but he's wearing nothing yet, and as much as I know that he has got no shame, I know he wouldn't run out in public completely n.a.k.e.d.

When I reach the door, I turn to face him.

"Really? You'll do anything?" I ask back.

"Yes. Yes. You know that you always got my words," He's terrified face nearly makes me throw my arms around his big shoulders.

Even now, when he's confessed for throwing my medicine, to be true I'm struggling not to fall into his arms.

But if I let this going soft on him, then I'm setting myself up for a lifetime to have him manipulating everything in my life. I can't let that happen.

So we need some time apart.

For situation right now is too intense, and perhaps I should have thought about that before I married him, but it's too late now to go back.

Then I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.

Gosh! I'm in a mess.

Suddenly, I feel like I'm a loser for not thinking about the mass and consequences for making a decision without any long thoughtful.

I wonder if my decision of marrying him, is right or not?

Since yesterday during our wedding, everything comes too difficult and hard. 

And now all terrible messed up! 

"Hmm....Then you should give me some space. I will come back after, please. I'm sorry, I can't stay at the moment," I said.

I walk out.

"Wei Lin. Please, don't go. Stay," He shouts out in plead and fall into his knees.

I heard he plead behind me but even I didn't look back at him, I know he is in a devastating state.

But hubby, I'm sorry. 

We really need a space a bit.

Let figure out some more.