Chapter 314 - 314 Need Him

"Muxin, he really think you as his friend," I can't believe I'm trying to make this enemy feel better after everything she's done to me.

"Yes, he really does," She really laughs this time, but then she frowns and returns to stirring her coffee.

"After what you did, and seeing how he reacted to that, it made me realise how stupid I'd been. He deserves happiness. He deserves you. You love him despite of his dark work, what he did, and his problem after consumed the alcohol. You love him in his entirety." She smiles.

"You've made him feel right. I should never have tried to take that away from him." She regret.

Then, I'm sitting in a stunned silence, just staring at her, with not a clue of what to say in response.

What do I say to that then?"

"You want your job back. That's why you told me this," I ask.

Her eyes widen.

"I don't think that can happen, you know how Feng Teng is," She says.

No, it couldn't. Though her confessions was honest, still I would never trust her or even like her. I can feel a little sorry for her, but I will never ever invite her back into our lives.

Even I've never asked Feng Teng what happened when he fired her. He made it clear it wasn't up for discussion and being delighted that she was out of the picture, I didn't push it.

But now, more than ever, I really want to know what happened during that conversation.

"You must have seen him with his past ex-girlfriend. But why you target me?" I ask, although I already know the answer to that question.

"You were different, that was obvious. Feng Teng doesn't pursue women. And he doesn't take women back to his home. And he doesn't stop swallow the vodka. You've changed that him. You've done what many ex-girlfriend of his have tried and failed to do for many years, Wi Lin. You've won The Master of this S city," She stands up.

"So congratulations, Madam Feng. Take care of him. Make him happy and he deserves a very happy family life," She said.

Then she leaves.

As I watch her back disappear out of the café. I feel tearful again. So I've won The Master of this city and I've changed him. And I've made him stop drinking and changing his girlfriend over and over again? And I've made him feel and love. And he does really love me.

He loves me really hard, and I love him really hard, too. Now I need to see him and I really need to see him.

Damn that Miss Yi and her demanding arse.

I jump up and race to the car park to collect my present, calling SiSi on the way.

"What did she say?" she screeches down the phone before it's even rung.

"Apologised." I'm a little breathless.

"Anyway, I'm keeping the baby." I tell her.

She laughs at me.

"Of course you are, you stupid cow." She laugh.

I smile as I run towards the car park, keen to get my appointment with Miss Yi out of the way so I can get to my husband faster.

"Wei Lin," Her smiley face almost irritates me.

"Hi, Miss Yi," I practically push past her into the shell of a kitchen, doing a quick analyse.

Everything looks like it's on track.

Nothing is jumping out as being a problem.

"Sorry, I can't stay long, here. I have another meeting." I turn to face her.

"Oh? Coffee?" She looks hopeful.

"No, really. What's the problem?" I ask, trying to prompt her along, but she doesn't look like she's in a hurry as she meanders over to a makeshift table and starts faffing with a mug.

"I'll just make myself one, and we can go sit in the lounge where it's less dusty."

I screw my face up in frustration.

"I'm sorry, I double booked, Miss Yi. Can we re-arrange?" I'm feeling panicky.

"Oh. It won't take long." She carries on about her slow business, while I shift impatiently behind her. You would think she was doing this on purpose.

"Did you have a good weekend with your parents?" she ask.

The question throws me, but I quickly engage my brain before I drop myself in it.

"Oh, yes, thank you." I says.

"Are you sure you don't want a coffee?" She lazily strolls over to the fridge to get the milk.

"No, honestly." I can't help the irritation in my tone.

"It's funny. I was sure that I saw you on Friday evening," she says casually.

"In a bar. What's it called?" She pours the milk leisurely and stirs even slower.

Oh? Shit!

"Yes, I joined a few work friends. Nothing much. I left Saturday morning to visit my parents." My fingers are twisting wildly in my hair. Why am I even lying to her? What I do and when I do it is none of her business.

She turns with a smile, but then her eyes fall on my left hand and there is no mistaking the eye bulge.

I look at my diamond adorned ring finger and suddenly feel uneasy.

"You've never said you were married." she laughs.

"I feel so stupid! There's me, telling you to steer clear of all men, and all along you were married!" She actually starts blushing, and a horrible realisation kicks in.

Gosh! She's love girl?

Oh no! Oh f**king hell! That would explain it, all of the invitations to drinks, the persistent calling and meetings, and now her eyes bulging at my rings.

She fancies me. Now I really do feel uncomfortable.

"Wait there." She frowns.

"I remember you saying you had a boyfriend," Her frown deepens.

"And you didn't have any rings on last week." She add.

I shift on my heels.

"I only recently got married." I'm not going into this.

"My rings were being re-sized." I can't look at her.

Yes. She's attractive, but not like that.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" She sounds offended.

Why didn't I say? Lots of reasons!

"It was a low-key affair. Just family and closest friend know," I said.

Would she have expected an invite, or would she have tried to stop me?

All this talk is making me want to get to my husband even more.

Should I tell her that I'm pregnant too?

By, the look on her face, it would probably finish her off. She looks hurt. 'Ruth, I really must ask what you wanted to discuss so I can remedy it and get going.

"I'm sorry to do this." I says.

She makes an obviously bad job of hiding her alarm and giving me a fake smile.

"No, you go. It can be wait." She say ask she know what I refer to.

I'm relieved but shocked.

Maybe this was the best thing that could've happened.

Will she ease off on the persistent offers of drinks and meetings? I can't believe I didn't see this before.

A woman who looks like this without loving man? I don't dwell on it for long, though. I'm itching to escape, and not just because I have a female admirer.

"Thank you, Miss Yi. We'll re-arrange next time," I don't hang around.

I exit hastily and wave my arm over my shoulder as I do. I'm such a fool.

I run down the path and jump into my shiny new car, nearly breaking down in tears when My love hits my eardrums.

I frantically stab at the button on the intercom, but after a few agonising minutes, the gates still aren't opening, so I dive into my bag and retrieve my phone to dial him.

It rings once.

"Wifey?" He answer.

"The gates won't open!" I sound distressed and crazy, but I'm going out of my mind with the need to see him now.

"Hey, calm down." He sounds equally anxious.

"Where are you?" He ask.

"I'm at the gates! I've been pressing the button, but no one's opening them!"

"Babe, stop it. You're worrying me."

"I want you now,"I sob, finally giving in to the overwhelming guilt that's been looming deep inside of me for days.

"Hubby, I want you." I beg.

I can hear his labour breathing down the phone.

He's running.

"Pull down the sun visor, wifey," He orders. 

I look up through my tears and yank down the white leather, finding two small black devices. And I don't wait for his instruction. I press them both and the gates start to swing open. I throw my phone on the passenger seat and bang my foot down on the accelerator, immediately zooming forward. I'm crying hard now, painful, aching, heavy tears as I weave up the tree lined driveway in a blur until I see his car come speeding from the other direction.

So I slam my brakes on and jump out, running at full pelt toward him.

He looks absolutely terrified as he flies from his car, leaving the door open, and sprints towards his crazy, hysterical wife. But I can't help it, I'm freaking him out, but this sudden clarity has sent me into a panic attack. And I've lost control of my emotions.

The cold hearted bitch I've been is suddenly melting and letting me see things clearly.

Our bodies' crash together, and I'm immediately engulfed by him, every hard muscle pushed up against me as I'm lifted and held tight to his body. I sob relentlessly into his neck as he paces around the driveway just holding me. I'm so stupid. I'm such a stupid, selfish, heartless cow.

"Oh, God, Bae," he pants into my neck.

"I'm sorry." I still sound frantic, even though I feel a million times better for being in his arms.

"What's happened?" He ask.

"Nothing. I just wanted to see you suddenly," I grip him tighter as I can't get him close enough.

"F.u.c.k.i.n.g hell! Please, explain my babe," He tries to release me, but I firm up my already iron hold, refusing to let him put me down.

"Wifey?" He call up.

"Can we go home? I ask.

"No! Not until you tell me why the f**k you're in such a state." he shouts, battling with my clutching arms.

Yes, I'm no match for him. He soon detaches me from his body and stands me in front of him, scanning every square inch of my figure as he holds the tops of my arms.

"What's going on?" He repeat loudly.

"I'm pregnant." I sob.

"I lied to you. I'm sorry." I confessed quietly.

He physically starts twitching and drops me, stepping back, his eyes wide, his frown line deep.

"What?" He ask in a very high tone.

I brush my rolling tears away and drop my eyes to the floor and I feel so ashamed of myself.

He's not a saint, but while he was trying to make life, I was thinking about destroying that saint of him.

That really is unforgivable, not that I could ever tell him what I was thinking.

"You make me so mad at that time," I whisper pitifully.

"You make me mad and then you make me so happy. I didn't know what to do." It's a feeble and pathetic excuse.

When a few silent, awkward moments have past, and he still hasn't spoken, I chance a glance at him.

He looks in total shock.

"Oh for Goodness sake. Babe are you trying to get me sectioned?" His hands delve into his hair, and he looks up to the sky.

"Are you f**king with my mind because I really don't need this, my dear. I've just got my head around you not pregnant, and now you are?" He re-confirm.

"I always have been." I says softly.

His head drops and so do his hands. They just dangle by his sides as he studies me closely, a disbelieving look on his face.

"When were you planning going to tell me? He ask.

"When I accepted it." I don't even think I'm lying, and my lack of need to try and restrain my natural reflex is telling me so.

Maybe I was trying to make the most of dominant of him before he starts treating me like glass again. And I don't even know when. I've been so stupid in past fee week.

"So we're going to be a parent?" He barely whispers the words, and I nod my confirmation.

And I can't talk.

His eyes fall from mine to my stomach and linger for a while, and then I see a tear trickle down his cheek. It enflames the guilt further, but when he drops to his knees, I lose complete control of my own weeping. So I'm just standing and crying, watching his slumped body silently shedding tears in front of me.

I really have f**ked with his head, as if he needs it where I'm concerned.

My natural response to my beautiful, neurotic man's reaction is to walk straight to him and join him on the floor. My arms creep over his shoulders and hold him tight to me as he sobs into my neck, his hands drifting all over my back, like he's checking that I'm really here.

"I'm so sorry." I say quietly.

He doesn't say anything. He stands and lifts me with him before taking me to his car and place me in the passenger seat, remaining silent as he buckles me in. Taking his phone from the inside pocket of his suit jacket, he shuts the door before walking off and making a call while he moves my new car to the side of the driveway.

He returns and puts my bag between my feet before driving us home in complete silence.

He still hasn't said a word by the time we pull up at Deng Tai Residence.

He gets out and collects me, walking me straight past a cautious looking Mi Ke and putting me in the penthouse elevator.

Then I glance up at him, but he's keeping his gaze pointed forward, not even meeting my eyes when I look at him in the reflection of the doors.

When he opens the door into the penthouse, Auntie Ling appears from the kitchen, her happy smile dropping away as soon as she notices her cheerfulness isn't being reciprocated.

"Is everything okay?" She assesses us both, then looks to Feng Teng for an answer, but he just hands me my bag and nods towards the stairs.

So I look at him, silently begging for some words.

He doesn't indulge me. He nods again.

"Feng Feng?" Auntie Ling prompts warily.

"Everything is fine. Just Wei Lin not feeling too well." He lightly pushes into my back with his hand, urging me forward.

"Are you not coming?" I ask.

"I'll be up in a minute. Go." He reinforces his words with a firmer push of his hand, and I leave him with Auntie Ling.

As I'm passing Auntie Ling, she reaches out and gently strokes my shoulder, giving me a small smile.

"I'm glad you're home, Wei Lin," She says.

I return her smile.

It's a feeble smile. I feel uncertain and a little concerned by my husband despondent state.

"Thank you." I make my way upstairs, entering the master-suite and settling on the end of the bed.

Not knowing what to do, I kick my shoes off and shuffle myself up the bed a little more.

My eyes are brimming with tears again as I clutch my knees to my chest and wait for him. I know that right now is when we'll talk about this, now we have both acknowledged what is happening but in order to have a talk, both of us need to be speaking.

But Feng Teng doesn't look like he plans on saying anything. So I have no idea what is going through that crazy mind of his and the strained atmosphere is pushing doubts back into me. Now I need reassurance, not silence, not time to talk my way back out of this.

My head snaps up when he enters the bedroom, but he doesn't look at me.

Instead, he goes straight to the bathroom. I hear the waterfall tap of the bath start pouring and the faffing of his movements as he follows through on his usual bath time routine, collecting everything he'll need and placing it within reach.

We're having a bath?

After way too long of me just sitting on the bed, listening to the water running and his quiet treatment so cold, he eventually walks soundlessly into the bedroom and approaches me without a word.

Taking my hand and pulling me up from the bed, he strips me down, removes my diamond and my brand new, from him which I haven't even thanked him, before picking me up and carrying me into the bathroom.

He lowers me gently into the bath.

"Is the water okay?" he asks softly, releasing me and kneeling by the side of the tub.

"Yeah. Good," I answer, watching as he removes his suit jacket and unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt before pushing them up his arms.

He collects the sponge and dips, then squeezes some soap on it and turns me away from him. He starts gliding it across my back in gentle, steady strokes.

I'm a little confused.

"Aren't you getting in?" I ask quietly.

I want him to lay behind me so I can feel him, take comfort in him. I need that.

"Let me look after you." His voice is low and unsure.

That's tone of him, I don't like to hear it much. Then I turn myself around to face him, finding glazed green eyes and a stoic expression.

It pulls the string at my heart. I've really f**ked with his mind this time.

"I wants you closer than this." I reach up with my wet hand and lay my palm on his cheek.

"Please," I plead.

He watches me carefully for a few moments, like he's deciding whether he should, but he eventually sighs and drops the sponge, before he stands and slowly removes his clothes.

Stepping in behind me, he lowers himself to cocoon me completely and I feel immediately better with his warm hardness cradling me, but I can't see him, so I turn over and sit on his lap, encouraging his knees up so I can lean back and look at him.

I take his hands and interlace our fingers, and we both watch in silence as we play with each other's hands, our tangled fingers glimmering now and then when our rings catch the reflections of the water.

It's not a difficult silence anymore.

"Why did you lie to me, Wei Lin?" he whispers, still watching our snaking fingers working together.

My movements falter for a few moments but don't stop completely.

It's a question that I predicted and it's one that needs answering.

"I was scared. I'm still scared." It's nothing but the truth, and he needs to hear it.

He needs to know that this whole situation terrifies me.

"Of me," he says simply.

"You're scared of me." He doesn't elaborate, and he doesn't need to.

I know what he means, and he knows that, too.

"I'm scared of how you'll be." I tells.

"You mean more crazy." he confirms, keeping his eyes on out entwined fingers.

"It wasn't even definite and you were treating me like a priceless object." I admit to him.

He exhales softly and takes both of our hands to his chest, resting them over his heart, but he still doesn't look at me.

"You also think that I might love our child more than you?" He asked.

The words make me go rigid. 

They're the words I have refused to acknowledge every time they've whirled around in my head. I am worried that he'll love our child more than me.

Selfishly, yes, it frightens me to death.

The unreasonable thought has been lingering there somewhere, I'll admit it to myself now. I've not long had his love, and I'm blessed to have it.

Who wouldn't want to be loved so powerfully, so passionately? I'm not ready to share him, not with anyone, not even a part of us.

"Would you?" I ask quietly.

And I'm not sure how he'll answer.

All I've got to go on is how desperate he is for a baby. His eyes lift slowly, revealing a sadness I've never seen before. Or it could be disappointment. I'm not sure.

"Do you feel that?" He flattens my palms on his chest and holds them there firmly.

"It was made to love you only. For too long it was useless, redundant, not required. Now it's gone into overdrive. It swells with happiness when I look at you. It splinters with pain when we fight. And it beats wildly when I make love to you. Maybe I go overboard with my love, but that's never going to change. I'll love you this fiercely until the day I die, my dear. Children or not, I will always love you," He said.

I'm crippled more than ever before. It really isn't possible for me to love this man more.

"But I never want to be without your fierce love." I tell him.

He reaches up and slides his hand around the base of my neck, pulling me down so our foreheads meet.

"You won't be. I'll never stop loving you hard. It'll only get harder because every day that passes we create more memories. Memories I'll treasure, not memories I want to forget. My mind is being filled with beautiful images of us, and they are replacing a history that lingers. They're chasing away my past, my wife. I need them. I need you in it only," he says.

"You have me now," I breathe, shifting my hands up to his shoulders.

"Don't ever leave me again." He kisses me gently.

"It hurt so badly." He said.