Chapter 191: Salmon Head’s Advice Part 1

Originally we were going to go and defeat the ‘Barnacle’ as we were, but the sudden item we managed to obtain worked almost like an event flag and as a result we were forced to change our plans. As such, we found another vacant house that were going to use as our safe house for the nearest future, and where we would like to relocate Emul, Alva and Straude.

「Mold…… You idiot…… You stupid idiot……!」

「That’s why I said I was sorry……!

「Uwah, talk about amazing in the wrong sense of the word. We have three Seafood Emperors here. I wonder if they fused together we would get something alongside the lines of Ultimate Seafood Emperor? Ultimate Seafood Buffet?

「Seafood Emperor? What is that?」

This whole situation started in a rather slapstick kind of a way. While we were on our way back to the base, Mold happened to slip and fall to the ground, gathering the attention of the surrounding fish people. It may have been just a case of a really bad RNG on our hand, but the number of fish people was so big that that noise they were making gathered the attention of other fish people in the vicinity…… At this rate it would be just a matter of time before they would discover our base and the NPC inside of it. To make matters even worse, there were three Rare Monsters thrown into the mix, making this a complete Monster Parade unlike I have ever seen before.

「Not to I want to be a pessimist, but I don’t want to draw such a huge crowd near our base if I can help it……」

「I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry…… Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! That hurts!」

「Idiot, idiot, idiot! STUPID, STUPID IDIOT!」

Thinking about it, the place we are in the vicinity of is the place that is also my respawn point. So even if I happened to die here, there would no real consequences to it, right?

「Alright, I’m going to divert their attention a little bit.」

「Huh?」

「I will try to lure them away from you, die as a result and come back to life in a respawn point. In the meantime, you go on ahead.」

「I see. Alright, I understand.」

「No, really, I mean, I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble. I know we have enough of those on our plates already……」

「Don’t worry, don’t worry. As long as you understand, that’s fine with me.」

Looking objectively at our current situation, it is only natural that one of use players will need to sacrifice him or herself so that the others can flee to safety. I mean, it’s not that death is permanent in this game, so it should only come as natural.

「It’s also a real bother to wear your weapons out for something as stupid as this, so I might as well fight with my bare hands. Oi, you stupid rotten sardines! Come here! This way! I’m here!」

It appears that the Great Underwater City Lulilas Marathon Run was far from being over for me.

However, my glorious and simple plan of making a few rounds around the underwater city’s outer rim has gone to hell in an instant. An instant during which I saw something really slippery emerging from behind the corner of one of the houses.

「Y, you are……!?」

That appearance. That face.

There was a really uncomfortable impulse swirling through my chest at that single moment. Before I was able to notice, I ready my weapons and charge in, closing the distance in between us in a blink of an eye.

This guy in front of me and a whole school of rotten fish behind my back. I have put myself in between a rock and a hard place, but right about now I could not allow myself to leave this place.

There is something I must absolutely do. I must defeat that guy right here, right now, no matter the consequences or the sacrifice.

This does not look too god. Rust and Mold, I wonder if it is not too late to go back to where they went…… No! I must stop thinking like that! If I think like that, it’s as though I have already given up without even putting up a decent fight!

「Uuuooohhhhhh!!!」

Sometimes in life, a man comes across a fight that he simply cannot allow himself to back away from!

「…… Too slow!」

「Did you happen to get in some sort of trouble on your way…… Ah, you have come back……!?」

It took me a while to die because of the way the fish people decided to deal with me. Basically I was turned in to a food supply for the fish people, and they took their sweet time devouring me. And since I was never before eaten alive, it was a new experience to be had for sure. Not that I want to repeat that anytime soon.

「What in the everlasting fuck hap…… Uoooh!?」

「S, Sanraku-san……」

Oi, OI! Alva, lower that sword! Don’t point that fucking thing at me! And you, Emul! Stay! STAY, I SAID!

Isn’t that just a terrible thing to do? Look at the person’s face and react in a way like that? I know that it looks just like it looks, but what do you want me to say to it? I’m as confused as you are, if not even more.

「………」

I get up from the bed I was laying on after I finally managed to respawn and stand up with my own two legs firmly.

When I did that, the people around me took a huge step back in reaction. Once I have seen that, that was all the confirmation I needed, but…… I still ended up taking a deep breath, just to be absolutely sure.

…… Gosh, it stinks so bad. Just like a fish would.

「I am Tuna Underbelly Fairy.」

「Bufuah!!」

「Nkuhfuh!」

I guess it should only be considered as natural, seeing that I was wearing salmon on my head.

~ PLEASE STAND BY UNTIL THE APPARENT CONFUSION SUBSIDES ~

「Salmon…… It’s a freaking salmon…… So what’s with the tuna reference……? Nfuuh, nfufufufufuh……!!!」

「What do we do, Rust? It seems that now Mold broke down as well.」

「Mold in general has a pretty low threshold when it comes to laughing. Once he hears a joke, he can remember it and laugh because of it for the next three to four days.」

No matter how you may look at it, laughter boiling point is too damn low for this guy. I mean, he acts like he’s on helium right now or something else like that. I know that my appearance is the reason for that, but…… You know……

「The hell, is this?」

「This thing here? ‘Richman King Salmon Head Shiramen’. It’s your typical item, but you can also equip it…… Well, think of it as an equipment piece.」

「And what exactly is the effect of this item?」

「It smells fishy.」

「……!!! ……!!!」

Mold fell onto the floor and started acting as if his sides were about to fall off from laughing too much. I have decided to ignore him for now and I turned towards others in order to confront with them.

「Come here, Emul. We’ll try to put it on your head next.」

「A, absolutely not! It looks like a fish! It smells like a fish! And see!? There’s even a fragment of fish spine coming out of it! And have you seen its eyes! Dead like…… like that of a dead fish! It’s too scary! I’m not wearing that!」

「The real kicker is that you can see perfectly while wearing this on your head.」