Chapter 65: Not letting go

Life was recently getting better for Jesse.

She had finally found a place where she could be with herself after being in that damned household for a long time.

Though the process of reaching this place was not all that easy, she was somehow able to do it in the end.

'And it is all thanks to Lucavion.'

Jesse moved slowly around the tent, her fingers lightly brushing against the objects that bore traces of Lucavion. His belongings were simple, but they held a warmth that made her feel safe, a stark contrast to the cold and unfeeling atmosphere of her family's estate.

The tent wasn't just a temporary shelter; it had become a sanctuary, a place where she could let down her guard and simply exist.

As she touched the edge of his bedroll, she smiled softly. Lucavion's scent lingered, a mix of earth and faint traces of metal from his weaponry. It was a scent that had come to represent stability and protection in her life, something she had craved for so long. Jesse could still remember the moment she had first stepped into this tent, exhausted and on the brink of giving up.

It felt like a lifetime ago.

She knelt beside the small chest where he kept his personal effects, running her hand over its rough surface. Everything here was a reminder of him—his strength, his resilience, and the kindness he had shown her when she needed it the most.

A kindness she had never known before. Her thoughts drifted back to that first day on the battlefield, when she had arrived broken and hopeless, ready to welcome death as a release from the pain that had consumed her life.

That day, she had been nothing more than a shell of a person, barely able to stand under the weight of her despair. She had been sent to the front lines by her own family, cast aside like trash, and she had believed with every fiber of her being that she was worthless.

Her self-esteem had been shattered, ground to dust by years of neglect and scorn. The hatred she felt for the world—and for herself—was all-consuming.

But then, she met Lucavion.

She closed her eyes and let the memories flow, recalling the words he had spoken to her when she had been at her lowest. His voice had been calm, steady, and firm, cutting through the haze of her despair with an almost painful clarity.

"You are not defined by what others think of you, Jesse. You are not weak just because they say you are. Strength is something you build, not something you're born with.

The battlefield doesn't care about your bloodline or your past. Out here, what matters is your will to survive and keep fighting.

My master had once said something like this.

The strength…..It is always within you, whether you believe it or not. In the end, it always ends like this. Either you get your life together, or you end up disappearing like dust in the pages of history.

So, I am going to say it once. Either you use your own strength to take your fate onto your own hands, or you will be forgotten until you die."

Those words had struck something deep within her, something she hadn't even realized was still alive. A spark of hope buried under layers of fear and self-loathing.

Lucavion had seen in her what she could not see in herself—a potential for strength, for survival. He had given her something to hold onto when she had nothing left.

That was why she felt this calm.

And was it why, whenever she was close to him, she would want to feel his warmth? It was not too much to ask, was it?

Jesse hesitated for a moment, then slowly lowered herself onto Lucavion's bed. The rough fabric was cool against her skin, and she could feel the lingering warmth of where he had been earlier.

Closing her eyes, she buried her face into the bedroll, inhaling deeply. His scent was there, faint but unmistakable—a mix of the earth, the faint tang of metal, and something uniquely him. It was comforting, grounding her in a way that nothing else could.

She knew it was kind of creepy, this strange attachment she had developed. But it wasn't like there weren't other creeps out there doing far worse. Besides, Lucavion's scent was a lot better than the stench of the other soldiers—most of whom didn't bother with cleanliness after long days of fighting.

At least Lucavion always took care of himself and, by extension, made the space around him feel a little more bearable in this harsh environment.

As she lay there, she felt a calm settle over her, something she only ever felt in his presence. It was a serenity she had come to crave, something that helped her hold onto the last vestiges of hope and strength she had.

'I can give you anything you want, for you who saved me from the depths of hell,' she thought, her heart swelling with gratitude. She wasn't sure where these feelings would lead, but she knew one thing for certain: she would do anything to protect what they had.

But then, suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching outside. Her heart jumped, and she immediately lifted her head, her senses sharpening. The sound was unmistakable—multiple people were heading toward the tent.

Panic set in. What if they caught her like this? What would they think? She quickly scrambled off the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles she had made in the bedroll and brushing her hair back into place.

Standing up straight, she tried to calm her racing heart, forcing herself to adopt a composed demeanor.

Just as she finished adjusting herself, the flap of the tent was pushed aside, and several figures entered. Her breath hitched as she did not recognize any of the people there. But as she looked at the badges around their uniforms, she realized who they were.

'Colonels and a general!'

She realized that she was now in the presence of a general.

The tension in the air was palpable as the colonels and the general stepped inside the tent, their eyes immediately locking onto her. She could feel their scrutiny, the weight of their authority pressing down on her as they took in the sight of her standing alone in the tent. Her breath hitched, and for a brief moment, she feared they could hear the rapid beating of her heart.

One of the colonels, a stern-faced man with a chiseled jaw and piercing eyes, took a step forward. His gaze was sharp, cutting through her composure like a blade. "Where is Soldier Lucavion?" he asked, his voice commanding and laced with suspicion. "And what are you doing in his tent?"

She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady. "Colonel, Lucavion was called by Colonel Morgan," she explained, her tone respectful but edged with the nervousness she couldn't quite suppress. "I was waiting for him to return."

The colonels exchanged quick, silent glances, their expressions unreadable. The general, an imposing figure with silver hair and a grave demeanor, remained silent, his eyes fixed on her, assessing.

Sensing the unease in the air, she hesitated before asking, "Did… did something happen to Lucavion?"

The stern-faced colonel's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing slightly. "He is under suspicion," he began, his voice low but firm, "of committing a serious crime."

Her heart dropped at the words, her mind racing to comprehend the situation. "Suspicion? What kind of crime?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, fear creeping into her tone despite her best efforts to remain calm.

The colonel's gaze didn't waver as he responded, "Murder and deserting. Lucavion is suspected of killing Rykard, one of the guards stationed at the border, while escaping from the army. He is believed to be far more dangerous than we initially thought."

She felt a cold wave of shock wash over her, her legs nearly giving out beneath her. Lucavion? Murder, Deserter? It didn't make sense. He was a skilled soldier, yes, but… a killer?

And he left? Escaped from the battlefield?

"Colonel," she stammered, trying to regain her composure, "there must be some mistake. Lucavion… he wouldn't…"

The colonel cut her off, his tone unyielding. "The evidence points to him, and we cannot ignore that. We've been informed that he might be hiding his true strength, and given the circumstances, it's imperative we locate him immediately."

Jesse stood frozen, the world around her narrowing to the words echoing in her mind—murder, deserting, escaping from the battlefield. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the tent, leaving her in a suffocating silence, her thoughts a whirlwind of disbelief and confusion.

The colonel's voice continued, asking her questions—where Lucavion might have gone, if he had said anything unusual, if she had noticed any changes in his behavior. But the words barely registered in her mind. All she could focus on was the idea that Lucavion, the person who had saved her, who had given her a reason to keep fighting, was being accused of such heinous acts.

There's no way, she thought desperately. Lucavion wouldn't do that. He wouldn't abandon me. Not after everything we've been through together.

The memories of their time together flashed through her mind—his words of encouragement, his steady presence beside her on the battlefield, the way he had taught her to believe in herself when no one else did. He had always been there, a constant, unyielding force in her life. How could he just leave without a word? How could he commit such a betrayal?

The colonel's voice broke through her thoughts, demanding her attention. "Jesse Burns, did he tell you anything about his plans? Did he mention anything about leaving or… escaping?"

She blinked, her heart pounding as she struggled to find her voice. "N-no, Colonel," she stammered, her voice barely audible. "He didn't say anything… He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't leave… not like this."

But even as she said the words, doubt began to creep into her mind. It was late—far too late. Lucavion should have returned by now. Where was he? Had he really… left her? The possibility twisted her stomach into knots, the realization slowly dawning on her like a cold, harsh light.

'What if… what if he really did leave?' The thought clawed at her, tearing through the fragile hope she had clung to. 'What if he abandoned me, just like everyone else?'

Her breath caught in her throat as she replayed their last conversation, the way he had spoken to her, almost as if he were saying goodbye without actually saying the words. The pieces began to fall into place, each one slicing through her heart with the sharpness of betrayal.

'He left,' she thought, the words heavy and bitter. 'He left me. Just like they all did.'

The pain was familiar, a deep, aching wound that had never fully healed. But this time, it was different. This time, it wasn't just the pain of being abandoned—it was the pain of being betrayed by the one person she had thought she could trust.

Her hands trembled, her mind spiraling as the truth settled in. Lucavion was gone. He had left her, just like everyone else, without a word, without a warning. The cold, empty feeling of abandonment washed over her, but it didn't break her this time. Instead, it ignited something dark and twisted within her.

'No,' she thought, her grip tightening on the edge of the bedroll. 'I won't let him leave me. I won't be abandoned again. Not by him.'

Her heart hardened, her thoughts sharpening into a singular focus. Lucavion had been the one to save her, to give her life meaning when she had nothing left. She wouldn't let him disappear, wouldn't let him escape her grasp. If he thought he could leave her behind, he was wrong.

'I'll find you, Lucavion,' she vowed silently, her eyes darkening with a fierce, obsessive determination. 'I'll find you, and I'll make you see. You can't leave me, not after everything we've been through.

'You belong with me.'

'You're mine.'

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