CH 24

Floa’s eyes shook violently at May’s answer. The reason was also unknown to him.

“It doesn’t matter, Floa, whether I leave or not.”

But why are you acting like it matters?

Floa couldn’t refute it, so he only smiled, then dropped his gaze.

Certainly. He doesn’t care if she leaves or not.

She may not be of the bloodline of the Flotina, and even if she is, as a daughter she cannot inherit the family, so she is not an important existence to him.

But why does it hurt so much like a sharp thorn scraping his chest to hear that she is leaving?

Floa had no answer, so May asked again.

“If I leave and don’t become the head of household, it’s good for Floa. It’s what Floa wanted.”

Floa denied it in a louder voice than ever, feeling unjust that May wanted her to leave.

“I’ve never wanted you to leave…!”

It was sincere. At first, he didn’t care whether she was raised at the Duke’s residence or sent to the orphanage, and after being raised as the son, he was just wary of her taking over the position of head of the household.

Not once did he ever wish for her to leave.

“Then, is it okay if I become the head of the household? Even if I’m not my father’s real daughter?”

“Well, that’s…”

I couldn’t say yes or no, so I couldn’t answer.

Why couldn’t I say no? I’m sure I don’t want her to become the family head.

Could it be that she is a blood relative of Passabea? 

Or maybe because I’m afraid she might leave?

Then why?

Why don’t I want her to leave?

Looking sadly at Flore who averted her gaze again, May spoke.

“I have the intention to leave, but I have not decided to leave unconditionally.”

“… Is that really true?”

Floa’s face brightened slightly, as if receiving a ray of light. It was a look of hope.

“If my dad realizes how wrong he was to me, sincerely apologizes, and lets me live as his daughter, I won’t leave.”

However, the light that had come into his face disappeared when he heard the difficult conditions to fulfill.

“But my dad is not that kind of person. That’s why I said I’m leaving.”

“I’ll try to convince him. So-”

“No. Please don’t.”

His rejection, cutting off his words, was as firm as ice.

“Don’t try to convince my dad.”

“…”

At this moment, Floa felt as if the girl in front of him was Persis’ bloodline.

Otherwise, she couldn’t be so firm.

“My dad has to realize his mistake on his own. It doesn’t mean anything for Floa to persuade and apologize, even if it means that I can end the son’s act right now.”

“…”

May looked down at the hem of the blanket that covered her thighs. The flimsy hem of the blanket was held in her hand at random.

“Don’t tell anyone that I’m leaving someday. Especially my dad, he must never know.”

If she said she was leaving, Persis would try to prevent her from leaving instead of reflecting on himself.

May put down the quilt and sat on the bed, grabbing his thin sleeve.

“Floa promised to always be on my side, so never tell anyone. Never! Do you understand?”

Floa looked at the depth of the other’s blue eyes, sadly, and replied firmly.

“I will remember that.”

***

That afternoon, when the wind was the warmest of the day. As usual, Floa, who had a leisurely tea time at the garden gazebo in the duke’s residence, was weak.

Exactly, after learning that May might leave someday.

Of course, Floa was not always vigorous, passionate, and full of energy. However, he felt so lethargic that he looked drowsy.

The words May said to him this morning kept ringing in his ears.

“Don’t try to persuade Dad.”

“Dad has to realize his own mistakes for it to mean something.”

I asked her to do so, but I couldn’t even let her leave. Floa, who managed to live his own life without dwelling on Passabea were thanks to her.

“What should I do?”

I had a dangerous thought of using mind magic on her, so she wouldn’t leave, but how could I control that innocent girl as I pleased? Knowing it was not the right way, I gave up on the idea.

He got up from his seat, unable to stay still as he watched the gardener watering the vibrant flowers without any meaning. The place where he disappeared with the wind was back in Persis’s office. Floa approached Persis, who was sitting and working.

Although Persis noticed that Floa had come, he didn’t pay much attention to him. Floa asked Persis in front of his desk, “Why do you want to raise May as your son?”

Persis’ gaze remained fixed on the documents scattered on his desk. His answer was simple: “Because I need a son.”

That’s not why you brought May. If you just needed a son, you don’t have to bring May.”

If he really only needed a son, he wouldn’t have thought of bringing a girl.

“I needed a son, and in the process, I came to recognize May as my child and brought her here.”

But May is a woman.”

Not a man.

“…”

He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was afraid that May would leave. He had promised her not to tell anyone about it.

“But just because I call her my son, doesn’t mean she will become my heir. I can always make a male child my heir.”

You said it yourself. My reproductive capacity is intact.

He really let his daughter grow as a son, and he even spewed out jokes as if nothing had happened.

His words were contradictory. Why would he need a son in the first place? Wasn’t it because he needed a successor to inherit the family line?

But if he can make a male child his heir, then what’s the point of raising his daughter as a son?

It couldn’t be more contradictory than that.

“… Are you not willing to admit it?”

To take in a useless daughter, and even a child who may not even be his own, into his family.

“Do you want to raise May as your son because you can’t accept having a useless daughter in your family?”

He didn’t answer the question.

“She was the one who suggested it first.”

His evasion was a confirmation. He hit the nail on the head.

“There’s no girl in this house.”

“…”

He picked up his fountain pen again and resumed his work as if nothing had happened.

“Until May’s power within the family is established, I will raise her as my son. Even if a natural disaster occurs, this decision will not change.”

“… Won’t you regret it?”

Floa asked. If he would regret it.

Come to think of it, Hind had asked him the same thing.

“Are these all just unfounded concerns?”

“I asked you before. I gave an ambiguous answer at the time, so let me make it clear today.”

Not only raising her as a son, but also trying to send the little one to an orphanage, and everything that made her cry.

Everything is without exception.

“I have no regrets.”

His voice was so cold that it felt like it was pounding into his chest. The pain of the wound was so great that he was grateful it wasn’t May who was hearing it.

He easily spouted such words.

“I have nothing to regret in the future.”

The child had become his own as Persis had wanted, and as he had wanted, the child would be raised as a son, and the child would know his place and not rebel against his father.

In the end, everything went Persis’s way.

***

Floa quietly settled in a corner of the library after leaving Persis’s office. 

As he walked past several bookshelves with quiet steps, he saw May and Mrs. Yudif attending a class while sitting on the sofa.

Mei spoke with amazement as she looked at the book, “A train that operates with magic power?”

“It runs on the magic power of the three imperial guardians,” Mrs. Yudif replied.

“That’s amazing! I really want to ride it!” May exclaimed.

They were discussing a train that runs on the magic power of the three imperial guardians.

They were exchanging words about how the train window was so big that it was enjoyable to see the scenery outside, and promising to experience it for themselves.

As Floa secretly watched May, an emotionless voice echoed in his mind, “I have no regrets.”

‘There will be no regrets in the future.’

Will he really be able to say such words even after losing that girl? By the time she leaves, they will have already become attached to each other. Perhaps the reason he wants her to stay is because of Persis.

Just like how the estate was left to decay until Viche returned, he is afraid that his daughter will also be left behind and become ruined until she comes back.

He is here for Flotina. He always has to think about Flotina’s safety and well-being.

However, worrying that he will break again after overcoming a great ordeal is just a whim, and it is impossible to explain why his heart is so confused.

“It’s not because of anything, I just hope she doesn’t leave.”

As Floa thinks deeply, the class ends and Attila Yudif leaves.

T/N: Guys I have exams that start in May, so I’ll take a minor break and will come back with daily updates. If another chap is not posted then it means it will be after 20 may.