CH 119

Screaming.

Wailing.

She threw all of her emotions at the boy in front of her.

“You don’t get it, do you? I want to be loved, even if it means sacrificing everything I have!”

It didn’t matter what form it took.

She wanted to be loved by him.

“I don’t care if I have to change myself as long as they loved me… Have you ever loved someone that much!?”

She remembered what happened on that day as if it were only yesterday.

It was the high school entrance ceremony, and she fell in love at first sight with Ryoma Ryuzaki, a boy she met for the first time.

She had a gut feeling that he was the one. She didn’t know why. But it was the first time she had ever fallen in love with someone in particular, and she definitely wanted to be in a relationship with him.   

She’d always had a habit of being passionate about the things she liked.   

When she was in middle school, she loved ‘stories’ and immersed herself in them all the time.

That was all she ever wanted to do.

When she became a high school student, “Ryoma Ryuzaki” became her object of interest.

Regardless, she became obsessed with him. To have fun with someone you like, you must first make him like you. As a result, she made the effort.

Her feelings for Ryoma Ryuzaki were not false.

She didn’t want to be labeled as “dependent” on him.

She didn’t want to be ridiculed solely for this thought.

Just looking for a dependent partner? That can’t be true. It can’t be.

“Is it really such a bad thing to want to be tied to someone you love? Is it wrong to try to be the person he loves, even if you have to twist yourself to be that person?”

Falling in love, hoping that her feelings would be realized, as well as making an effort to do so – that was all Kirari did.

And yet, the boy standing in front of her denied it.

He spat on Kirari’s efforts and thoughts and trampled on them.

That was unforgivable.

“No, I’m not wrong. I just wanted him to like me. That’s all there is to it, so why are you making fun of me…? Why are you denying it? Are you looking down on me?”

She didn’t ask him to support her.

She didn’t say that she wanted him to watch over her.

She simply assumed that if she wanted to see it, she could.

“Hey, Ko-kun, tell me… Why do you make fun of me? Tell me. Hey, answer me properly …Kotaro Nakayama!!”

She yelled at him. She wanted to slap him on the cheek again, allowing her emotions get the better of her.

But she wouldn’t do that. She had just learned that hitting someone hurts her as well.

The hand that struck him was throbbing with pain. She had no strength in her wrist and fingers. Of course, Kirari is not accustomed to hurting people. Conversely, she was not accustomed to being hurt.

She had no remorse about hitting him.

But hurting him any further was a different story.

“Say something…”

The one-sided violence almost made her feel self-conscious.

Even though she’s the one who hurt him, it’s tempting to play the victim.

But she didn’t allow it. She won’t even allow him to look away.

The boy who had been grabbed by the collar, on the other hand, stared back at Kirari without looking away.

In his black-colored eyes was a girl with a terrible expression on her face. Controlled by rage, she looked as if she wanted to kill the boy.

Nonetheless, he confronted Kirari’s thoughts head on.

“Show me the results.”

Those words pierced into Kirari’s chest.

“What difference does it make if you just yell and scream? Don’t be satisfied with haphazard efforts. That’s all you are now, and all you will ever be.”           

…That’s right. Kirari has yet to benefit from it.

Even though she loves him so much, she hasn’t even been able to turn her attention to the person she loves.

Kotaro Nakayama stated that anything she said would be meaningless in such a situation.